118 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
118 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
### #### ### ### ### ####
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
### ### ### ### ###
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
########## ### ### ##########
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
|
|
Underground eXperts United
|
|
|
|
Presents...
|
|
|
|
####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ##
|
|
#### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ## #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
|
|
## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### #######
|
|
|
|
[ Pills ] [ By The GNN ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even though all technology needed is available, modern science has yet not
|
|
been able to reduce 'emotions' to physical states in the brain with the
|
|
clarity and precision needed for proving their objective existence. Due to
|
|
this, we have no clear definition of the phenomenon 'emotions' and ought
|
|
therefore (in accordance with the scientific method) conclude that they do
|
|
not exist. This conclusion, however, does not entail a demand for apathy.
|
|
Thanks to the latest research by the pioneer of medical chemistry at the
|
|
uXu lab, we are proud to present to you the final solution:
|
|
|
|
|
|
< P I L L S >
|
|
|
|
invented and abused by
|
|
The GNN, M.D.
|
|
university of Dual Crew-Shining and uXu
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Aware Pill> Put this wonderful piece of chemistry into your
|
|
body and you will soon fully grasp the Cartesian meaning of cogito
|
|
ergo sum. Yes, forget the hard work of filling your tabula rasa
|
|
with meaningless experiences just for the sake of understanding the
|
|
notion of 'I'. This pill will get you down to business of seeing
|
|
yourself as a separate part of the world.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Love Pill> For economical and social purposes it is often
|
|
necessary to engage in certain interpersonal relations of the
|
|
monogamous form. With the help of this wonderful drug, you need
|
|
not waste expensive time tracking down that particular person your
|
|
selfish genes finds acceptable as a reproduction partner. Consume
|
|
the Love Pill with a friend, and all your problems on this matter
|
|
will be solved.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Sex Pill> What can be more revolting than using the sewer
|
|
system of your body for gruesome physical activity with your
|
|
equally filthy partner? (Rhetorical question, no answer expected.)
|
|
Nothing. But with together with this pill, you will actually
|
|
experience this dirty activity as 'wonderful' - believe it or not!
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Anti-Love Pill> For economical and social purposes it is often
|
|
necessary to stall certain interpersonal relations of the monogamous
|
|
form. Forget anxiety, depression and the seemingly endless fights
|
|
through the night. With this pill, you and the devil reincarnated
|
|
you have married can break up without actually speaking to each
|
|
other.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Work Pill> The industrial revolution left mankind with quite
|
|
a bunch of tiresome, barbarous, pointless and generally quite boring
|
|
occupations. But now! Forget self-deception! Forget alienation! Just
|
|
eat this little product, and work will never be the same again. In
|
|
no time, empty sentences like 'I love my job', 'I have great
|
|
workmates' and 'I really feel that I am doing something important'
|
|
will flood out of your mouth whenever someone dares to question your
|
|
socially accepted waste of life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Creativity Pill> This magic portion will give you all the
|
|
inspiration you need to create works of art. Forget sleepless nights
|
|
trying to come up with a good short story, screenplay, novel, tune,
|
|
symphony, painting, poem, whatever. Just consume this little
|
|
medication and experience how knowledge, wit and inspiration crashes
|
|
into your empty mind. This is probably the most popular pill of them
|
|
all, believe me. I am on it right now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Fun Pill> Sometimes, we all need to let loose of our primitive
|
|
feelings down at some bar or discotheque. Unfortunately, this is
|
|
virtually impossible due to our inability to clearly define what
|
|
this thing called 'fun' is. But with this you-know-what, it is not
|
|
impossible anymore! (Please note: this pill was formerly known as
|
|
d-lysergic acid N,N-diethyl amide; United States Patent Office,
|
|
no. 2,736,728; patented February 1956; patent owned by The Albert
|
|
Hoffman Foundation.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
<The Final Pill> For economical, social and genetical purposes it
|
|
is sooner or later necessary to put an end to all of your problems.
|
|
Get ready for the final ride! Throw this little thing down your
|
|
throat, wait a couple of minutes, and suddenly - like magic - it is
|
|
all over!
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #408 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #408
|
|
remember to brush your teeth
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|