87 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
87 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
Inter-Office Heirarchy
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Office Heirarchy
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Typed by Bungalow Bill
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Taken from The Phone Book by J. Edward Hyde
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One night a few years back, a Phone Company vice-president attempted to
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place a long distance person-to-person call from his home and found out
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just how frustrating dealing with his company can be.
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"This is the operator. Anything I can help you with?" Her voice was
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raspy. Apparently she was having a bad night.
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The vice-president and general manager gave her all the necesary
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information she needed to complete his call.
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"Could you give all that to me again, a little bit slower this time?"
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So he did, but the exasperation was plainly evident in his voice.
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"Did you know that you can dial this call yourself?"
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He replied that he did, but that he wanted her to do it for him.
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"Anything you say. But you'd save a lot of money if you dialed it
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yourself."
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He repeated that he wanted her to dial it for him.
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"Some people never learn."
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She probably didn't mean for him to hear her last remark, but he did and
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demanded to know her name. He threatened to have her head on a tray.
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Finally he even told her who she was speaking to. And once again, he
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demanded that she give him her name.
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"Wouldn't you like to know." With that, the line went dead.
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It's comforting to know that other people, even phone company
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executives, catch hell every now and then, just like we do. And this
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illustration illuminates one of the evils of the telephone that obscene
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callers have known about for years. The total anonymity of it all. If an
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operator or a service rep or a plant man feels like it, he or she can
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roast you verbally and there's very little you can do about it. True
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enough, such blatant discourtesy is rare, but it does happen, and there
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are ways you can retaliate and get satisfaction.
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If an operator is not everything you think she should be, immediatly ask
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to speak to her S.A. The service assistant is a non management person who
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mediates disputes between operators in her group, helps with dialing
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problems, and distributes the "mark sense" tickets, the computer cards
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operators use to keep a record of each long distance call they handle.
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The S.A. has no real authority, but she takes a lot of the load off the
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person who does, the group chief operator. To an operator, the group
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chief is a mother figure, ally, and symbol of the all-powerful company
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all rolled into one. The group chief has the power of life and death in
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her kingdom, and a demand for an audience with her from an unhappy
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customer brings an unruly operator's heart to her throat. You may not get
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the privilage of actually talking to a group chief, that's what the S.A.
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is for, but the mere knowledge that you know that there is such an animal
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can straighten out the most obdurate operator.
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Service reps generally don't give the customers a hard time for two very
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good reasons. 1. They have to give you their name before the conversation
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begins, and 2. the call itself is often bugged. Three hundred and
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sixty-four days a year, you will seldom hear a disrespectful word from
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your service rep. But on December 24, the service observers usually go
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home early. It's generally the slowest day of the year, and no holds are
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barred. If you give the service rep a hard time, she's got a whole year's
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worth of frustration to take out on you. If you happen to get a harpy,
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demand to speak to her B.O.S. The Buisness Office Supervisor will
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generally stand behind her "girls," but in unusual cases she can and will
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have the offending service rep tarred and feathered.
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The men you most often see are the linemen, the gallant knights of the
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Phone Kingdom. And there's a very good reason for their nobility: they're
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right up there where you can hit them if they give you trouble. Usually
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the only time a lineman will give you trouble is after your dog has
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mangled his leg. If you should have a problem with him, the installation
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foreman is the person to talk to. The installation foreman is what the
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group chief and the B.O.S. are to their respective sets. If you have
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reason to suspect that this person may not be from the Phone Company, ask
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to see his I.D. card. It has his picture on it, his signature, and the
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company logo.
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In a summary, it's not what you threaten to do, it's whom you threaten
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to talk to that gives you an edge. The Phone Company has a jargon all
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it's own, and the use of it by a mere mortal suggests that you know the
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ropes.
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By the same token, there are times when the phone people really put it
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together and do an ouytstanding job. At times like that, it never hurts
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to put in a good word for the excellent service rendered. The word will
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get around, and you'll be surprised how well you'll be taken care of in
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the future.
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Ok kids, that's all there is. Next time you're trying to social engineer,
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maybe pull a few of these and see who you get in touch with.
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