591 lines
33 KiB
Plaintext
591 lines
33 KiB
Plaintext
LIST
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FILE ON
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MARGIN IS 80
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STATUS: ALL ALLOWED
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NUMBER OF LINES: 582
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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
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2 ********************* REMOVED: 19 MAR 84 *******************
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3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
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4 ************************************************************
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5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
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6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
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7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned
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8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
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9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
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10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
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11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
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12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
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13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
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14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
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15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
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16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
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17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
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18 ************************************************************
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19
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20 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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21 WOW! MY FIRST NEW DISK!
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22 OUTSIDER: CAN I PLEASE HEAR FROM YOU ON MY OFFER? I NEED TO KNOW QUICKLY!
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23 NINJA: I THINK I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS WIZARD. HERE IS THE PLAN...
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24 SIMPLY KNOCK HIM OUT, OR IN SOME WAY RESTRICT HIS MOVEMENTS. I HAVE NOT YET
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25 MET A WIZARD THAT CAN FUNCTION WITHOUT A LOT OF WIERD GESTURES AND SOUNDS.
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26 REMOVING HIS ABILITY TO DO THESE SHOULD STOP HIM. I WILL DISTRACT HIM WHILE YOU
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27 COME UP FROM BEHIND! I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
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28 BARD: THE NEWSLETTER "XIGNALS" IS HOLDING A LIMERIC CONTEST. I HEAR
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29 THAT MONEY IS INVOLVED. YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN THIS(OR ANY OTHER PEOPLE)
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30 JONATHAN CHANCE
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31 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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32
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33 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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34 FAST FRED:COME OVER HERE SO I CAN TALK TO YOU IN PRIVATE. HERE'S THE SITUATION:
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35 YOU SEEM TO BE VERY UN-COMMUNITIVE. SINCE I CAN'T GET INFORMATION FROM YOU
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36 I MUST GET IT ANOTHER WAY. EVER HEARD OF THE TERM SPY?!?!?
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37 IF LEROY IS WHAT HE SAYS, NO HARM DONE. IF NOT, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GAIN HARD
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38 EVIDENCE FOR THE ARREST. IF YOU BREATHE A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE, YOU
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39 WILL FIND OUT THAT A FLINTLOCK CAN KILL IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT WAYS, NOT ALL OF
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40 THEM PLEASANT. NOW, WILL YOU HELP ME OR NOT?????
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41 MONSIEUR D'AUTUN: THANKS FOR THE ACCEPTANCE. I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO
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42 MEET MR. MCKANE AND CONGRATULATE HIM IN PERSON. I WILL PAY ANY TRAVEL C
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43 MYSELF, AND LOOK FOWARD TO A FRUITFUL RELATIONSHIP.
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44 COMMANDER LACELLS
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45 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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46 HessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHessHess
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47 Dear frenchy:
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48 I am not a Wassir symp., I do not follow anyones orders.
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49 And in fact if Wassir really does have PAM, I most definately
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50 do not have any favorable thoughts for this person. I am
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51 currently holding McKane in disfavor for that little incident
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52 in Iran when he sold my nephew to the army as cannon fodder.
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53 By the way it is Rudolf, not Rudolph (I haven't spelled it that
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54 way since '46).
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55 Say, Dr. Frankenstupe, maybe we can see about getting a group
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56 together to combat this McKane persons lies and inuendos?
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57 Besides, I want to get him for what he did to my nephew.
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58 HessHessHessHessHessHessHess Rudolf HessHessHessHessHessHessHess
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59 ^^-^^^-^^^^^-^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^-^^-^^^-^^^^^
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60 What has happened to the Inn? Where is it? All I see here is a pit of
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61
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62 international espionage, etc. WHERE IS PAM???????????????????????????
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63 ^^-^^^-^^^^^-^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^^^-^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^-^^-^^^-^^^^^
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64 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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65 The piper stood silent for a while to let the effect of experiencing to
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66 realities at the same time reach some sort of equilibrium inside his spinning
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67 head. Finally he could pay some attention to something other than the sensat-
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68 ions pounding through his brain. With the double memories slowly accepting
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69 one another, he saw that he was back in the midst of several familiar-seemig
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70 companions on a brightly-colored road.
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71 "Uugmph" he remarked brightly. "Thanks, apprentice. If my personal reality
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72 had been split much longer, my sense of identity would have been totally
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73 destroyed. Have you noticed that the color scheme of the landscape has been
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74 changing?" He waved his hand in the direction of the green fields surrounding
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75 the party. The blue country lay mostly to his back.
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76 "I wish I could remember more Ozography. I do remember that the country is
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77 divided into four lands, each having a dominant color. The lands all meet
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78 in the center of the country where the capital is located. This small enclave
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79 is color coded green. This brilliant feat of deduction has led me to the
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80 conclusion that we are coming close to our goal."
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81 As they were talking, the party had become quite adept at moving in the same
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82 direction. They quickly moved through the land in the direction of a -- first
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83 distant, then not so distant -- gleaming green wall. The party proved itself
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84 not quite so adept at stopping as moving however. When the leading edge of
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85 the party walked up to a closed gate in the wall that blocked the road, those
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86 persons stopped. The remainder of the party attempted to continue, jostling
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87 those ahead and shortening a few tempers.
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88 After the confusion subsided somewhat, the piper glanced to the left f
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89 the road. A small door was just closing in the wall, after a strange figure
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90 that had just left. The piper quickly gained his companions' attention by
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91 the brilliant observation, " L .. l.. look!"
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92 The figure approaching them was about 5 feet tall and apparently made of
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93 solid copper. It's body was sperical and seemed to be made of two halves
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94 joined at the equator which served as the creature's waist. Two spindly legs
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95 issued from the lower hemisphere and two arms from the upper. A thin neck
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96 carried a spere upon which the outlines of a face had been molded, complete
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97 with a handlebar mustache. This (creature?) (contrivance?) topped it's
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98 sartorial splendor with a black derby hat perched precariously on its polished
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99 cranium. With faintly jerky motions, it moved closer to the party. The piper
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100 coul hear a very faint whirr coming from within it. The creature opened its
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101 mouth (migod! it does have a mouth!) and spoke.
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102 "well-come to oz gen-tel-men and lad-ies. i am tik-tok the off-ic-ial
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103 greet-er of oz. i am a mech-an-i-chal con-tri-vance and work by clock-work
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104 and am much less vul-ner-able that meat people to hos-tile ac-tion. I have
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105 been sent by my ruler Ozma, to as-cer-tain your in-ten-tions in this vis-it to
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106 our fair land." This strange person then removed the hat from his polished
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107 cpopper head and bowed low to the party.
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108 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
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109 GIVE ME A BREAK.
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110
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111
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112
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113 I AM BACK I think, I was dead but I am now alive
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114 I can not remember who I was. I (or more
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115 accurately we) seen to be hear with a ready made
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116
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personality [last time I take acid and try to fly
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117 did I) in Las Vegas]
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118
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But the real question is why am am I setting on a
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119 YELLOW?!? cobble road in a land rover.
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120
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121 Cap'n Crazy
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122 and his zillon zany zealot
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123 :*******************************************************:
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124
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125 ########################################################
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126 # MCKANE...A MAN TO TRUST, AN ORGANIZATION TO DEPEND ON #
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127 #########################################################
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128
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129 :********************************************************:
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130
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131 McKane: A man to distrust, an organization to fear!
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132
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133 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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134 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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135 Well, whadya know!!!! Just as I was beginning to think the zaniness would
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136 never end and there would be no coherence to the incoherence, we find our-
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137 selves at Oz and greeted by a cuprous Humptey-Dumpty! Harrummph! So
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138 much for us slab-sided types. Nonetheless, I am definitely beginning to
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139 think that Leroy McKane sucks air and that that Monsieur d'Autun is his
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140 stooge. I think I would rather take my chances with Humptey-Dumptey here
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141 than try to put up with the likes of McKane and his lackeys. If we hang
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142 around here long enough, we might get ballooned back to the Inn (so long
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143 as it's not in Kansas), in which case we might be able to handle McKane
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144 a little more on his own ground.
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145 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ GEEZER ++++++++++++++++++++++++
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146 Dear Rudolf;
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147 I'm sorry, I don't get involved in matters such as that. However, I'm
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148 sure that Wassir, Salazar, or most people in the main party traveling through
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149 Oz would be most pleased for your assistance. If you meet Wassir, tell him
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150 you're a friend of mine.
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151 Dr. Frankenstupe
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152 P.S. I thing I'm becoming a Backwater junkie... Hmmmmm....
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153 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
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154
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155 Consider the art of computer as weapon:
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156 It may be broken down into two broad categories, Hackdo and Hackjutsu.
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157 The difference between these two ideas may be illustrated thus:
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158 the disciple of hackjutsu is the one who develops facility with
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159 computers and uses it to break into someone else's system and causes
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160 damage there;
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161 the disciple of hackdo develops equal facility but does not engage
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162 in invasive/damaging computing. His satisfaction comes not from extreme
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163 action, but from knowing that he is capable of such action in self-defense.
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164 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ the microsensei /////////////////////
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165 /V.Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/z/X/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z?Z/Z/X/
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166 HELLO THEBE , I'@M /Z/ XENON ?Z//Z/Z/Z//Z/Z'x.Z/Z/Z/Z/
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167
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168 AND I KEEp GETTING BAD AHCRACTARC BACK DRO] THAS SYRTEM
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169 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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170 does the above person have a computer problem, or is he in another reality?
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171 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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172 I turned back to the commander. "Do you have any other hobbies
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173 besides making threats? That's about all you've done since
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174 your arrival. I really don't know where McKane is. If you want to
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175 get in touch with him, go through that frenchman contact of his. Rumor
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176 has it you've already talked to him, so why keep badgering me."
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177 "Besides," I added, "in case you don't remember, these people
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178 are after me too, although they don't seem to pay much attention to
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179 me except to make sure of my location. A bunch of paranoid wackos if
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180 you ask me."
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181 Fast Fred
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182 BSAL
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183 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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184 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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185 I STILL DON'T KNOW WHICH SIDE TO JOIN UP ON....... I HAVE A PLAN TO
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186 GET THIS "PAM" BACK, WHOEVER SHE (HE?) MIGHT BE...
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187 SOUNDS LIKE THE COMMANDER WANTS TO MEET LEROY IN ORDER TO DO BODILY
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188 DAMAGE TO HIM. HE SOUNDS TOO ACCOMMODATING ABOUT THE TRAVEL COSTS.
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189 THE MONSIEUR MIGHT DO WELL TO KEEP HIM AT ARM'S LENGTH.
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190 MR. T.
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191 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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192 NET 1 to all NETWORK members:
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193 It seems that McKane has chosen to disregard the PUBLIC warning given
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194 by our rivals (the SOCIETY OF ASSASSINS). He is also attempting to tie some
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195 of our operatives to the Albanians.
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196 Prepare for active anit-McKane measures.
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197 || | ||| || || ||||| | | | || |
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198 0101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101
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199 The bard turned on the commander, "ALL RIGHT! That's just about enough
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200 of that...."
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201 Reaching into his pack he removed a strange assemblage of wires.
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202 "I trust that you recognize AKKA?"
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203 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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204 Does anyone ELSE remember AKKA?
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205 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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206 Sail for Amber (words & music: Jordin Kare)
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207 We sail for Amber, on the seas beyond the world.
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208 Set sail for Amber, on a ship thru Shadow hurled!
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209 Kolvir behind us, Cabra passing a-lee,
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210 Shadow before us, to the ends of the endless sea.
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211
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212 We are the men who sail for Amber,
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213 Let our wives and lovers tell,
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214 For when the call goes out that we leave at the dawning
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215 They are bid but brief farewell.
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216
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217 Then we lift our anchor, and slip from the harbor
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218 On our journey now begun,
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219 And the Unicorn flag flies from our masthead,
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220 Proud in the morning sun!
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221 CHORUS:We sail for Amber, on the seas beyond the world.
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222 Set sail for Amber, on a ship thru Shadow hurled!
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223 All hands climb high as we spread our wings,
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224 White sail o'er violet seas,
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225 And our helmsman steers by the blood of princes
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226 As we drift on a Shadow's breeze.
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227
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228 But it's watch on watch when the storm clouds gather
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229 And the thunder fills the fills the sky.
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230 Before the gales that roar from reality's rim
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231 Down the world-shifting winds we fly!
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232 CHORUS
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233 'Til at last we spy, on shifting horizon,
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234 Some strange and foreign land,
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235 And the wreck of war, or a virgin forest,
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236 Or the towers of a city grand.
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237
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238 Then it's gold for grain, red wine for rubies;
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239 Barter, buy, and sell,
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240 'Til our holds stand full and full and the salt sea calls us
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241 With a cry that we know full well.
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242
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243
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244 So from port to port we wander Shadow,
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245 Steered by our captain's will,
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246 And a hundred legends behind us gather
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247 Of a ghost ship wandering still.
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248 CHORUS
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249 Though tomorrow's voyages call to our souls,
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250 And will not be long denied,
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251 Yet tonight our sails seek home and haven ---
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252 And our hulls a familar tide.
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253
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254 So we steer for the center of the Universe, laden
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255 With the wealth of a thousand lands,
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256 To the hurricane's core, where, calm in Chaos,
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257 Amber forever stands!
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258 CHORUS
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259 And at last, when Kolvir clears the horizon,
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260 Comes our lookout's joyful cry,
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261 And the gulls of the harbor rise in greeting --
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262 Gray wings in an evening sky.
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263
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264 And we pledge our lives, as we moor 'neath the mountain,
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265 Here at the heart of all,
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266 While we've water and wind, sail searoom,
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267 Amber shall never fall!
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268 We sail for Amber, on the seas beyond the world.
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269 Set sail for Amber, on a ship through shadow hurled!
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270 Kolvir before us, Cabra to windward be,
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271 Shadow behind us -- always behind us -- waiting behind us
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272 To the ends of the endless sea!
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273 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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274 (Sniff!) Sorry.... but it does bring back memories, doesn't it Piper?
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275 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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276 HAM RADIO OPERATORS PLEASE NOTE========== I'M LOOKING FOR A 4 OR 5 BAND
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277 TRAPPED VERTICAL IN GOOD CONDITION NATURALLY AT A REASONABLE PRICE. IF
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278 YOU HAVE ONE OF THESE FOR SALE PLEASE CALL ME AT 399-xxxx SALEM
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279
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280 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++THANKS TERRY+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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281 ***************************************************************************
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282 Attention Earthlings:
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283
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284 While monitoring earth communcations techniques we chanced upon this media
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285 I am somewhat confused. Computers on our planet Mxyzptlkizar are logical
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286 and predictable. This technique for public communications using the
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287 computer is totally out of our realm of reality. We are not sure if this
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288 can be allowed. We will be reporting our findings to our Imperial Megyesi
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289 at our earliest convenience. This may take a few lunar rotations however
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290 and if the reality levels of this media assume normal paramaters the report
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291 may not be necessary. I would not want to incure the wrath of the Imperial
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292 Megyesi. As you earthlings would say "A word to the in intelligent should
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293 be enough.
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294
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295 Snrub Regor
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296
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297 Grand Gnob
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298
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299 of
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300
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301 It's Imperial Megyesi's Psuedo-Secret Province
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302
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303 ****************************************************************************
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304
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305 "Well, Johnathon, it shouldn't be much..."
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306 My words are cut short as we come to a green wall.
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307 "Good job," sneered Johnathon Chance, "Where have you taken us to? Get
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308 us out of this one."
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309 "I told you I knew the way," I say as a move a shrub aside."Walla. Open
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310 entrance heading straight where we want to go--wizard's lair."
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311 After about 10 feet of tunnel, we come to an opening right in the Wizard's
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312 lab. My eyes wondor over to the side near us. Floating mid-air is the jewel!
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313 "This will be cake. I'll just wondor over and grab it."
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314 Before Johnathon can object, I'm already moving silently across the lab.
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315 Smiling with my ingeniousness, I grab the jewel and tuck it into my robe.
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316 Krrrrraaaaazzzzzzaaaaaapppppp!
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317 The Wizard didn't think so much. It appears as if he petrified me. Last
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318 I checked, The only way out of this one is dousing in frsh squeezed O.J.
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319 coming from an orange from Uganda. As I drift off into sleep, I try and
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320 send a telepathic message.
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321 #Johnathon Chance, I have the jewel. The Wizard is here. Try and steel
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322 me away before those other bozos get here. Hide me and then get some
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323 orange juice from Uganda.#
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324 The Ninja
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325 P.S. I'll be gone until Monday.
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326 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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327 P.P.S. Sorry if I offended anyone, but this story needed a little something
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328 What in the name of GOD has gone on here?? It looks
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329 like MAIDS (Modem Affliction and Intellegence Deficiency
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330 Syndrome) has shown its' ugly head here...
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331
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332 What is needed is a little pizzaz...
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333 -----------------------------------------------
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334 Do you need a job...
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335 Then send me a loan of $10000 (interest free)
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336 and you can go to work for the federal government
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337 in any position you want. Be a paper shuffler or
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338 a big decision maker (like the President).
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339
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340 Send now to
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341 ED MEESE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY
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342
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343 WASHINGTON, DC 10231
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344
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345 Act now...position are filling up fast...
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346 -----------------------------------------------
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347 Are you losing those early primaries and caucuses?
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348 Has your campaign lost its' zip? Are you tired of
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349 saying "Where's the beef?" Then you need to join...
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350
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351 P-N-F (People Named Fritz)...
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352
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353 We are a group of hard working, loyal fools that
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354 want nothing more that to take over the USA through
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355 election. There are more than 10,000,000 Fritz's
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356 in this country and we need to show our political
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357 power...JOIN TODAY...
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358
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359 PNF
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360 C/O Walter Mondale
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361
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362 WISCONDA, MINNESOTA 53232
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363
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364 Send today....
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365 ------------------------------------------------
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366 The above messages were brought to you by
|
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367 BIG BROTHER
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368
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369 I have returned to the INN to take
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370 control....I AM WATCHING...
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371 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= BIG INC... =-=-=
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372 Dear Bard:
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373 You said that the words and music to your latest song were written
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374 by 'Jordin Kare.' Well, I knew a Jordin Kare a long time ago in a galaxy
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375 far, far away. Could it be the same one? The one I knew went (as I did) to
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376 a college in Massachusetts affectionately called the 'Tute.'
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377 ----------------------------------------------------- P. V. Jeltz ----------
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378 ****************************************************************************
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379 Snrub Regor is watching you...............................................
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||
380 ****************************************************************************
|
||
381 Scoff not lower life forms
|
||
382 ****************************************************************************
|
||
383 #Ignore him, Jonathon. It's a trap. No wizard worth the name would
|
||
384 leave such a thing so open and unguarded. The Ninja should be told that
|
||
385 he's holding a phony. Don't tell him where you found out.#
|
||
386 10110011000110100010110101 ? 10110100010110011000110100010110101000101101000
|
||
387 EXIT
|
||
388 PRINT
|
||
389
|
||
390 THE LIGHT DAWNS...
|
||
391 I UNDERSTAND SOMETHING ELSE NOW THAT EXPLAINS WHY
|
||
392 I AM SITTING IN A RED LLAND ROVER(RED ROVER,RED ROVER...)
|
||
393 ON A RAD MADE OF COBBLESONES RADIATING IN THE 6K ANGSTROM FIELD
|
||
394 NOT KNOWING WHO WE ARE BUT THIS ENLIGHTENS ME,I FOUND THE OWNERS MANUAL!!
|
||
395 AND IT SAYS...I'VE HAD MY PERSONALITY SPLIT INTO A ZILLION PARTS,2 OF
|
||
396 WHICH CAN EXIST AT ANY ONE TIME.AND RIGHT NOW I'M RUNNING ON THE DOMMINANT
|
||
397 ONE(CAP'N CRAZY) AND THE SECONDARY(RED LAND ROVER)
|
||
398 BUT WHY DO I HAVE THIS URGE TO DRIVE OVER TO THAT FIELD OF...
|
||
399 POPPIES,POPPIES,POPPIES,poppies,poppies.(FADE AT 3 db PER STEP)
|
||
400 YOU NEVER WALK ALONE
|
||
401 CAP'N CRAZY
|
||
402
|
||
403 AND THE ZILLION ZANY ZEALOTS
|
||
404 BOARDERBOARDERBOARDERBOARDERBOARDER
|
||
405 Hello all!
|
||
406 mr.mckane:when do i get my first assignment? do i distribute meta-barbie
|
||
407 dolls?
|
||
408 Jonathan Chance:no reports as of yet
|
||
409 bBOARDERBOARDERBOARDERBOARDERBOARDER
|
||
410 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
||
411 WHAT STUPID FOOLS!
|
||
412 THEY THINK THAT THEY CAN JUST COME IN AND STEAL THE PHONEX EGG FROM ME
|
||
413 .. THE WIZARD..HOW PREPOSTEROUS,WHEN I STOP LAUGHING I'LL
|
||
414 PUT THE NINJA BACK AT THE INN AND LET THE OTHERS HAVE A CHANCE.
|
||
415 ::::::::::::::::::::::::THE WIZARD:::::::::
|
||
416
|
||
417 NOW HOW DO I GET THIS PERSONALITY INTO GEAR???
|
||
418
|
||
419 CAP'N CRAZY
|
||
420
|
||
421
|
||
422 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
||
423 Hello people,remember me,i've been away for a long time
|
||
424 perhaps somebody can tell me who the outsider is?
|
||
425 who all of thease new people are???
|
||
426 Bard:when do I get the prefix?
|
||
427 The Man in Gray
|
||
428 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
||
429 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
|
||
430 BARD: SOMETHING MUST BE LOST IN THE TRANSLATION. THAT AKKA LOOKS FAMILAR
|
||
431 BUT I AM NOT SURE. I AM SURE THAT I DON'T LIKE THE TONE OF YOUR VOICE.
|
||
432 PLEASE CLARIFY(SOON!).
|
||
433 FAST FRED: TRY TO LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY CLOSELY:
|
||
434 W H A T S I D E A R E Y O U O N???
|
||
435 I DON'T WANT TO THREATEN YOU, BUT I NEED TO GET MY JOB DONE AND GET OUT
|
||
436 OF HERE. THE QUICKEST WAY TO DO THIS IS INSIDE HELP. YOU SEEM TO HAVE A
|
||
437 PROBLEM WITH LEROY, SO I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HELP ME. IF YOU WON'T HELP,
|
||
438 THEN GOOD-BYE FOR NOW! IF YOU WILL, LET'S BE FRIENDS.(I LOWER AND SLING THE FLINTLOCK, HOLDING OUT MY HAND IN FRIENDSHIP)
|
||
439 SNRUB REGOR: HA HA HA HA! THE INTERSTELLAR FOUNDATION FOR MUTUAL PROTECTION
|
||
440 LAUGHS AT YOUR ATTEMPTS. LOOK UP THE WAR OF 18463. YOU DON'T SCARE ANYONE.
|
||
441 LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I TRIED TO INTERFERE. JUST CLEAR OUT, AS
|
||
442 "I'M WORKING THIS SIDE OF THE GALAXY".
|
||
443 COMMANDER LACELLS
|
||
444 ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
|
||
445 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
|
||
446 ALL: THESE REALITY SHIFTS MUST BE IMPARING SPELLING SKILLS.
|
||
447 MY NAME IS SPELLED JONATHAN CHANCE.
|
||
448 THINK YOU CAN GET IT RIGHT, PLEASE????
|
||
449
|
||
450 I THINK THAT THE EGG IS REAL, OR WHY WOULD IT BE SO PROTECTED?!?!?
|
||
451 I HAPPEN TO TRUST THE NINJA, SO I WILL TRY TO HELP HIM. LET'S SEE....
|
||
452 AH! A MAIL ORDER CATALOG IS WHAT I NEED. (POP!) ORANGES, ORANGES, ORAN-
|
||
453 HERE IT IS! FRESH ORANGES FROM UGANDA. WILL DELIVER BY MONDAY. SOUNDS ALL
|
||
454 RIGHT TO ME! I'LL TAKE 10....
|
||
455 I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF SOME OF THE BOOKS IN THE WIZARD'S LAB AS I
|
||
456 "ADVANCED TOWARDS THE REAR". ONE LOOKED GOOD,"THE HOW AND WHY OF ENSCORELL-
|
||
457 MENT" SINCE LOCATION SEEMS TO BE NO OBJECT, LET'S TRY MY TALENT.
|
||
458 BUT FIRST, SOME RUBBER GLOVES. THERE NOW LET'S TRY THAT!
|
||
459 (THE BOOK STARTS TO FADE IN, OBVIUOSLY HAVING PROBLEMS. I STRAIN TO MY
|
||
460 LIMIT, WONDERING IF IT WILL BE WORTH ALL THIS EFFORT, OR WILL IT EVEN
|
||
461 SUCCEED? I HOPE SO!.....)
|
||
462 JONATHAN CHANCE
|
||
463 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
|
||
464 &^%$%^&*()(*&^%$^&()@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$##$%^&*()_)(&#$%^&*()(*&^$###$%^&*
|
||
465 UPI - KANSASA large structure bearing the name, "Backwater
|
||
466 Inn," was found deposited in a cornfield 24 miles north
|
||
467 of Topeka. I was apparently dropped there by the largest
|
||
468 tornado to rip through Kansas since the filming of a
|
||
469 Judy Garland film some 45 years ago. One girl suffered
|
||
470 minor head injuries in the first tornado. No persons
|
||
471 were found in the building, but, by the number of ales
|
||
472 half consumed inside it is estimated that there were
|
||
473 approximately 26 people inside when the tornado touched
|
||
474 down in Portland, Oregon some four days ago.
|
||
475 In an apparently related story, FBI and Federal
|
||
476 Marshals have reason to believe that a possible kidnap
|
||
477 victim (identified only as Pam) could be in the vicinity
|
||
478 of the relocated Inn.
|
||
479 )(**&^^$$%^&*()*&^%$%^&^%$#@#$#@!#$%^&*()(*&*()_)(*&^&*&^%$#$%^&*()(*&^%$*
|
||
480 Commander: if the Bard is really in posseession of AKKA, I would suggest
|
||
481 that you don't cross him. Charles Anthar (of the Green Hall, you
|
||
482 may remember), while incarcerated on Pluto, forced the Emperor
|
||
483 Adam the Third to abdicate and restore democracy to the System. He did this using the simple device called AKKA.
|
||
484
|
||
485 Bard: are you an ancestor of Aladoree Anthar, or a minion of
|
||
486 Eric Ulnar? In fact, since there seems to be such doubt about your
|
||
487 true identity, perhaps you're Eric himself!
|
||
488 I manage to follow most of your references, but what is the
|
||
489 origin of the BOLO? I know I've read it somewhere, but cannot remember
|
||
490 where. I though Dorsai, or Pournelle, but could find them in neither
|
||
491 place. Enlighten me, Oh plier of words!
|
||
492
|
||
493 Snrub Regor, Grand Gnob. Looks like Roger Burns, grand bong to me.
|
||
494 :::::::::::::::::O O:::::::voyeur:::::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::::::
|
||
495 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
|
||
496 Bard: Please be careful where you point that thing. Yes I vaguely remember
|
||
497 AKKA (enough to be impressed if that is necessary). Please don't point it down
|
||
498 as I would like a place to stand if it accidentally goes off. Up is not too
|
||
499 good either -- I never did have a hankering to see a nova first hand.
|
||
500 The copper being interrupted. "ex-cuse me gen-tel-men but my gracious ruler
|
||
501 wish-es to know your in-ten-tions. we have no par-ti-cu-lar fear of any out-
|
||
502 side weapons as our par-tic-u-ar re-al-
|
||
503 i-ty is main-tained by the be-lief of
|
||
504 mill-ons of litt-le chil-dren. This pow-er-ful force is quite en-ough to be
|
||
505 proof against a few dis-org-an-ized com-pu-ter us-ers!". The copper being
|
||
506 drew himself upward and seemed to be looking down his copper-colored nose at
|
||
507 the party. "as a mat-ter of fact, if it were up to me, you would be ap-ply-ing
|
||
508 for en-trance to the city at the ser-vants door!"
|
||
509 The piper turned to the meatal man and spoke, "Please excuse our unorganized
|
||
510 appearance and actions, Tic-Tok. I, myself, have been a follower of the Oz
|
||
511 books in childhood. Their recollection is somewhat garbled in my memory,
|
||
512 however. Our intentions as a group are honorable -- we seek to find the source
|
||
513 of an incursion of high-tech weaponry into the placid reality of the inn we
|
||
514 often frequent. However (glancing at the bard) we sometimes forget our purpose
|
||
515 and get sidetracked into other pursuits. We were attempting to consult the
|
||
516 wizard as to how to find and put a stop to such incursions into formerly
|
||
517 peaceful surroundings. Many members of our party seem to be exhibiting tenden-
|
||
518 cies toward violence that normally do not surface. In addition, I believe that
|
||
519 some others whose motives may not be so pure are gathering like vultures who
|
||
520 surround a thirstly man in the desert. Their purpose seems to be to incite
|
||
521 violence and feed off the leavings. I and I hope most of the other more
|
||
522 peacably inclined persons still hope to accomplish our original purpose ---
|
||
523 MAKE THE BACKWATER SAFE FOR INANITY!"
|
||
524 With these words, the piper struck an impressive pose, his pipes slung under
|
||
525 his left arm with the drones horizontal and pointing forward, head thrown back
|
||
526 and gazing upward, his right arm held up and forward, forefinger extended.
|
||
527 ------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
528 Well, here it is St. Patty's day! So for you Irish types out there;
|
||
529 Erin Go Braugh
|
||
530 And for the Irish women libbers;
|
||
531 Erin Go Braless
|
||
532 -----------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
533 Personally,I think that you are all gone crazy! What is going on here? Is everyone gone mad? SHAOLIN
|
||
534 && && &&
|
||
535 It was a queit spring afternoon, and the Inn was empty save for the Innkeeper himself as the robed man swept in
|
||
536 and quickly shut the door on the still-chilly air outside.
|
||
537 "Ah! It's good to be back! I'll bet you don't even remember me. I was here but once before, a couple months back."
|
||
538 "There IS something familiar about your face. Weren't you with that party that went off to stop the weapons-
|
||
539 smugglers? It's been Much quieter in the Inn since that belligerent lot took off."
|
||
540 "Why, no sir. I've been here but once. I broke into a political argument with a love sonnet I'd just written.
|
||
541 When they threw things at me afterwards, I chose not to return. I heard that things had changed, so I have returned."
|
||
542 "That's funny, I thought you were the one who got all of them all excited to go in the first place."
|
||
543 "Nope. Got the wrong fellow. Now, may I please have seven ales? A Poet gets thirsty, you know."
|
||
544 && The Mad Actor &&
|
||
545
|
||
546 The Poet looked down at the Ninja writhing on the floor. The young ones sure didn't show much sense, sometimes.
|
||
547 "Hey! Ninja! The Wizard is not a violent person. He wouldn't hurt someone for just grabbing a jewel hanging in
|
||
548 front of their face. This's probably just some sorcerous form of hypnotism, meant to hold you here. Try letting the
|
||
549 gem GO.
|
||
550 "Nobody touch him. If it is a spell, it probably extends through physical contact."
|
||
551 && The Mad Actor &&
|
||
552 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
553 HUH, WHAT THIS?!?!? WHERE IS I? I WAS SITTING IN A BAR, MINDING MY OWN
|
||
554 BUSINESS, WHEN SOMEBODY RUN UP SHOUTING"CANDYGRAM! CANDYGRAM FOR MONGO!"
|
||
555 MONGO LIKES CANDY. MONGO TOOK THE CANDY, AND BANG! MONGO WAS HERE! WHERE
|
||
556 IS HERE? WHERE BULL? BULL NOT HERE. MAYBE OUTSIDE! OOPS, THERE GO DOOR!
|
||
557 NO NEED DOOR. THROW IT AWAY. WHERE BULL?THERE MAN ON METAL BULL. GO SEE HIM.
|
||
558 "HEY MAN! YOU KNOW WHERE BULL IS? YOU SEEN BULL? WHERE BULL?"
|
||
559 MAN JUST SIT THERE, STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD. MAN NOT ANSWER. WHY NOT ANSWER?
|
||
560 MONGO
|
||
561 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
|
||
562
|
||
563 Obviously, Mongo--- man is merely SITTING,BULL
|
||
564 has been running...when will you learn, little buttercup?
|
||
565 ME NO UNDERSTAND. WHAT MEAN SITTING BULL AND BUTTERCUP? ME MONGO.
|
||
566 ===============================================================================
|
||
567 Attention COMMANDER LACELLS and voyeur:
|
||
568
|
||
569 Your apparent lack of regard for earlier transmissions is intolerable. It's
|
||
570 Imperial Megyesi will not be amused. Also your feeble attempts at cryptography
|
||
571 with my name and title are unnecessary. Transmissions are uncoded to enable
|
||
572 understanding even with the backwards technology of the garbage dump you call
|
||
573 a planet. I dluoc etirw gnihtyreve sdrawkcab tub ouy era oot diputs ot daer ti.
|
||
574 Snrub Regor
|
||
575
|
||
576 Grand Gnob
|
||
577
|
||
578 Of It's Megyesi's Pseudo-Secret-Province
|
||
579
|
||
580 ================================================================================
|
||
581 SNRUB--NAC I
|
||
582 ?"?"?"?"YBBA RAED
|
||
|
||
> |