639 lines
40 KiB
Plaintext
639 lines
40 KiB
Plaintext
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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
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2 ************************* INSTALLED: 6 DEC 85 ***********************
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3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
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4 ************************************************************
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5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
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6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
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7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
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8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
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9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
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10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
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11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
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12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
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13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
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14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
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15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
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16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
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17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
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18 ***********************************************************
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19
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20 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
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21 A
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22 Beams of pale yellow light bathe me as I enter the establishment of spirits. Sounds of clinking glass along
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23 with the smell of warm drinks and stale cigarette smoke overwhelm me. Something about the echo of the voices
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24 tells me that I'm in the right place. I amble to the counter that has long been abandoned by customers.
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25 "Hello... Stuart. Are you still serving dinner?"
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26 "You walked up right in time; we stop serving in..." A strange look came over his face. "Is that really
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27 you?" I barely nodded. "My god, it's been..."
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28 "It has been awhile. Let us just say that it has been awhile." My eyes remained lowered, never making long
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29 establishing contact with his. "Have you been here all this time? Looking over the business?"
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30 "Nah, I've been out of slinging the ice cubes for some time. I came back not too long ago just to help out
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31 with the income. Tips and all that fun stuff. Know what I mean?" he asked with a wink and a nod.
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32 "I suppose. Listen Stuart, I'm looking for a friend..."
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33 "Ain't we all? Hey, if you're not looking for anything serious, there's this one dame that..."
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34 "No, that is not what I had in mind. I'm looking for someone inparticular. I'm looking for a Mr. Smirnoff.
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35 Perhaps you remember seing me with him before? I would like to have a few words with him if I may."
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36 Pausing for a moment one could almost see the light come on for Stuart. "Oh, sure! Yea, Mr. Smirnoff. I
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37 think I can get him for you." He draws a clean glass and a bottle from the shelf behind him. "Okay, here comes
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38 Mr. Smirnoff now."
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39 "There are quite a few matters I have to go over with him. The sooner I get started the better." Stuart
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40 has hardly enough time to turn around before I comment. "I'm having a bit of a problem hearing him. Do you
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41 think you could get him to speak up a little louder?" He notices the now empty glass.
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42 "You've got it. A double, straight-up, coming up."
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43 I raise the glass to my lips and take this one a little slower. "Now you are talking Mr. Smirnoff..."
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44 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
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45 L'homme: See the letter "A" up there? You know me, I could never brag.
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46 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
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47
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48 131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313
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49 FCL[C DD_C\ _DTC^ FL@ZD EX\AD _IFMM FNGRP USFPD THBIA NXIAD EANPF XLDXM
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50 @DVJX ZJ@C\ [\HB_ CRSCU EDEAA \EDP_ XDYAD IJXV@ V_AI@ DXJ@D KG]PC V_XEA
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51 IDNTC @JE[@ \@D_C LUD_F IAC[Y HBC_O HBNRD
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52 131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313
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53
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54 676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767
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55 Back in the USA at last.
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56 676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767
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57 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\25
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58 As he advanced James jammed a hand into his boot and whipped out the derringer. The Commander hesitated in
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59 surprise. He had one shot. He tried to aim but the barrel just wouldn't stay in one place. The Commander lept forward
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60 just as James fired.
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61 A large hole appeared right where the Commander's heart used to be. He fell on his face about four feet short and
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62 didn't move. Immediately the fog lifted and James could think again. "Indiana Jones has nothing on me." he commented,
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63 blowing smoke from the barrel.
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64 Reholstering the gun, he tried to stand up. James had experienced pain before but rarely like this. His whole back
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65 felt like it was on fire and his left arm still wouldn't respond. He finally got to his feet and turned and was amazed
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66 at the size of the stain that had soaked into the bedsheets. The Commander must have done him some major damage. With
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67 all the blood that had run out of him in the last twelve hours he must be nearly empty.
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68 The force field around Tariya dissipated with the Commander's death but she was still out. Probably drugged. James
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69 wondered if the bastard had done anything to her while she was unconcious and wished he could kill him again. He
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70 managed to summon the sword, but his strength was fading fast. He only hoped he could open a warpgate.
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71 The swordtip traced an oval in the air. A thin blue line remained, floating in midair. He dropped the sword and
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72 picked up Tariya, which wasn't easy one-handed. He faced the oval for a second and watched it fade. If it went out
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73 completely, he wouldn't have enough strength to try again. He would die here.
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74 Then the air inside the oval collapsed with a bang and he was looking through it into a laboratory. On the other
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75 side of the gate several white-suited technicians turned and stared back in astonishment. One called his name
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76 questioningly.
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77 James stumbled through the warpgate. Tariya's weight unbalanced him and he toppled. As he fell, he twisted so as
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78 not to land on her. He landed on his wound instead. The pain was so intense that he couldn't even cry out. The last
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79 thing he remembered was several anxious faces staring down at him as unconciousness forcibly claimed him.
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80 He wondered if he would ever wake up.
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81 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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82
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83 WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON POLLUTING THIS SYSTEM WITH THEIR PURPLE PROSE? I MEAN
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84 REALLY, THE SAME OLD "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" MOTIF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WHAT I
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85 FIND ESPECIALLY PATHETIC ARE THE ATTEMPTS TO CREATE NAMES SUCH AS TARIYA WHICH
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86 ARE SUPPOSED TO EVOKE AN OTHERWORLDLY ATMOSPHERE. B O R I N G ! ! !
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87 They're rioting in Africa, they're starving in Spain
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88 1Theres hurricanes in Florida, and Texas needs rain
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89 The whole world is festering with unhappy souls
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90 The French hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles
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91 Italians hate Jugoslave, South Africans hate the Dutch
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92 And Scots don't like anybody very much...
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93 But we should be tranquil and thankful and proud
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94 Cause mans been endowed with a mushroom shaped cloud
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95 And we can be certain that some lovely day
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96 Someone will set the spark off and we will all be blown away...
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97 They're rioting in Africa, theres strife in Iran
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98 What nature doesn't do to us...
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99 Will be done by our fellow Man..
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100
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101 Not much changed since the Kingston Trio recorded this in 1961 eh, wot???
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102 A1&A2---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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103 OFF
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104
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105 M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M
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106
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107
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108 TRIPPING ON BOOKS by Clark
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109
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110 Page three...
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111
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112 State police had been deployed to all universities
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113 following the signing of the Act, to quell any possible
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114 violence. It was a natural decision to have them
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115 keep close tabs on George too. George was assigned his
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116 very own personal tail to shadow him everywhere
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117 on campus. The tail's job description included
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118 keeping George under close observation and taking
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119 down the identities of all students and faculty who spent
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120 an inordinate amount of time with him. Since George was
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121 so popular on campus, the State police tail had a very
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122 busy job. George quickly became aware of the tail's
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123 presence, but figured there was nothing much he could do
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124 about it. He felt confident he could lose the tail if it
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125 really became necessary.
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126
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127 The marketing professor appeared at his podium. It was time to set the
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128 book down and start taking notes. Today's lecture: Subliminal Suggestion for
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129 Home-bound Housewives. For the next hour and a-half, Tim had to be
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130 a busy student paying attention to the teacher during the lecture. Tim couldn't
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131 get the book out of his mind though. There was something about the story,
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132 the way Tim read it. George Gratis... Police State... 1997... Am-Euro Act...
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133 Tim's head spun. The images before his eyes shimmered like the
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134 reflections off the smooth surface of a mountain lake, suddenly disturbed
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135 by a skipping rock. Professor Gratis... Personal Freedom... Shimmering...
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136 Classroom... 1985... 1997... Political Science... Professor Gratis...
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137 Lights... Blackness... Dark... Void... Desolation... Illumination...
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138 Luminescent... Brilliant... Classroom... 1997...
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139
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140 "So as you see, the continued growth of a strong central state does
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141 have it uses, but only if the cardinal conviction of this state is the
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142 preservation of basic human rights. A state where its people are subjugated
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143 is hardly an improvement over what existed 20 or more years ago in the
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144 fragmented governments of this planet. If anything, a militaristic government
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145 is a digression away from the ideal, not a move towards it."
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146 Tim realized something strange had occurred. His mind whirled. This
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147 was no longer "3-D Marketing Strategies..." What happened to Professor Dinero?
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148 Who is this guy talking about ideal governments? The classroom! It's all
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149 painted red. The desks! They look like something out of a futuristic
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150 science fiction movie. Futuristic... wait... My clothes are all different.
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151 This isn't my class! What has happened? Omigod!
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152 The professor at the podium was now drawing comparisons on Karl Marx's
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153 Communist Manifesto versus current advances into socialist states. Tim sat
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154 still, stunned, unable to comprehend what had happened to him.
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155 Even my books aren't the same. All except for my copy of "George's
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156 War." This prof. sounds a lot like George Gratis. Funny. I must be dreaming,
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157 fallen asleep during the lecture. Everything is so real though. No I couldn't
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158 be asleep. It's not drugs either. At least I don't think I took any drugs. No,
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159 I would remember if I took drugs. This whole thing...the room, the teacher,
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160 my clothes, the other students they're all different. It's as if I were
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161 somehow transported to some other place...
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162 A question by one of the other students brought Tim's reasoning too
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163 a grinding halt.
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164 "Professor Gratis? Do you think the Am-Euro Act had significant roots
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165 in the big redistribution-of-wealth movements of the late eighties?"
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166 Professor Gratis? Late eighties?
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167 Tim didn't hear the professor's reply to the question. He was to
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168 busy having his own reality blown away.
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169
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170 <To be continued>
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171
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172 TRIPPING ON BOOKS
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173
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174 /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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175
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176 **************************************************************************
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177 L'homme: Missed you at the meeting Thursday. Had your check waiting too.
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178 Along with the latest archives. Oh well, maybe next time. Also, a question
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179 from a David Bills at Bullis International Airport,
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180 Washington DC 20041. How do you kill the Moss monster? Maybe you could
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181 drop him a line.
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182 ************************ CISTOP MIKEY *************************************
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183
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184 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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185 ||||| A skip and a jump; as always, gets you farther than on alone || PEN NAME |
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186 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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187
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"The forest is a forest," Exclaimed the Pastor.
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188 "See the forest for the trees! A forest isn't a forest, it's a
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189 lot of trees! Can't you see?"
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190 "The forest is a forest! Why don't you see that?" Puzzled the
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191 Pastor. Who then sat over the table, rubbing his eyes, drawing deep
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192 from his ale, and mumbling softly.
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193 "Why don't you see it my way?"
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194 "I don't. Alright?"
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195
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As their lively little debate died down and everyone had a little
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196 time to reflect on the matters debated, several people wanted their
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197 say. Some started grumbling and mumbling on their own and most
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198 simply downed another pint of ale.
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199 "Excuse me," Said one neglected patron, who seemed more than a
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200 little nervous, "It appears to me that you are tired of this debate
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201 and tired of each other,"
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202 The Pastor looked over to his fellow debater. If they were so
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203 tired of each other, this was the first they had heard.
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204 "Why drudge on through difficult debates? Why demand they must
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205 agree with you? Why not leave well enough alone?" The nervous
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206 and neglected patron seemed to calm with every word.
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207 The Pastor saw in his friend the same look.
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208 "Why assign such values to what you say?"
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209 The look of bewilderment and silly regret.
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210 "Ever known one person to be convinced in these things?"
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211 The Pastor and friend smiled and chuckled together.
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212 "Stop taking things so litterally,"
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213
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The Pastor giggled a bit and settled down for what he thought
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214 would be a long pep talk. He was pouring his drink down his throat
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215 when he heard the nervous one say-
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216 "Besides, a forest is a grove!"
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217 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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218
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219 *%_#)@*%_)#*%)_*%)_!%!@)_+%(_@#)*%_)%*)_!#*%_)#!^*_#!^*_#)*^_!)*^_!#*^_)!*^!#_^*)#_^*
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220 Mikey: Sorry about missing Thursday. I was getting a tour of the computer facilities
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221 at Portland Community College. I will come by US Digital Monday afternoon if that is
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222 all right. How many disks in the latest archives? I'll drop an AdventureWare help-
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223 memo to David Bills ASAP. I even have a nifty letterhead designed and printed using
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224 a graphics program. This way all adventure help will be on distinct stationary.
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225 Thanks for letting me know about the query.
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226 *_%*_)%@#*_%)@*_%)@#*%_)@#*%_@)#*%_ L'homme sans Parity *%_#)@*%_@#%*_*%)@#_*%*%@)#*%
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227
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228 KathyD are you KMD? I have BOGGS and lost your number. Please call.
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229 -.-.-...-......-.-.-...-......
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230 (((*)))(((*)))(((*))
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231 L'homme : when you see Mikey could you do some checking on copy link
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232 for me? Thank you....
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233 (((*)))(((*)))(((*))
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234 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
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235 Hum, four eyes all in a row, perhaps time to see a movie, on a sunday night
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236 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
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237 ________________________________________________________________________________
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238 After logging it to the terminal for cross-reference, Linda slipped
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239 the last newspaper clipping into its folder, placed it in the box with
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240 the rest, and sent the lot off to be microfilmed.
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241 Seizing the quiet moment to herself, she leaned back in her chair,
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242 hands behind her head, and reflected on what she had been able to
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243 pick up since assuming the position of Ian's gopher.
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244 Agents L'homme sans Parity and Fellows were about to go off on a
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245 mission, where or what it was, she hadn't yet determined. Wassir and
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246 frend had checked into the Bogart Arms, Delta V was busy blowing up
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247 safety deposit boxes, and she still hadn't the faintest clue as to
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248 the Net's true purpose or intent.
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249 The intercom buzzed, meaning Ian needed her to fetch someone or
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250 something again. She sighed, put on her best Pollyanna smile, and
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251 was off.
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252 _________________________________________Miss Nomer_______________________________
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253 **********************************************************************
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254 L'homme: Monday is fine. There are three disks in the archives currently,
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255 with one disk worth of BW disks waiting to be transferred to CPM to MSDOS.
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256 ************************** CISTOP MIKEY **********************************
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257 Miss Nomer... Chuckle... I like the name!
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258 ***********************
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259
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260 .-.-.-.-.EmuLurk.-.-.-.-.-.
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261 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| As well, is well ||||||||||||||| PEN NAME ||
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262 (((*))) lurk mode (((*))
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263 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
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264
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265 "The forest, yes, the forest." Fellows paled with every word.
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266 "Remember, relax. You are telling me this so I can help you. Nothing
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267 in the dream can hurt you know. But in retelling your dream it will most
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268 likely help you." Dr Macrobius' voice was calm and reassuring. Some of the
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269 color returned to Fellows' face.
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270 "Sure Doctor. I know... OK. As I turned and went into the forest, I
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271 noticed how very dark and deep it was. It was peculiar that a small trail
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272 had been cut in the exact spot I entered. I chose my entry into the forest
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273 at random, and I did not see the trail until I was right on top of it, but
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274 there it was. Anyway, I moved through the forest over this trail. Sunlight
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275 trickled down between the tall trees into patches of yellow here and there
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276 on the forest bed. It was pretty dark, but there was enough ambient light to
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277 make my sojourn safe, or so I thought." Fellows paused again, drew in a deep
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278 breath, and continued. Dr Macrobius' hand flew across his pad as he took
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279 notes.
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280 "I started noticing the trees. I didn't know what kind they were, but
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281 they looked familiar. It was just like the people in the clearing. I could
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282 not identify them, but I thought I knew them. I know that is crazy sounding,
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283 how could I know trees..."
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284 "You let me interpret Fellows. Do not judge yourself like that."
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285 "Sure, OK... Well anyway, I guess I got a little scared, because I
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286 started walking faster. I had turned my head to look behind when I walked
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287 into something. I got up and saw a tree, perfectly trimmed, growing in the
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288 middle of the trail. It was just standing there, branches neatly cut, reaching
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289 out across the trail. It loomed over me. I got up and ran past it best I
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290 could. The trail started to narrow. The trees were encroaching on the edge
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291 of the trail. And I did not feel any familiarity towards the trees like I had
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292 before. I started running faster, further into the forest. The sunlight seemed
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293 to be fading, and it was getting difficult to see very far ahead. I tripped
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294 a couple times on roots that protruded out in the trail. I got up as fast as
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295 I could and continued running. I had lost all sense of direction. My heart
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296 was pounding again, but this time I could hear everything that was happening,
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297 the sound of my feet on the trail, my breathing, everything. And then I
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298 decided to stop. I stood there, bent over, catching my breath. I heard a
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299 voice, somewhere behind me. I spun around, and in a particularly large
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300 patch of light stood the woman from the clearing who had waved at me. She was
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301 standing there smiling, her arms extended and her hands clasped in front of
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302 her. I realized she had spoken my name, and I started moving towards her."
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303 Again Fellows paused, and again some of color left his face.
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304 "Go ahead Fellows. You mustn't stop now. It is important that you relay
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305 this episode."
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306 "I will Doctor, just a second please, while I catch my breath."
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307
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308 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FELLOWS TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
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309
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310 %*%_)@#*%_)#*%)_!#*%)_*@)!#*%_)!@#$*%)*)!#$*^#$!)_^*#$)_^*)_#$!^*)_$#!*&)_#!*^_)#!*&_#!*&)%_&*_)!*&)_%$*&!_&*_$&*@_&
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311 Mikey: Thanks, I'll bring $15-$20 for the disks. I hope the Christmas spirit is remembered and all my fellow
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312 archivists remember to pay me back! The Copylink Ripple was asking about is for a SDB bus CP/M machine. We can
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313 talk about it Monday, but you may want to address any questions to 'Ripple.' I also have some questions about
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314 a NEC V20 to ask you Monday. I'll be there a little after 5:00pm.
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315 Leonard: I have some TRSDOS archive disks for you. Yes, I have not forgotten that I owe you many many disks.
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316 psu-cs!nelsons: I had some difficult sending mail to psuhon. Call when you can Ok?
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317 *%)_@#*%@#)_%*)_*!@_)%*%^_)*#^_)@*^_@)# L'homme sans Parity %*#@_)%*@#_)%*@#)_*%_)*^_)@*_^&*_)@*^_@)#^*@)_^*_)$@#^*^
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318
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319 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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320 MOST CLEVER NAME OF DISK AWARD GOES TO:
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321
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322 Miss Nomer!
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323
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324 Unfortunately your award only consists of enjoyment and
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325 respect by the other members of the Backwater Inn. We
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326 are working on a BRAND NEW CAR starting next year.
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327 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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328 \\\\\\\\\\\\\Will they leave this marker intact?\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\hope so\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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329 CC4EDE4CCD4DCCC4ECCE64ECE4CDECCD4
|
||
330 96086403150951403892B06880263859B
|
||
331 CDCCE4CDC4CDD4CEECDDC364ED4ECCE4CDCE4ECCE4DCDC4ECC4DCE5
|
||
332 3645201950669012286352B0260681304652038130412503850553C
|
||
333
|
||
334 ______________________________JD 2446408.0502_________________________________JD 2446408.0502______
|
||
335 ______________________________JD 2446408.0529______________________________
|
||
336 Fact For the Day ... many of you have noticed the marker directly preceding this
|
||
337 line - the one with the "JD" and a bunch of numbers following. Contrary to
|
||
338 popular belief, it does not stand for the 'hit' record of a Juvenile Delinquent.
|
||
339 It is rather a dating system used commonly in astronomy, with a starting point
|
||
340 sufficiently far in the past (January 1, 4713 B.C.) to avoid fluctuations in the
|
||
341 calendar, such as the several days which were lost a few hundred years ago.
|
||
342 So, the "2446408" means that there have been 2,446,408 days since 1/1/4713 B.C.
|
||
343 The fractional part of the number is, of course, the fractional part of the day.
|
||
344 .2500 would be 1/4 of a day, or 6 hours. The person using the marker has
|
||
345 cleverly realized that the Julian Day starts at Noon, not Midnight, so when
|
||
346 you take the .0529 and convert it into 01:16:11, it is not a quarter past 1 in
|
||
347 the morning, but rather a quarter after 1 in the afternoon. Unfortunately,
|
||
348 what the user apparently failed to discover is that the Julian Date system is
|
||
349 an Absolute, not a Relative. In other words, 2446408.0529 here in Portland
|
||
350 references the exact same instant as 2446408.0529 does in Moscow, USSR.
|
||
351 Obviously then, it can't be dependent on local time, but is rather based on
|
||
352 Greenwich noon, which is currently at 4 am. So, what the _JD author is calling
|
||
353 2446408.0529 is actually 8 hours later, or 2446408.3862. Close in the cosmic
|
||
354 scale, but hopelessly off in a useable sense. From a practical standpoint,
|
||
355 however, it would be better to fudge even more and call .0000 local midnight,
|
||
356 so then you see .5000 you would know it's noon, rather that having to go through
|
||
357 all the mathematical contortions to discover what it Really is.
|
||
358 Oh, and lest you think I'm just talking through my hat (as they say),
|
||
359 my source is THE AMERICAN EPHEMERIS AND NAUTICAL ALMANAC 1980, issued by
|
||
360 th Nautical Almanac Office, United States Naval Obseratory via the
|
||
361 U.S. Government Printing Office.
|
||
362 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Gregory, 12/08/85 14:58:05 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
||
363
|
||
364 _SHEESH,WHAT A WASTE OF LINES;LIKE HOO CARES?
|
||
365 ditto ditto ditto. You can alalways tell a college student by he way he or she
|
||
366 relates facts with such enthusiasm when after all they are only repeared from
|
||
367 a source that may or may not be correct
|
||
368 in relation to the universe. Those older and wise realize that a simple relating
|
||
369 of facts does not wisdom make, it is what you do with what you learn that is
|
||
370 important, not how well you can recite it, as any tape recorder can...
|
||
371
|
||
372 `PP`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P Just Turkey Lurkin' `P`PPOPO`P`P`P`P`P`P`
|
||
373 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
374 I quite disagree with the above comment that the explanation of the
|
||
375 JD xxxxx.whatever was a waste of space as (1) I for one was curious
|
||
376 as to what the numbers represented, and (2) it was not simply quotes
|
||
377 from a text, the information was presented in explanation of an event,
|
||
378 and his/her own opinions were expressed regarding the usage of the
|
||
379 numbers.
|
||
380 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$[K][G]$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
381 P.S. Besides, as the explanation was not given from the owner of the
|
||
382 border, it might just be (gasp) humor|||
|
||
383 UNDERNEATH THE CHABMERS WERE RIGHT BETWEEN THEIR EYES...
|
||
384 SITTING ON A POWDER KEG, ENDING ALL THEIR LIES....
|
||
385
|
||
386 SENTRY TURNS TOO QUICKLY
|
||
387 EVERYTHING IS LOST
|
||
388 OVERPOWERED CAUGHT REDHANDED
|
||
389 WHAT WILL BE THE COST?
|
||
390
|
||
391 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
|
||
392 SPLIT FROM EAR TO EAR
|
||
393 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
|
||
394
|
||
395 ALL THE KINGS HORSES, AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
|
||
396 COULDN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN
|
||
397
|
||
398 GROUND INTO SUBMISSION
|
||
399 THEY BURN ME TO THE BONE
|
||
400 QUESTION AFTER QUESTION
|
||
401 IN THAT MOCKING TONE.
|
||
402
|
||
403 TREASON! VERDICT OF THE JURY
|
||
404 BLACK CAP JUDGES HEAD
|
||
405 TAKE HIM TO THE WOODEN SCAFFOLD
|
||
406 HUNG TILL YOU ARE DEAD!
|
||
407
|
||
408 CHORUS
|
||
409
|
||
410 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
|
||
411 SPLIT FROM EAR TO EAR
|
||
412 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
|
||
413 ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
|
||
414 COULDN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN....
|
||
415
|
||
416 DRAGGED OUT BY THE KINGS GUARD
|
||
417 BRANDED BY THE CROWD
|
||
418 MORNINGS ENTERTAINMENT
|
||
419 SEE THEM LAUGH ALOUD
|
||
420
|
||
421 PLACED UPON A FUNERAL PYRE
|
||
422 DRESSED UP TO THE NINES
|
||
423 EVERY YEAR RAZED TO THE GROUND
|
||
424 A 100,000 TIMES.....
|
||
425
|
||
426 REPEAT CHORUS
|
||
427
|
||
428 From the a totally CRAZY RAVENLUNATIC!!!!!
|
||
429 RAVENLUNATICS ALL RULE THE WORLD
|
||
430 RAVEN WILL BECOME THE RULES OF THE WORLD!!!
|
||
431 BECOME ADDICTED TO RAVEN , OR F.O.A.D.!
|
||
432 ...........................................................................
|
||
433 Gregory... true, an oversight on my part... maybe I should switch to
|
||
434 Long Count?
|
||
435 ______________________Leonard_JD 2450059.9968__________________________
|
||
436 ooops! slight glitch in the calendar
|
||
437 ______________________Leonard_JD 2446407.9997__________________________
|
||
438 ps it started on 1/1/4713 BC on the *Julian* calendar, on the gregorian
|
||
439 calendar the date is different (by about a month!) If anyone is really
|
||
440 interested I'll do the calculations.
|
||
441 ___________________________________________________________________________
|
||
442 Oh the white folks hate the black folks,
|
||
443 And the black folks hate the white folks.
|
||
444 To hate all but the right folks
|
||
445 Is an old established rule.
|
||
446
|
||
447 But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
|
||
448 Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek,
|
||
449 It's fun to eulogize
|
||
450 The people you despise,
|
||
451 As long as you don't let 'em in your school.
|
||
452
|
||
453 Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
|
||
454 And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
|
||
455 All of my folks hate all of your folks,
|
||
456 It's American as apple pie.
|
||
457
|
||
458 But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
|
||
459 New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic,
|
||
460 Step up and shake the hand
|
||
461 Of someone you can't stand,
|
||
462 You can tolerate him if you try.
|
||
463
|
||
464 Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics,
|
||
465 And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
|
||
466 And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
|
||
467 And ev'rybody hates the Jews.
|
||
468
|
||
469 It's National Ev'ryone-smile-at-one-another-hood Week,
|
||
470 Be nice to people who
|
||
471 Are inferior to you.
|
||
472 It's only for a week, so have no fear,
|
||
473 Be grateful that it doesn't last all year.
|
||
474 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
475 It's been so long that I forgot to put the title at the top.
|
||
476 National Brotherhood Week (Words & music by Tom Lehrer)
|
||
477 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
||
478
|
||
479 No, no, no, please, no, don't do the calculations.
|
||
480 At least not here. Ephemerides are available at the
|
||
481 library, and anyone can afford a calculator. Like I said, hoo cares.
|
||
482 Has Mikey been busy with his blue pencil? What has
|
||
483 happened to the missing lines?
|
||
484 BACKWATCHER%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
|
||
485 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
||
486
|
||
487 UP AND DOWN AND ALL AROUND
|
||
488
|
||
489
|
||
490 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
||
491 """"""""""""""""""
|
||
492 Upload test:
|
||
493
|
||
494 This is a test, this is only a test...
|
||
495
|
||
496 Yippe! It worked *first* try!
|
||
497 """"""""""""""""""SOLI
|
||
498 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
|
||
499 Bard: I haven't heard thoes for quite a while! I guess I'll have to
|
||
500 break out my old Lehrer albums now.
|
||
501 L'homme: I'll call tonight
|
||
502 <><><><>
|
||
503 "Angels we have heard on high,
|
||
504 tell us to go out and buy..." Tom Lehrer
|
||
505 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...psu-cs!nelsons<><>
|
||
506 ;18033ca90f8d18d4a9008d05d4a9f08d06d4a9218d04d4a9608d000b5c
|
||
507 ;180354d48d01d478a9178501ad0ddc2910f008a90f8d18d44c5d030a07
|
||
508 ;08036ca9008d18d44c5d030345
|
||
509 ;0000030003
|
||
510
|
||
511 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
|
||
512
|
||
513 The door of the Bogart Arms elevator slid shut, and the contraption
|
||
514 moved upward accompanied by the groaning of ancient machinery. Wassir
|
||
515 turned to the gnomish bell boy and said, "Excuse me, is there a represent-
|
||
516 ative of the Crudleco corporation in this hotel?"
|
||
517 "Never heard of 'em," the bell boy rasped.
|
||
518 Wassir sighed and reached into his pocket. He withdrew several Swiss
|
||
519 francs and stuffed them into the gnome's jacket. "Hmmmm...." Wassir said,
|
||
520 "perhaps these will help your hearing problem."
|
||
521 "Oh yes sir, I'm sure they will." The gnome said as he glanced at the
|
||
522 bills. "Crudleco has a hospitality suite on the top floor. They have some
|
||
523 wild parties up there, let me tell you. Strange people.... strange outfits
|
||
524 .... they even took a bunch of ducks up there one time. You shoulda seen
|
||
525 the place afterwards, feathers all over. Terrible." The gnome shook his
|
||
526 head.
|
||
527 "Is there anyone up there now?" Maria asked.
|
||
528 "Haven't seen no one, but they got a private elevator so's the guests
|
||
529 don't have to go through the hotel lobby."
|
||
530 "Does this elevator go up to the hospitality suite?" Wassir said.
|
||
531 "Yup, sure does... but it has to be called from the suite itself. If
|
||
532 you'll notice, the buttons only go to twelve." The gnome motioned to the
|
||
533 control panel. "The Crudleco suite is on the fourteenth floor." The
|
||
534 elevator wheezed to a stop. "You'll have to walk up a floor to your suite
|
||
535 on thirteen. They added a couple of floors in '06 and never fixed the
|
||
536 elevator." The gnome walked Wassir and Maria up a narrow stairway and to
|
||
537 their suite.
|
||
538 The room was your average dumpy European hotel suite, gauchely done
|
||
539 in red and black velveteen. On a table in the center of the living room
|
||
540 was an enormous bouquet of lavender carnations. Maria tipped the bell boy,
|
||
541 while Wassir looked at the card attached to the flowers. It read:
|
||
542
|
||
543 My dearest Mohammed,
|
||
544 So nice of you to drop in. It's been boring since Professor
|
||
545 Stuffit left, and I've heard so much about you. I do hope you
|
||
546 live up to your reputation.
|
||
547 With all my love,
|
||
548 China Blue
|
||
549
|
||
550 "Ahem," Maria said with a dangerous sparkle in her eye. "And just who
|
||
551 is China Blue?"
|
||
552 "Darned if I know," Wassir said. "But I'm sure we'll find out."
|
||
553 "Just remember I don't get even, I get mad."
|
||
554
|
||
555 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Valinor *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
|
||
556
|
||
557 HAh, I haven't heard any good 12-13-14 floor building jokes since that
|
||
558 escapade in the Oklahoma City Hilton all those years ago. Keep up the
|
||
559 good work Valinor.
|
||
560 L.s.P.
|
||
561 The cooks assistant was slouched against the brick wall of the back of the Bogart Arms, smoking
|
||
562 a cigarette. He had the look of boredom and too many months of being talked down to by "chefs".
|
||
563 He didn't even look up as he heard someone approach untill a hand reached forth and grabbed the
|
||
564 collar of the white linen jacket that was the standard dress for employees of his level.
|
||
565 The expression on the face of the bull of a man looking down at him quickly dispensed any feelings
|
||
566 of being bored. The man spoke. " Well, now, my man, you look like you need a break". "I was, uh just
|
||
567 uh..." The man interrupted him. " I always wanted to be a cook, see, so I'll tell you what- I'll
|
||
568 rent your uniform for a while, and you trot off down the street and have yourself a drink, OK?"
|
||
569 The folded S
|
||
570 wiss franks in the mans hand were what the cook saw first, then he noticed the Walther P-38 in his
|
||
571 other hand. "Uh, yeah, I was gettin' thirsty, now that you mention it..." As he was leaving, he
|
||
572 heard the man say, "If you come back in less than an hour, you'll never have to worry about food
|
||
573 again, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" A yessirr floated back, but Delta Five was already inside the kitchen.
|
||
574 Working quickly, he approached a room service attendant in a gaudy red velvet jacket, and pulled
|
||
575 him off to the side, by the door of the walk-in. "I'll deliver this personally, son, and you find
|
||
576 the sous chef and tell him that the Veal cordonBleu for table 12 was refused."
|
||
577 This would distract him long enough...
|
||
578 Moving the room service cart over to the chef's station, he picked up the phone, and asked the
|
||
579 operator for the extension he wanted. The elevator was waiting when he arrived in front of it's
|
||
580 ornate brass doors, with the Cupids in bronze depicting the floor numbers. The operator had been
|
||
581 alerted. Another delivery to that bunch of crazies ...He reflected on what a very friendly maid
|
||
582 had told him-"and feathers all over..."
|
||
583 The man with the room service cart had an expression that was downright intimidating, and when
|
||
584 he told the operator that the car was to go to the "private party", the operator was acquiescent.
|
||
585 "Yes sir..." The doors opened just as a tall man with a stunningly beautiful companion was about
|
||
586 to rap on the door. "Sir, a delivery, sir..."
|
||
587 Delta V pushed the cart towards the door, and the
|
||
588 tall man looked at him suspiciously. Feigning intimidation, Delta said "It's the desserts, sir-petit
|
||
589 fours, and Nessleroot Tort, and Ambrosia, sir..."
|
||
590 The tall man made one of the few mistakes of his life, and raised the white linen cloth to look.
|
||
591 Delta hit him squarely in the jaw, and the tall Albanian veritably flew back, and slammed into
|
||
592 the door. The man in the cooks uniform moved in quickly, but not fast enough. A long leg snaked
|
||
593 out, and caught his ankle, smashing forward, and twisting it painfully. His hand went inside his
|
||
594 white tunic, and is
|
||
595 as if by magic, his hand felt the familliar ribbed handle of the Walther. Squeeze the trigger once
|
||
596 and a round is loaded into the chamber. The action is cocked, and ready to fire. As he fell to the
|
||
597 plush carpeted floor, he brought the muzzle up so that it was pointed at the tall man, ...,and,..
|
||
598 the barrel of an equally intimidating handgun.
|
||
599 The woman just stood there, for a second, confused. The two men for the first time made eye contact.
|
||
600 Time was stretched to it's outermost limits. Years and years of training was suddenly forgotten
|
||
601 in the face of ones equal. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and eager fingers squeezed triggers
|
||
602
|
||
603 almost as one. Both guns fired within a split second of each other, and both hands were raised an
|
||
604 instant before the deafening explosions. Two bullets smashed into walls, inches from human heads.
|
||
605 Then, silence. Hesitation... The man on the floor spoke. "Well...Delta V, or I'm a poor goatherder.
|
||
606 Delta Five said calmly,"Well, thought I might find you here, Wassir. Sorry about your boat, but
|
||
607 you know how it is....
|
||
608 D DDD
|
||
609 DDVDD
|
||
610
|
||
611 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
|
||
612 "Blue moo-oon of Kentucky keep on a shinin'; shine on the one that's gone and left me blue..."
|
||
613 "C'mon pal, give it a rest. I think it's about time you knocked off for the eveing. You're cut off."
|
||
614 "Oh Stuart, don't be a wet blanket. Besides, we were just getting started," I said as I raised my glass.
|
||
615 "We? What do you mean we? Your so-called buddy, Mr. Smirnoff, is gone!" Stuart held up an inverted
|
||
616 bottle that was seriously lacking of anything liquid and made certain I was aware of that fact. "No more
|
||
617 liquor, absolutely no other guests to be seen, and it's time I locked this place up." Stuart didn't seem all
|
||
618 too impressed with my company and just slid the tab in front of me while locking up the cabinets behind the
|
||
619 counter and generally straightening up things for the person that would get stuck working the first shift the
|
||
620 next morning.
|
||
621 "You're just doing this because you don't approve of my musical talent. Would you care to hear an anthem
|
||
622 perhaps? I'm quite up-to-date on several of the more popular European anthems. Would you care for..."
|
||
623 "You have got to be the most verbose customer while inibriated I've heard! I'm calling you a taxi."
|
||
624 "You musn't call me a taxi," I said while looking for my bilfold. "On the contrary, my name is Lewis."
|
||
625 Stuart only issues a simple groan while dialing the number to the taxi service. He hesitates for a moment when
|
||
626 he gazes upon the fountain of wealth I seem to be drawing my monetary assets from at the moment.
|
||
627 "Huh? Oh hello, Northeast Taxi? Yea, I've got a fellow out here that's had one too many to drink... And
|
||
628 you don't need to worry about the fare, I think this guy must have struck it luck at Bowling-for-Bucks..."
|
||
629 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
|
||
|
||
TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 629
|