106 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
106 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ÚÙÛÛÛÛÛÀ¿ ³
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ÀþþþþþþþÙ Û ³
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þþþþþþþ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³
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ÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Ûß ³
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Û Û ÛÛ Û ÜÛÛ Û ßÛ ³
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ÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³
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ÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û ³
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ Û ³
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Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³
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ÛÛ ÜÜßÛÛ ÛÛ Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ³
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ÛÛß ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ³
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ÛÛ ÛÛ ³
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ÛßßÛßßÛ ³
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÛÛ0ÛÛÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ Û Û ÛÜ Û Û Û ÛÜ ÜÛ Û ßßÛßß Ûßßßß ÛßßßÜ ³ÛÛÛÛÛ³
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ÀÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÄÄÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÙÛÛÛÛÛÀ¿
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ÛÜÜÜÛ Û ßÛ ÛÜÜÜ Û Û ß Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÛÜÜÜß ÀþþþþþþþÙ
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þþþþþþþ
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***** Presents *****
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Phun With TV Evangelists
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Written by: The KneeKap
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Co-Written by: Calfyow
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Lick-Me Enterprises (c) 1991 Written: 4/30/91
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Ever watch one of those Christian channels like channel 38 in
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the Chicago land area? They're often quite amusing and the
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possibilities for phucking with them are endless. For instance..
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Some day when you are really bored and have nothing to do try
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this:
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Half the time one of these Christian channels are going to be
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running one of their telethons to "keep the faith alive".
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Personally, I think it's a bunch of bull and the executives
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there are trying to make some money by exploiting the faith of
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the incompetent viewer. So if you are bored call up the number
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they flash in your face and pledge something in the area of
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1,000+. This always gets the singers and the telephone operators
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and the dork preaching really horny. For instance, try something
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like this conversation below..
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Operator: Hello! Bless you for calling the channel 38 telethon.
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How may I help you in you today?
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Caller: Praise the lord! I watch your station every time I get
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a chance to. My children just love your after school
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progamming. I happen to be very financially secure and
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I have been smiled upon by God and I feel I must donate
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a large amount to keep the faith alive. I want to
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donate $1000 a month for the next 20 months.
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(and now the operator now trying to be modest says...)
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Operator: Praise you! You are truly blessed! You want to donate
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$25 a month for the next two months??
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Caller: No! I want to donate $1000 a month for the next 20
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months.
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(now the operator gets horny...)
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Operator: Oh... OH! $1000 a month! OK.. So that's $1000 a month
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for the next 20 months... (long pause)... THAT'S $20,000!
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Caller: Yeah
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Operator: Praise the Lord! (and a bunch of bullshit like
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that).. Now, may I take your name?
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Caller: Yes, my name is Henry Bullshit.
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Operator: And what is your address?
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Caller: 666 Bullshit Ln., Highland Park
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Operator: And what is your zip code?
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Caller: 60508
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Operator: And what is your phone number? Area code first
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please.
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Caller: (708) 433-3961
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(and I suggest calling and asking for Dr. Bernard Schneider...
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that's the poor shmuck we used as a victim...)
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And then a lot of religious bullshit (we use that word a lot don't
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we?) ensued and finally we got off the phone. And if you happen
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to be lucky they'll be broadcasting live and everyone on the set
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will be horny with joy.
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A few pointers.. Before you do this get out a phone book and
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pick a name (victim) that you will use to talk to the operator..
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Write it down and get it so you sound natural.. This way they'll
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buy it and then you can have a laugh knowing you have sone
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another pathetic phone crank.
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