167 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
167 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
Mon 13 Jul 92 3:30p
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By: Oz Tech
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To: All
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Re: To summon Ye Daemon Crowley };^)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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@INTL 1:120/418 31:1000/1
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A copy of this rite was passed to me a couple of years ago by a friend.
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Apologies to the original author, who is not known to me.
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[Kiddies, do not try this at home.]
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--
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O.D. PUBLICATION, CLASS A
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How To Summon Ye Daemon Aleister Crowley To
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Visible Appearance
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(A Rite For Father's Day)
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From an ancient Graeco-Egyptian manuscript in the
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Egyptian National Museum
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-Ye Banishing-
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Banish by showing a picture of Aleister Crowley to the eight
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directions, saying "Get Off My Cloud" at each spacemark, and
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each time give the Middle Finger Salute to the direction. Or ye
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may wear a Crowley Mask during the banishing. This will scare
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away any non-Thelemic entities and entice Crowley to the Circle.
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-Ye Place Of Working-
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In the middle of the circle should be a Crucifix, lots of beer
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(Crowley hated beer) and a copy of an A.E. Waite book (Crowley
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liked Waite about as much as beer). This wll keep Crowley from
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invading the circle in his true form.
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-Ye Preliminary Insultation-
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The celebrants sit in the circle and consume beer, marijuana and
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other intoxicants, all the while profaning the demon Crowley,
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reviling him at every turn. Every couple of minutes a different
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celebrant should break into the conversation and say, "I wish
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Crowley was here to hear you say that." Getting stoned inside the
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circle where he can't reach you and insulting his Name will draw
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Crowley to the circle, itching to manifest and rip you into confetti.
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-Ye First Insultation-
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The appointed Priest reads each sentence aloud, and the Celebrants
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repeat it after him.
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"I invocate and conjure thee, o ye blasphemous toad Aleister
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Crowley! Long have ye taunted us from beyond the grave,
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meddling with the brains of acid messiahs and politicians,
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smirking at us from behind your silly Egyptian hat! I
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command you to appear before us now, if you're the great
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magician they say you are! Being armed with the power of beer
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and cigarettes I command it!!!"
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(pause for a minute)
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"O worm-eaten necromancer, hear me. A sadistic game you have
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played with your disciples long enough. You lure the curious
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down halls of Aleister Crowley statues and Crowley altars at
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every turn, only to lead the travellers to a mirror at the end of
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the path, and they realize their god was themselves all the time.
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BUT BY THAT TIME THEY'VE BOUGHT ALL YOUR BOOKS. Thou art a slick
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advertiser selling bottled air."
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"I invoke you by your names: To Mega Therion! Perdurabo!
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Baphomet! The Beast 666! Fo-Hi! Count Alexander Svareff!
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Chiao Khan! Alys! etc. Come thou forthwith, without delay,
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from any and all parts of the world thou mayest be, and make
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rational answers unto all things that we shall demand of thee.
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for thou art conjured up by the name of the living and true god
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Xerox!"
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-Ye Second Insultation-
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If the obstinate Beast refuses to show himself, repeat ye second
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insultation:
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"By the power of the slave god Jehovah, I command you to
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appear!"
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"By twenty generations of Plymouth Brethren, I constrain you to
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appear!"
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"By Leah Hirsig's bedpan, I lure you to appear!"
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"With seven vestal virgins, I entice you to appear!"
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"With seven lines of fine Peruvian cocaine, I tempt you to
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appear!"
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"With seven young, gay, Arabian boys I seduce you to appear!"
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"By a gram of China white heroin, I dare you to appear!"
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"Just to see if I have all that shit, I DEFY YOU TO APPEAR!"
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-Ye Grand Insultation-
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Another joint is passed around while the Celebrants wait for a sign
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of Crowley's appearance. His manifestation can take many forms,
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and each adept should comment on anything he/she should hear or
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see that might be Crowley, from insects to rocks to vegetation.
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While the joint is smoked, each of these possible signs is discussed
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and either discarded or seized and put in the middle of the circle.
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These objects touched by Crowley are HOO-HAHs and should be kept
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by the celebrants as Power Object s.
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If Crowley still does not appear in physical form, a final and
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most powerful CRITICIZATION and INSULTATION is uttered by the
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Priest:
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"Come on, man, this is embarassing. We do the ritual and you
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promise it will work and you don't show up. That's just like
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you, you lime-sucking baldpate of an English windbag! We
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come out here, dress in fine apparel and take strange drugs and
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all that shit, and all we get out of it is sitting here in fine
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apparel stoned on strange drugs."
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"Come on, you lecherous old fart! You can tantalize us with a
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little visible appearance, can't you? Just show us a leg and part
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of a helmet like Buer showed you, huh? That is, if you got the
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balls. COME ON, CROWLEY, SHOW US THAT BEAST OF A
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WANGER YOU BRAG ABOUT..."
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As soon as this is said, Crowley will manifest on the outside of
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the Circle, if not in bodily form then as a breeze or something
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more tenuous, but everything that moves outside the circle has
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been touched by him. Each celebrant who hasn't found a Crowley
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Hoo-Hah yet should go out of the Circle and find one. They are
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piled in the middle of the Circle.
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These Crowley Hoo-Hahs can be used for any and all types of
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Thelemic Magick. They're almost as good as Crowley Knucklebones
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and Crowley Toes.
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-Ye Banishing-
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A reverse banishing should be performed. Face the inside of the
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circle, point Crowley's picture or mask to the center of the circle,
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and at each of the eight points, say "Under my thumb" while
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you grind your thumb into your outstretched palm.
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-Ye Warning-
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The O.D. takes no responsibility for the consequences of
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performing this rite. Crowley's manifestation is sometimes violent:
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once a whole group of adepts was found buggered to death. Be
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forewarned.
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Collegium ad Inner Sanctum
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Rushville, Indiana
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This year
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Kung Fus Shun, Grand OHOOD
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--- Tabby 2.2
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* Origin: ALamut - Thee Mountain 415.431.7541 (1:125/51)
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SEEN-BY: 103/175 120/418 125/51 159/700 202/311 266/72 278/666 279/999 1000/1
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SEEN-BY: 2000/1 9400/0
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@PATH: 125/51 202/311 1000/1
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