161 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
161 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
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IF GOD SHOULD SPEAK
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This skit deals with prayer and other issues of the Christian life. It
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requires one person who is the "pray-er" and someone else who is the voice of
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God, offstage.
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Pray-er: "Our Father which art in heaven ..."
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God: Yes.
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Pray-er: Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
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God: But you called me.
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Pray-er: Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. "Our Father
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which art in heaven ..."
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God: There, you did it again.
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Pray-er: Did what?
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God: Called me. You said, "Our Father which art in heaven. Here I
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am. What's on your mind?
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Pray-er: But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying
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my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It
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makes me feel good, you know, kind of like getting a duty done.
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God: All right. Go on!
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Pray-er: "Hallowed be thy name ..."
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God: Hold it! What do you mean by that?
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Pray-er: By what?
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God: By "Hallowed be thy name?"
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Pray-er: It means ... it means ... Good grief! I don't know what it
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means! How should I know? It's just part of the prayer. By
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the way, what does it mean?
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God: It means honored, holy, wonderful.
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Pray-er: Hey, that makes sense. I never thought what "hallowed" meant
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before. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is
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in heaven."
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God: Do you really mean that?
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Pray-er: Sure, why not?
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God: What are you doing about it?
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Pray-er: Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of
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neat if you got control of everything down here like you have
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up there.
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God: Have I got control of you?
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Pray-er: Well, I go to church.
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God: That isn't what I asked you. What about that habit of lying
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you have? And your temper? You've really got a problem there,
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you know. And then there's the way you spend your money -- all
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on yourself. And what about the kind of books you read?
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Pray-er: Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of
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those phonies -- at church!
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God: Excuse me! I thought you were praying for my will to be done.
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If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who
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are praying for it. Like you, for example.
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Pray-er: Oh, all right. I guess I do have some problems, some hang-ups.
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Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
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God: So could I.
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Pray-er: I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really
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would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to,
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you know, be really free.
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God: Good! Now we are getting somewhere. We'll work together, you
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and I. Some victories can truly be won. I'm proud of you!
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Pray-er: Look, Lord! I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot
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longer than it usually does. "Give us this day, our daily
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bread."
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God: You need to cut out some of that "bread." You're overweight as
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it is.
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Pray-er: Hey, wait a minute! What is this, Criticize-Me Day? Here I
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was, doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in
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and remind me of all my problems and shortcomings.
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God: Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you
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know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called
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me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep on
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praying. I'm interested in the next part of your prayer.
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(pause) Well, go on!
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Pray-er: I'm afraid to.
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God: Afraid? Afraid of what?
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Pray-er: I know what you'll say next.
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God: Try me and see.
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Pray-er: "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass
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against us."
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God: What about Joe?
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Pray-er: I knew it! See, I knew you would bring him up! Why, Lord,
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he's told lies about me, and cheated me out of some money, and
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is the biggest phoney around. He never paid back that debt he
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owes me. I've sworn to get even with him and then never
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associate with him again!
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God: But your prayer! What about your prayer?
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Pray-er: I didn't mean it.
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God: Well, at least you're honest. But it's not much fun carrying
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that load of bitterness around inside you, is it?
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Pray-er: No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I
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got some plans for old Joe! He'll wish he never did me any
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harm.
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God: You won't feel any better. You'll only feel worse. Revenge
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isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you are already. But I can
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change all that.
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Pray-er: You can? How?
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God: Forgive Joe. Then the hate and sin will be Joe's problem, not
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yours. You may lose the money, but you will have settled your
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heart.
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Pray-er: But Lord, I can't forgive Joe.
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God: Then, how do you expect me to forgive you?
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Pray-er: Oh, you're right! You always are! And more than I want
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revenge on Joe, I need to be right with you. All right, I
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forgive him. Lord, you help him to find the right road in
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life. He's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think
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about it. Anybody who goes around doing the things he does has
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to be out of it. Some way, somehow, show him the right way.
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Maybe you can even help me to help him?
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God: There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?
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Pray-er: H'm! Well, not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty
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great! You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight
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tonight for the first time since I can remember. Maybe I won't
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be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest.
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God: You're not through with your prayer. Go on!
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Pray-er: Oh, all right. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver
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us from evil."
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God: Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place
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where you can be tempted.
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Pray-er: What do you mean by that?
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God: Change some of your friendships. Some of your so-called
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friends are beginning to get to you. Don't be fooled! They
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advertise that they're having fun, but for you it could be
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ruin. Either you are going to have to stop being with them or
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start being a positive influence on their lives. Don't you use
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me as an escape hatch!
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Pray-er: I don't understand.
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God: Sure you do. You've done it a lot of times. You get caught in
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a bad situation. You get into trouble by not listening to me,
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and then once you do, you come running to me, saying, "Lord,
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help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it
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again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make
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with me, don't you?
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Pray-er: Yes I do, and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am.
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God: Which bargain are you remembering?
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Pray-er: Well, when the woman next door saw me coming out of that
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X-rated movie with my friends. I'd told my mother we were
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going to the mall. I remember telling you, "Oh, God, don't let
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her tell my mother where I've been." I promised to be in
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church every Sunday.
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God: She didn't tell your mother, but you didn't keep your promise,
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did you?
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Pray-er: I'm sorry, Lord, I really am. Up unitl now, I thought that if
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I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what
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I liked. I didn't expect anything like this to happen.
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God: Go ahead and finish your prayer!
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Pray-er: "For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for
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ever. Amen."
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God: Do you know what would bring me glory? What would make me
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really happy?
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Pray-er: No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you. I know what a
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difference it can make in my life. I can see what a mess I've
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made of my life, and I can see how great it would be to really
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be one of your followers.
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God: You just answered my question.
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Pray-er: I did?
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God: Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people
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like you truly love me. And I see that happening between us
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now. Now that these old sins are exposed and out of the way,
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well, there's no telling what we can do together.
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Pray-er: Lord, let's see what we can make of me and my life, O.K.?
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God: Yes, let's see!
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