50 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
Uploaded By: PRIVATE PIRATE
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[SAFEHOUSE: 612/724-7066 - SPACE QUITS]
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DATE: 27 JULY 1981 0535-EDT (MONDAY)
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FROM: MICHAEL.SHAMOS AT CMU-10A
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TO: HUMAN-NETS
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RE: ORGANIZATION OF MOSCOW PHONE BOOK
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WHILE JERRY POURNELLE WAS QUITE RIGHT THAT TELEPHONE SERVICE IN MOSCOW IS
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EGREGIOUS (NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT LINES BEING TAPPED -- THE PARTIES THEMSELVES
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CAN'T EVEN HEAR EACH OTHER!) WE MIGHT STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN FROM THE
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WAY IN WHICH THEIR TELEPHONE DIRECTORY IS ORGANIZED.
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THE MOSCOW PHONE BOOK IS AN INFORMATION SCIENCE CURIOSITY. IT IS BOTH
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LUDICROUS AND PROFOUND. YOU CAN'T LOOK UP ANY PEOPLE IN IT; NOT A SINGLE
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PROPER NAME IS LISTED IN THE 600-PAGE VOLUME EVEN THOUGH ITS OFFICIAL TITLE IS
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"LIST OF SUBSCRIBERS TO THE MOSCOW CITY TELEPHONE NETWORK". HOWEVER, YOU CAN
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FIND THE NEAREST DRUGSTORE TO YOU FAR FASTER THAN YOU CAN BY USING OUR YELLOW
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PAGES. THE SECRET IS THAT THE STRUCTURE IS BOTH ORGANIZATIONAL AND
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GEOGRAPHICAL. THE ENTIRE BOOK IS A HIERARCHIAL OUTLINE OF THE ENTIRE
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GOVERNMENT (WHICH IN RUSSIA IS ALL THERE IS) REMINISCENT OF US GOVERNMENT
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TELEPHONE BOOKS. (YOU CAN PICK UP THE PENTAGON DIRECTORY FOR A FEW BUCKS AT
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ANY GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE BOOKSTORE; IT'S WELL WORTH IT FOR THE INSIGHT IT
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AFFORDS INTO THE STRUCTURE OF DOD.)
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THE FIRST NUMBER IN THE BOOK IS FOR THE PRESIDIUM OF THE SUPREME SOVIET; THE
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SECOND IS FOR THE COUNCIL OF MINISTERS, AND SO FORTH DOWN THE GOVERNMENT LADDER
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TO THE LAST ENTRY, WHICH IS FOR CITY LAUNDROMAT NO. 32, AT 26 YASNII PROSPEKI
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(I KID YOU NOT.) THE KGB IS THE 15TH ENTRY; IT'S PHONE NUMBER IS 221 07 62. A
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PARENTHETICAL NOTE TELLS US THAT THE NUMBER ANSWERS 24 HOURS A DAY. YOU CAN
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IMMEDIATELY TELL THE IMPORTANCE OF AN ORGANIZATION BY WHAT PAGE IT IS LISTED
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ON.
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THE GEOGRAPHIC INFORMATION IS DIVERSE. POLICE STATIONS ARE NUMBERED BY
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PRECINCT AND LISTED IN NUMERICAL ORDER. FOOD STORES ARE LISTED BY STREET AND
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BY HOUSE NUMbEM WITHIN [TiEET. VERY LITTLE OF ANYTHING IN MOSCOW HAS A NAME;
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THE NUMBERING IS CARRIED TO EXTREMES BY US STANDARDS -- THERE ARE 2,020 KINDER-
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GARTENS IN MOSCOW AND THEY ARE ALL LISTED IN THE PHONE BOOK IN NUMERICAL ORDER.
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A SECTION AT THE END OF THE BOOK CONTAINS SEVERAL DOZEN REGULATIONS GOVERNING
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TELEPHONE USE; THE FIRST OF THESE IS THAT NO CALL MAY LAST LONGER THAN TWO
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MINUTES. TRIVIA: THE NUMBER OF THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS 01, POLICE 02, FIRST
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AID 03 AND MOSGAZ (THE GAS "COMPANY") 04. "TIME" IS KNOWN AS THE "TALKING
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CLOCK" AND ITS N(BER IS 100. FOREIGN EMBASSIES ARE NOT LISTED. THE BOOK IS A
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MARVEL AND IS A BEST- SELLER. (IT'S HARD-BOUND AND IS NOT FREE.) YOU CAN
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REALLY WONDER WHAT THEY DID BEFORE 1975, THE YEAR IN WHICH THE PHONE BOOK WAS
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FIRST PUBLISHED!
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