171 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
171 lines
8.7 KiB
Plaintext
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍËÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º º º
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º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÜÛÛÛÛÜ ÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter º
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º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛß ßÛÛ ÛÛ ßß º º
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º ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛÜÜÜÜÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛÛÛÜ º Issue #118 - 7/20/1996 º
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º ßÛÛÜÜÛÛß ÛÛßßßßÛÛ ÜÜ ÛÛ º º
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º ßÛÛß ÛÛ ÛÛ ßÛÛÛÛÛÛß º -[ Written By: Abigwar ]- º
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º º º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÐÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º The Viking º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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Ever since he was a young kid, Adults would always ask him, "So what do you
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want to be when you grow up?" In his mind he always new the answer, there
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was never the slightest speck of doubt. For some reason though, He would
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always reply that he did not know, or even something just to please the
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unsuspecting interrogator. For years his dreams and visions never changed.
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Then, one night, in a fit of feeling mortal after his girlfriend had died,
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he started to make things happen. The day after his friend died and Army
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recruiter called him up early in the morning. The recruiter was shocked
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that the teen-ager was still in bed at 9:30 in the morning. He started
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asking, "You have to much to drink last night? A long night of party'n?
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Or maybe sneaking out with your girlfriend huh?"
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Thats when it hit him. He new that recruiter was going to die. Not only
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had he woken the poor kid out of wonderful dreams, but he didn't even have
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a girlfriend anymore, because of course, she's dead. He quickly woke up to
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a semi-alert stage and prepared for a day of revenge starting with some
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back talk to a recruiter.
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"What are your plans for the future?" The Army man asked.
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"Nothing that would interest you I'm sure." The agitated kid replied.
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"Well, We at the Army feel that we can place people in any job position
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because of the army's size and many different branches. So why don't you
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just tell me and maybe we could accommodate you."
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"See, It kind-of comes down to my favorite past-time."
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"Really? What is that?"
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"Drinking, Fighting, and Fucking!" He said with a smirk.
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"Being drunk, getting into fights, and having sex are all you want from
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your life?" The army dude struggled to come up with.
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"Well, Yes, And one other thing too. Death."
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"Excuse me? I don't understand." Sergeant AzFuq said.
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"I want to die in combat. I want to go to Valhalla."
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"Well, We can arrange the fighting, and even teach you how. Hell we can
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even arrange your death in battle, if you'll just come down here and sign
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a couple of papers."
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"No."
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"Why not? Hell, After boot camp, We could send you to some foreign country
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where the drinking age is probably younger than 14. Tell me, Do you smoke?
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Cigarettes I mean."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, we'll even throw in a free ashtray, After recruitment."
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"Really!? A free ashtray? That settles it."
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"Great, I'll meet you here in my office today at 12:30. Alright?"
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"Yeah."
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With a smile on his face the boy gathered some belongs. A old looking
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leather vest with fur around the collar. An odd looking pair of knee high
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boots. A plaid cloth which he rapped over his shoulder and around his
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waist. A large battle axe and a small dagger, a cape, and a shinny metal
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helmet with two horns coming out, one slightly broken at the very point.
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With a trench coat on and the helmet in a brown paper bag, he went down
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to his basement and took a case of Guiness out of the extra refrigerator.
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He climbed into his car and drove around back of the recruitment office.
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He walked up to the back door, and threw his trench coat on the ground.
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Putting his helm on he stashed the beer around the corner of the building
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in the weeds.
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He pulls the battle axe, that was strapped to his back, down and booted
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in the unsecured door. He ran through the building killing every one as
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quick and quiet as possible. No one even had a chance to call for help or
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pull a gun.
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Then he booted down the secretaries door. The woman was beautiful and
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recognized the invader. He told her to stay their and they would talk in
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a minute, and she agreed. Taking his battle axe, he smashed through the
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phone cord on her desk. And incidentally, her desk too.
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One more door between him and the recruiting officer. He placed the axe
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on the floor, and pulled his dagger. He smashed in the door and launched
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his dagger at the man in the chair. It struck him in the throat and killed
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him instantly.
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Retrieving his dagger and axe, he went back to the secretary, (Who he knew
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most of his life). And started fucking around with her as she thanked him
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for 'rescuing her'.
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Then without warning or provocation he ran out the door and got his beer.
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Looked around, and slinked back inside. And fucked the secretary, and drank
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his beer, the rest of the day.
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They took a boat to a foreign country together. Somewhere in Scandinavia
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I believe. But before they left he told me a few things. He told me how
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the army really did offer more than they knew. They offered him Drinking
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Fighting and Fucking. Even Brutality and Bloodshed. But he said one thing
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that really got to me, The couldn't give him Death in Combat. And thats the
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one thing that the government CAN'T take away from you.
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He said this, "They'll [government] look at you and say that they'll take
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everything from you because you stood against them. But they are wrong.
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We're of the Viking kin, and Valhalla is the only place for us. So you tell
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them, You tell them with all your voice, I WANT NOTHIMG BUT TO DIE IN COMBAT.
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And the only thing they can do is say FUCK. They can't take that from you.
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No one can."
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The thing I find ironic, even if he doesn't know this (where ever he his)
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is that the army promised they could make his life long dream of occupation
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come true. But his was of being a Viking, and he thought their was no way
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they could bribe him. Fatally, the recruiter was correct. He could.
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Think about it. He invaded. He conquered. He fucked. He drank. He did what
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he wanted, but even if he lost, he would have been killed. (In combat)
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And even then, He'd have what he wanted.
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One last thing that great man told me, while I was a little kid, and he
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was about to leave the country. He told me of the Nordic blood, and how
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it boils with in only a few. And he also told me of the Celtic blood, and
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how it only boils in a few. Then, He pointed out that I was both, and told
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me, that they both boil with in me.
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He said, "You are a Berserker my brother. Never forget your cause. Your
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name for the rest of eternity, shall be, ABIGWAR the BERSERK. I'll see
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you in Valhalla, Friend."
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And with that he left.
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=----------------------------------------------------------------------------=
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And with this, I will leave you:
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SEE YOU IN VALHALLA!
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<+> `O'
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|-={\}> <--Abigwar, The Berserk
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| / \
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FIGHTING NORSEMEN: HAIL ODIN: HAIL THE NEW DAWN!
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=----------------------------------------------------------------------------=
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(C)opyright 1996 Abigwar (The Berserk), All rights are mine.
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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ]<-RaD Places To Find ALL The VaS Issues °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º ftp.umich.archives.etext.edu in /pub/CuD/VaS º
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º ftp.etext.org in /pub/Zines/VaS º
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º VaS WWW HomePage http://www.msu.edu/user/harri131/vas.htm º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º We are in need of more BBS dist. sites as the last few have gone down º
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º recently. If you are interested, E-mail me at tpp1@ixc.net º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º aH GoT JaNe VMB - (313)438-0390 /\ VaS VMB - (313)605-1060 º º
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º Wozzel Fan Club - (313)605-1016 /\ Kill da HonKeEZ- (313)438-0497 º º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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(C)opywrite If YoU RiP ThIs OfF wE WiLL FuCk YoU uP!
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[VaS] '96 - "Maybe you made a careless mistake, or maybe your trespassing!"
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