153 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
153 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛÛBiafraÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Û #11 Û ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛ Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ
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ÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ
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(Biafra.... He's more than just sheets)
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ok. ummm abraxus has been bitching at me to write a vomit lately and well
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i really didn't have much to say. He's always telling me to 'fix the damn
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page' or 'write a vomit' or 'i don't need you'. Well these things have
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taken a toll on my ego. Soooooo i'm getting depressed. maybe i'll kill
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myself and write a vomit suicide note. Gee that would be pretty neato huh?
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We could get on national tv. the 5:00 news or something. say..."Teen
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commits suicide over Internet based magazine" gee that would make headlines
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and make all parents scared to let little billy talk or read anything,
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especially when they tell the part how i met abraxus over a computer, which
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is kinda funny in its own little way.
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Which leads me to something(what's this?? thoughts being funneled to a
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common purpose in one amazingly witty issue of vomit by god.. it's amazing)
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-that was a long thing inside those little round things that are round
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[whose name i forgot] so i used the brackets[the square ones]. Soooo OUCH
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my hand hurt just thought i'd let you all know. I have now lost my
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thoughts of what i was channeling from the vomit gods. Oh yeah we've been
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getting all sorts of lovely mail from people. Me personally, i only get 1
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or 2 a week having anything to do with vomit that isn't forwarded to me as
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an incentive to write something. Which finally leads me to my purpose:
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-Thesis statemet please[sorta]-
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Everybody i've met over a computer[in real life] has been normal for the
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most part. Scary huh? You see all this stuff on the news[FORESHADOWING!!]
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about how the 'internet' is all full of porno people and teenage rapists.
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Well i'm none of the above and neither are you. i hope. please don't ruin
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my ingorance and tell me you are either. basically the only person i met
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who is a complete and total computer loser stereotype is our own beloved
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vomit mascot Micheal Jerome V.[i don't know how to spell his last name]
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[[gee i love these bracket thingys.... lets try []]][]][][]][]][][]][]][[.
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ok all better now. now back to work:
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i have met about 4 people over the computer. all of which are normal and
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none of which weigh more than 180 pounds. i'm probably the skinniest of
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all the computer type people i know. being the lanky hick wannabe that i
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am standing 6'0 at 130lbs. thats pretty damn skinny. alas i don't care.
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gee i like that word... maybe i could compile a list of all the vomit
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readers to see how you guys compare and if you would be considered 'normal'
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by The Vomit Weights & Measures Co. of the Greater Tri-State Area.
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Henceforth i give you this form:
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I might put this on a form on our web page later:
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----------------Cut Here----And Paste it into mail-------------------------
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Official Vomit Questionnaire
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Name:
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Age:
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Sex:
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Height:
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Weight:
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Hair Color:
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Eye Color:
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E-Mail Adress:
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Home Phone Number:
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Home Address[for Vomit holiday giveaways]:
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1.
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2.
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3.
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--* Issues Read: Check Them.
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1[ ] 2[ ] 3[ ] 4[ ] 5[ ] 6[ ] 7[ ] 8[ ] 9[ ] 10[ ] 11[X]
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--* How did you hear about us?
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--* How did you obtain your issue(s)?
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--* Would you donate money for further research of cancer?
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--* Would you be offended if we called you? What are the best ours to
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reach you at?
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--* What do you like about vomit?
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--* Do you read any other Zines? What are their adresses etc etc.
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--* Any other comments?
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---------------------------------Other End-----------------------------------
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Now snip that puppy out and mail it to biafra@gti.net and with a subject of
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Vomit User Poll #1. We will work our tails off(tee hee) to tabulate the
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responses. They will be published in a later issue of Vomit!!! Yeah Yeah
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an interactive zine. Now we can figure out the truth of the computer dork
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stereotype. Although you have to be somewhat cool already to read this. You
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can also submit any materials if you wish to work for us. And join the:
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VOMIT UNION. yeaa.. beotch you'll be in a workers union. power to the
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people. Maybe you could even send us a picture of you and your friends.
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If your numbers don't do you justice. All of us being drop dead gorgeous of
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course.[i know i am...] Maybe we'll have a HUGE vomit web page of our
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readers and the info and a picture of them so we can be one big happy family
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and make a vomit mafia. and take over the world.. well maybe not. but hell
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you never know. ok thats enough go nuts on it and we'll all be happy
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with jesus. thank you and good night
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VOMIT Index
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Vomit 1...............................................................Intro
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Vomit 2.................................... Part 1 of "Quest of the K-rads"
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Vomit 3........................................................Masturbation
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Vomit 4..........................................................The Smurfs
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Vomit 5...........................................Ozzy visits Sesame Street
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Vomit 6........................................................John Is Dead
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Vomit 7...........................................................My Sheets
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Vomit 8........................Michael Jerome Vioreanu: A Study in Loserdom
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Vomit 9.........................Tighty-whities & Useless trivia about Vomit
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Vomit 10...........................A Guide To Annoying People In Chat Rooms
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Vomit 11...........................................More of Biafra's Dribble
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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This issue escaped our rigorous quality control system
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VOMIT Information
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You've eaten Vomit cereal. You're wearing Vomit Underoos. You've
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guzzled the Vomit soft drink. Now visit the web page!
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HTTP://www.gti.net/vomit
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Hate us? Dislike us? Indifferent? We wanna know! Write us!
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Write Abraxas: eighties@gti.net
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Write Biafra: biafra@gti.net
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Attention ASCII artists: For the love of God, please send us a new ASCII
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of our name
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Wanna join vomit? Send something you've written to Abraxas.
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or me...
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