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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍËÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß º º
º ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Digest º
º ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û º Issue #3 - Released Friday October 9 , 1992 º
º ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ º º
ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÊÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹
º VaS: Leading You Boldly Into The Future With Innovative Ideas And Stories º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
People Who Contributed To This Issue:
Studmuffin, Public Enemy, Unknown, Nocturnus, Public Enemy, and Ben Stein.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° Introduction °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: STuDMuFFiN °±²ÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Welcome to VaS Digest #3, This issue has been delayed for a few weeks
due to a major lack of articles being written. Basically, I have had no time,
and probably will be reducing my board down to 24oo, as i will be selling my
14.4k modem in order to buy other more important things. I will try to keep
LiVE WiRE alive though.
Anyhow, in this issue we have some new authors, and some old favorites.
There should be something for everyone in this issue, so sit back and enjoy.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° THe VaS VoTe °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: STuDMuFFiN °±²ÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Welcome to another VAS VOTE. This issue's topic:
"What are your feelings on abortion?"
It's Absolutely Horrible ............ 11.4% (5 Votes)
Only For Rape or Incest ............. 25.0% (11 Votes)
Im Pro-Choice ....................... 40.9% (18 Votes)
I Dead Aborted Fetuses For Snacks ... 22.7% (10 Votes)
So thats how vAs readers feel on this specific topic. Anyhow we will
be back next issue with other interesting questions.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛ²±° How To Get Free Disks °±²ÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: PuBLiC eNeMY °±²ÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Well These are some numbers I (Public Enemy) compiled From PC Magazine.
They are all 800 numbers. Some of them sound like VMB's. If you ever need a
free disk, just call one of these numbers. The only down side is that it
takes a while for them to come through the mail. Being young I've found that
it is even harder, unless you are a good liar. Some of them ask you what
school you go to, and what your majoring in. So be ready, and sound
profesional when you call these numbers. The numbers that ask for extensions
have them written down next to the number. Most of these companies have many
demos, and they ask you what Product you want so be ready to tell them before
you call so it sounds good. I found that a lot of the people that answer the
phones are jerks, but remember your getting a free disk so dont bother. Most
of them ask if you want a 5.25 or a 3.5. It takes about 2 to 3 minutes for
each call assuming you are not put on hold. They will ask you for your
address, and most of the time your company name, so be prepared to answer,
some of them even ask you your company title. You should just say Manager or
CEO, or something profesional.
1-800-227-0847 ABC Flowcharting
1-800-553-9119 Schema Pcb
1-800-3IB-MOS2 OS/2 2.0
+1-800-732-3133 Superstor (BE A DEALER FOR STARTUP KIT)
1-800-CAL-LCAI DB Fast
1-800-872-3387 <Ext.6960> Ami Pro 3.0 (Windows)
1-800-348-DCA1 <Ext.94A> CrossTalk
1-800-628-4223 Mathcad (They really ask a lotta questions on this one)
1-800-827-7889 <Ext.312> Support on site
+1-800-827-7889 <Ext.312> Computer Select
+1-800-TRA-DEUP <Ext.7014> 1-2-3 (Dos) (Must Say you have lotus software)
1-800-227-4679 <Dept.HI7> Microsoft Mail
+1-800-541-1261 <Dept.Y25> Microsoft Power Point
1-800-CAL-LCAI CA-Up To Date
+1-800-633-0518 <Ext.4455> Oracle
+1-800-TRA-DEUP <Ext.6930> Freelance Graphics (Windows)
+1-800-445-7899 Instant Replay Profesional
+1-800-872-3387 <Ext.6853> Smart Suite (Windows)
Well If I ever get the time again I will probably make more of these lists.
I have got about 20 free disks like this already about half of them are hard
density. You can save lotsa money this way. Later all, and remember
Public Enemy Brought you this artical. LiVe 10nG aNd Pr0sP3R
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° aRe You a ReDNeCK? °±²ÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: uNKnoWN °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
I'm sure all of you readers in the south would like to know of your
social status, and I saw this hilarious text on a board and figured it would
be perfect for this issue of VaS. Here is a complete list of things that will
tell you if you are really an inbred freak named bill jim bob with 3 teeth
and 4 toes.
1. Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to
help take the wheels off of it.
2. You think potted meat on saltines is an hors d' oeuvre.
3. You've spray painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.
4. The highlight of your family reunion was your sister's nude
dancing debut.
5. You've done your christmas shopping at a truck stop.
6. Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.
7. You go to a stock car race and you don't need a program.
8. Your junior-senior prom had a daycare center.
9. You own a denim leisure suit.
10. You know how many bales of hay your car can hold.
11. Your dog has a litter of pups on the living room floor and
nobody notices.
12. You've been kicked out of the KKK for being a bigot.
13. You use your mailbox to hold up one end of your clothesline.
14. You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
15. Your wifes hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
16. You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures
were taken.
17. You didn't put the pink plastic flamingoes in your yard as a
joke.
18. The crack in your windsheild is longer than your arm and has
been there for more than a year.
19. You have to dress the kids up to go to K-mart.
20. Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high
school sports event.
21. You bought a VCR because wrestling was on while you were at
work.
22. You grow corn in your front yard.
23. Red Man chewing tabacco sends you a christmas card.
24. Your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade.
25. Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
26. You prominently display the gift you bought at Graceland.
27. You've written Richard Petty's name on a presidential
ballot.
28. You call your boss Dude.
29. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
30. You've been fired from a construction job because of your
appearance.
31. You've cleaned fish in your living room
32. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
33. You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of
all time.
34. Your Mother genuinely admires your girlfriends tattoos.
35. Your father encourages you to quit school because there's an
opening on the lube rack.
36. You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your
hair.
37. You're a women and you wear knee high stockings with a
skirt.
38. You carry two guns on the rack in your pickup window by the
foxtails.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° Phun At Weddings °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: HeDBaNGYR °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Well folks, this vas phile is intended for everyone who is gonna be
in a wedding or at a wedding reception. I was so phucking board at both of
of these events I just thought them up at the time. There will be 2 parts
to this phile. Part one is fun at a wedding. Part 2 is fun at a reception.
Do this stuff discreetly or ""accidentally"" or you will be
caught. And most of this stuph was intended for very expensive weddings,
but I included some stuff for cheap waddings also. Here we go!
---===---Weddings---===---
1. Go around the curch and start breaking things.
2. Before the wedding get real drunk. And act obnoxious. If you usher
Then this will work better.
3. Place WORX bombs in places (ie Alter, Usher room, Poor box).
4. Sneak in to the bridal room while the wedding is going on. Most
bridal parties leave they're purses in there so steal the shit.
5. Get a one of those strings that are not seen and tie it over the
isle. When the bride come down.... B00m!
6. Blow out all the candles(??????).
7. Steal the rings.
8. Beat up the ringbearer.
9. Call Dominos or somthin and order pizza about 5 large to the
address of the church. And tell them to deliver it at a certian
time during the wedding.
10. Let bugs loose in the church.
11. Better yet a dog.
12. Bring a boombox and play Last caress, slayer, skrewdriver, or
atheist during the wedding.
13. After the wedding whenever they throw shit at the couple. Pick up
rocks an throw them.
14. Make weird sound at crucial point in the wedding.
15. When The priest says "You may kiss the bride" say "FUck her" or
Im next or some stupid remark.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Receptions<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
1. Write nasty words in the guest log.
2. Heat up change and give to people.
3. Phuck the bathrooms up. Put paper in the faucets and let them run.
4. Start a good phight.
5. Play Slayer.
6. Scatter dirty magz around.
7. Start roomorz bout the bride.
8. If there is another reception around(ie barmitzpha) Then phuck them
up to.
9. Steal beer.
10. Steal peoples silverware.
11. Pickpockets.
12. Make some obscene phone calls to 1-800 ###'s from payphones.
13. Again order pizza to the reception address.
14. VandalizE!!
15. Start making phun of other people that aren't dressed up call them all
all sorts of shit.
Welp thats it ill write another one if this one is welcomed.
l8rsk8rh8r
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° GuiDe To auTo THeFT °±²ÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: JeSuS CoRPSe °±²ÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Welcome to another issue of VaS. During My Outings Relatin To
The Fine Art of Auto BUrGlery And Thevery, I Have Gained Knowledge
Which I wish to Pass on To Awl The Upcomin' And Wanna-Be Criminals out
there. I assume that, sience you are reading this my guess is also that
you are a criminal, so you to have the power. In this peticular file,
I pull some material out of the book "The Outlaw Papers" by Lee Lapin and
published through Palidan Press. If this has sparked your Intrest , but
You Wana Know Even more nuances(ooooh)Of This Most Excrement of the trades,
Then You must Definately, Absolutely Get this Fucking Book!
Now the objective of this VAs file is for you not to get a car for free, but
to spend very little on getting a very expensive car. No matter how you do
it you'll have to at least spend SOME money, so don't say I didn't tell you.
Towards the end I cover some of the basics that apply to motorcycle theft,
but they are VERY similar and I hope you are smart enought to figure out
in what ways they are, If yer Not, PLay the Implosion Game.
A BASIC OVERVIEW ON THEFT IN GENERAL:
Hell, I've always been Facisenated by the Idea of Taking Other Peoples stuff.
I mean, Its Not your Fault People are abject Retards and Can't Hold on to their
stuff. OF Course, this train of thought ain't gonna help you with the Judge
But Who Cares what those Assholes think? Your Not Planing on Getting Caught, No?
Autotheft, Follows the Same Pattern as other Crimes, Mainly it should be done
as Quickly and Quietly as Possible. You should make sure you know all of the
movements of ANYONE, or Anything that could Jepordize youR Mission, and
and plan for the anythingto happed, especially the worst. Make sure to
involve as few people as possible, and tell no one of what you're doing, the
more people who know, they more likely you'll get Crucified. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS
WEAR GLOVES. I Cannot Stress The importance of this, and also use 220
grit sandpaper and sand the fingertips of the gloves each time, they can match
glove leather patterns (they're just like fingerprints)!!! And it Wouldn't Be
Nice for you to Get Caught with the Gloves of one of the TEn Most Wanted!
Also, if the cops do somehow come onto your trail, deny everything to the
bitter end, cops are lying cheating bastards, and most of them are more devious
than even you (I think most of them were criminals in their youth, and then
decide they could commit crimes more easily if they were pigs). The cop is
your enemy and will do everything in his power to intimidate and trick all the
info he can out of you. GET A LAWYER AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH -SHUT-. You'll get
away with just about anything if you just use your common sence and follow the
above rule. Cops CANNOT make deals (you should know this already, because
EVERYBODY says it), so don't fall for their bullshit. Like Grave Robber says,
KILL! KILL! KILL!
Theft is a very risky business, but as with all ciminal activities, it's very
fun and very profitable, in a very short time. That is why so many people out
there commit crimes. Now realize this, you have intelligence on your side,
which makes you a hell of a lot more dangerous than your average run-of-the-
mill criminals, who bairly can tie their own shoes.
WHY EVIL CRIMINALS STEAL CARS
Why do such evil scum people steal cars you ask? Well, there it's usually
one of four reasons...
TRANSPORTATION - In which case it's usually dumped after it's served some
short term function
PARTS - Meaning the car is striped and the parts are then sold
CONVERSION - Changing the numbers to match some other car, then
selling it to some poor chump
INSURANCE FRAUD - (Ya!) Taking the car with owners permission to not only
make money from parting it out, but the insurance claim
as well. Also known as 'Friendly Thefts'
For the most part, you'll probably be stealing them for conversion, or maybe
transportation, but parting a car out usually means you have alot of people
around town that will pay good money and ask very few questions. Also you
not only need the tools to take the car apart, but a place to do it, and then
a place to dump the frame and whatever else is unused.
GAINING ENTRY TO THE CAR
The Slim Jim is still the most common form of entry to cars. These can
either be madem, or purchased at any automobile or lock smith 'collector'
stores. Many of the newer cars are attempting to get around this by putting
a steal plate over the locking mechanism, but already there is a new slim
jim out that can get around this slight inconvienience. If you do decide
that you want to make one, there are lots of files out there that will tell
you how to make the older of the two, but it still will open around 80% of
the cars out there. Also, make sure to try it on a car that is the same
model beforehand, so you can get a hang of how to do it.
Lock picks can be used, but this seems to be a teadious way at best to
gain entry into the car. I know from experience that trying to pick a lock
can take anywhere from a minute to half an hour.
Another of the more useful ways is to purchase a ring of keys from a lock
smith, that covers a certain range and make of car, like Fords from 1980 to
1990. A ring usually includes 100 to 140 keys, and will open ANY car within
that range and make. The only disadvantage to this method is that it's a
bit of a hastle carring around soooo many damn keys, and it does take a while
to go through the ring and find the right one. This method has already been
defeated by the 1990+ year Chevrolets', which now include a chip on them,
and the car won't start without the properly coded chip... Here's the real
bitch of this, it cuts all power to the car under a failed attempt, and can
not be bypassed.
One new device is known as the Lemon Pop, and incorporates a piece of
plastic or venetian blind to slip inbetween the molding and the top of the
window on Mercedes, Porche's, or other push-button locking cars. A loop of
waxed dental floss is then looped around the post on the door and by yanking
on the dental floss it is simple to unlock the door.
AN OVERVIEW OF ALL THE TOOLS AND COSTS
Ok, here is an overview of most of the tools you will want to get, along
with a general idea of the costs involved, plus their worth (rated on a scale
from 1 to 10, 10 being the best):
WORTH
ITEM DESCRIPTION PRICE CR/BK WHERE TO LOCATE
----+-----------------------+--------+-----+----------------------------------
(1) Manufacturer Key Rings $150-up 8/0 At dealership or locksmith comps.
(2) Slide Hammer $50-100 8/10 A car repair shop or tool shop.
(3) Slim Jim (Both Vers) $50-150 8/0 Most mailorder locksmiths.
(4) Lock Picks (Spec. Car) $200-up 5/5 Most mailorder locksmiths.
(5) Lemon Pop $10-down 6/0 Build it yourself, it's basic.
(6) Gloves (DON'T FORGET!) $25-up 10/10 Get a good pair!
(7) Drill/Special Bit $150-up 8/0 Most mailorder locksmiths.
(8) Liquid Freon $25-50 6/0 Any car supply store.
Ok, the WORTH CR/BK area means the worth for CARS and BIKES. The liquid Freon
is one thing I didn't touch on, but it's really simple. All you do is spray it
on those little mercury switches, and it will disable them for around 30 to 60
seconds, more then enough time to diable the alarm (also take into account the
+15 secs it takes to reset!).
One note on all the mailorder locksmith companies, almost NONE of them accept
Visa or MC, so forget about carding from them. They also will sell only to
locksmiths... "That sucks!" you say? Well, not really, since they have no way
to check if you really are what you say you are. Just rent a PO Box from a
place like Mailboxes, Etc and call it Jimbo's Lock Service, 1234 Generic Ln
Suite #120, Loserville, WY. They won't even think twice. Remember that picking
locks on cars is COMPLETELY different from picking normal home locks, so it's
usually wise to pick up books from these places to learn how (believe me, no
gfile is going to teach you shit unless it's like 100k and filled with nice
.GIF pics for you to refer to!).
STARTING THE CAR
There are lots of files about hotwiring cars already, so if you want to
learn how to do that, pick one of them up. I never was very good at that
anyways (I always got a fucking shock).
If you do decide to use the key-ring method of entry, you will have the
key to the ignition (they are the same), so then just slip it in and turn.
A real advantage to this also is later on this really fulfils the image that
you actually do own the car.
The only other way I know of is to buy a slide-hammer (or a dent-puller,
whatever you like to call it), and use it. First screw it into the key slot
and then slam it out. Take a screwdriver and turn the little explosed tri-
angle thing, and wala, the car starts.
Cars with locked steering columns can be defeated by one of a number of
devices on the market, like the SideKick. This incorporates a small drill
bit in order to drill into the core of the lock, and a device to then
extract the lock. Operation of this with a portable drill requires about
two minutes to remove the lock from the steering column.
DEFEATING CAR ALARMS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alarms are a kind of joke, they give the owner a great false sense of security
and they will do things normal drivers wouldn't (since the ASSUME the vehicle
is safe). And they will park them in very risky locations, and give you all
the opporunities you need. One note for people who live in cities like SF, or
any hilly city... Most alarms won't work on a hill, and will simply active,
but not take input from the sensors... An easy kill. Also, about 35% of the
alarms out there are fake, so if it's some wierd brand you've never encountered
before, or it says something like "WARNING: AUTO THEFT DEVICE", you can almost
always ignore these feeble attempts at security. Also look inside the vehicles
that do have real alarms to see if the LED is flashing... Alot of these losers
will buy the damn alarm and never arm it! Lot of good that is!
All alarms have some inherant weakness, the key to overcoming them is just
to find this and then exploit it as best you can. One of the most common
weaknesses in all alarms, except the more expensive, is a lack of an internal
power supply. What this means, is that if you cut the vehicle from the
battery, then follow the leads until you find where the alarm comes in and
disconnect it, you'll completely bypass it. Alot of the alarms on the
market protect the interior of the car, but not the hoop/engine area (like
the Clifford). Some do cover the entire vehicle, like the Viper or the
Clifford with the proximity sensor, but very few have the latter, and you
know when you run into a Viper.
One fatal weakness that almost everyone that has an alarm does is plaster
the name of the peticular model all over the car. They feel that this will
ward off any car theif... They would have spent their money more wisely on
stickers with the cross on them, and hoping God would protect the car. All
this does is help you overcome the alarm, by identifing what the maker is!
Once you know who makes it, all it takes is a little research at your local
car sterio dealership to find out it's weaknesses. I found it best to ask
the salesman what he has heard about other alarms, and that you're interested
in buying the Viper. He'll see the commission (shit, most of the time you
can practically see the dollar signs in their eyes) and spill all he knows
or has heard negative about every other system you bring up.
One slick little trick that works on some of the more expensive alarms (like
the Viper) is if you take a jack and lift the car about 1 1/2 - 2 feet off of
the ground it will disable the alarm (since it thinks it's getting towed, and
it would suck to go pick up your impounded car just to find your battery dead
because of the lame alarm). This is usually a very successful method.
Ok, Welps, I'm getting sick of writing. Anywayz, Special thanks to
Video Vindicator, who helped me Compile this and let me use some of his
stuff from a file of his.
Next Week, I'll be finished with part ][ which will most likely Include
more stuff on being a crook, Like Actually SELLING the car, and some
stuff Video wants to throw in about Insurance scams......
Anywayz: Down wid' the KFC Regime!
Note: This File was Written By Myself, Nocturnus, And Video Vindicator.
I thank Him for His time and Effort, sience He owes me for Waking Me
up in the Middle of the Night.
Other Projects I'm Working On Currently: A Complete Guide to Fag
Bashing
Basement Speed Labs
Updated Price Guides
AutoTheft ][
BORN AGAIN IN BLASPHEMY! Praise to thee Ancient ones, Tiamat, Hastur,
Kuthulu, Yog-Sothoth, Shub-Niggurath Goat with a Thousand Young, and
Azathoth.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° HoW NoT To DaTe °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: BeN STeiN °±²ÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Here are some really great ways to end that awful date a bit earlier
than your woman may like.
1] Talk as much as possible about other women you've been out with recently. A
sure show-stopper is to go through the evening acting rather bored and then,
just as you're about to go home, say "Gosh, I wish I would hear from my
girlfriend. It's been such a long time..."
2] Do not ask anything at all about the life (or day) of the woman you are with.
Act as if you are being interviewed by Barbara Walters. Don't show that you
feel the slightest interest in her job or her apartment or her fight with
the boss. Just assume that she is there to pay attention to you, and don't
feel as if you have any reciprocal obligation whatsoever. Act as if you have
the same sense of social obligations as a four year old, and that will get
you through the date and into your usual condition of being alone.
3] Act really cheap. Tell her she can have anything she wants on the menu, and
then huff and puff as if it's really incredibly generous of you to let a
grown woman have what she wants to eat. When the bill comes, rummage around
in your wallet and fumble for the money. Maybe - if you want to be sure you
really alienate her - act as if you dont have enough money. If the bill is
really high, sulk. Even better, sulk even if the bill isn't much.
4] Get totally bombed and start talking dirty. This works equally well for men
and women. All you have to remember is tha ttalking loudly about sex in a
social situation is an almost surefire ring-down-the-curtain blockbuster.
5] Act really snooty and condescending to the waiter or waitress. This one is
a beauty. It shows that you have no manners, makes everyone around you
stare at you, and puts you in the role of a bully.
6] Criticize your date's table manners. This one is usually so unexpceted, so
stunningly reminiscent of being condescended to as a child, and so
hypocritical, that it can often end a budding relationship on the spot.
7] Make mocking comments, preferable right off the bat, about your date's
weight, hair, or clothes. Comment on how slutty your date's outfit is.
8] Don't agree with anything she says. Start arguments just to get some drama
out of the evening. Above all, show no interest in identifying with any idea,
hope, or disappointment he she may be going through.
And remember the 4 cardinal rules of ruining a date:
1] Always act like you are the only important person in the world, and as if
everyone else's problems mean nothing.
2] Always complain about everything, and never be grateful for anything.
3] Never actually do anything for anyone else except with a great deal of
complaining, and demanding things in return.
4] Fianlly : Do unto others much worse, and give unto others much less, than
you expect from them in return.
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÑÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ²±° CLoSiNG NoTeS °±²ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛÛ²±° auTHoR: STuDMuFFiN °±²ÛÛÛÛÛ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Anyhow, that's that for this issue. If you guys like this, let us know
on LiVE WiRE. We need to know. If you guys really like this , we will keep it
up, otherwise we will just stop wasting our time. Thanks to all who contributed
to this issue.Ciao.
ÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍ[ VaS DiSTRiBuTioN SiTeS ]ÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄ
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
º BBS Name Number Baud Sysop Title º
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º LiVe WiRE (313)464-1470 14.4 Studmuffin World HQ º
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º Land Of Silence (418)687-2448 14.4 Coaxial Karma Dist. #3 º
º WiLD CHiLD (616)538-0167 16.8 Stone Cold Dist. #4 º
º The Phrozen Realm (514)738-2105 24oo Mechanix Dist. #5 º
º MYSTiC PaLaCe (313)537-9656 14.4 The Sorceror Dist. #6 º
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º Want To Be A Dist. Site For VaS, And There Isn't One In Your Area Code? º
º Get In Touch With Studmuffin On LiVE WiRE! º
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
º And To Reach us Via U.S. Mail, Send Letters To: º
º VaS World Headquarters º
º P.O. Box 530768 º
º Livonia,MI 48153 º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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