302 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
302 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
[[[[[ Abraxas ]] [[[]]]] [[[[[ ]]]]] [[[[[]]]]] [[[[[]]]]]
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[[ [[ ]] [ [ ] ] [[[ ]]] [] [[ [] ]]
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[[ [[ ]] [ [ # ] ] [[ [[]] ]] [] []
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[[ ]] [ [ 8 ] ] [[ [] ]] [] []
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[[ ]] [ [ ] ] [[ ]] [] []
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[] [[[[]]] [[[[ ]]]] [[[[[]]]]] []
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(Star Trek in the house!!!!)
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This little text here is the autobiography of this kid in my school. It's on
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his homepage. Anyway, this kid, who was the basis for the "Spider" character
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in "Quest of the |<-r4Ds", is considered by most to be the biggest dork in
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our school. He has a bit of a weight problem, but let's not be superficial.
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Let's just slander his personality, being the true intellectuals that we are.
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His daily attire usually consists of an undershirt ("So I don't get a rash"),
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a blue dress shirt, and tight blue jeans. Anyway, move on to his autobiography
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and I shall intervene from time to time to separate his self-promoting
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ramblings from reality.
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==============================================================================
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Welcome to My Home Page! Feel free to Leave any comments/Questions via Email!
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Mike's Home Page
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Welcome to
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Michael Jerome Vioreanu's Home Page!
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A little Bit about myself
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Well, I lived in Wanaque, New Jersey from birth until 3rd grade(I was around 8
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years old). I then moved in December of 3rd grade to my current residence, in
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Kinnelon, New Jersey. I'm now in 11th grade. I'm 16 years old
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(17 on July 6th). I have my Drivers permit, and cannot wait until I get my
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license.
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Oooo. How exciting for you.
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My hobbies include Computers, Soccer, Dungeons and Dragons,
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Mountain/Road Biking, Reading(Fantasy/SciFi Novels) and Listening to
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music(Alternative, Rock & Roll, Symphonies).
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Sounds like a real winner to me. He forgot to mention his love of his Star
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Trek music CD collection.
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In school I am currently ranked 19th in my grade(84 Juniors total), and am
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enrolled in various classes. My current schedule contain: US History IIA,
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Trigonometry/Precalculus IA, English IIIB, Telecommunications/Networking B,
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Intro To Electronics B, Band B, Gym/Health IIIB, Biology IIA,
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Contemporary Topics in Biology B.
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I don't care what the numbers say. He's a stupid shit. Only gets ok grades by
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studying his ass off in between 12-hour computer sessions.
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I am a member of National Honor Society. I plan to go to a four year college
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and major in Computer Science or Managment of Informational
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Systems/Informational Science.
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"And not get drunk nor lose my virginity."
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I am deeply involved in computers.
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An EXTREME understatement.
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I am the webmaster for my school district's home pages, the premier of which
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is my High School's Web Page HTTP:I.won't.let.you.know.the.address.because.I.
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don't.want.it.to.get.any.hits
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Webmaster!!! Ooooo!!!! What a title! "I AM THE MASTER OF THE WEB!!! I AM THE
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GUARDIAN OF THE NETHERWORLD!! FEAR ME!!! MY PAGE HAS BEEN ACCESSED 19 TIMES
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IN A YEAR!!!!"
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I have built this page(the one you are currently reading) from scratch, using
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HTML Writer. I wrote my school's home page in my
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Telecommunications/Networking Class, under the direction of Mr. Chuck Foley.
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Hooray for you and Chuck.
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I am also involved in Kinnelon's Community Technology Committee, a group of
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concerned Parents, Teachers, Students, Principals, Community members, and our
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Superintendant.
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Not to mention a host of other geeks, nerds, and rejects.
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I have been working with computers since I was 9, and have a strange nack
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for making them work.
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Yeah, it's called pressing the power button, you schmuck. You're so l33t! Can
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I be you?!!!!
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I have experience in HTML Publishing, Hardware purchasing/installation,
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Software, Programming, Typing(without which, this would have taking hours to
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type!)
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I think that was a joke. That's about as funny as he gets, folks.
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, networking (Novell 3.11), and almost any other area in computing.
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Such as gif collecting.
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I currently work for Universal Telephone and Telegraph, LLC, a small
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telecommunications company located next to the High School. I do any
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major/minor computer work such as installation/repair/upgrades. My father is
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in his late 40's. He is a systems analysist for a drug company(prescription
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drugs) located in Manhattan, New York. He has been a major inspiration for my
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interests. He is the stricter of my two parents. I appreciate all that he
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has done for me.
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My father is a drunken redneck who only wears a shirt 6 months out of the
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year. He works with the mafia. (Illegal Drugs) He has not really inspired me,
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but rather he has beat me when he gets the urge. He enjoys belching, farting,
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and wearing the same clothes day after day after day. Sometimes he shouts
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random obscenities. I appreciate him for all the material he has given me to
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write 'zines about.
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My mother is in her mid 50's. She is a administrative assistant at the
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Kinnelon Public Library.
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In other words, she is a librarian.
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Her personality is the basis for my personality.
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OK, so you based yourself on a fifty-year-old woman? Too cool for me.
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She has high tolerance and patience. She is kind and thoughtful. If it
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wasn't for her, I'd probably be some lump on a log doing absolutely nothing.
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It's too easy. I'll just let this one slide.
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You are probably wondering about my social life.
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Or lack thereof.
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Well, I had a Girlfriend from Feburary 1st until May 19th.
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Sure, you had a girlfriend if you consider lower primates to be girls.
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She ended up bringing down my limited self esteem.
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Conveniently "limited" by yours truly, and the rest of our town.
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When she dumped me, she told me that her parents believed her too young to
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date. She then turned around and told the school that I was always horny and
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touchy-feely.
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Oh yeah, Mike. The entire school was in a mad buzz about your horniness.
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That's how much we all care about you. By the way, I bet he said a few hundred
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Hail Marys after he typed "horny".
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I was hardly around her,
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At least you have SOME common sense
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and when I was, SHE made the first moves!
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"Yeah! We almost got to first base once!!!!"
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Well, I have a lot of friends.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! When zero means "a lot" I'll eat my backwards hat!
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David W(Red, William) is my partner in crime.
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"Yeah! One time when we were feeling really bad we didn't recycle!!!"
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We have been exceeding in the computer field for a while now. Whatever he
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can't fix, I can and Visa Versa.
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And whatever either of you fixes, I can break again.
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Bernadette S(Dave W's GF) is a great friend. She has helped me though my
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relationship with my X-Girlfriend. David G is one of the funniest people I
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know. He also shares my level of liking Star Trek(watching the shows, but no
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memorabilia or conventions).
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Oh yeah. He sounds like a real humor machine!!! "How many Picards does it take
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to screw in a multiplexer photonizer? NONE! That's Worf's job!!! HAHAHAHA! I'm
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so funny!
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Kevin L has been my friend since I moved to Kinnelon. I'm proud to be able to
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say I have a friend that is an Eagle Scout.
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I'm proud to be able to say that I don't have a friend that is an Eagle Scout.
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I wish I didn't drop out of Scouts.
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I wish you'd spontaneously combust, but that's another story.
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Patrick S has been my friend just as long as Kevin. Pat is funny and weird,
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and loves to have fun.
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And from what I hear he hasn't talked to you in years. He loves to have fun,
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alright, fun WITHOUT YOU!!!
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Sara D(my first IRC friend) is great to talk to, and loves to love!
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Did you send her a personal gif yet? Then let's see if she still does.
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I have moved up the popularity ranks, but I don't really care for that kinda
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stuff.
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OK, now you've gone too far. You haven't moved anything except your bowels.
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You were always the least-liked, are the least-liked, and will always be the
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least-liked. Maybe if you consider going from -1 to -2 in "the popularity
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ranks" to be moving up you could be right. Of course you don't care for "that
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kinda stuff", because you're bad at it. I don't care for basketball, because
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I'm bad at it.
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I have a great personality(in my eyes at least).
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And in your clouded eyes alone. No friends! No friends! Nyah-ha! Nyah-ha!
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I have a lot of patience and have a high tolerance for bad events.
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"Like the time I forgot to wear an undershirt and I got a rash."
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I have a nack for understanding people, even if they don't tell me exactly
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what's happening in their minds.
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Guess what's going on in my mind, you psychic webmaster you.
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On issues, I'm generally in the middle of everything.
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You also seem to always be in the middle of a big meal.
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Abortion should be limited to those who were involved in rape, incest or when
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the mother could die in childbirth.
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Or when they look at the ultrasound and see YOU in the womb.
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Welfare should be reformed, but not thrown away. Social Security should be
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changed to become like a bank, where what you put in is what you get, not what
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other people put in is what you get. Right now, I'm hoping Senator Dole wins
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the presidential election. I'm not a Republican or Democrat, but I am kinda
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conservative.
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You are especially conservative with your FAT!!!! FAT!!!! Sorry. I couldn't
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hold back. We musn't be superficial.
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I do not believe in body piercing(except 2 earring holes per ear on women, not
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men). I do not like tatoos.
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You'd just love my dad then.
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I believe in complete equality.
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Damned Communist.
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I do not like it when people push past equality, like saying they are better
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than another group.
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You don't like it only because people are always saying and proving how much
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better than you they are.
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I don't like caps worn backwards, but I can easily tolerate it.
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Wow. You must have some great self-control. Let's just give you a big
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"Humanitarian of the Millineum" award.
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My choice of the perfect woman would have a couple traits.
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Yeah, my ideal woman would have a couple of tits, uhh, I mean traits too.
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She would have to be tolerable, love to get gifts, a spendthrift, enjoy
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spending time together, and does not nessarily have to be outside-beautiful.
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I tend to look at both inside and outside beauty.
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"And most of all she'd have to be my mother!!!!"
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I don't really go for airheads though. I find intelligence attractive.
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Enough about me!
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So soon?
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Anyway, this is his little autobiography with my witty sayings thrown in. For
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an unedited version of his autobiography, cut and paste like a motherfucker.
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You may think that I made this "Michael Jerome Vioreanu" character up for
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laughs. No. This kid actually exists, is actually that much of a loser, and
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actually wrote that autobiography. Now, I used to not hate him. I used to find
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him quite amusing to throw things at, but nothing too severe. Then one time
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he decided to show a text file that I wrote on how to fuck up school networks
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to his pal "Mr. Chuck Foley". This began my hatred of him. He just showed it
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to his pal to be an asshole, and to get me in trouble. I also have to put up
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with his disgusting Steve Urkel laugh everyday in school. This is why I hate
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him and decided to make fun of him so severely. I could have been even meaner,
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but I've still got a shot at going to heaven, so I layed off the ol' Vioreanu.
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I could write ten more pages on his "life" but this has already broken the
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record for the longest vomit.
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VOMIT Index
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Vomit 1..................................................................Intro
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Vomit 2....................................... Part 1 of "Quest of the K-rads"
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Vomit 3...........................................................Masturbation
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Vomit 4.............................................................The Smurfs
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Vomit 5..............................................Ozzy visits Sesame Street
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Vomit 6...........................................................John Is Dead
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Vomit 7..............................................................My Sheets
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Vomit 8...........................Michael Jerome Vioreanu: A Study in Loserdom
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Pronounced "Vee-oh-ran-oh"
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