146 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
146 lines
8.0 KiB
Plaintext
Ten Ways to Kill a Citizen Movement
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by Byron Kennard
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[ARRS Administrator Note: Some humor-impaired readers have misinterpreted this
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article as a game plan for destroying a movement. In fact, it is obviously a
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tongue-in-cheek description of what not to do if you want a movement to be
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successful. We all know of instances of the behavior below that has led,
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unfortunately, to our efforts in AR being less successful than we might hope. By
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being aware of these "killers", we can avoid them in our own movements.]
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As a veteran community organizer, I know a lot about how to start citizen
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movements, but only recently did it occur to me that I probably know just as
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much about how to bump them off. All I have to do is count my battle-scars and
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recall how I got most of them. If my experience is any guide, far more people
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are driven out of citizen movements by their own dear brothers and sisters in
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the cause than by all the shenannigans of the enemy put together.
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Friendly Fire on the Social Change Front
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Here's how it works. Suppose you want to kill a citizen movement and you come to
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me for expert advice. I would suggest first that you join it and then proceed to
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follow these ten basic, simple rules, any one of which will drain the vitality
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out of a movement faster than you can say Ronald Reagan.
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1. Forget your origins
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Citizen movements for social change nearly always originate in humble, obscure,
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or disreputable circumstances. Think of the Wobblies, the early labor
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organizers, who were jailed, deported, or even massacred for their opposition to
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industrial abuses. Think of Rosa Parks refusing to take a seat in the back of
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the bus. Think of the bra-burners who endured derision and scorn to help launch
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the feminist movement, or of the housewives who chained themselves to trees
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rather than allow the trees to be bulldozed. Later on, when the movement is off
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the ground and running, these origins become embarrassing to the careerists who
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have latched onto it in search of gold and glory. At this point it becomes
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necessary to rewrite history in order to drop the identity of the movement's
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founders down the memory hole.
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It is said that revolutions eat their fathers. Citizen movements do something
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rather worse: they forget their mothers. The revolutionary who gets beheaded is
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at least memorialized by history, but you can plow through most history books
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without finding a clue to the identity of the small bands of volunteer activists
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-- usually women, in my experience -- who initiate needed social change.
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2. Put experts in the driver's seat
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Volunteers and generalists may have been good enough to organize the movement,
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but they aren't good enough to run it. So when the money starts to come in, it's
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time to kick the volunteers and generalists out and to hire "qualified" persons,
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preferably someone with a Ph.D in physics, economics, or an Ivy League law
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degree. (Please note: It is extremely important that such persons be untainted
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by any direct experience in community organizing. If you have a plethora of
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applicants, it may be necessary to employ this test. Put each of the applicants
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into a paper sack. Only those who cannot organize their way out of it will be
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eligible for employment.)
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3. Get serious about your work
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I mean, real serious. Work too hard. Put in extremely long hours. Practice
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looking grim and depressed. If possible, grow morbid. When you have mastered all
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this, persist in calling your colleagues' attention to the fact of your
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martyrdom. Broadly hint that if they were as serious as you, they would emulate
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your example. If this doesn't make them feel sufficiently bad, you might want to
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go a step further and physically maim yourself. For example, you might shoot
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yourself in the foot. Screaming in pain, you then demand that your colleagues
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drop whatever they are doing and rush to aid and comfort you as you suffer from
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this needless and self-inflicted wound.
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4. Motivate others by applying guilt
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If a group is working to save endangered species, attack it for its
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insensitivity to the poor. If they are working to help the poor, attack them for
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their insensitivity to endangered species. Whatever you do, stick them in a
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no-win situation. Once they perceive that their work is futile, they will, of
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course, redouble their efforts.
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5. Adopt impossibly high and rigid standards of personal conduct, not only for
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yourself, but for others, too.
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Human frailty has no place in a citizen movement. Whenever it rears its ugly
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head, you must be prepared to smash it to smithereens. Even slight deviations
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from your standards must not escape punishment. If, for example, you catch a
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nutrition activist eating a hot-dog in a fast-food restaurant, condemn him on
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the spot for the Judas he is (neglecting, of course, to mention that you popped
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in to buy a pack of cigarettes).
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6.Talk a lot about the need to cooperate and to share, but for heaven's sake,
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don't actually do it.
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What you should actually do is attempt to dominate all proceedings through the
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force of your intellect and personality. However, should you encounter other
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persons who are foolish enough really to cooperate and share, by all means, take
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them for everything they're worth.
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7. Get yourself into a dither and stay there
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Become over-excited. Remember, the end of the world is coming and we haven't got
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much time. Thus, to demonstrate dedication, everybody should run about like a
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chicken with its head cut off. If some people in the movement are striving to
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work calmly and deliberately, making them agitated and anxious should become
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your priority task.
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8. Whatever you do, never share any credit.
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Look, it's perfectly clear that the whole thing was your idea in the first
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place. And nobody, living or dead, contributed anything to you. So why should
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you share the credit? If, through some miscarriage of justice, other people in
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the movement begin receiving credit, try to grab it from them. Or try spreading
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the word that they don't really deserve it. If these techniques don't work, fly
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into a sick rage and kick nearby objects or people. (Please note: Regrettably,
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there's no guarantee that these techniques will actually divert recognition away
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from others and toward yourself. However, such techniques are almost certain to
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detract from what pride and joy the recognition might give those receiving it.
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This is a small pleasure to be sure, but by this time you will have learned not
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to sneeze at small things.
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9. Remember that intensity of commitment is best measured by the amount of
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incivility you display.
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Here again, little things mean a lot. For example, you should never be on time
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to meetings. But when you do arrive, be sure to get interrupted by telephone
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calls at least once every five minutes. The rest of the time should be consumed
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by your talking as loudly as possible in accusatory tones. The thrust of your
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comments should never vary. Again and again you must make clear that both the
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truth and the democratic process will be endangered unless you get your way.
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Throw a wild card into each agenda and insist that old questions which have
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previously been resolved be re-opened. Having made these comments, leave the
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meeting early without helping to clean up the coffee cups or put the room in
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order. Now these are fine points, I know, but if you are going to kill off a
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social movement, you might as well do it in style.
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10. Lastly, you must avoid doing any real work for the movement, while creating
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the widespread impression that you are giving your all.
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Scrupulous fulfillment of these ten rules will demand all your time and energy,
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so none will be left to fulfill any duties to the movement. But don't let this
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stop you from assuming as much responsibility as you can get. Insist on being
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part of everything. If possible, try to be put in charge. Then take care not to
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deliver on any of your commitments. Should others have the gall to point out the
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discrepancy between your responsibility and your performance, observe in hushed
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and sorrowful tones how painful and demoralizing this is to you, especially
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after all you've done. Then nail them to the wall by asking the key question:
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Don't they realize that we've all got to stick together?
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