141 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
141 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
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[ Speech For The Defence ] [ By The GNN ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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"SPEECH FOR THE DEFENCE"
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by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu
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"What is mind? What is matter? Never mind."
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(unknown)
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I look around and I see people. Everywhere I look I can see them. They
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walk the streets of my city, they sit in front of me at the library, they
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eat lunch at the same restaurant as me. Sometimes, they give me a look but
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I quickly look away. It is dangerous to stare (and even look) at people in
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a big city. They might be killers, madmen or just looking for a fight. I
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walk the streets, watching the sidewalk pass below my feet. I cannot look
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at people. People are dangerous.
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At night I sit on my bed, alone. I hear my neighbors chat and play
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music. Outside, I hear the rumbling noise of passing vehicles. When I
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tip-toe to the window and look out, I can see neon signs and crowds of
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people far below me. I live in a very nice flat on the seventh floor. I
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am rich, but not famous. Some of my friends says that they look up to me
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and wants to be like me. But in reality, they do not want to. They have
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no feelings at all.
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Why am I so successful? Why do I have plenty of money? Why have I never
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failed? I opened my eyes on the fourth of november in the merciful year of
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nineteen seventy-three. The year is now nineteen ninety-seven, hence I am
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twenty-four years old. I believe. I cannot be sure. I cannot be sure of
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anything around me.
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You see, I have begun to think. For the first time in my life, I think
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about the world around me. What is this world? Who am I? Why do I live?
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My life has been a constant search for more pleasure and more success. I
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have never ever failed. I have never ever failed.
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I look around, and I see people who fail. How come that I never fail?
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Whatever I do, I do it correct. I have a good education which have led me
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into the so-called good life. The good life consists of money, money and
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everything that money can buy.
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I bought my life. I bought my love. I bought my friends. Is it you, is
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it me - why do I live in ecstasy? It might be reality. But I do not trust
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that thought.
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Is this the good life? Yes, it is the good life. I have the power to
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make people love me and I have to the power to get rid of people who do not
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want to love me. I have more power than God. Because, I have the money.
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Jesus might have been able to transform water into wine, but I can buy more
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wine than Jesus was ever able to drink. I drink the wine of life. It is a
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sweet liquid, but the more I think about myself - the more the liquid
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begins to have a slight taste of bitter.
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I should never have began to think. I should have remained satisfied.
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Faust, Prometheus and me. We all want to know it all. We do not stay
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satisfied with out present knowledge.
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Why? Why! I know things that no one else do. I have used my grey brain
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to achieve knowledge that is forbidden.
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I fear people.
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They are dangerous.
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They are dangerous because they are not real people. I am a real human
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being made of flesh and blood. I have a grey brain and a pulsating heart.
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The shadows around me are not humans. They are machines, made of steel and
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electronic. Their feelings and thoughts are mechanical, covered by soft
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plastic that looks and feels just like real skin.
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They only way to control them is to buy them. They have no souls nor any
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possibility to think rational. I am the only human being that is able to
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do that. Is not that funny?
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I know that I am right about this. I am so positive, that I could die
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for it. How come that I have never failed? How come that other people are
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like they are? They are not like me. I am special. I am rich. I am God.
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But I am also a guinea-pig, placed in a huge vivarium, perhaps watched by a
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doctor in a white uniform.
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I want proof. I want to be sure that I am right. Rational thinking is
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good, but empirical data is alway correct. Perhaps I am wrong. But this
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feeling is so strong, that I cannot resist to test.
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I opened the door to my flat, said hello and let her in. She said she
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had missed me and that she needed to rest. She had worked all day, she
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said. I watched her fingers and saw a ring that looked exactly like mine.
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I knew that it was me who had placed the ring there. She went into the
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kitchen and I followed her. I thought, what should I do, what should I do?
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I did it. I stabbed her in the back with my boot knife that I had bought
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this afternoon. She screamed and tried to remove it from her back. She
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danced around in the kitchen, screaming, screaming, screaming. I stepped
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back, bit my lip and watched her.
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She screamed and I covered my ears.
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She looked at me with frightened eyes and I closed my eyes.
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After two hours, I looked up. I must have passed out, since, I lied on
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the kitchen floor. She was in front of me on the floor. Her eyes stared
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at me. They stared right into my eyes. I must have missed her mechanical
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heart with the knife, since it took such a long time for her to die.
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My hands shaked but I had to move her. When she lied on her stomach, I
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drew the knife out of her body. It was covered with fake blood, like the
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floor.
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I need proof! I knew I needed proof. I just had to do one more thing
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and then I would be completely sure that I was right. I cut her open with
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the knife and stared into her body.
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I saw that I was wrong.
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But sometimes, I know that I am right anyway.
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I have never ever failed, and I never will.
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/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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What are you going to do? Sell it on CD-ROM? HA HA HA!
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Project Runeberg up yours. ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU /pub/Zines/UXU
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I fought the law, and I won.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #209 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #209
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Call UNDERWORLD_1994.COM -> +1-514-683-1894
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