textfiles/sex/EROTICA/C/cracker.txt

			    Married with Children
			    Episode: The Cracker

Note: This story containts adult subject matter including depictions of
sexual activity (mf, ff, b/d, inc, beast). It is non-commercial and meant for 
entertainment only. Any similarities between it and real life events such as
the TV sitcom of the same name are purely coincidental. 

Caution: do not try this at home. These people are effectively cartoon 
characters and they are professionals.

Characters:

  Al - the father, works in a women's shoe store, miserable, bigoted, loud
  Peg - the mother, watches talk shows, smokes and eats bon-bons all day
  Kelly - the daughter, a perfect bimbo, staying back in high school
  Bud - the son, smart college student, unlucky in love (very)
  Buck - the family dog, lazy mutt
  Marcy - next-door neighbor wife, bank VP, yuppie feminist, 
  Jefferson - Marcy's husband, gigolo, married for money


				COMEDY SCENE 1

[Scene: Bundy living room. Al is returning home from work and opens the door
to see his high-school aged daughter, Kelly, sitting at counter conversing 
on the phone. Her long blonde
hair is teased. Her lips are painted red. She is wearing lots of jewelry, a
man's T-shirt, and nothing else. Her nipples are erect and poke out through
the shirt. One hand is moving between her legs.]

Kelly: [in sultry voice] Oh great warrior, take me, take my naked body and
have your way with me. Grope my tits, pinch my ass, pierce me anywhere with 
your big, thick, ...

Al: [clears throat loudly] Ahem.

Kelly: I've got to go now, my daddy just came home. Don't worry, I won't tell 
him it was you, *Mr. Horn*. See you in class tomorrow. Bye. [Hangs up phone
and turns to Al beaming.] Hi, daddy! [She runs to him and stretches to hug 
him around the neck, her shirt riding high up on her bare cheeks.]

Al: Kelly, what's that matter with you? Haven't I told you not to play sex
games, including phone sex, with older men.

Kelly: What about "hide the salami"?

Al: [Looks at her sternly.] Where did you learn that?

Kelly: From Jefferson.

Al: Is he trying to put something into you?

Kelly: No, daddy. I bring over a salami from our fridge and he hides it...
[Al looks down at her belly wide-eyed] in *him* daddy, not in me. Don't
worry, I always bring it back.

Al: Acchphthui! [He makes a sickened look on his face and spits up.]

Kelly: Dad, I love you. [She hugs him.] When they made you, they broke
the commode.

Al: Well, I don't want these men taking advantage of you. Remember what 
happened when Bud took all those nude pictures of you and sent them to those
smut mags with an announcement of a slave model? Your daddy almost ended 
up as the cornerstone of a cement building when you couldn't go on that one.
Be careful with these sex games.

Kelly: My girlfriend, Sherry, did it. Now she lives with a wealthy old guy in 
a condom.

Al: That's condo, pumpkin. And if I get a hold of this Mr. Horn, he will be
henceforth known as Mr. Hornless! [He shakes his fist, grabs her wrist and
marches to sit at one end of the couch. Pulling her over his knee so her
rear end is uncovered. Pinning her with one arm, he spanks her repeatedly. 
Her little butt reddens brightly as it squirms under his slaps. She kicks her 
feet around vainly attempting to get away. The front of her T jiggles
dramatically beneath her undulating breasts. Her hips rub his groin 
vigorously.]

Kelly: Please, OH, Daddy, OW, stop, OUCH, pleeease, AHHHH, Daddy, AIEEE, you 
don't, OOO, understand, ACKKK!

Al: [Pauses the assault. Kelly groans and opens her legs wide. One of her 
hands unconciously works its way down between her legs and her eyes close
for a moment. Al's palm idly carresses his daughter's firm, taut derriere.]
What don't I understand, sweetheart?

Kelly: [Opens her eyes.] I bill Mr. Horn's credit card for it. I want to 
have enough money to buy clothes so I can be a rock video slut on MTV.

Al: [brightening up] Oh, that's different. As long as you're making money.
[He leans over and kisses her
reassuringly on the rump.] There, is that all better? [She gently moves to
sit on the other end of the couch, easing her weight onto her seat, puts her 
bare feet in his lap wiggling the toes, and buries her hands between her 
legs.] And as long as Daddy get's his share... 

Kelly: Yeah, yeah. The usual. 50%. With Bud's 50%, that leaves me with, how 
much? Oh well, I'll add it up later. How was work today, Daddy? [She lifts
one bare foot and strokes his face with it. He closes his eyes and inhales 
deeply then sighs.]

Al: I sold exactly one pair of women's shoes today to a huge, fat woman with 
enormous, sweaty, smelly, godforsaken feet. Why don't I get the girls like
they show in the shoe ads on TV? By the way, your girlfriend
Mink didn't show up at bowling last night, for Ed's birthday, and I'm out the 
money I paid for her striptease. Not to mention the wrath of several horny
bowlers looking for a piece away from home.

Kelly: We had another job. I mean, she won't give you the money back, Daddy.
Her manager said she had to help some friends entertaining a sports team.

Al: Then I'm out big bucks. The least she could do would be to make it up
to me in trade. Her hooters are like ones in my favorite magazine, "Bigguns".
[His eyes glaze.] And she wears those 5" high heels with the open toes.

Kelly: You like *my* feet, don't you Daddy? [She raises one foot to his 
mouth and he begins to suck her toes blissfully.] She and I switch off
eachother's clients sometimes. I could make it up to you.

Al: [nodding] Ummmmmmmmmm. [Kelly leans to observe the bulge growing in
Al's pants. She reaches and unzips it. Al immediately rouses and removes her
foot from his mouth.] Don't do that, Kelly. Your mother will notice that I'm
excited and want to go upstairs. You know I dread that. [He looks at his
daughter's lap and she scootches down and spreads her legs wide open
revealing the soft, downy, blonde hair trimmed carefully around her moist,
swollen, vaginal lips. She pulls her T-shirt up over her bare titties. 
Reaching down between her legs, she frigs a little and spreads open with her 
fingers. Al's eyes are drawn to her belly as he inhales deeply again. With
a groan, his hips jerk spasmodically several times and he slumps back on the
couch, a wet stain visible in front of his trousers.]

Kelly: [smiles and stands up smoothing her T-shirt around her thighs.] Well, 
okay Daddy, I'll be a good girl. I've got to go up to Bud's computer now, and
write a report for school tomorrow. It's on something called "virginal
reality". It's, like, an unreal idea.

Al: [shakes head hopelessly] That's "virtual reality", princess, but in
your case, either is right. Speaking of reality, where's your mother? [He 
looks around nervously putting his hands over his groin.]

Kelly: She's next door at the Darcy's. [Kelly goes up stairs.
Al puts one hand in his belt, and with the other uses the remote to turn
on the TV.]


				COMEDY SCENE 2

[Scene: Darcy living room. Peg and Marcy are sitting on the couch and a
12-year old boy with short hair and glasses is sitting in an armchair.
Peg has a lot of red hair, too much makeup on her big eyes and big lips,
no powder on her big nose, a halter-top barely covering her big bosom, and 
tight, black, spandex slacks that end mid-calf. She's sitting with one thigh
crossed over the other, swinging her foot back and forth rapidly, dangling
a black high-heeled shoe from the toes. Marcy is cute, with short dark hair,
a black dress, skinny legs and she is wearing black high-heels.]

Marcy: Peg, this is Petey, the 12-year-old genius that I was telling you 
about. [The boy is eyeing Peg's large bust.]

Peg: You mean the computer whiz that is helping you crack into the bank
that you work at and embezzle millions of dollars? [Marcy smiles and nods
head vigorously. Peg continues to Petey...] My son, Bud, plays with 
computers. His only interest is getting a computer date with some fox he
talks to on-line named Joey. What a name for a girl! [She giggles vacantly.]

Marcy: Petey, this is Mrs. Bundy. She lives next door. [Looks at Peg.]
We met when he was, uh, peeping into our window late one night as I was 
undressing and I caught him "flogging his monkey" shall we say?. I watched
him for a while..., I mean I immediately put clothes on, then we worked 
out a way for him to avoid having his parents find out about it, didn't we 
Petey?

Petey: [sarcastically] Yeah, right. You get 20 million dollars and I stay
out of trouble. You can trust *me*, Mrs. Darcy.

Marcy: There is the little matter of clearing up my husband's criminal 
record, too, remember?

Petey: He the one that I saw with the nipples tattooed on his shoulderblades?

Marcy: [blushes and grimaces] Well, that's a private joke with some of his 
old prison buddies. [Looks at watch and is suddenly startled.] That reminds
me, I'm got another deal that I need to close with a partner right away.
You two can chat a bit and stay awhile, okay? I'll be back soon. [She gets up 
and goes out front door.]

Peg: Oh it's so hot in here. [Fans herself, then pulls halter top down to her
stomach.] Oops! I just can't keep this thing on my boobs. Petey, would you be
interested in cutting me in on part of this bank deal? I could return the 
favor... [She pats the cushion. Petey gets up and sits by her.] You know my 
husband says my melons've gotten bigger since I've gained weight. [She puts
hands underneath and proudly hoists them up, leaning forward and mashing them
into the kid's face.] 

Petey: Uhm-hmm. [He mumbles from within the massive mammaries...] Okay, okay.
We'll use your computer to store some files.

Peg: OK. [In baby-talk.] What do you think? I think I'm full-figured. [She 
stands and turns then peels her slacks down to mid-thigh to reveal her bare
buns, shimmying from side to side, and gently bouncing back repeatedly 
into the boy's face.] What do you think? [She purses her lips and pushs her
hips back to wiggle them and press the boy's head back into the sofa.] Al
never licks my twat. Yeah, uhm, higher, uhm, oh, higher, oh, unh, higher,
oooo, yes, you naughty boy. [She straightens up and kneels down on the floor 
in front of him reaching for his zipper.] I never undo his pants and slide 
them down. Did you get a boner when you were licking Mrs. Bundy's fanny? 
Want to know what I do when a real man has a boner? [She starts jerking
him off, leans down and sucks his dick noisily stopping when he's close.] 
Have you ever played "amusement park"? My body has the attractions. You get 
to try the rides. [She giggles then gets on her
hands and knees with her rear pointed to him. He jumps to the floor and
starts humping her from behind for all he's worth.] Not there, I'm way too 
loose for your size, Petey. Stick it up my bottom, it's much tighter. [He 
shifts.] Screw my fat hiney, baby. Bang my butt. Cream in my twinkie, honey. 
Splash in my ass-hole. Oh, yeahhh, fill Mrs. Bundy's booty. [In seconds, his 
back arches, and he moans, bucking his hips spasmodically against her fleshy
buttocks. Then he falls back onto the couch to regain his breath, and starts
to fall asleep.] Yup, Al lasts about the same amount of time.
[Peg gets up and reaches one hand behind her to wipe her rear.] Of course,
Al only does it in the missionary position. I can't believe you just made me 
do all of those disgusting things! [Pulls her slacks up and fixes
her halter top then sits down. She lights up a cigarette and sucks on it.] 
Really! Men are such pigs.


				COMEDY SCENE 3

[Scene: Bundy living room. Doorbell rings, Al gets up and answers door.
Marcy comes in.]

Marcy: Hi, Al. Getting a little ripe under the arms aren't we?

Al: Well, if it isn't a talking chicken. Peg's not here, Marcy.

Marcy: I came to see Bud, anyway. Is he upstairs? [She heads up the stairs.
Al scratches his head and returns to the couch to watch TV.]

[Scene: Bud's bedroom. Marcy comes in and starts to close the door when an
inflatable woman in lace panties and bra falls from behind it, so she leaves
the door open. Then she notices Kelly is sitting in a chair with
a cord from the computer disappearing under her shirt.]

Marcy: [gently puts an arm around the girl's shoulders and speaks very
slowly.] Kelly? Where is the mouse?

Kelly: Oh that? Uh, I was playing with it and, uh, ... my pussy ate it. 
Now I can't get it out.

Marcy: You poor baby. Where is Bud?

Kelly: He's in the bathroom changing into his hat and cape. He's going to
hypnotize me so I can remember the whole course and get an 'A' on my
report. I'm writing all about the President and how cute he is, and 
how rich, and powerful, and rich. I started typing it in when the mouse
got stuck.

Marcy: Here let me help you with that, I think I know how to get it out. 
[Marcy stands Kelly up and leans her over the desk, lifts the back of the 
T-shirt and rubs her hand over the girl's exposed mound from the rear. 
Kelly sighs as Marcy eases out the mouse and puts it on the desk before 
turning Kelly around.] 

Kelly: By the way, Mrs. Darcy, can you make sure that your husband pays
me the rest of what he owes for playing "hide the salami"? 

Marcy: What?! Why you little home-breaker. [She pulls Kelly's hair. Kelly,
an experienced cat-fighter counters by pinching her fingers around Marcy's
nipples and twisting them hard. Marcy opens her hands and drops to her knees. 
Kelly grabs Marcy's hair and twists it. 's cunt. Marcy attempts to bite Kelly
in the thigh and ends up with her nose under the younger girl's T-shirt.
Kelly feels pussy being nibbled and pulls Marcy's head in tighter with her 
hands. Marcy's tries to squeal only making her tongue dart in and out of
the girl repeatedly until the clit is swollen stiff and protruding out. Then
Marcy stands and brings her hands up under Kelly's shirt lifting it up over
Kelly's shoulders to claw the exposed breasts. Kelly spits at Marcy and puts
her arms around her to stop the attack. Marcy puts her arms around Kelly and
they pause breathing hard.] I guess you won't say "uncle". [Kelly nods
and Marcy softly strokes her hair. Kelly looks at her innocently and Marcy
kisses her passionately on the lips mashing their tits and mounds together. 
Her head dips to suckle Kelly's nipple as one hand unzips her own dress in 
back and she slips it off. She pushes Kelly's head down and the girl sucks
Marcy's nipples. Marcy moans then lifts Kelly's head and lowers her own
to bite Kelly's nipples roughly.] I win.

Kelly: You cheat! [Kelly pushes Marcy's face away, grabs her shoulders
and spins her over the desk, then leans forward to finger the older women's
twat and to tongue it. She pinches the lips wide with her fingers. Marcy
squeals and her knees buckle so she falls to the floor landing on her back,
legs spread, one hand in her pussy, the other reaching to penetrate Kelly's
wet core. Kelly stands astride Marcy and drops to her knees smothering
Marcy's face with her box. Marcy moans and writhes, pushing herself up on her
elbows to munch the blonde beauty. Kelly rolls over onto her tummy on the 
floor. Marcy rolls to her tummy. Both girls reach back between them and
finger eachother's anuses simultaneously, getting ready for another round...

Just then, Bud comes in behind the women. He is wearing a black top hat and
cape and taking pictures with an instamatic. His face is beaming a big 
smile. The fly of his trousers is sticking straight out. Kelly gets up to
lick Marcy's ass and sees him standing there.]

Kelly: Hey, no fair. Bud's taking pictures again.

Marcy: What?! [She scrambles to find her dress.] How dare you young man?
I never!

Kelly: And he's got a boner... [Points her finger at it.]

Marcy: [Halts, drops the clothes.] Okay, big guy. Real women turn you on,
huh? [She flexes and juts out her nonexistent chest, stands and poses each
skinny leg in turn. Slapping her hand to her twat, she cackles.] Ha, ha, ha,
young man, never, I say, never, will you get a piece of this luscious,
to-die-for, female flesh. Put *that* on your cue stick next time you polish 
it! [She again picks up her dress.]

Bud: [Looking bewilderingly at Kelly.] What? Kel, did you catch what
pidgeon legs here just said? [Marcy looks deflated in background.]

Kelly: Don't ask me, you're the intelligent one. Just hurry up and hypnotize
me so I get an 'A'. [She pulls her T-shirt back on.] And no hanky-panky while 
I'm defenseless, alright? 

Marcy: Can I watch? [Sits on bed.] I've been hypnotized before. 

Bud: Okay, just shut up. [Looks at Kelly.] Now, remember the last time that
you were hypnotized completely? Okay, when I snap my fingers you will go
back into that trance and do exactly what I say for the next two hours. 
[Snaps his fingers. Kelly looks at him blankly. Marcy's eyes close and her 
head drops limply from her neck.]

Bud: Kelly what do you feel?

Kelly: Nothing. It worked on Marcy though.

Bud: I should've known. It takes at least some intelligence to be hypnotized.
You're already in a daze as it is.

Kelly: What about my paper? 

Bud: I can get my girlfriend, Joey, to write it on-line. She's good at
writing and you can print it out tomorrow, okay? Besides, she's coming
over tomorrow to meet me in person. 

Kelly: Wonderful, a geek convention in our house. Well my boyfriend is
coming over, too, and *we* don't need a computer to get it on. [She wrinkles
her nose and sticks her tongue out at him.]
 
Bud: Really? Now you have to blow me if you want the paper.

Kelly: Aw, not again, you're just like the paperboy. [She drops to her knees,
opens his cape and unbuckles his pants, pulls out his pecker and starts
sucking it like there's no tomorrow using her lips, tongue and teeth
expertly, taking him all the way to her tonsils, sucking his balls,
licking up and down the shaft of this cock and using her fingers to ignite
a horny fire in her horny younger brother.]

Bud: Sis, you are the best head a guy could ever want! By the way, you
have to swallow it.

Kelly: Mmmlllphlorbgotlekminblurt! [She flips him the bird with her hand,
and swallows as he spurts down her throat.]

Bud:  Now, for some nookie... Wait a minute! [He looks at Marcy.] Here help
lay her on her back and tie her down. Now, you can go up there and sit on her
face and I'll tend to her down here. Go! [Kelly hops onto the bed and squats 
at the head with her snatch over Marcy's face.] Marcy, you can hear me. Eat 
my sister until I tell you to stop. I am going to ball you and I will be the
best lover that you have ever known. You will have multiple orgasms 
continuously until I am through. Do you understand? [Marcy's head nods
under Kelly. Bud buries his tool to the balls in Marcy's hootch.] Go.
[Marcy begins bucking her hips like a bronco, moaning and thrashing her
head under Kelly screaming all the while.]

Kelly: Yeeee-hahhhh. Ride 'em cowboy! [She give Bud a high-five.]


				COMEDY SCENE 4

[Scene: The Bundy living room. It is morning. Al comes downstairs buttoning 
his shirt. Kelly, Bud, Peg, and Petey are standing by the couch. Buck is
lying on the floor.]

Kelly: [holding Petey by one of his ears] When I woke up, I felt something 
hot sliding in and out of my bung hole. When I turned my head to see why it
was taking Buck longer than usual, I saw this little geek porking my fanny.
 
Bud: I guess now we know you like it *doggie-style*. Ha. Ha.

Peg: Buck?! I hope you wash him dear. [She smiles nervously and puts her 
hands over her groin.]

Buck: [Ears perk up and he lifts head] Rarrrf! [He rolls onto his back with
his legs in the air, a boner along his belly. He pants with his tongue 
hanging out.]

Kelly: Not now, Buck. The kid said he's a "cracker" and a "pre-op" or 
something. [Bud looks at him questioningly.]

Petey: That's sysop. I tapped into your computer over the phone... [Suddenly,
Peg takes Kelly's hand away from his ear, and pats him gently on the head.]
By the way, that Darcy lady is nuts. You two are out of the bank deal.

Peg: Now, now, dear. I'm sure it's all a misunderstanding. [She takes Joey
and gently leads him to the front door.] Isn't it, Joey? Why don't you run 
on home and get ready for school? [She let's him out and closes the door
then turns to look at Buck and rubs her groin.]

Al: Oh, uh, Peg. I don't suppose there is any breakfast this morning before
I rush off to work? [She shakes her head.] I didn't think so. Never is. See 
you later, kids. [He goes out the front door.]


				COMEDY SCENE 5

[Scene: the Bundy living room. Al returns home from work. The family and 
Jefferson are standing around, except for Peg who is sitting on the couch.]

Al: Family, I'm home. What a day!

Peg: Oh shutup, Al. You always complain. What about me? I've been sitting on
this couch all day long and my heinie is sore. She shifts to sit on the other
hip. Oh, and Bud's girlfriend is due any minute.

Al: [looks alarmed] Bud? Girlfriend? That's impossible. It's never been done.

Bud: Very funny, Dad. She even says she's domestic and is willing to help
clean, cook and sew. [The men look at him with amazement.]

Kelly: My boyfriend is coming over, too. He's got a tattoo. [Eyes glaze.]

Al: [Looks at Jefferson.] Hi Jefferson, where's the little wombat?

Jefferson: I don't know, I haven't seen her all day.
[Front doorbell rings. He answers it. A slovenly-
dressed, unshaven, unkempt, disheveled young guy comes in.] 

Kelly: Turk!

Turk: Slut! [She runs to him and they kiss. His hands are all over
her and he's trying to push her down to the floor. She fights him off and 
turns to the others.]

Kelly: Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Turk.

Al: Nice to meet you.

Turk: [Look's Al up and down then turns to Kelly.] Who's numb nuts here?

Al: [menacingly raises his fists] YOU COME INTO MY HOME AND... [front 
doorbell rings].

Al: [puts hands down and answers door] Yes, can I help you? [2 suits come 
in with sunglasses on and wires running up to earplugs.]

Man #1: [Monotone.] Secret Service. [Flashes badge.] Is Kelly Bundy here?

Kelly: Yes, that's me.

Man #2: [Looking her over lustfully] You'll have to come with us, young lady.

Al: What's going on?

Man #1: We had your phone under surveillance in an effort to catch some
hackers, Sir. Your daughter was using a computer and modem and she made a 
comment about the President.

Kelly: I just said he's kind of cute, what's wrong with that?

Man #2: Well, besides protecting his safety and that of the treasury,
the President has empowered us to arrest any women that make lewd remarks
about him and to bring them in for inspection, er, I mean questioning.

Al: That's ridiculous. My daughter is not going anywhere. Let him find his
own bimbos like he did when he was governor. [Softly] No offence, Kelly.

Man #1: Well, alright, as long as she helps us to identify the crackers,
we'll let her go *this time*. We'll be in touch. [The suits turn to leave.]

Al: Wait! [Grabs Kelly's boyfriend by the lapel.] Take Turd here with you.

Man #2: [Grabs him.] What's he done?

Al: Uh, he's the one you want. He's the hooker. 

Man #1: [Resignedly] Thanks. [They escort the boy out. Al closes the door.]

Kelly: Daddy, how could you. He was my new love, and he's single this time!

Al: Sorry, pumpkin. Sometimes a daddy's gotta do, what a daddy's gotta do.

Peg: [Nervously] Gee, maybe we ought to get rid of that computer, Bud. It
keeps bringing us nothing but trouble.

Bud: No way, I've got a gigabyte of dirty GIF's, I mean, ah, wait until my 
divine delight arrives. I met her through e-mail.

[The doorbell rings. Bud opens the door to a beautiful
brunette girl, about 21 years of age, 5'10", 140 lbs., 60-24-34. Everyone's
chin hits the floor. He takes her hand and escorts her inside.] Everyone,
I'd like to introduce Joey.

Joey: Hi everybody! [She waves looking meaningfully at Kelly. Al and 
Jefferson give eachother the high 5.]

Al: Son, now there's a girl you can send in pictures of. Hello Bigguns!. [His
eyes glaze.]

Peg: Are those for real, honey? 

Joey: No. Actually, I work as a topless dancer and they help to bring in
tips. I'm getting the rest as soon as I can afford it.

Bud: The rest?

Joey: Yeah, the rest of the operation. I'm a transexual. I thought you knew.
[Chins hit the floor all around. Joey puts his/her fingers around his/her 
balls.] I still got this to go.

Al: Oh, no! Goodbye Bigguns. [He puts head in hands and begins to cry.]

Kelly: [to Joey] Ohhhhh, that's a big one! Got any tattoo's?

Joey: Yeah, I got condom tattooed on my dick.

Peg: Shutup, Kelly. Al, did you ever have that talk with Bud?

Kelly: Well, since noone cares about my feelings, I'm going up to my room
and suntan naked under my lava lamp. [She turns and heads up the stairs.]

Joey: I'm with you, Kelly. Maybe I'll keep this wienie if you like it so
much. [He/she starts after Kelly who gives him her warmest smile.]

Jefferson: [Big smile.] Hold on there, Joey, baby. I've never met a, you 
know, TV. Have you ever played "hide the sausage"? [He runs after them.] 

Al: Wow, if you could marry a TV, and it was domestic, that *would* 
be the perfect wife. Wonder what's on the late show tonight? [He grabs the 
newspaper, puts it under his arm and turns to leave then stops and smiles.] 

Peg: [Wrinkles her nose.] Phew, Al did you just "let one fly"?

Al: Yup, and there's plenty more where that came from. [He starts walking.]
Time to check the plumbing.

Bud: Uh, dad, if you're going to the bathroom, pay no attention to Mrs.
Darcy tied up naked in the tub covered in jello. She's helping me with a
science project. [Al nods and goes through door to bathroom. Muffled cries
are heard from Marcy as the door closes.] Okay, that's it. Mom you're right, 
we get rid of the computer. I'll stick to the 900 #'s on the phone. It's hell 
on dad's credit card, but, heck, he can't pay the bill anyway. [He looks at 
Peg and they both laugh.] 

Peg: [Seriously] Bud, come here. [He stands next to her. She unzips his fly 
and reaches in. Bud moans as she fumbles around in there, rubbing and 
stroking.] My boy isn't thinking of getting an operation, too, is he? [Bud
shakes his head.] Your pee-pee feels good, doesn't it? [He nods. She pulls 
her hand out and zips him up.]

Bud: [Frustratedly.] Why did you stop?

Peg: Your father's going to be in the bathroom for hours, and mummy needs 
help removing some body hair. [She brushes her fingers on her lap.] Come with 
me young man. [They head up the stairs.]

THE END