494 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
494 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
' T H E C A M I L L A G A T E T A P E S '
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Full Transcript of a telephone conversation between Prince Charles and
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Camilla Parker Bowles the 45 year old wife of a bridadier.
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The six minute bedtime conversation is said to be recorded by a scanner user
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on December 18th 1989. There are also reports that infact the conversation
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was recorded by MI5 at GCHQ and re-broadcasted several times in the hope
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a scanner user would record it and leak it to the papers. There is also
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reports that infact 27 other similar tapes exist in the MI5 vaults.
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First published in an Australia Magazine 'New idea' and then followed by press
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in Germany, America, Italy, Switzerland and Ireland. It was then published
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in the Daily Sport circulation 210,000 and Kent Today Circulation 34,000.
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It was also widely faxed from machine to machine in the House of Commons,
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Business centres and in the civil service around the U.K including the
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security services of course.
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Finally two major newspapers the Sunday Mirror and Sunday People printed in
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it full on 17th January 1993 making it available to the millions.
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Now it's available to you for no charge, See what you think.
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The tape begins a small way though the conversation and lasts six minutes
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until Charles hangs the phone up.
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Charles: He was a bit anxious actually
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Camilla: Was he?
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Charles: He thought he might of gone too far.
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Camilla: Ah well.
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Charles: Anyway you know that's the sort of thing one has to beware of. And
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sort of feel one's way along with - if you know what I mean.
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Camilla: Mmmm. You're awfully good feeling your way along.
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Charles: Oh Stop! I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and
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down you and in and out...
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Camilla: Oh!
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Charles: Particularly in and out!
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Camilla: Oh. that's just what I need at the moment.
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Charles: Is it?
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At this point the scanner enthusiast speaks over the couple to record the
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date
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Scanner Enthusiast: December 18th
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Camilla: I know it would revive me. I can't bear a Sunday night without you.
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Charles: Oh, God.
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Camilla: It's like that programme Start the Week. I can't start the week without you.
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Charles: I fill up your tank!
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Camilla: Yes, you do
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Charles: Then you can cope.
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Camilla: Then I'm all right
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Charles: What about me? The trouble is I need you several times a week.
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Camilla: Mmmm, so do I. I need you all the week. All the time.
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Charles: Oh. God. I'll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be
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much easier!
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Camilla: (laughing) "what are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers?
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Both laugh
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Camilla: Oh, You're your'e going to come back as a pair of knickers.
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Charles: Or, God forbid a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)
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Camilla: You are a complete idiot (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.
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Charles: My luck to be chucked down the lavatory and go on and on forever
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swirling round on the top, never going down.
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Camilla: (Laughing) Oh, Darling!
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Charles: Until the next one comes through.
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Camilla: Oh, perhaps you could come back as a box.
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Charles: What sort of box?
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Camilla: A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.
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Charles: That's true.
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Camilla: Repeating yourself...(Laughing) Oh, darling I just want you now.
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Charles: Do You?
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Camilla: Mmmmm
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Charles: So do I!
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Camilla: Desperately, desperately. Oh, I thought of you so much at Yaraby.
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Charles: Did you?
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Camilla: Simply mean we couldn't be there together.
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Charles: Desperate. If you could be here - I long to ask Nancy sometimes.
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Camilla: Why don't you?
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Charles: I daren't
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Camilla: Because I think she's in love with you.
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Charles: Mmm.
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Camilla: She'd do anything you asked.
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Charles: She'd tell all sorts of people.
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Camilla: No, she wouldn't because she'd be much too frightened of what
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you might say to her. I think you've got - I'm afraid it's a
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terrible thing to say - but I think , you know, those sort of people
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do feel very strongly about you. You've got such a hold over her.
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Charles: Really?
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Camilla: And you're..... I think, as usual, you're underestimating yourself.
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Charles: But she might be terribly jealous or something.
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Camilla: Oh! (Laughs) Now that's a point! I wonder, she might be, I suppose.
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Charles: You never know, do you?
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Camilla: No, The little green eyed monster might be lurking inside her. No,
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But I mean the thing is your'e so good when people are so flattered
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to be taken into your confidence, but I don't know they'd betray
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you. You know, real friends.
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Charles: Really?
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Camilla: I don't (Pause)
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Camilla: Gone to sleep?
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Charles: No, I'm here.
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Camilla: Darling, listen I talked to David tonight again. It might not be
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any good.
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Charles: Oh, no!!
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Camilla: I'll tell you why. He's got these children of one of those Crawley
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girls and their nanny staying. He's going. I'm going to ring him
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again tomorrow. He's going to try and out them off till Friday. But
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as an alternative, perhaps I might ring up Charlie.
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Charles: Yes
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Camilla: And see if we could do it there. I know he is back on Thursday.
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Charles: It's quite a lot further away.
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Camilla: Oh, is it?
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Charles: Well, I'm just trying to think. coming from Newmarket.
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Camilla: Coming from Newmarket to me at that time of night, you could
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probably do it in two and three quarters, It takes me three.
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Charles: What to go to, Um, Bowood?
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Camilla: Northmore.
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Charles: To go to Bowood?
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Camilla: To go to Bowood would be the same as the same as me really,
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wouldn't it?
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Charles: I mean to say, you would suggest going to Bowood, uh?
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Camilla: No, not at all.
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Charles: Which Charlie then?
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Camilla: What Charlie do you think I was talking about?
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Charles: I didn't know, because I thought you meant.....
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Camilla: I've got lots....
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Charles: Somebody else.
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Camilla: I've got lots of friends called Charlie.
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Charles: The other one, Patty's.
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Camilla: Oh! Oh!, There! Oh that is further away. They're not....
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Charles: They've gone.....
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Camilla: I don' know. it's just, you know, just a thought I had,
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If it fell through, the other place.
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Charles: Oh, Right. What do you do? Go on the M25 then down the M4 is it?
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Camilla: Yes, you go, um, and sort of Royston or M11, at that time of night.
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Charles: Yes, well, that'll be just after shooting anyway.
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Camilla: So it would be, um, you'd miss the worst of the traffic. Because
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I'll er.... You see the problem is I've got to be in London
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tomorrow night.
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Charles: Yes
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Camilla: Would you believe it? Because, I don't know what he's doing. He's
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shooting down here or something. but, darling, you wouldn't be able
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to ring me anyway, would you?
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Charles: I might just, I mean, tomorrow night I could have done.
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Camilla: Oh Darling, I can't bear it. How could you have done tomorrow night?
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Charles: Because I'll be (Yawns) working on the next speech.
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Camilla: Oh no, what's the next one?
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Charles: A Business in The Community one, rebuilding communities
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Camilla: Oh no, when's that for?
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Charles: A rather important one for Wednesday.
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Camilla: Well at least I'll be behind you.
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Charles: I know.
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Camilla: Can I have a copy of the one you've just done?
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Charles: Yes
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Camilla: Can I? um, I would like it.
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Charles: OK, I'll try and organize it.
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Camilla: Darling
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Charles: But I, oh God, when am I going to speak to you?
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Camilla: I can't bear it... Umm.......
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Charles: Wednesday night?
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Camilla: Oh, certainly Wednesday night. I'll be alone, um, Wednesday,
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you know, the evening. Or Tuesday. while you're rushing around doing
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things I'll be, you know, alone until it reappears.
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And early Wednesday morning, I mean, he'll be leaving at half past
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eight, quarter past eight. he won't be here Thursday, pray God. Um,
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that ambulance strike, it's a terrible thing to say this, I suppose
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it won't have come to an end by Thursday,
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Charles: It will have done?
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Camilla: Well, I mean I hope for everybody's sake it will have done, but I
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hope for our sakes it's still going on.
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Charles: Why?
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Camilla: Well, because if it stops he'll come down here on Thursday night.
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Charles: Oh no.
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Camilla: Yes, but I don't think it will stop, do you?
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Charles: No, neither do I. just our luck.
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Camilla: It just would be our luck, I know.
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Charles: Then it's bound to.
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Camilla: No it won't. You mustn't think like that. You must think positive.
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Charles: I'm not very good at that.
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Camilla: Well I'm going to. Because if I don't, I'd despair. (Pause)
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Hmmm - gone to sleep?
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Charles: No, How maddening.
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Camilla: I know, Anyway, I mean he's doing his best to change it, David .
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But I just thought, you know, I might ask Charlie.
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Charles: Did he say anything?
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Camilla: No, I hav'nt talked to him.
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Charles: You havn't?
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Camilla: Well I talked to him briefly, but you know, I just thought I -
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I just don't know whether he's got any children at home, that's the
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worry.
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Charles: Right.
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Camilla: Oh, Darling. I think I'll .............
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Charles: Pray just Pray.
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Camilla: It would be so wonderful to have just one night to set us on our
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way, wouldn't it?
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Charles: Wouldn't it? To wish you a Happy Christmas.
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Camilla: (Indistinct) Happy. Oh, don't let's think about Christmas. I can't
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bear it. (Pause) Going to go to sleep ? I think you'd better,
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don't you darling?
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Charles: (Sleepy) Yes, Darling?
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Camilla: Will you ring me when you wake up?
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Charles: Yes I will.
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Camilla: Before I have these rampaging children around. It's Tom's birthday
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tomorrow. (Pause) You all right?
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Charles: Mmm. I'm all right.
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Camilla: Can I talk to you, I hope, before those rampaging children....
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Charles: What time do they come in?
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Camilla: Well usually Tom never wakes up at all, but as it's his birthday
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tomorrow he might just stagger out of bed. It won't be before half
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past eight. (Pause) Night, night, my darling.
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Charles: Darling.....
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Camilla: I do love you.
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Charles: (Sleepily) Before...
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Camilla: Before half past eight.
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Charles: Try and ring?
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Camilla: Yeah, if you can. Love you darling.
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Charles: Night, Darling
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Camilla: I love you.
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Charles: I love you too. I don't want to say goodbye.
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Camilla: Well done for doing that. You're a clever old thing.
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An awfully good brain lurking there, isn't there? Oh, darling, I
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think you ought to give the brain a rest now. Night, Night.
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Charles: Night darling, God bless.
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Camilla: I do love you and I'm so proud of you.
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Charles: Oh, I'm so proud of you.
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Camilla: Don't be silly. I've never achieved anything.
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Charles: You're greatest achievement is to love me.
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Camilla: Oh, darling easier than falling off a chair.
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Charles: You suffer all these indignities and tortures and calumnies.
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Camilla: Oh, darling don't be so silly I'd suffer anything for you. That's
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love. It's the strength of love. Night, night.
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Charles: Night darling. Sounds if you're dragging an enormous piece of string
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behind you, with hundreds of tin pots and cans attached to it. Night
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night, before the battery goes. (Blows kiss) Night.
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Camilla: Love you.
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Charles: Don't want to say goodbye.
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Camilla: Neither do I, but you must get some sleep, Bye.
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Charles: Bye, darling.
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Camilla: Love you.
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Charles: Bye.
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Camilla: Hopefully talk to you in the morning.
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Charles: Please.
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Camilla: Bye, I do love you.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Night.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Love you forever
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Charles: night.
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Camilla: G'bye. bye my darling.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Night, night.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Bye bye.
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Charles: Going.
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Camilla: Gone.
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Charles: Going.
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Camilla: Gone
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Bye, Press the button.
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Charles: Going to press the tit.
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Camilla: All right darling, I wish you were pressing mine.
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Charles: God, I wish I was, Harder and harder.
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Camilla: Oh, darling.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: Night.
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Charles: Love you.
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Camilla: (Yawning) Love you. Press the tit.
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Charles: Adore you. Night.
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Camilla: Night.
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: (Blows a kiss)
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Charles: Night.
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Camilla: G'night my darling, Love you.
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Charles then finally hangs up the phone....
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Well what do you think of all that?
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I'll leave you all to make your own minds up...
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The above transcript was typed in by Sean one boring Sunday afternoon
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on January 17th. The information came from various media sources including
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Daily Sport, Sunday Mirror, the Sunday people and a fax some one was kind
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enough to send me.
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