68 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
uSu - united States underground By:Mind Bender
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fedz, why they suck, and how to avoid them
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Yes, why all know that fedz suck, they ruin fun, they make life
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miserable for anyonw who doesn't SUCK! That's just the basics. The also
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suck because they couldn't solve a crime without all their high tech shit.
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This file is saying that the fedz as a group and stupid and suck, not that
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each indivisual fed is stupid. There must be at least some smart fedz, but
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not enough to make any kind of difference.
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The fedz are very stupid, there are only 3 reasons fedz ever catch
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people.
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1. All their high-tech shit
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2. right place-right time
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3. reports from people
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1.
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Encyclopedia Brown could catch more people than the fedz if the fedz
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didn't have all this high tech shit :). All this fingerprint dusting, call
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tracing, etc. Without there gadgets, they can't do anything.
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2.
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If a fed is on patrol and he happens to see a robbery. He drives
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as fast as the fedmobile can go and catches the guy. This is luck.
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3.
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Reports, like when someone calls and goes, somebody's in my house!
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TO AVOID FEDZ
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1. before commiting a crime, think what high-tech gadgets they could
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use and then try to come up with ways to make it so the gadgets will be
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useless, like to avoid call tracing you would use a payphone and be quick.
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or to avoid fingerprints you would use gloves. This part requires some
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thought.
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2. When a fed sees you by sheer luck, you have got some problems,
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it helps if you have a mask, so they can't identify you. Also don't use a
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car, because fedz have cars that can go very fast, and have better suspension
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not to mention other things.
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3. After someone sees you, or a fed, if you know, run, leave town
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lose or gain a few pounds and shave your head. You could also make yourself
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look different when you commit the crime(before-hand preperation). Then make
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yourself look normal again. Like die your hair, lose or gain pounds, get a
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stick on tatto and remove it. Get some lenses for your eyes. Put makeup on
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so you look like you have a scar. Limp, whatever, you have to be a good
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actor to do some of these things.
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I hope that helps, cya and look for more uSu releases soon.
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-Mind Bender
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