textfiles/sex/EROTICA/C/comeout.txt

Archive-name: Bestial/comeout.txt
Archive-author: Tsaot Ablem / Saranthyrr Thristovar'ren
Archive-title: Coming Out
 
Hello there everyone on this newsgroup.
 
    In case you do not remember me, I went by Tsaot Ablem and posted a few
things (on the order of one or two posts) on this newsgroup before summer
started.  One of those postings was entitled 'request from a zoovirgin.'  I
would like to thank all the helpful mail that I received from readers of that
posting, and I would like to especially thank Wrangler and User@Large (hope
you're still reading the group!) for a most enlightening (to say the least)
week at the ranch.
    A few years ago (well, actually, up until around spring break '93), I was
pretty close-minded about one's sexuality.  Hell, I thought my interest in
horses was something that was bizarre/perverse/(insert any flaming descriptor
here).  I viewed homosexuals in the same light, as well as bondage and any
other alternative sexual lifestyle that was not the 'normal' one (i.e. the one
currently accepted as 'normal' by the majority of society).  I even had a
girlfriend.  We broke up before spring break (I knew it was coming, there
wasn't much, if any, true love in our relationship).  On the way home from
college for spring break, I had to actively fight an overpowering urge to go
straight on one particular curve on Rt 15.  I began to think that women simply
were not for me.
    I spent most of spring break in deep thought; my parents were worried that
I was going slightly crazy since I seemed depressed the whole time (well, I was
depressed from all the heavy thinking I was doing).  I got back to college
after break and found this newsgroup, and things began to change.
    I decided to see once and for all if I was in fact a zoophile.
    Mark Matthews, if you ever read this, thank you for your mail.  If it
weren't for you, I don't think I would have had the courage to actually
physically go through with my visit to Wrangler and User@Large.
    One of these days, if I ever re-write it, I'll post a full description of
my week at Wrangler's ranch.  I had the whole thing on disk and it got eaten as
I moved things over to my new system *cry*.  Now I have to start all over.
    For those of you who don't know what a paradigm shift is, I'll briefly
describe one.  Remember the geocentric system of planetary motion?  The earth
was supposedly the center of the universe and all that stuff?  When the
heliocentric model came around, people didn't want to accept it because it
would mean that man was not as important in the grand scheme of things as it
was thought he was.  The changeover from a geo to a heliocentric model had
impacts far and wide, ranging from the obvious physical implications to
religion, art, and so on.  A paradigm shift is a change in viewpoint that has
very powerful and wide reaching effects.  If some god (we'll use Zeus for lack
of any other one to use) actually came into physical being, and was recognized
as a god through a demonstration of his powers, then the Christian belief would
undergo a paradigm shift.
    The second night I was at Wrangler's ranch, Wrangler came in around 10:00
or so (could have been later) and said that the horses were lying down outside,
and he suggested that I go out and lie down with them (not to have sex, just to
go out and lie down with them).  I did so, and as soon as I did, I underwent
probably the most intense and sudden paradigm shift that I have ever known, or
for that matter, probably ever will know.  I sat there, leaning up against her
side, my head on her chest, listening to her breathing.  The sky was perfectly
clear.  User@Large was there too (sorry, U, if I wasn't too talkative that
evening).  I could, for the first time in my life, see the actual edge of the
Milky Way clearly.  I knew, right then and there, without any form of sex with
an animal, that I was a zoophile.  The feelings that night inside me were the
most profound and indescribable feelings I have ever had.  No drug, no
happiness, nothing, could have produced those feelings again.  I still treasure
that moment with all my heart.
   You see, after that night, I began to view things differently.  When I went
out to the ranch, I figured that I would enjoy having sex with a mare, but I
also figured that I would decide that, while quite enjoyable, it would not be
for me.  I found out more than I bargined for.  Yes, the sex was wonderful, I
won't lie to you about that.  But it was far more than that!  Hell, I could
have been completely chaste (it would have been incredibly tough to do, but I
think I could have done so) and it wouldn't have mattered.  The fact is that I
love horses; I love them as a male heterosexual loves women.  It's that simple. 
Flame all you want, it shall hurt me not.  I am above you who frown upon me. 
While this may sound egotistical, it is nonetheless true.
    As for viewing things differently, I have, after much thought, come to the
following conclusion:  
          
    1.  Love is where one finds it.
    2.  Love may not be where one expects to find it.
    3.  Love may not be where society expects individuals to find it.
    4.  If it is true love, then no matter where it is found, then it is good.
 
    I have graduated from college and am working on my masters in applied
physics.  The first two non-grad people I met here are both homosexuals, and
they are two of the most open and understanding people I have ever met.  I have
told one of them about myself, and after I write this, I will go tell the other
one.  I don't judge people on their sexuality, beliefs, race, or anything else. 
I try not to judge at all.  If someone does something that upsets me, I try to
let them know about it.  If they don't change the way they act, I ignore them.
    For anyone who wants to flame, by all means do so.  If your angle of attack
is religious, so much the better.  Throw the whole Bible at me if you wish, I
do not care.  I have thrown off any form of organized christian religious
worship, and any 'bible thumping' would only serve to reaffirm my reasons for
leaving.  A protagonist cannot form a sound argument unless the antagonist
accepts the hypotheses of the argument as true.  I am starting to take up Wicca
instead, and though I do not yet know all its beliefs, I feel it is right for
me.
    My friends, that is my message, do what you feel is right with regards to
your religion, your sexuality, and your life.  I know someone out there is
going to say: "Well, I feel it is right to kill you, pervert!"  But before you
do, think to yourself.  Think: "Do I really feel that killing/persecuting
someone for the way they are is the right thing to do?"  I'm not asking what
your religion thinks in the previous question, I'm asking what you, as a human
being, think.  You'd be surprised how much morality is out there when religion
is treated as an independent variable.  I also know that there are some of you
out there reading this that will say "You're raping that horse!  Cruelty to
animals!"  All I have to say to you is that a good strong horse-kick is an
effective way of saying "no."  I will also mention that I have seen one horse
being scratched on the neck (taking care of itchy spots) by U@L who literally
turned around and backed into him!  Talk about consent!
    As for the anonymous listing, I use it because that is the only way I can
post on this board, and it makes me feel more comfortable.  I figure as soon as
I get up enough courage to simply say to the whole world "I am a zoophile,"
then I will put my real name on these posts.  People's views don't hurt me
anymore for the most part.
   As soon as I get out of grad school I intend to get a relatively decent job
and buy some rural land.  There I will start a small ranch/farm and keep some
horses.  I am sure I will marry a mare, and I will live my life the way I feel
is right.  And I will die happy.  How about you?
 
Tsaot Ablem / Saranthyrr Thristovar'ren
 
P.S.  Thank you very much for letting me visit, Wrangler, and thank you U@L for
being there.  Thank you Mark Matthews for giving me the courage to find all
this out.
 
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