198 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
198 lines
7.8 KiB
Plaintext
-------------------------[ w0ol #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ ]----------
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hey, how can you get enough? ok, so im here writing for you, im your
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slave, if you were here you could whip me and say "MAKE IT FUNNY!#@@#!"
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then id be forced to drop my keyboard, because i know im not funny. hmmmm
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blah woo. hmm
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--------------[ shut up and say something ]----------------------------------
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Daan was a good little boy, like all good little boys he liked things,
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Daan liked to play the trumpet, Daan liked to play with his dog, and Daan
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liked Haagen Daas. One day while taking a shower Daan got something in
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his eye, probably an eyelash, he screamed and jumped out of the shower
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and tried to get it out, but he couldnt, only by shifting his eyelid
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could he get the pain to go away. Daan finished his shower, ate
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breakfast, and went to school. Daan was pretty much OK in 1st period,
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English, where he blinked quite a bit, after a while the teacher asked
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him in nice tones, "How is your eye?", to this he replied "My eye is ok,
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i guess.", she went on, and the bell rang, he darted out into the crowded
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hall and to his second period class, Social Studies, nothing much
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happened in social studies that day, so he fell asleep, he awoke to the
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bell ringing and his teacher saying some homework, he ran to the next
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class, Musical Studies, where his eye began to twitch, after 20 minutes
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he couldnt hold in the pain anymore, "Teacher, can i go to the nurse, i
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have something in my eye.", she Ok'd and wrote him a pass, he ran to the
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nurses and stepped inside, in the room were needles, gausse, the works,
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when the nurse appeared he told her about his condition and she told him
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to lie down, she went into the supply room and got a tweezer, she came
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back out and told him, "Im going to bend your eyelid back, ok? it wont
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hurt." so he allowed her to, she instantly saw the small object in his
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eye and began to carefully take it out, after about 6 minutes he began to
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open his mouth, then he began to sniff alot, she told him, "Only a few
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more seconds.", but a few more seconds was too long, he sneezed. As his
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face lurched forward, his eye met the tweezer with great force, before
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the nurse could do anything he was on the floor writhing in pain, the
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tweezer deeply embedded in his eye socket. She tried to remove it but he
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wouldnt let her, as she began to get at it he kicked her and split, he
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ran down the hall, blood dripping from his face, out the door, to the
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street. Daan was scared, he started to run and run, finally he crashed
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into something, it was a phone pole, he could only do one thing, he
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hugged the phone pole. Daan was found later that day, crying and hugging
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the phone pole, when they got him to the hospital he was faint from blood
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loss, as they wheeled him into his room a doctor came and in started to
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spary the ants which were crawling all over his body. They could never
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determine if he had died because of the eye wound or his allergic
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reaction to fire ants.
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---------------------------[ morbid ]-------------------------------------
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wowie, no, it sucked. ok, hmm, well, this is w0ol #7 and there is a joke
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in this issue, so ill tell you it, uh, a man and a fish are walking
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towards a small tissue, which gets there first?
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<thinking>
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THE MAN YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE@%#$%@^# FISH CANT WALK!&^%#&^%# ARGH!#!
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HOW STUPID ARE YOU!@ I CANT BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT A FISH COULD WALK TO A
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TISSUE#@! PLUS WHAT WOULD IT DO WITH THE TISSUE@#?!
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ok sorry, thats not the joke, the real joke is.... 45C!! M4N, our new hero
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.
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aaad&$&b
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O . #
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Z ` #
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- *
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&$&
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&$$$&
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~~|=&& &$$&
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&$$&
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&$$&
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&$ $&
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$& &$
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&$ $&
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db db
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who is this lone k-rad figure in the night?! fighting laymurs? who is the
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one with the multi-tasking gun? who knows his true identity? why is his
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nose a Z? how come hes so un-textured? its ascii man!@ phear him laymurs
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everywhere!@ he will eat your feet in your sleep!@
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heres the n3ws, ascii man is patrolling w0ol from now on, he has a secret
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identity, who will he turn out to be!?#@? we must know!#@!#
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-----------------------[ w0w, gimic ]---------------------------------------
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yes, very
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yrev ,sey
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im bored. ok, here we go, lets move on to another amazing orgasm in
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space, known as... uh, shit, i have to think of something, THE JAR@#!#
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the jar is now where all the w0ols will be stored, uh, welcome to the jar.
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------------------------------[ w0w ]----------------------------------------
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ok, so now that you are compeltly excited, goodbye.
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------------------------[ ugh. YOU SUCK ]-----------------------------------
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oh i see? well you know what? i was going to go easy on you, but im not,
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<tap> <tap> <tap> you can no longer exit your editor until you read and
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comprehend each of the following bad-ascii-lines
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----------------------------[ NO!@!#! IM SORRY!#!# PLEASE!#@ ]--------------
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haha!# mortal!#
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&$& sssss sssss $
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&$__$& $ssss $ssss $
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&$ $& ssss$ ssss$ o
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hmm
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$s$s$ $s$s$
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s$s$s##############s$s$s
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$s$s$ $s$s$
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dumbell. k-rad
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hmmm, let me think and decide, i know, a flashlight
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$%@&$#@&#%@$#@&%$#@#$@#$@%#@#$@#%@
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@&$%@$&@#@&$%@#&@%$&%@#&@$%&@%
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&$#%&@$#@&%$@&#@$&@$&%#$%#
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%#@$&#%@$#&%@$#@&$#&$#
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@$#%&@$#%&@$#%&@$#
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@%$#%&@#$@%&$#
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(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
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| mag light |
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\ /
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\__________/
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\________/
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ok, now that youve been exposed to that, here is something you might not
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like, hmmmmmm
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.\|/.
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`/|\'
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ha ha!@ i looked at your butthole and drew it@&^% ha ha ha ha, you have
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an ugly butthole!
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ok, here we go we are 154 lines into this article and its time, for, a,
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stick of gum
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.-----.
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|~~~~~|
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| CKE |
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| OCR |
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| CU |
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| KS |
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|_____|
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`-----'
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good night.
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---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +----------------------------------
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, cock sucker gum? uhhhhhhhhhhh
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---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------
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this is so you can find them:
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#1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle)
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#2: the electric santa (nettle)
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#3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle)
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#4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle)
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#5: no comprende? (nettle)
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#6: the annual collage issue (nettle)
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#7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@
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wow
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-------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------
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nettle
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(thats all right now.. so write sumfin!#)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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nettle:
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nettle@novasys.com
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nettle@nevermind.lag.novasys.com
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nettle@nexxus.novasys.com
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thats it..
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