78 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
78 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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[ A Woman's Conscience ] [ By Knyttet ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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A woman's conscience
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Her conscience said nothing, it felt as if it were holding its breath. She
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couldn't really get it. She was one of those people who always get a bad
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conscience about small things. For not always baking all the bread the
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family needed, for not always making her bed, for forgetting someone's
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birthday. She felt guilty whenever she yelled at the kids even though they
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sometimes needed it. And now when she committed a crime, a big crime in both
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her and other people's eyes, she didn't feel a thing.
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She guessed it would come, sooner or later. She felt odd, strange, she
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almost missed the feeling of guilt. She was used to always carry it, like a
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lot of other people. It was her shield against a lot of things. She
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sometimes felt that she could get away with almost anything just because she
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was feeling so guilty. The feeling of guilt was a sort of punishment that
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made up for the act which almost justified it. But now when she had made
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something really bad, she didn't feel a thing.
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She was thinking about her family, how they would take it. Maybe she
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didn't have to tell the kids, but she would sure have to tell her husband.
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Still, she wasn't feeling guilty, and she was feeling ashamed just because
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of the lack of a feeling she had grown so used to. She thought "I can't go
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home and tell him, not now, not until I regret what I have done. He will see
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through me as he always does."
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Her husband was one of the people that used to give her a bad conscience,
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for everything she did, and of a lot of things she didn't. He used to talk
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about how his mother always used to do things and what things she used to
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do. She knows why he did it, to make her feel guilty, because that made him
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feel like he had some kind of power.
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Sometimes she just felt like screaming at him. To tell him how pathetic
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he was. He wasn't a real man, not in her eyes. A real man don't need to give
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his wife bad conscience just to feel powerful. A real man had that much
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perspective that he could see how selfish and foolish that would be. A real
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man was someone who could see and understand a woman's need of affection and
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understanding - and who could give it to her. A real man was someone like
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this man she just met, that she had committed the crime with.
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The crime of being unfaithful.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #296 Underground eXperts United 1996 uXu #296
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Call DIGITAL ANARCHY -> +1-703-758-0950
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