266 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
266 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
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### ###
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### #### ### ### ### ####
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### ### ##### ### ###
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### ### ##### ### ###
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########## ### ### ##########
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### ###
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### ###
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Underground eXperts United
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Presents...
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####### ## ## ####### # # #### ####### #######
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## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ####### ####### # # ###### ####### #######
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[ Methods For Creating A Paranoid Lifestyle ] [ By The GNN/Hedge ]
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____________________________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________________________
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METHODS FOR CREATING A PARANOID LIFESTYLE
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written by HEDGE and THE GNN
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Things and questions to ponder:
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1) An accident is not always an accident.
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2) There is always something going on behind your back.
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3) Friendly people are never friendly because they like you.
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4) A telephone is not a device for communication, it is a
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"Give-Away-Your-Private-Life-To-The-Authorities"-device.
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5) Never trust a "Walk" sign when crossing a road.
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6) Always test a food recipe on someone else before you eat.
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7) When a friend loans you money it is a sure sign of 3).
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8) Never trust a female.
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9) Never trust a male.
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10) Let your friend start the car.
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11) Your apartment is bugged.
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12) Let the dog open all your mail.
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13) Do not respect warning signs.
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14) Your parents know:
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a) They want you to take care of them when they get older.
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b) They forgot to use a condom.
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c) They failed the abortion.
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15) No one likes you, get that straight dumb-ass!
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16) You believe you are nothing, but trust me... you are the star when it
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comes to the global conspiracy.
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17) You are the third person who reads your mail. The sender reads it, then
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the police reads it and finally you.
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18) An instruction book for any advanced electrical device can easily be
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manipulated. Take precautions: Wear rubber shoes and turn on your new
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toaster.
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19) A sniper is watching you through his gunsight at this very moment.
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20) A quiet friend is the one who has your apartment bugged.
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21) Do you know what is inside your TV?
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22) Your wife fakes orgasms in bed.
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23) A tourist with a camera is not always a tourist.
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24) Voting is not democracy. It is a way to find out where your sympathies
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lies.
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25) Who installed your computer?
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26) Can you hear your neighbor? He can hear you.
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27) They can see you. They can hear you. They are just waiting for the
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right moment.
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28) How long has that blue van been standing outside your house?
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29) Your relatives are not your relatives. They work for a foreign power.
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30) Do you know what the bartender just put in your drink? I know.
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31) Your pet is a advanced tapping device. Just cut it open and find out.
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32) New postman? Suspect a conspiracy.
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33) All music contains hidden messages that makes you do things you never
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wanted to do.
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34) One word: Russia.
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35) Another word: U.S.A.
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36) Some other words: Your government.
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37) They always blame you.
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38) More words: Your government is allied with the other words.
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39) You are expendable.
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40) Do you know what really happens to your credit card slips? Haha...
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41) You are not meant to read this file.
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42) Behind you!
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43) What is that chopper doing there?
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44) It is a shame that you do not own a gun... You will need it tomorrow.
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45) Garbage looters are government spies.
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46) Everybody, except you, pisses in the swimming pool.
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47) Are you sure that the lamp in your refrigerator turns off when you
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close the door?
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48) A beautiful day is a good day for work. The police thinks that too.
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49) Fear darkness.
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50) Fear sunlight.
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51) When you are asleep, others are awake.
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52) Are your dreams really your dreams?
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53) Everything you do is monitored.
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54) The real party begins when you leave.
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55) How could your neighbor afford such an expensive car?
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56) How could your wife afford such an expensive fur?
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57) How come the telephone only rings when you are at home?
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58) Your teacher, boss, wife, child, superior and friend are all parts of
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something you are not.
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59) Is there a trap door under your airplane seat?
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60) Truths are lies. Lies are truths.
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61) Your world was created just to find out how you behave.
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62) Why is that girl being so nice to you?
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63) Your family tree is confidential information.
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64) Your childhood was unhappy. Even if you deny it.
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65) Suspect something if someone visits you.
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66) Suspect something if no one visits you.
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67) Your cat was not killed by a car. It was taken in for questioning and
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then executed.
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68) They created the word "friendship" just to make you feel secure.
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69) You are at the right place for them at the wrong time for you.
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70) Always think ahead.
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71) A surprise could kill you.
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72) Death is always painful. They have told you that suicide is painless,
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just to get you going.
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73) There is no God.
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74) Things never seen are always worth knowing. Too bad you never see them.
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75) Your child is growing fast. Is it the same person?
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76) Is it the same news in your paper as in your neighbors?
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77) Explosives are easily hidden.
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78) If you look under your bed, you will be killed.
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79) Is the closet door open when you go to bed? Never mind closing it, it
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will be open in the morning anyway.
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80) There are no ghosts. It is only your government.
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81) George Orwell was your only friend.
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82) They always smile before they stab you.
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83) Death is a liberator.
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84) Never show feelings. It will be used against you.
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85) Do not let them see you drunk.
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86) Do not let them see you at all.
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87) Use the sewer for transportation.
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88) What is behind your mirror?
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89) Do not read your mail. Do not answer the phone. Do not talk to anyone.
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90) Just wait.
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91) Never sleep at the same place twice.
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92) The government invented your hangover.
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93) Who controls your thoughts?
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94) Your fingerprints are everywhere.
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95) You have always overlooked something important.
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96) They have enough evidence.
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97) Someone is laughing at your sexual habits at this very moment.
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98) No one will tell you about your bad breath.
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99) Try living as normal as possible while you are trying to understand
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what is actually going on.
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100) Who ACTUALLY wrote this?
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-------------------------------------------------------------
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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uXu #189 Underground eXperts United 1994 uXu #189
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Call THE KUNGFU THEATRE -> +1-401-351-5345
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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