103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
### #### ### ### ### ####
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
### ### ### ### ###
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
########## ### ### ##########
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
|
|
Underground eXperts United
|
|
|
|
Presents...
|
|
|
|
####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## # ##
|
|
#### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ## ####
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## # ##
|
|
## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### #######
|
|
|
|
[ Firstborn ] [ By Knyttet ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
Firstborn
|
|
|
|
|
|
I write this not only to You my unborn, but to your father too - so he will
|
|
be able to better understand what is happening inside me. We had tried for
|
|
almost a year to have a baby. And every month when the bleeding has come, I
|
|
have felt grief. Of course we have shared a lot of love when trying, but
|
|
still, I have felt bad.
|
|
But things changed. One day, I threw up without any apparent reason. I
|
|
had been feeling sick all day. At first, I thought it was just my mind
|
|
playing tricks on me, but I went and did a test anyway. It went blue, which
|
|
meant that it was positive! I started to shake. I felt so warm inside, this
|
|
was a miracle. I fell down on my knees and thanked the mighty lord. I was so
|
|
happy, I hope You felt it too.
|
|
My breast changed shape, by now they are really big (not though they were
|
|
small before). They are aching, but from the moment I knew You were coming,
|
|
I welcomed the pain. I did threw up a lot. It was not nice, and I would lie
|
|
if I said that liked it. But it showed that something was happening inside
|
|
of me. But I worried about a lot of things. Like, that my body did not keep
|
|
enough food for You to grow properly. But they say that it is no problem,
|
|
and that I will forget this and all other bad and hard times. I hope so.
|
|
I cannot say that I have loved You from the very minute I began to sense
|
|
your presence. There were a lot of times when I were running from the sofa
|
|
to the bathroom to be sick, and really wondered what I were up to. Not that
|
|
I have regret anything though. I have NEVER regret anything about You,
|
|
your creation, your existence. Oh no, I look forward to your entrance.
|
|
Sure, sometimes I am kind of frightened. I know that You are going to change
|
|
everything in my life. But as times were then, I was only aware of the
|
|
physical reactions. But I knew that there would be more.
|
|
|
|
Now, however, I have started to gain weight again. It feels good. I promise
|
|
You that food taste a lot better if You have not been able to eat for a
|
|
couple of months. This has naturally led to that my tummy has started to
|
|
grow. I think I like this - even though I'm sure I'm going to be dead sick
|
|
and tired of it in the end. Speaking of my tummy, people in my surroundings
|
|
have started to poke on 'You'. I guess You would like to know that You are
|
|
responsible for a lot of hugs and 'pokes'. They say You'll get tired of all
|
|
this poking after a while. I guess I will too.
|
|
A few days ago, your father and I saw the first picture of You. Well, it
|
|
wasn't all that exciting that I thought it would be. The staff that
|
|
developed the picture were quite stressed. But, of course, it felt good
|
|
to know You are okay. They told us You were waving to us and your father
|
|
said he saw it. I didn't see that, however, but I could see your little
|
|
heart and head. And that You had two arms and two legs. They said You were
|
|
kicking to. I'm longing to feel it. It was quite a relief to know that You
|
|
are 'alive and kicking'. From time to time, I have been worried. You seem a
|
|
lot closer to us now, when we have actually seen You. It's just a few months
|
|
left until You will be here. I hope we will be enough prepared.
|
|
Even though there is a lot of time left before You will show up, an hour
|
|
won't pass without You being on my mind. I have started to notice how You
|
|
move around inside of me. It is great. Your father is trying to feel and to
|
|
hear You too. He puts his ear to my belly, even though I tell him it's a bit
|
|
early. I'm not sure if he longs as much as I do. Perhaps it's different for
|
|
fathers.
|
|
I read a lot. Now mostly about how babies grow. And about what is going
|
|
to happen when the time comes for You to enter 'the outside world'. People
|
|
ask me if I'm scared, but I'm not - yet. Right now I'm only so happy You are
|
|
on your way. I have started to knit You a sweater. I hope You are going to
|
|
like it. And grandma is buying You a lot of stuff. There are a lot of things
|
|
You need, even though You will be pretty small in the beginning.
|
|
Today, I listened to your heartbeats now. WOW, that was amazing! It felt
|
|
like the sound absorbed me. Now I know, once again, that You are okay. I
|
|
cannot help it, but I'm still worried that something will go wrong. But I
|
|
guess that is normal.
|
|
Sometimes, I lie awake at night, just enjoying the feeling of your
|
|
movements. You kick a lot in the early morning hours. I usually get very
|
|
pissed if someone wakes me up at four AM, but for You, my soon-to-be
|
|
firstborn, it's okay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #403 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #403
|
|
Call KASTLEROCK -> +1-412-527-374
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|