343 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
343 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
NOTE: This file has been modified per request. Originals are available in the
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archives and in a hidden directory. - Jason Scott
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------------[ w0ol #11: how nettle hax0red the FBI ]------------------------
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ever since i hax0red the fbi i haven't had much time to run around and
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write for w0ol, cause i've been runnin' frum da law, y0. so i've had some
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trouble gettin' to mah computah! now im gonna tell you how i managed to
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hax0r the fbi with such ease and style, fewl.
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-------------------[ eleet! ]-----------------------------------------------
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yes. i was elite. hax0ring the fbi isn't easy if you're LAME. duh. so
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here is my elite nfo on how to hax0r the fbi.
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--------[ fbihax0r.nfo ]----------------------------------------------------
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,----.
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: by : nettle
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: to : public
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: re : hax0ring the fbi
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: y? : for fun!
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`----'
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first: i take no responsibilty if someoen actually hax0rs the fbi, agian,
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like i did, for some weird reason such as i told them how.
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one: on with the wacky-elite! ok, first you're going to need a tv, if you
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don't have one then STEAL ONE, duh, now wait till friday, at friday turn
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the tv on and watch chan 5 until the X-Files comes on, while the intro is
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running wit the rad music you'll see two fbi-pass-things! if you aren't
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k-rad enought to catch them and draw one then here is a subst.
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,--------------------------.
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: fbi pass thing :
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:--------------------------:
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: your name your age :
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: your bday your addrs :
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: your phone logo :
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`--------------------------'
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simply print this issue and fill in the infoes, oh, and the FBI PASS
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THING should be BLUE at the top, and replace everything with the correct
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stuff, and for the logo put in this:
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$$$$$$ $$$$$$. $$$$$$$
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$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$$ $$$$$$' $$$
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$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$ $$$$$$' $$$$$$$
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execpt write 'elite' for every line, that way when someone looks at it
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they are subconciously mezmerised by elitness, and they let you in.
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tew: go to the s3cr3t fbi headquarters, show them your pass, now you have
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3lyt3 access, what i did was go around pissing in people's coffee, i'm
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sure you can think of something fun to do at the fbi buttquarters!
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--------------------------[ spd. lmt. wrz. ]---------------------------------
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wow! we're groovin' now! ok, hmmmm, so uhm, wow, i'm so bored.. let me think.
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well
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one day i was groovin' (see previous sentence!) and i kinda just grooved
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my way over to the snacks, and munched a few down, and then i grooved my
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way back to my lifelong companion fil. fil gets pissed when people call
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him phil so i avoided it. divergent.
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------------[ wha? ]--------------------------------------------------------
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sell your shoes.
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"what?"
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i mean it.
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"uhm."
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sell them.
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"why?"
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because. you don't understand.
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"uhhh"
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S-E-L-L. Y-O-U-R. S-H-O-E-S.
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"ok!"
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now thats much better!
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[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[- inverse -]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
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dummerkawn 31337: diz stuff!#
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ok, as you all know mogel postponed dummercon one day, and after he was
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sure that nobody who was supposed to come from 908 would hUMANLy be
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able to make it he reinstated it, therefore causing a PROBLEM, namely
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many of us MISSED THE FUCKING THING!# i was unaffected because i couldn't
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go anyway, cause my mom sucks, but i decided to do you all a favor and
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have dummerkawn 31337 at my house! err.. in my town!# whichever my mom
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lets me!#
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---------------------------------------------- [ 31337 ] ---------------------
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$$$$$. $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$$$$ $$$$. $$ $$ ,$$$. $$ $$ $$ $$
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ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$$sss$$$s$$$sss$$$s$$ssss$$s$$s$$ $$s$$ $$s$$sssssss$$s$$$ss$$
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ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$s$s$s$$s$$s$s$s$$s$$ggss$$$$'s$$g$'s$$$$$s$$sssssss$$s$$s$s$$
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ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$ss$ss$$s$$ss$ss$$s$$""ss$$s$$s$$"$.s$$s$$ss$$ss$ss$$ss$$ss$$$
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ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$sssss$$s$$sssss$$s$$ssss$$s$$s$$s$$s$$s$$ss$$s$s$s$$ss$$sss$$
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$$$$$' `$$$' $$ $$ $$ $$ $$$$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$
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------------------ [ 31337 ] -------------------------------------------------
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somewhere in that mess it says "DUMMERKAWN 31337" so just let it be known
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that dummerkawn SURPASSES dummercon in eliteness. phear. so check this
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nfo out.
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dummerkawn will either be in nettle's house [EDITED OUT]
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or in nettle's town [EDITED OUT]
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so you'd better be there! more 'leet info will filter down into your
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scummy hands as it becomes avaliable to y0! hmm, some elite things
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expected to happen:
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#zines people to show up
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aim people YOU DON'T KNOW but i do to show up
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funeral procession, for NOBODY!
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looking at my computer.
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walking around my town.
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paying for your own food.
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the slaughter of certain indivituals upon arrival!
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fun!
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games!
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it will ROCK!#
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so bring your angst!
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bring your warez!#
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OOH! OOH!
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if it takes place in my house we will have the SUPER elite plug in
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special, bring your desktop or laptop! we have plenty of lightsockets!
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and stuff!# we can net dewm tew!@# modem!# just bring lots of cables and
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lan cards for us to hax0r!# bring your music!# bring your elite shirts
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ect!# just remember : YOU MUST GO :
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-----------------; phear ;---------------------------------------------------
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teehee!# hmmm, so now that you know that elite stuff i guess you should
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decide to go.
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wow, hmm, i know something is missing here.. oh yeah!#
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ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
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woo woo!3
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---------------[ yuck f4c3s ]------------------------------------------------
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@&!# well son, it takes tons of pratice 5#%.
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| oO and attendance to dummerkawn OO %
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| > \ < |
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| o - ascii man! how do you become so elite? O |
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\--/ \--/
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@&!# i just put on my super 5#%.
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| Oo goggles and mouthmask 00 %
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| > \ < |
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| o - wow, i love you man! = |
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\--/ \--/
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@&!#
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| oo
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| > kewlie! show me some more triqs!
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| O /
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\--/
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sure thing! after all, you won /***\
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the MEET ASCII MAN contest fair [p] |
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and squar. < |
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\ [ %|
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/ `===/
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this is my sheild face.
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it has laz3r eyes and a
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protector for my mouth/
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face. it is super-cool!
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5#%.
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pd %
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, K |
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`-- |
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\--/
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"now im smoking pot!"
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"woah."
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"heheheheh."
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5#%.
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,' pd %
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'` K |
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,`-- |
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\--/
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"uh, you can stop now."
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"hah!"
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`o',
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@&!# // 5#%.
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| oO // OO %
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| > / < |
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| / O |
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\--/ \--/
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* SMACK *
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@&!# 5#%.
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| oO OO %
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| > \ < |
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| / \\ O |
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\--/ \\ \--/
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,/,\
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* SMACK *
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@&!# ,&%.
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| oO O0-|
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| > < |
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| \ O |
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\--/ \--/
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"holy shit man!# you're phorce!#"
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"uhh AHH!#!@ NOOO!#!@"
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"you are!# YAY!#@ WE LOVE YOU!#"
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"bastard."
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------------------------[ wow, phorce = ascii man! ]-------------------------
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so uhm, i guess EVERYTHING is solved, nothing left to do but the enevidable..
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------------------[ n03 ]----------------------------------------------------
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i get contacts soon.
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wow. _,_
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.' '.
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`,_ _,'
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'
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not to say that looked like a contact
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_,_
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.'g. '.
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`,%'_,'
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'
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pewp.
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hmm.
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dumdeedoo
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.----.
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)))(((
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/' `\
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| Beck's |
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| from |
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| across |
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| the |
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| seas |
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`--------'
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MINIMUM WAGE!#! HIIIIIIIIYA!#!
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$$$$$$. $$$$. $$$$$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$ $$$ $$$$' $$$ $$$$$$$
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$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$$$' $$$$' $$$ $$$ $$$ . iRc
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[init d3thc0d3]
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###.
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$$$$]
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###'
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woah
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hotdog.
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,######.
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[$$$$$$$$]
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`######'
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n'stuff
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so uhm
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this is available only on closed caption units.
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-----------[ end ]-----------------------------------------------------------
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---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +----------------------------------
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ok, another one!
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---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------
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this is so you can find them:
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#1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle)
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#2: the electric santa (nettle)
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#3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle)
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#4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle)
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#5: no comprende? (nettle)
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#6: the annual collage issue (nettle)
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#7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ (nettle)
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#8: we force you into unbearable positions (nettle)
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#9: a in-depth look at why my life sucks (nettle)
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#10: big smelly dogs are my heroes and stuff (phorce)
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#11: how nettle hax0red the FBI (nettle)
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wow
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-------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------
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nettle
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(what?)
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phorce
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(too 'leet for speech!)
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ascii man
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(SECRETLY PHORCE!#)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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nettle:
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nettle@novasys.com
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nettle@nevermind.lag.novasys.com
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nettle@nexxus.novasys.com
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thats it..
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-----------------------+ useless archives +----------------------------------
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ftp:
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nevermind.lag.novasys.com : /pub/w0ol
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landslide.openix.com : /ftp/phorce/w0ol
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morse code:
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the top of springfield avenu, ill have a flashing light there encoding
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w0ol 24/7.
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if you would like to contact w0ol send email to
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w0ol@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, if you want to have a letter displaayed
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in one of our issues as a question/comment type thing, email
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w0ol-2@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, if you would like me to murder your
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parents email parent@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, thank you.
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phone: if you'd like to CALL me, i am [EDITED OUT], have fun.
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