116 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
116 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
### #### ### ### ### ####
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
### ### ### ### ###
|
|
### ### ##### ### ###
|
|
########## ### ### ##########
|
|
### ###
|
|
### ###
|
|
|
|
Underground eXperts United
|
|
|
|
Presents...
|
|
|
|
####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ##
|
|
#### ## ## #### # # #### ####### #######
|
|
## ## ## ## ##### # ## ## ##
|
|
## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### #######
|
|
|
|
[ Three Ways Total Losers Get Even ] [ By The Chief ]
|
|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
____________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
Three Ways Total Losers Get Even
|
|
|
|
You know there are a million of the "Get Even" type of t-files out
|
|
there. You know most of them are pretty okay, actually pretty useful
|
|
in certain circumstances. But then there are the totally and utterly
|
|
useless ones. The ones telling you to "write stupid and crazy messages
|
|
on their bulletin board", or "call them on the phone and hang up
|
|
when they answer twice every hour". Brainless advice, that is.
|
|
|
|
That's why this file is called "How Losers Get Even" (well, it isn't
|
|
called that, I know, but it would have been called that if I had included
|
|
_all_ the ways losers get even, and then you would have complained about
|
|
this file taking up too much space on your drive, and I don't have time
|
|
for that. Or something.) I got the idea from reading a couple of such
|
|
files, and the "good advice" is actually grabbed from a couple of them.
|
|
But remember, even though these files are useless, it doesn't mean that
|
|
they are humorless, if you think about it. Store them under "humor"
|
|
instead of deleting them. Let's see what we have here, deep down in the
|
|
fridge...
|
|
|
|
|
|
If someone messes around with me...
|
|
|
|
1. "I can go and kick the shit out of him/her. But this is only instant
|
|
satisfaction, and it will only hurt him/her physically, which is only
|
|
temporary, which means that he/she will soon forget about it."
|
|
|
|
Chief Comment: Sure he/she will forget about it soon. Right after he/she
|
|
gathered all his/her friends and kicked the living shit
|
|
out of me. Again. Then I gather all my friends and kick
|
|
the you-know-what out of him/her. Again. And he/she will
|
|
forget about it really soon, again, only this time right
|
|
after he/she cocks the gun and takes me out. Yeah, really
|
|
good advice there, and totally new to me.
|
|
|
|
2. "I will lay low for a while, letting my anger boil, and letting
|
|
him/her forget about the whole thing. Then after a week, I do some
|
|
damage to his/her car, mailbox, house or something. And I will keep
|
|
on doing it for a while because he/she will not suspect me. And I
|
|
will cause some major psychical as well as physical damage, and
|
|
he/she can't think of anyone who could do such a terrible thing
|
|
to him/her. This person will start to think that there is something
|
|
wrong with him/her instead! A very basic human reaction."
|
|
|
|
Chief Comment: Yeah, right. This someone will never suspect me of
|
|
mutilating his/her car a week after I have been mutilated
|
|
myself by him/her... of course not! This person has
|
|
forgotten _all_ about it and will not catch or even just
|
|
see me on the 5th night when I smash the mailbox for the
|
|
5th time, because this person is so stupid that he/she can
|
|
not grasp that if it happens several times it is just a
|
|
matter of keeping an eye on the mailbox/car/house. He/she
|
|
will instead start to question himself/herself in a
|
|
Freudian manner, wondering if there might be something
|
|
wrong with him/her. Yes, of course. How could I believe
|
|
something else even?!! All the really stupid people do
|
|
that! And I never knew that these people have really bad
|
|
memories either!
|
|
|
|
3. "I piss in his/her glass of milk when he/she is not looking. And then,
|
|
when he/she drinks it, he/she will wonder if the milk was bad or
|
|
something and will never suspect me."
|
|
|
|
Chief Comment: Oh - this sounds like a great idea! First I have to wait
|
|
for this person, who kicked my butt, to get some milk and
|
|
a glass. Then I have to be sure that I will sit next to
|
|
this person who just kicked my butt when he/she will drink
|
|
the milk. Then, and this is crucial, _before_ he/she takes
|
|
a zip of that fresh milk (or he/she will notice that the
|
|
milk was good before, right?) I just say to him/her "look
|
|
over there, a bird or something!", make sure he/she looks
|
|
at that thing, and then stand up, pull down my pants, pull
|
|
out the steel rod and take a leak in his/her glass, tuck
|
|
the rod back in there, pull up my pants and sit down again,
|
|
while this person looks at the bird or something. Mhmmm.
|
|
And then, on top of all this, this utterly stupid person
|
|
will not see the strangely colored milk in his/her glass,
|
|
drink it, and think that it was bad from the start. Yeah.
|
|
I mean... this one isn't even worth a comment really!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dumbass!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
uXu #325 Underground eXperts United 1996 uXu #325
|
|
Call SOTH'S DOMAIN -> +1-401-463-8889
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|