160 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
160 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
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Spiritual Music Advice 'n' Stuff
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by Rev. Richard Visage
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Amazing. Here we are emerging from the depths of February, and a
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quick glance at the Billboard top twenty reveals that Mariah Carey's
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Christmas album is still right up there on the charts. If you've
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grown up on Nine Inch Nails, her name may not be familiar - she's
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the one who takes pride in her umpteen-octave range, and substitutes
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vocal gymnastic warbling for singing. The Curse of Christmas is that
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parade of nasty albums specific to the occasion, and I must say that
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1994 gave us the most horrific batch of Christmas albums that I can
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recall.
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So, naturally, we just have to look for the worst. Mariah? Nope.
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Kenny G? Nope. Whitney Houston? Nope. Without a doubt, the worst came
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from: Kathy Lee Gifford.
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This is a totally talent-less woman, whose razor-thin vocals
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are backed with the most disgustingly banal arrangements imaginable
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-- Muzak is boundlessly more creative. While we thank the other
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contestants for their genuinely awful contributions, it just doesn't
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get worse than this.
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Hmm, what else can we find on the Billboard? Frank Sinatra,
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Duets II. I thought he was dead, maybe it was all just wishful
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thinking. Let's spin a CD, kids.
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UNPLUGGED IN NEW YORK
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Nirvana
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I've just about had it with the 'unplugged' concept. Really now,
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how many bands have missed the opportunity to try this out and
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subject us to the results? Sure, it was fine the first couple of
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times, but by the time we had to suffer through Eric Clapton's
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abysmal unplugged album countless times, there was a certain urge
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to tell MTV just where to put the plug.
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The other, and rather obvious, fact that clouds this album is
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Kurt Cobain's suicide, and the resultant media frenzy. The internet
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has absolutely howled with those who choose to make fun of his death
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or those who have elevated him to godlike status, or suggested he
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spoke for an entire generation.
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Brush away all of this sediment, and there's just the music. As
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the leaders of the grunge pack, one wouldn't expect that Nirvana
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would work well unplugged, given their normal volume level.
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In fact, the results are surprising and powerful. One comes
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away from listening to this album convinced that Nirvana, and grunge,
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were a convenient medium for Kurt Cobain to express his genius. It
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also rather nakedly reveals Cobain's extremely disturbed nature.
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Nirvana fans will find some of the group's standards on the
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album -- 'Dumb', 'Polly', 'On a Plan', 'Something in the Way', as
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well as a cover of David Bowie's 'The Man Who Sold the World'. The
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Huddie Ledbetter tune 'Where did You Sleep Last Night' is an absolute
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standout, definitely the most charged version of this song that I've
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ever heard, and Cobain's vocal is raw and electric.
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This album isn't full of great musicianship, but it is one of the
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most engrossing CDs I've ever run across. Even if grunge hasn't
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appealed to you in the past, give this one a listen.
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LIVE THROUGH THIS
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Hole
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Courtney Love's band has received mountains of publicity since
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the death of her husband, Kurt Cobain. This album has also received a
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lot of favourable comments from reviewers.
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However, I didn't live through this -- I couldn't even manage to
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listen to the whole CD, even though I made two attempts. I thought,
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given my rather advanced age, that it just might be some kind of
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generational thing. Then, the rather nubile Ms. LaBamba made the
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comment while this album was on that she felt that the CD player must
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be broken.
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There's no sign of music on this nasty thing, save your money.
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CROSS ROAD
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Bon Jovi
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The kings of shopping-mall pop are back -- this time with what
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is essentially a best-of collection with a couple of new tunes
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thrown in.
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You'll find virtually all of the band's big hits on it. No one
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admits to liking these guys, but *someone* is buying their records,
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and by the bag full.
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I've always found their music almost annoyingly catchy, and
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there's nothing worse than finding yourself absent-mindedly humming
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a Bon Jovi tune. I suspect a lot of you will buy this CD, and play it
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late at night on your discman while hiding in the basement.
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No surprises here, it's exactly what you imagine it'll be.
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THE LONG BLACK VEIL
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The Chieftains
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Geez, who *isn't* on this album? There's Mick Jagger, Sting,
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Ry Cooder, Marianne Faithful, Mark Knoffler, even Tom Jones and
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others lurking here and there in the tunes.
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The Chieftains have emerged from the 'Irish Balladeer' pigeon hole
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and stepped into the forefront as one of the most interesting group
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of musical experimenters about. They give us a varied scope of style
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and instrumentation on this CD -- everything from the expected Irish
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styles to what sounds very much like rock and roll, and then you'll
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hear Australian aboriginal instruments in the background. The guest
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talent is used thoughtfully instead of gratuitously, as is typical of
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albums with long guest lists.
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This one has classic written all over it. Bonus -- it's exquisitely
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produced and recorded. Pick it up, quick.
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Religiously yours,
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Rev. Richard Visage
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rv@visage.jammys.net
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***(Note to Editors: Say, guys, I don't want to complain or
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anything, but what happened to all those endorsement contracts you
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promised? I mean, I don't want to put down your business acumen, but
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the only company that has approached me so far was from Taiwan, and
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they wanted me to put my name on a combination Buttock Toner/Desk
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Organizer. After watching Ms. LaBamba give the buttock toner a try,
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I'm pretty impressed. That said, you guys said it was gonna be a sure
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thing, and that I could expect offers by the truckload. What gives? I
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was almost kind of nice to Whitney again, too. Don't tell me I have
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to write a nice review of Frank Sinatra's album...)
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# # #
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Copyright 1995 Rev. Richard Visage, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Rev. Richard Visage is the official Spiritual Advisor to Fidonet, and
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is listed on the masthead of the Fidonews, where his correspondence
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is published regularly. The Rev. operates 1:163/409 on a laptop from
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various hotel rooms, and is bankrolled by expense accounts from very
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unsuspecting publications who showed poor judgement in hiring him.
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Canadian Government officials list him and his semi-clad secretary,
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Ms. LaBamba, as officially "at large" somewhere in North America.
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==============================={DREAM}===============================
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{Editor's Reply: We don't need no steenking endorsements. But how
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would you feel about a cameo appearance in THE WORDPERFECT KID? }
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