83 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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º ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ º
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ÌÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͹
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º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0047 º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º Date Released : [07/03/92] Author: Library Policeman º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º The Adventures Of /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD Part 1. º
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ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ
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Welcome to the first "Adventures of /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD". I hope to make
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a few more of these, as a creative writing project when I have no other ideas
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and we need more VaS files. So anyhow... On with the first story of the
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series...
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<=*=< /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD GoeS oN VaCaTioN >=*=>
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It was a hot summer day, and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD was thinking to himself,
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"BoY THiS SuRe iS BooooRiNG... THeRe aReN'T aNY ]<-RaDiCaL ]-[aCKeR CoNVeNTioNS
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CoMiNG uP SooN... i WoNDeR WHaT i SHouLD Do". (Don't forget that /<-aPTaiN
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]<-RaD always thinks in ]<-K0oL tYpE.)
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Well after countless hours of reading humerous VaS files and hacking
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into ever goverment computer in existence, /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD decided, "MaYBe
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i WiLL TaKE a NeeTo VaCaTioN To GeT aWaY FRoM iT aLL... aND To PiCK uP SoMe
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dewd-ical BaBeZ!".
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So /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD hacked into multiple computer systems, but to no
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avail. All his internet accounts had been shut down, and to make things worse,
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he had a large popsicle stick up his ass (He forgot to take it off the seat
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earlier). So as he removed the large splinters in his rectal cavity, he
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pondered thoughts on how to get to a really K0oL place like jamica so he
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could show the Jamican Vodoo Posse' all his NeEtO T-FiLeZ on growing PoT.
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"a-HaH!" he thought to himself. "i HaVe CoMe uP WiTH THe PeRFeCT PLaN
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To GeT To JaMiCa!". He then ran out the door and was gone for several hours,
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forgetting to turn off his FuCkInG InTeRnEt HackER program he was running to
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get all his /<radical accounts back.
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Several hours later, /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD raced back in the door, holding
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a large corrugated cardboard box and $38.31 in postage stamps. "WHaT a GeNiuS
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iDea, iF i Do SaY So MYSeLF" thought /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD. "MaiLiNG MYSeLF To
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JaMiCa WiLL GeT Me THeRe ReaLLY CheeP aND ee-z!".
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So /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD took the box down to his local post office, and
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packaged himself up in the box, and proceeded to mail himself to Jamica. He
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figured he was all set, and according to his calculations on his SuPeR D0oPeR
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PaNaSoNiC xP-3053.13a moDel S0oPeR CaLcuLaToRr it would take approximately
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3.931 days to get there.
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Of course what /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD forgot was that the US postal service
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is a total joke and loses half the mail you send. So instead of ending up in
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Jamica, he ended up on a small desert island somewhere in the pacific ocean.
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He got out, looking around to see if anyone else was around, and sure
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enough he ran into Gilligan and The Skipper. Then he found the Professor and
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he made a spaceship out of some coconuts and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD's sole scruffy
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pubic hair, and /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD proceeded to fly his newly made spacecraft
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back to his house, where he would think up another way to get there.
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Unfortunately, He forgot that he was still running his FuCKinG
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iNTeRnEt HaCkEr program, which had been going for the past week. Now as
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dumb as the FBi is, they managed to catch on to his little scheme. And as he
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went to check out how many k0oL PaSSwoRDz AnD AccOUNTs He had gotten, a SWAT
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team burst into his house spraying jizzum all over.
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They tackled /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD down to the ground, and read him his
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rights as they unearthed the worlds largest xxx gif collection (oVeR 2.9
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gigabyTeS oF NuDiE PiCZ!). After seeing all those really neet GiF files,
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the FBi decided to give /<-aPTaiN ]<-RaD a chance to be a free man. They
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decided to have a masturbating contest. The FBI's best man vs /<-aPTaiN
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]<-RaD's best man <Which they assumed to be himself>. Then at the last minute,
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]<-RaD called upon his very good friend Pee Wee Herman who came over and
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saved the day, and they all live hapily wacking ever after.
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The moral of the story: KeeP reaDiNG VaS FiLEs FoR MoRe PooR WriTiNG!
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ÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍ[ VaS DiSTRiBuTioN SiTeS ]ÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄ
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ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»
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º BBS Name Number Baud Sysop Title º
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ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ
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º LiVe WiRE BBS (313)464-1470 14.4 Studmuffin World HQ º
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º PoT BBS (313)462-1906 24oo Phreak_Accident World HQ º
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º TcH BBS (713)373-4031 14.4 One Meg Cacher Dist. #1 º
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º Floating Pancreas (305)551-0311 14.4 Majestic Cockster Dist. #2 º
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º Phantasm III (313)884-2617 14.4 Scavenger Dist. #3 º
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ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
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