130 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
130 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
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: THE LAYMAN'S GUIDE :
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: TO :
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: FEDERAL AGENCIES :
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: Written by: Mr. Xerox of :
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: :
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:(*)- The *ELITE* Phreaker's Club -(*):
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CIA: STANDS FOR CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY. THIS GROUP IS RESPONSIBLE FOR
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INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE GATHERING, AS WELL AS THE SPREAD OF DEMOCRACY, EVEN
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IF THEY HAVE TO SHOVE IT DOWN THEIR THROATS...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (703) 351-1000 NEW YORK CITY (212) 755-0027
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CHICAGO (312) 353-2980 LOS ANGELOS (213) 622-6875
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BOSTON (617) 354-5965 MIAMI (305) 445-3658
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HOUSTON (713) 229-2739 ST. LOUIS (314) 621-6902
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DON'T ASK ME WHAT THEY NEED OFFICES IN THE U.S. FOR...
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DOD: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE THESE ARE THE BOYS WHO RENT OFFICE
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SPACE IN THE PENTAGON... THEY ARE THE ARMED FORCES, HERE TO PROTECT US FROM THE
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VILE ARMIES OF OTHER NATIONS...
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PENTAGON (202) 545-6700
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DARPA: STANDS FOR DEFENSE ADVANCED RESEARCH PROJECTS AGENCY. THESE ARE THE
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BOYS WHO MAKE WEAPONS FOR THE MILITARY. THEY ARE VERY UP ON PARTICLE BEAM
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WEAPONS, LASERS, MISSLE TRACKING, AND EVEN BIOCYBERNETICS (THE DIRECT
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INTERFACING OF MAN AND MACHINE- IMAGING HACKING AS FAST AS YOU CAN THINK ABOUT
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IT... THIS HAS POTENTIAL).
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ARLINGTON, VA (202) 694-3007
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NSA: STANDS FOR NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY. THESE ARE THE BRAIN BOYS, THE
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THINK TANKS FOR THE THE MILITARY. IF YOU HAVE NIGHTMARES, THESE PEOPLE ARE THE
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ONES WHO SHOULD BE STARRING. THEY ARE THE GOVT. COMPUTER AND TELECOM EXPERTS.
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(301) 688-6311
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DOJ: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE THIS IS THE COURT SYSTEM, HOWEVER I DO
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NOT AGREE WITH THEIR IDEA OF JUSTICE (WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM A MAN WHO THINKS
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G. GORDON LIDDY IS COOL?).
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-2000
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FBI: STANDS FOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS. THESE ARE THE NOSY PEOPLE
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IN THE WORLD WHO BUST IN DOORS. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, MOST OF THEM KNOW NOTHING
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ABOUT WHAT THEY DO SINCE THEIR COLLEGE DEGREES ARE IN ECONOMICS AND ACCOUNTING
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AND THE LIKE. FRANKLY, THESE GUYS DON'T SCARE ME... THEY ARE PRETTY DUMB, AND
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ARE TOTALLY OUT OF THEIR CLASS WHEN IT COMES TO COMPUTERS.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 324-3000
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(A SIDE NOTE: LOOK AT A TOUCH TONE PAD. 324 EITHER SPELLS 'FBI' OR 'FAG'. I
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WONDER IF SOMEONE IN THE TELCO HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR?)
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DEA: STANDS FOR DRUG ENFORCEMENT AGENCY. IF YOU WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND
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THEIR IS SOMEONE DIGGING IN YOUR 'GARDEN' IT IS THEM. THEY DON'T LIKE YOU TO
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ENJOY YOURSELF, OR ENGAGE IN A LITTLE RECREATIONAL SOARING...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 633-1249
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DOS: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF STATE. WHEN YOU HACK THE RUSSIAN COMPUTER,
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THEY AREN'T PLEASED, ONE OF TWO GROUPS WILL KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR. THE TELCO OR
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THE STATE DEPARTMENT. THE KGB JUST THINKS THIS A GROUP OF GUYS WHO ARE VERY
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GOOD LIARS AND VERY GOOD AT READING PEOPLE. THEY KEEP WATCH FROM THE EMBASSY...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 655-4000
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DOT: STANDS FOR DEPARTMENT OF TREASURY THROW AWAY THE COLOR XEROX MACHINE
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WHEN THESE PEOPLE KNOCK, SINCE THEY DON'T LIKE YOU PASSING BAD BILLS. THEY KEEP
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TRACK AND PRINT ALL THE MONEY IN THE COUNTRY (EXCEPT FOR A FEW FRIENDS OF MINE
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WHO...)
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-2000
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SECRET SERVICE: FOR THE MOST PART, THE SECRET SERVICE PROTECTS THE PRESIDENT
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(THAT'S WHY WE HAVE LOST A FEW), GRABS COUNTERFEITERS, AND USED TO BUST
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MOBSTERS.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 535-5708
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(NOTE: DO THE INITIALS 'SS' MEAN MUCH TO THOSE OF YOU UP ON THE NAZIS????)
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BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS: FRANKLY, I COULD DO WITHOUT THESE
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DO-GOODERS. THEY ENFORCE ALL LAWS PERTAINING TO ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, AND FIREARMS
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(IF IT WASN'T OBVIOUS).
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-7511
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IRS: STANDS FOR INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. ARG! THE TAX MAN! THE ONLY THING
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IS, THEIR COMPUTER WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE HACK. THINK ABOUT IT...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (202) 566-5000
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THIS FILE IS A PUBLIC SERVICE PROVIDED BY THE LEADER OF THE KNIGHTS OF SHADOW
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NOW A MEMBER OF THE *ELITE* PHEAKER'S! THE GOVERNMENT IS A PUBLIC SERVICE
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PROVIDING FOR ITSELF...
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>1984
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[>Downloaded from The World of Cryton<] [414] 462-8978 *ELITE* Phreaker's Club]
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