textfiles/occult/MOOISM/cow-g10.txt

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                        ³ MOO-COW â-10 ³
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                           Released By
              The Office Of The High Preest of MOO
                       Pfflqfoide Q Gehqo

                        Proclamation â-10
    On The Qabbalistic Significance Of Elvis Aron Presley And
      The Second Coming Of Jesus Christ, Saviour-On-A-Stick

     This is the tenth in the MOO-COW series of revelations and proclamations
from the Office of the High Preest of MOO, Pfflqfoide Q Gehqo, and it concerns
a matter of pressing importance to us all, namely the hypostasis of the
Kabbalistic essense of Elvis.

     Part One:  Cabala, What The Hell Is It?

     Qabalah is the Hebrew word for "tradition", and it has come to mean the
Mystical tradition of the Jews, which is heavily involved, rather complex, and
extremely useful to Mystics who want to prove something equal to something
else if they can't figure out why it should be.  Notwithstanding this, it's a
really cool thing.
     Now the Kabalah, like anything, has a theoretical level and a practical
level.  The theoretical level has much to do with the En Sof, and the
Sefiroth,and all sorts of other words like that, and makes for entertaining
reading,especially for a mathematician, who generally can't fathom why 0=2. 
The practical level is much to do with words and letters and stuff.
     It seems that the Hebrew alphabet was around with God in the
beginning,when She did all that creating of the Heavens and the Earth and all
those useful things we live in, and the alphabet got assigned numbers, and
essences, and eventually got formed into the Torah (all this makes for
fascinating reading when explained by someone deeply trained in the social
politics of alphabets). Anyway, the point is this: special magick stuff can be
done using the Cabbalistic significances of Hebrew Letters.  This is part of
the Practical side.
     But what has this to do with Elvis?

     Part Two:  The Messiah And Elvis

     Much has been devoted to comparisons of Jesus and Elvis.  You know the
sort of thing...  Jesus came from a Land of Grace, while Elvis lived in
Graceland. Jesus rose from the dead and was seen by zillions of people all
over the place (the Pentecost), while Elvis may or may not have died, and has
been seen in zillions of 7-11s (the PennyCost).  Most of this appears on the
surface to be dalderbash, and permutations thereof, but in fact, it is a
reasonable comparison,especially in light of modern Qablah.
     Why does the Hebrew alphabet get special treatment in the Eyes of God?
Well, no special reason except that it was the language of the time when that
particular bit of highly-important-stuff was going on, back about 700BC.  Of
course, then it was claimed that all the Words of God were in Hebrew, since
those were the Primordial Letters.  And other such outrageous claims.
     Not that there's anything wrong with "Outrageous Claims"...  Certainly
that's the label given to anything printed in the Weekly World GNUs, the
National Enquirer, and other such sources of Elvis data, the significance of
which will shortly become, if not obvious, at least a little less convoluted
than it is right at the moment, not entirely unlike this sentence.  Speaking
of sentences,some of them have been written in Arabic, such as those in the
Koran.  Now Islamic knowledgeables say that Arabic is the only language of God
(i.e. Allah,Blessed Be His Nose), and Al Qur'an is only accurately the Words
of God if written in Arabic.  Odd, for a God who allegedly only speaks Hebrew.
     The fact of the matter is, God is everywhere, and EVERY Word is, by
definition, the Word of God, on account of God Owns Everything, and has a Deed
to prove it.  Not that Words and Deeds can really be compared, but there you
go. The point is, no language is favoured, and the Cablah can, in theory, be
applied to any old language at all, including English.
     This means that, since the Land of Grace and Graceland have a nice
correlation in English, they must be closely connected in the Eyes of God,
Nose of Allah, Toes of Jehovah, and so forth.  And much else...

     Part Three:  Elvis Lives

     One thing worthy of note is that the Hebrew for "Messiah" and for
"Serpent" have the same Kabblistic number attached to them (counting the
numbers assigned to each letter, you see)...  This means that the essence of
each one is supposedly the same, since the Primordial Alphabet Soup has
combined in the same Essence in each one.  So in some medieval images, Christ
is portrayed as a Snake-On-A-Stick: a serpent draped over the Cross.
     But the SERPENT was EVIL, right?  Well, it certainly had a rough time of
it in the Garden of Eden after Jah had figured out what was going down the
pipes with this apple nonsense (the Golden Apple of Discord and all that).  So
CHRIST is identified with something supposedly EVIL.
     Well, in ENGLISH, ELVIS and EVILS have the same letter combinations TOO.
Well how about that?  Plus which, we can see the ELVIS and LIVES thing going
on,too, giving us the Hidden Mystical Message that Elvis is the bringer of
life, as was Jesus.  Could anything be more obvious?  How anyone can deny that
Elvis Presley was the Second Coming of the Saviour On A Stick is beyond me. 
But wait! There's more!
     Now one of the real big things in Jewish Mysticism is the T
tragrammaton,the four-letter Name O' God, YHVH (Yod, He, Vau, He).  That's
Yahweh, Jehovah,and a number of other things, because the Jews of the time
disdained vowels.  Now you add the letter Shin in the middle, you get YHShVH,
Joshuah or Yeheshuah,which got Romanized into "Jesus".  It's symbolic, you
see, of the Holy Spirit (Shin, which looks like a little fire) being inserted
into the material world (the four elements, natch).  It's the adding of that
one letter into the name that says the spirit of the lord is being inserted
into the world.  So what about Elvis?  Any letters being stuck in HIS name
from something else?
     No, but check THIS out...  Elvis Aron Presley's middle name is Aron (in
case you hadn't guessed).  Now on his "Tombstone" it's spelled Aaron, with TWO
A's...  The insertion of an A.  On the other hand, it CAME from "Garon", which
was the name of his dead identical twin brother, Garon (this is true, look it
up).  So we have a G going away when he's born, and an A coming in after his
death.  Now back to the Hebews.
     The Hebrew G is Gimmel, which also means Camel (Elvis's birth was
supposedly accompanied by the spontaneous combusion of several camels in the
Middle East, which confused many a Bedouin).  But the ATTRIBUTIONS of Gimmel
are with the Priestess in the Tarot, thus the Shekhinah, which is the female
part of God, and also the "manifestation of God".  Also, in English, G is the
7th letter of the Alphabet, and 7 is a number that pops up a whole heap in
descriptions of the Day of Judgement, when God fools around manifesting a
lot.  Thus, the G going away means that Elvis has persuaded God to not have a
Day of Judgement just now,saving us from Damnation.  Hallelujah!
     The Hebrew A is an Aleph, which is connected with the Pure Fool, like as
in the Tarot, and heaps of other things, such as the element called Air, whose
symbol looks peculiarly like an A itself, with a line across the bottom: a
triangle cut into two bits, as it is in the Eye-In-Pyramid design.  In fact,
this identifies the return of the Sirian Illuminati as the cause of Elvis's
death. He gave his life, as Jesus did, not so that we would be delivered from
damnation or any such thing, but so that his mind, his software, could be
dumped into the Sirian computer, called VALIS, and described by Philip K. Dick
in his "novel" of that name, PUBLISHED THE YEAR AFTER ELVIS'S "DEATH".
     In fact, as you can see, VALIS permutes into ALVIS, which is ELVIS with
an A.  This is another manifestation of the "Arrival of the letter A"
phenomenon. 

     In fact, as you can see, VALIS permutes into ALVIS, which is ELVIS with
an A.  This is another manifestation of the "Arrival of the letter A"
phenomenon. Elvis, but accepting the arrival of the A, became VALIS, the
Sirian Illuminati's substation which they use to contact WOMBAT here on
Earth.  But that's another point entirely.

     Part Four:  Elvis Now

     So Elvis may have been the Second Coming of Jesus, our Saviour On A
Stick,and he may have saved us from the Days of Wrath, but what do we do about
it NOW? After all, now that Elvis is inside Valis, there must be something to
be done to contact him, perhaps through WOMBAT?
     Well, in fact there is.  Consider:
1)  Elvis also permuted to Levis.  Anyone wearing Levis Jeans belongs to the
Neo-Tribe of Levis, as referred to in the Book Of Revelations, Gecko-Remix,
which describes the Judgement that Elvis saved us from.  By wearing these
jeans, you express your gratitude to Elvis.  Trust us, WOMBAT knows what
you're wearing, and so does Valis.
2)  Valis will no longer permute to Evils as Elvis did (this is symbolic of
the fact that Elvis saved us from our Evils, and they no longer Xist).  The
closest to this is Avils, which is close to Anvils.  The addition of the "n"
refers us to the Greek, where "n" is "nu" (compare "new" and "gnu").  So in
the NU aeon,we can contact Valis by using Anvils, but only if we abandon the
ways of MOO and embrace the GNU testament.
3)  Jesus transubstantiates in Bread and Wine because this was his last meal.
Elvis's last meal, typically for him, was a deep-fried peanut butter and
banana sandwich and some drugs (the alleged cause of his "death").  You too
can commune with Elvis by the ritual eating of peanut butter and banana
sandwiches and the taking of drugs.
     The currently proper ritual for MOOists communing with VALIS through
WOMBAT, reaching the manifestation of Elvis, and thus Jesus, is this. 
First,abandon MOOism as preached in the Book of MOO, and accept the GNU
testament. While wearing Levis jeans, take some drugs and eat a peanut butter
and banana sandwich whilst listening simultaneously to the Anvil Chorus and
any of Elvis's Greatest Hits.  The resulting neurological backwash will put
you in immediate psychic contact with Our Saviour In Siris (blessed be his
belly) through WOMBAT and VALIS.


           [ ( ) 1355670812.1273 Pffflqoide Q Gehqo ]
        Love Is The Thing, Something Something Something
      Do What Thou Something Something Something Something