textfiles/messages/BACKWATER/bw850517.txt

1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ************************* INSTALLED: 17 MAY 85 *********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18  ****************************************************************
19 
20 L'homme: The CLS was indeed defective, it was calling the mode change r
21 routine instead of the clear screen (which was also the reason for the screen
22 loosing sync. You may also have noticed that if you were in monochrome and
23 switched to color that it always selects white on black the first time
24 no matter what color you tell it. The problems have been identified and
25 fixed. Still no match on the lost character thing though. Any progress on
26 the VT100? Do any coding yet?
27 ************************ CISTOP MIKEY *************************************:
28 TO ALL WHO MAY BE CONCERNED
29 I JUST GOT A COMM 64,AND I'M
30 JUST LEARNING HOW TO USE IT
31 AND BOY AM I GETTING LOST
32 BUT I'M TRYING,THATS WHY I'M
33 WRITING THIS TO SEE IF IT
34 WORKS.
35 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
36 Sigh... so close to the top...
37 AP tests survived, upload program sufficiently cursed at, graduation arriving
38 in a few days... Now, manual entry.
39 #$##$##$##$#
40      Farley had some strong feelings about what L'homme was thinking, none of
41 them good.  He'd seen and felt too much of the pressure that a NET agent had
42 to work under NOT to know.  He began to suspect it was all a show for him -
43 that the mask of confidence that L'homme sans Parity now had plastered on his
44 face was for the benefit of none other than Eugene F. Farley.  Farley thought
45 about the decision L'homme (and Fellows, also; he COULDN'T be this completely
46 crude and out-of-control under normal circumstances) had made, and appreciated
47 the thought behind it.  Not that he felt it necessary, but he appreciated it.
48 The intent was not lost upon Farley, but he was becoming quite tired of playing
49 the odd-man-out.  Granted, he was less experienced than the other agents, but
50 hadn't he been helpful?  Was he a credit to the group, and not dead weight?
51      Farley didn't have the chance to continue his dark pondering upon his
52 value, for at that very moment, a very strange thing happened.  L'homme was
53 too busy driving to notice; Fellows was, of course, too busy observing the female
54 specimens of sunny California to pay much mind.  A nearly inaudible tone from
55 his chronocom derailed Farley's train of thought.  A small amber light
56 glimmered faintly; it represented, 'OPERATIONAL' status.
57      Suddenly, it seemed to Farley that a low voice emanated from the speaker.
58 Making sure that he was not observed in the back seat of the car, Farley held
59 his wrist up to his ear.
60      "...peating.  Farley, we have Fred.  He was not destroyed in the
61 explosion, but recovered and brought to California.  We know that you would
62 like him back.  Just give us a little cooperation when it's needed, and Fred
63 will soon be back with you.  Further communication will be broadcast later,
64 with instructions.  Repeating..."
65      Farley's mind whirled with the implications.  Fred?!?  Almost immediately,
66 skepticism broke out.  It could be a trap.  They might be lying, only trying
67 to get something for nothing.  They might have built a mock-up, for bait.
68      Or, they just might have Fred after all.
69      The chronocom's frequency was a particularly difficult one to use...
70      Fellows looked over his shoulder, seeing Farley look about dumbly.
71 "Penny for your thoughts, kid?"
72      Farley hesitated, then decided.  "I'm afraid you wouldn't get your money's
73 worth, despite what a penny's value is today.  I was just daydreaming."
74      The voice on the chronocom was just barely audible to Farley's ears, not
75 loud enough to travel far:
76      "...Farley, we have Fred...."
77 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$# Farley #$##$##$# 22:55-05/17/85 #$# see ya at PorSFiS
78 
79 How is everyone doing. With all this sunshine i havet had much time to try and
80 call in. It sure has been nice. Has everyone been enjoying the sun? to bad the
81 water was soooo cold, it was freezing when we went swimming.
82 wrute me some thing about what you did on all those sunny beaches
83 {c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{tammy}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}{c}
84 
85 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$1:17#$5/18#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$
86 HELLO ONCE MORE...
87 THIS IS A LONG ONE, SO LET'S GET TO IT.
88 
89 UNDERCOVER (Part five)
90 by John Silverman
91 
92 Frank was semidelirious from the heat and dehydration. A fever raged 
93 through his body and he h
ad little concious control over his bodily 
94 functions. Not that it made much difference. Laying in his own filth, he
95 no longer cared if they found him or not. He was too damned sick to care.
96 
97 It took a while for the sounds to break through his pathetic state of mind.
98 Gunshots. Distant, but getting closer. His interest stirred ever so 
99 slightly. He began to feebly hope that, one way or another, it would soon
100 be over.
101 
102 The fighting was definitely getting closer. There was a rapid submachine
103 gun burst that rattled his fillings followed by several seconds of silince.
104 He heard muffled footsteps and then the door slammed open and several
105 people ran in.
106 
107 Suddenly Frank heard the voice of the terrorists leader, "Take cover, shoot
108 anyone you see coming in. The oppressors have called out the army. We may
109 be doomed, but the world will remember us and our cause!"
110 
111 Frank heard scuffling as the terrorists found hiding spots. He heard foot-
112 steps coming towards him, and then go around behind him. This creep was 
113 using his laundry cart for cover!
114 
115 This indignity he wouldn't bear! There was a long, tense silence while 
116 Frank thought about what he was going to do. His thinking was interrupted
117 by an earsplitting explosion. The concussion threw the cart back against 
118 the wall, stunning the man behind it. Frank hardly noticed, in his state
119 of mind.
120 
121 His ears were assaulted again by the fierce gunbattle that followed. For
122 almost five minutes there was total chaos. Then silence. Still, all Frank
123 could think about was what to do about the guy hiding behind his cart. It
124 never occured to him that it was a minor miracle that he wasn't shot himself.
125 
126 Frank felt the man stirring behind the cart and simply decided to tell him
127 off right there. He'd had enough. He threw off his covering of sheets and
128 sat up. 
129 
130 The first thing Frank noticed was the shock of the open air hitting his 
131 damp skin and clothes. He began to shiver immediately. The fog began to
132 lift from his mind as he turned to the frightened terrorist. He tried to
133 speak, to tell the man to get the hell out of there, but all that came out
134 was a dry croak. Then he choked on the smoke in the air.
135 
136 Whether he knew it or not, Frank had had the desired effect on the 
137 terrorist. The man had already been on the edge and Frank's surprise
138 appearence had pushed him right over into panic. The man let out a loud
139 yell, dropped his gun, and jumped clear over the cart. He ran right into
140 a barrage of .223 slugs fired by a startled soldier.
141 
142 Frank had mentally returned to the real world, more or less. Still, his 
143 mind refused to acssimilate the carnage around him. What he did comprehend
144 was the soldier ten feet away who was down on one knee pointing a M16A1
145 rifle at Frank's midsection. When he took this in, Frank did what any 
146 mostly rational person would have done under the circumstances. He panicked.
147 
148 "DON'T SHOOT!! DON'T SH- " Frank grabbed the side of the cart, trying to
149 climb out, but only succeeded in tipping the thing over. As a result, a
150 bullet aimed for his stomach instead grazed his upper arm as he fell. He
151 cracked his head hard on the cement floor and blacked out.
152 
153 (To Be Concluded...)
154 
155 
156 ONE MORE TO GO. BY THE WAY, THANKS EVERYBODY FOR THE RESPONSE TO MY QUERY
157 ON MY LAST ENTRY. I NEEDED SOMETHING  TO KEEP MY CREATIVE MOTOR GOING AND
158 THAT WAS JUST WHAT I NEEDED. ALSO, 
159 ANYBODY WANTING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH ME COULD LEAVE A MESSAGE OVER AT
160 ALTERNATE WORLD. I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW SOME OF YOU ON A NAME BASIS
161 SINCE MY MIND IS NOT CLEAR ENOUGH TO MAKE BLANKET STATEMENTS ABOUT 
162 EVERYTHING I SEE ON THE BOARD. CREATIVE PEOPLE ARE HARD TO FIND AND I 
163 LIKE AND BE READY FOR THE IRONIC CONCLUSION, AFTER THE NEXT BOARD CLEARING.
164 UNTIL THEN...
165 
166 JOHN SILVERMAN
167 
168 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#2:00#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#
169 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
170         Each contract that passes from the manager to me must be inspected.
171 Each contract must be in the proper condition before I allow myself to pass it
172 on to those wishing to view them. I am considered somewhat of a perfectionist
173 by more than just the few in my field for I have let some of my professional
174 tendencies carry over into my private life.
175         In order that I may make certain that these contracts are in the
176 condition that is at least acceptable by the least finicky of our company's
177 patrons, I must cheack each page that they will see to make sure that none of
178 them give the appearance of having been torn or neglected. I must check each
179 paragraph to make sure they have been endorsed correctly. Mostly
180 the ones that have handled these contracts before me have been of the
181 semi-competant breed. Such was not the case with my most recent hand me down
182 rerelease contract.
183         Upon receiving my latest contract I was more than ready to find faults
184 with the wordings and compositions before I even opened the worn binders to 
185 these obsolete piles of the modern era. Soon I would submit myself to the 
186 torture that is The Inspection.
187         I took the heavy binders back to that darkened place I call my office.
188 I set down the first binder and cracked open the second to see what lay before
189 me. I was not impressed. In a short period my hands become covered with tiny
190 particles that would cause discoloration. As I allow each of the sentances,
191 each of the words and very letters to pass through my hands I begin to feel the
192 fire all over again. Any contract could kindle the fire, but one that required
193 special attention would stoke the fire to build a flame that would not be kind.
194         The submission began. At first the passing words were cool to my touch,
195 floating by with the ease that should be the pleasure of any of these. But soon
196 the ignition would take place, the sweet coolness would be replaced by the heat
197 that was the arising of the fire. The words flashed by at an increased rate,
198 the flame would be stoked. My fingers would soon be ablaze and there was 
199 nothing I would do to stop it. The nerves transmitted the first of the 
200 sensations of heat, I was ready. The heat grew, the pain did not end, I was 
201 ready. Soon the tips of my fingers would cry out to my brain to stop this 
202 madness, it would not respond. The muscles in my arms would begin to twich,
203 begging to desist, I would not. The flames would spread, crawling way up the 
204 insides of my arms threatening to destroy the life in them, but they could not.
205 I would not stop for I have survived this torture several times before. Still
206 the fire would not cease. The heat that was created turned the passing words
207 into the bite that now felt like the passing of a tempering blade, its edge
208 running across my fingertips. I would remove the blade from its fire and bring
209 it to my hands, and I would not stop.
210         This task has to be done. I would rather it be done by me for I am the
211 one that must work most with these contracts once they have completed my
212 critical inspection. I would perpetuate the addage claiming if you wanted 
213 something done right that you had to do it yourself.
214         My brain overrides thg messages of pain as my fingers litterally begin
215 to burn at their tips. The words. The fire. The words are the fire. Will it 
216 stop? The words continue and the fire passes with them.
217         I tell myself that one of these days I will not ride out the passage 
218 of the words, that I will let go. I almost come to my end. Just before I reach
219 a point where I feel I can tolerate no more the words run out. I watch as the 
220 final sentance rushes off to cling to its predecesors. The chapter is at an
221 end. I may now rest.
222 
223 
224 
225         As I lower my head I see waiting for me the other five chapters. 
226 I rub my hands together and prepare for my resubmission.
227                                                                Piner
228 /=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
229 /=/=/=/  Tin, ask TM if that doesn't sound at all familiar.  /=/=/=/
230 
231 
232 I look at the toy that sits out in the open. It can do nothing.
233 I don't want the toy now, I want to hold the real thing. I 
234 reach down to my shelf and pick up a red box. I take off the
235 rubber bands that make it look like it was just any other box.
236 From the box I extract the hunk of steel that no longer
237 shines in the light. The power it still can harness.
238 If I were to place a few pieces of lead in this hunk of steel,
239 what could I do? Maybe I could impose my will on others with
240 it. I won't because it's not my style. Maybe I could just 
241 hold it in my hands and point it. Where would I point it?
242 Maybe I could point it at myself. That sounds like an
243 intersting idea. I've never looked at a hunk of steel from
244 the front side before. It doesn't look the same.
245 How much longer will I look at this thing?
246                                                 -:ARONOV:-
247 
248 /=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\
249 
250                                  OLD HANK   (Conclusion)
251 
252      Chrystal was a bright, happy child with huge brown eyes that sparkled
253 when she laughed.  Henry spent hours watching her play.  She would dance
254 for him, exhibiting a natural grace akin to a ballerina.  The relationship
255 they shared was a special one - much closer than the one he shared with
256 his wife in their lukewarm marriage.
257      But that was before the accident, the terrible nightmare that never
258 went away and from which he never awoke.  He and Chrystal riding in his
259 old Ford pick-up with her standing on the seat beside him; the speeding
260 car suddenly swerving into their lane; the crash, sending Chrystal through
261 the windshield and 150 feet beyond the wreckage, killing her instantly;
262 and Henry Marsh, though he survived, never recovered from the overwhelming
263 sense of guilt, grief, and emptiness.
264      His mind and soul became like the upper floors of the Webster, dark
265 and forbidding.  Henry withdrew into himself and pulled closed the shutters
266 of his soul.  The light of his world was extinguished, and he dispaired.
267 His marriage collapsed under the strain, the nightmares began, and the
268 drinking followed.  Then, gradually, the daymares, when he could not
269 distinguish reality from imagined terror.
270      He drank to drown the memories that haunted him - those killing
271 memories.  Unable to sleep, he drank himself into unconciousness, and
272 though it came to cause him physical agony, he traded willingly.  He
273 couldn't remember when he first experienced the pain, but it always cut
274 him deeply when he drank.  The initial warmth and comfort of the first
275 swallow was quickly replaced by the torture of red, hot coals burning
276 through his stomach to the very core of his being.  A determined smile
277 forming on his lips, he hoped to burn the hated memories from his mind
278 forever.
279      As he stumbled and fell into a pile of molded, cardboard boxes in
280 the deserted alley, the stabbing pain intensified, reached an unbearable
281 level, and plunged him into unconciousness.  With convulsions shaking the
282 life from Old Hank, the blurry veil covering his eyes evaporated and he
283 was drawn toward a bright, warm, loving light which held out the promise
284 of an end to his nightmare.  In the light, a little girl danced and looked
285 at him with forgiveness, love, and pride.  Then, Henry Marsh, forever
286 freed from his mortal bondage, danced joyously with his daughter, the
287 jewel of his eye.
288 
289 /=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\Sebastian Silversmith/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/=\/
290 
291 _____________________________________________________________________________
292   Portland (UPI) - Firemen and local law enforcement officials are still
293 sifting through the rubble of Madame Bovary's Road House Cafe' Friday
294 night, trying to pin down the exact cause of a fire that destroyed
295 the 71 year-old establishment.
296   Fire District 4 spokesperson Kal M. Asucem read a prepared statement
297 on the steps of the Buford T. Justice Center. "We have several employees
298 and customers of the Road House in custody now, and we along with the
299 county sheriff's department are trying to corroborate their stories
300 with what our investigators have found at the scene. All I can say now
301 is that it appears that one of the customers somehow carried an incendiary
302 device into the Road House, where a performance of the play, "God From a
303 Machine", by Sir Thomas Moore was being given in Latin by the Madame
304 Bovary Art Players. During the second act, when the hero of the play is
305 saved from death under very strange circumstances, he yells "Deus ex
306 Machina." At this point, the witnesses' stories differ slightly, but we
307 think somehow when those words were uttered on stage, they set off
308 the device the customer in question was carrying. He was described as
309 a very large man with a nervous twitch. It appears the device was concealed
310 under his clothes. According to these witnesses, the as-yet unnamed man
311 literally self-destructed. Fortunately, this man appears to be the only
312 fatality as a result of the fire. The Road House structure was a complete
313 loss. That concludes my official statement."
314   Check page F-2 for a follow up on this story.
315 _____________________________________________________________________________
316 
317 {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
318 			Released
319 
320 The words caught
321 	in her throat
322 like caged birds.
323 
324 She fell silent
325 	unable to set
326 them free.
327 
328 Waiting, waiting
329 	they resettled themselves
330 preening, preparing, hidden from view.
331 
332 And when dawn broke
333 	and the colors
334 streaked the sky
335 
336 She cried out
337 	in amazement
338 and the prisoners took flight.
339 {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NEW POET}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
340 
341 _%*@#_)%*_)*%_)#@*%)_@*%_)@*%_)@#%*_)@%*@#_%*#)_%*@_*%@)_*_)*^)*@#_)^*@#)_*^@#_)^*@)_^*_@)^*@_*@#_)^*&*%$)_&*)_^*$)_^
342 Mikey: Hey I'm glad I was able to catch something. I started writing a section of code to try calling two systems
343  until I reached each of them, but I must have done something wrong, for I could not get it to work last night. I'll
344  try again though, fear not! No VT information yet. I am going to try both Compuserve and PSU Vax. On Compuserve I
345  am set up for VT100, since CrossTalk XVI will emulate that too. On the VAX I have a multi terminal shell program
346  that determines what I am using on my end (IBM, TRS80, TVI, TEK, etc) and loads in the proper TERMCAP. I should
347  be able to give it a pretty good workout.
348 *%#_%*@#)_*%@_)^*@#)_*%@#_)%*_)@#*%) L'homme sans Parity *(%_@#)*%_)#*%_*^)_*@#_*@#_^*@#_)^*@^)_*#$*^@)_^*#$)*^)#$_*^
349 
350 [/]                                                                         [/]
351  Your attitude is benign
352  The lips that speak are incardine
353  The eyes and thoughts are lucid
354  Your intents are equally pellucid.
355  At parting I can't help but remonstrate
356  For when here my life you ameliorate
357 
358          > Eric J. Smith
359 
360 p.s. Yes, they are all words, 
361      look them up if you don't
362      believe me.
363 
364 
365 
366 
367 EVERYBODY VOTE!!!
368   FOR PCC BUDGETING ON TUESDAY
369 {c}{c}{Aronov- dont shoot! or are you talking about a garden hose?}{c}{tam}{c}
370 New Poet:  Good stuff!                                  Frankenstupe
371 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
372 
373      *-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-
374 
375 /\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\
376           I walk from it, trying not to look back, trying to ignore the 
377 tortured feelings. I'm lost in my own emotions. I wonder if the old enemy has
378 returned. Something has blindfolded me, something has taken away my sight,
379 leaving me stranded in bewilderment and fear. I wound myself trying to find my
380 path. Despite my persistence, I don't find my way. I continue looking until my
381 legs are weak beneath me and I fall on the ground. Without needing to close my
382 eyes, I sleep, drifting into this present nightmare.
383 /\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\ eidolaz /\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\
384 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
385 The people are gone, the old coke that was hid in the downstairs
386 fridge was found and killed, and the place is a wreak; but still
387 this major hole is left in me.  Sure, it was interesting, but something
388 was, is, missing.  I don't think it was the company or anything, maybe
389 just my mood has taken such a drastic change latly that something else
390 is needed.  I just don't know any more.  Sure, sure, life is a bitch, and
391 then you die.  An old one.  It doesn't quite fit here.  Little is really
392 know about what causes break-downs.  But they do occure.  Maybe when
393 you call up a "friend" and start spilling to them hoping to get some
394 responce from them and they are rapped up in doing their boards mail
395 and running mail-shuffle routines, it just hurt even worse.  I didn't
396 mean that, or did I?  Maybe its just my current roommate?  He and I
397 seem to be in two different worlds, and this is not good.  I think
398 I need something else, and I think he does too.  I couldn't think of
399 anyone else to call after hanging up with my other 'friend' because
400 they had to get the 'board' back up, so I tried backwater.  And if by
401 some unearthly force knew that this is what I needed to keep me from
402 going over the edge, backwater was open.  NOW just take note of this
403 and no comments are really wanted.  Some know me, and several only know
404 me because of 'my very impressive and heavly modemed roommate'.  Yes,
405 that is the other world I'm thinking of.  Some how I am feeling very
406 lonely latly, and I'm not really sure why.  I suppose this is called
407 the companion blues.  What a phrase.  Maybe thats it.  Not much from
408 one who goes to bed when I get up, and the other can't stay and talk
409 right now because A,B, and C are in a three-way CHAT right at the
410 moment.  AND THEN the SQUIRT bottles, WHERE ARE THE SQUIRT BOTTLES!!!
411 Like everything else in the house (food, mostly I had purchased; I
412 drink two squirt bottles that were not of my purchases)  I mean hey,
413 they were there, and they looked good so !!!poof!!!, they got drank.
414 A simple note "STAY OUT OF" would have given a clue that you wanted
415 to save them for yourself.  Where are the other bottles?  With all of
416 the other stupid bottles (a large box full by now).  Boy, am I going
417 to get it now.  This being ENTER ONLY means that this is now here for
418 a bit, and maybe the attention will help.  Then again, maybe I will
419 just really get laid into for it too.   TOO MUCH SPACE.  Here we go 
420 again.  I'll leave with just a thought, since I'm not to sure of a 
421 moral to this yet:  "Life is just an illusion, but this does not mean
422 that we can just go away and ignore it."  Anothermajor hurdle has been
423 reached in my life, and several changes maybe in order to put things
424 in order this time.  Stay tuned, I'm sure there are to be some major
425 changes within two months (decisions first, then implementation).
426                       A lost and alone, PaPa
427 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
428 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Dreamtoucher*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
429      forces his hands into view.  slowly, patiently, with painful persistance.
430 The dream goes on around him uninterupted, unaltered except for one minor change
431  he can now excersize free will.  
432      With a slightly different form, with a slightly different name, with a 
433 slightly different self, not the same but somehow comfortable and fitting, the
434 elven born dreamshaper leans forward to float on his stomac in mid air.  His 
435 will faith alone keeps him afloat on
436 a conceptual surface at waste hight.
437     By will alone he glides forward through a circular doorway of concept, it-
438 self afloat in mid-air.
439     On the other side he rotates back to virtical and steps solidly to the pol-
440 ished wooden floor.  With a loud ping he is no longer asleep, no longer a con-
441 cept only.  Gravity pulls his feet to the floor ware they stay.  Casting his 
442 still half-muzzy awaireness about he crosses the spoor of a scientient spirit.
443      Near his feet, curved shareds of a once spherical strutransparent structure.
444      The spirit scent leads out through the nearest door to a deeply ash dusted
445 alley.  It leads to a crumpled figure whose outer wounds are but a reflection 
446 of a pitifuly laserated soul.
447      An oddly misshapen bird flies down from a roof ledge to land on the 
448 figures shoulder.  Mend thy self eidolaz it wispers to the brused and crouching
449 form in an incongruosly melodious voice.
450      Dreamtoucher turnes at the sound of soft footfalls behind him.  A naked
451 adolescent female sits atop a giant sweetsmelling and squeeky clean giant rat.
452      In face and form she is a perfact female reflection of the crumpled male
453  form nearby.  'Help him up' she commands, with the assurance of absolute 
454 authority, wet at the same time, not without a certain gentleness.
455      As the elven mystic bends to this task, not in submission but out of a 
456 heartfelt desire to aid the seamingly helpless one, he is suprised to find 
457 the large appearing fingure to be the slightest of burdens.
458 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
459 eidolaz: I belive your anima can take you to a place of healing.  Your will is
460 amazingly strong.  You can bend and shape your own destiny as effectively as 
461 can I.  Perhaps on this trail we might encounter others?
462 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
463 There is a lot of pain being expressed lately on the boards. It is a sad
464 commentary on society that people are so isolated that they are reduced to
465 crying here in relative anonymity, rather than getting help and that 
466 all-important physical/emotional feedback from a flesh-and-blood human friend.
467 May your catharsis be a cleansing one.
468 				_innocent bysitter_
469 *********************************************************************
470 he doesn't believe me,
471    oh God, Ive given up so much and yet..
472 he doesn't believe me.
473    I'm ready to lose more but,
474 he doesn't believe me.
475    alone again because,
476 he doesn't believe me.
477 ********************************************************************
478 
479 TV BUST
480 DE 1
481 
482 
483 IS YOUR TV BROKEN.  DO YOU GET A BAD PICTURE.  IF YOU DO CONTACT FRANK & HELENS
484 TV AT 646xxxx
485 
486 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
487 
488   A small stalk was chewn to cud and a small sack wsas emptied of the leaves.
489   The Former walked sslowly and unsure of himself.  His sack dangling fromthe
490 strap on his shoulder.
491 
492 [sorry, but stupid relatives are stupid. and i must go attend to them. ]
493 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
494 
495   From PPrometheus; Apolgies
496   Relatives 
497 
498  xg3?/	]line noise, people picking up phone on my end. sorry. very sorry.
499 
500 abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0+0123456978---------------------------------------
501 
502 To the lonely:
503 		    When things look the blackest, reach down inside yourself and pull out
504 the pluck that is there.  Put yourself at peace, for you are alive;
505 there are lots of lonely people out there:  perhaps you can make one of them
506 less lonely.  It is written:  give of yourself and you will be rewarded many
507 times over.  It is true:  I know of it in my own experience.  Have faith.
508 Turn outward.  You will find that you have more to give and to recieve than you
509 ever imagined!
510    Do something! Even if it's wrong!
511 
512 abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz0+012345678--------Horse Sense---------------------
513 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*GURU OF BLISS*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
514 Do something even if its wrong??? That's not right.  You don't have to hide
515 from yourself.  You can be your own best friend.  You can learn to like your-
516 self without self-deception.  Selflessness means not arbitrarily putting your-
517 self first at all times.  It does NOT mean hating yourself or being unfair to
518 yourself.  Justice means being fair to everyone; others AND yourself.
519      As to the moroseness expressed so much of late; these ARE 'interesting'
520 times, times to test the spirit of our species and our indevidual souls.  This
521 century of rebirth is the pivotal point of all earth history for the next 
522 10,000 years.  Ours are the generations that passed ages looked forward to and
523 future generations will look back upon.  It is the most exciting of times for
524 we hold within our grasp the decision as to weather our species will join the
525 greater galactic community as a good citizen or as a criminal.  For this same
526 reason these are also the most stressful of times.  This is the true armigeddon,
527 the armigeddon of the spirit of which the prophets and manifestation spoke.
528      This board, and others like it, are a place of creative escapes.  To be
529 creative, as is our birthright as scientent beings, that is what we were ment
530 to be and thus can there be any better 'therapy' than that?
531 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
532 
533 
534 
535 I walk down the street only to be covered by the streetlamp's dim
536 replacement for a moonbeam. The shadows they cast are no darker than
537 those I see during the brightest day. The warm sun is gone and I
538 smile as the cool droplets fall unseen on my face. I trudge slowly
539 along the division while the contemplations of my labor begin to
540 mount. The drops keep falling so I keep smiling. Slowly the weight
541 of the toy in my hand becomes inconsequential, it is no longer 
542 enough. No one notices it. Smoothly, I reach for my satchel to trade
543 it in for the comfortable grip of a hunk of steel. No one notices 
544 it. I wipe the drops that have fallen from the clouds that are my
545 eyes. The sky is clear, and so now is my mind. I smile.
546 No one notices it.
547                                               -:ARONOV:-
548 
549 
550 
551 {tam}, I'm not playing with the garden hoses. On the side of the
552 hunk of steel are pounded these words.
553 <STAR> BONIFACIO ECHEVARRA
554 EIBAR <ESPANA>    CAL 9 MM
555 I don't know what the second and third words are, but I have a 
556 hunch or two as to their meaning.
557                                              -:ARONOV:-
558 
559 
560 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     (**?)
561 The words here have become quite shocking, and on the most part unexpected.
562 Someone asked for a letter on another system.  I came here first, but shall 
563 be off to write what they asked for, and ask a question in return.  I just 
564 hope that my guesses are wrong.  My shoulder is just now drying off, but it
565 is always available if its use is wanted.  Some of you already know that...
566      My thought has been broken.
567 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     (short)
568      "You may think you know what it is that you want, but do you really?"
569 came the babble from Edric as I walked through the drape that covered the 
570 doorway of his entrance.
571      "Edric, I have come to ask you a question..."  I let the drape fall
572 back in place as I stood motionless at his threashold.  "But I feel you are
573 already aware of this, are you not?"
574      "Of course I am aware of such things, especially when they are of 
575 concern to me.  Yes, I know what it is that you would ask of me, so I will 
576 say to you again...  You may think you know what it is that you want, but
577 do you really?  Be quite cautious my foolish young man, for what is clear
578 to you may not be."
579 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     --->the Guardian and Edric     140:04
580 
581 ^^^^^   Impromptu 'cleaning'...  What a joy!                       --->G
582 
583 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
584    A beam of sunlight slid joyously between the hungry leaves of the trees
585 surrounding the inn, leaped through the open window illuminating the motes
586 of dust dancing their endless rounds, and bathed the glass of ale sitting
587 before the piper in a magical glow.  He sat with his shoulders hunched
588 forward, shutting out the rest of the world, capturing the yellow light
589 of the sun reflecting from the glass.  The light bathed his face, highlighting
590 the worried look on his face, dancing from the tear that hung like a jewel 
591 from the corner of one eye.
592 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
593 Oh no!  Not piper too!
594 && && &&
595 The Poet sat quietly in the corner, listening to the unusually inventive
596 chatter among the Inn's patrons.
597 "Nothing," he said softly, "like a little depression to make those creative
598 juices flow." His rumination slipped to more mundane things such as his latest
599 poem and the way candlelight shone through the bottom of his ale-mug. Juices
600 and tears, terrors and fears, words and rhythms and rhymes dancing with them,
601 and he felt that he was drawing on a great resivoir of creative juices, that
602 he had sunk his roots into...
603 He awoke from his reverie with a sloppy start, felt his toes squishing in
604 his boots, and looked down.
605 "Innkeeper! A towel over here, if you please; I seem to be at sea in the wash
606 of my fellow patrons' tears!"
607      && The Mad Actor &&
608 ^~^^^   Aha!  More txan just`txe two ob`us? (Jimbo mu}blesn..>.)
609 
610 -=*=- She winds silently between table legs, with upturned chin and -=*=-
611 -=*=- compassion in those glowing eyes, skirting the storytellers   -=*=-
612 -=*=- but drawing near to those troubled in spirit...This one feline-=*=-
613 -=*=- well remembers the deep, turbulent waters of despair; her eyes-=*=-
614 -=*=- bespeak a longing to release her friends from that prison--!  -=*=-
615 *****feelingbetter***waitingforthefuture**kathyd*****

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