79 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
79 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
Archive-name: Bestial/bearhunt.txt
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Archive-author:
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Archive-title: Bear Hunting
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A friend of mine, named Bill, decided he wanted to go bear hunting.
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A lot of stress at the office and such, so I told him I have a camp in the
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Poconos, in Pennsylvania. It's only a few hours outside New York and the bear
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hunting is absolutely fantastic.
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The next weekend he called me up and asked if he could retire to my
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cabin for the weekend. Naturally I ascented and I expected he would have a
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great time, little did I know just how good a time he would have.
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He didn`t need any hunting equipment because I kept a 12 gauge, and
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pleanty of gear in the cabin. He pulled in around 10 o`clock that night and
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from such a long day pretty near passed out on the cot layed beside the
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fire-place and woke up bright and early the next morning.
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Upon rising, he fixed himself a breakfast of cold oatmeal and sat out
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on the porch to watch the sun rise. After breakfast he set about getting
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ready for a good day of bear hunting. The gun was easy enough to find lyin'
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up across the mantle-piece and there was pleanty of ammo in a box set in the
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floor. So he loaded that gun up with 9 shells and put a handful of shells in
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his pocket and headed out for a day in the woods(no different story) hunting
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bear.
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He wasn't out for more than an hour and not even two miles into the
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hills near the cabin when what does he spot in the distance?, One primo bear
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specimen and a male by the looks of him. Without even given a thought to the
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idear of killing such a fine animal he pulls the gun up to his shoulder and
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pulls the trigger, letting go a whollip on that there bear. The bear fell.
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Well, ol' Bill couldn't believe it was that easy. He was quite a
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natural at this. He had a spring in his step as he approached the spot where
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he felled the beast. When he got there he was quite surprised to find that
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the bear was nowhere to be seen. He looked and looked but no bear, no blood,
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no nothing. Bill at that point had given up and was heading home when all
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of a sudden he got a tap on the shoulder. Well he spun around and what to his
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wondering eyes did appear but an 8 foot bear standing on his hind legs. Bill
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practically wet his pants.
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"You know I could kill you right know you stupid son-of-a-bitch", the
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bear said. Bill did wet his pants.
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"I got a soft side in me though and I'll make you a deal...", bill
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pondered this for a moment,"You've got to suck my dick if you want to get out
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of here alive and then I never want to see you in this part of the forest again
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."
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What was Bill to do? So he consented. He got down by the towering
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beast's hairy prick, which was already erect and out of its sheath. He had
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never given anyone a blow-job before but having had it done on him a number of
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times he got the hang of it. When the bear blew his load Bill was so disgusted
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, he nearly hurled, and let the ghizm run down his face as he jerked the bear
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the rest of the way off. Bill headed home in disgust. That fucking bear made
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the biggest fool of him. If it was the last thing he did he was going to kill
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that bear.
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That afternoon, he headed back out into the woods in full camoflauge
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determined to bag that bear. He was almost to the same place he was before
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when all of a sudden there he was in nearly the exact same location he was not
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a few hours ago. There he was, yep, same damn bear! He follwed him for a
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while along the length of the gun barrel before he leveled him. Pow!, down
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he went with a thump. This time he even heard the thump. He was very careful
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as he approached holding the gun out in front of him prepared to finish him
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off if he dared to still be breathing.
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When he reached the clearing he was nowhere to be found. Bill started
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cursing. Then all of a sudden he received a gentle tap on the shoulder.
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"Still didn't learn did you?"
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"Well you know I could kill you but I'm a lonely bear"
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He just whipped out his salami and waited for Bill to do his business.
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This time however, the bear made him swallow.
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On the way home Bill dreamed of how he would mount that bear's head
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on his wall at home. He didn't even wait to get home before he headed back
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to get even with that bastard. He went back to the same site, expecting the
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stupid bear to be in the same place. Sure enough, there he was, just waiting
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to have his brain's blown out. Like clockworks, the gunfire ricochets off
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the forest and the bear falls. Bill reaches the place and,....tap,tap.
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"Tell me the truth, you didn't come out here to hunt bear did you?"
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Since then Bill's been up there every weekend. Hasn't shot anything,
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but he claims to be haven a mighty good time.
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