174 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
174 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
uSu - united States underground By:Cyberglitch
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Fun vandalism - things to do when you're bored
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(Hey you, yeah you, your Disclaimer HERE!)
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(Please forgive the grammer in this oh such fun document, i was laughing like)
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(hell while typing it)
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Ah yes everyone now and then just want's to get some pressure off(yeah
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right, uh-huh, we all know what we're after, to make some poor schmuck's life
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a living hell). Well what can we do to some loser. Well here's are a few
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examples, and trust me from experience never do night-by-night vandalism,
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unless no one absolutly sees you or is even suspicous. Oh yeah if you're gonna
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do any type of vanadalism make sure it's aa night(as yes that means where dark
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clothes, don't be the dumb schmuck wearing bright neon colors, you might as
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well yell to the police hey watch me over here while i do some vandalism. It
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just doesn't work out good for you, if you must bring a flashlight make it a
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small one, something that'll fit into your pocket. Ok here we go...
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1) Heh does that annoying loser you know have one of those mailboxes
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on a piece of shit wooden post? Well we can fix that many
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ways. My favorite just knock the damm thing off, then a couple
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blocks away put it in the middle of the road when no one's
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looking, it's get's even better if it's right in front of
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thier house and they run it over themselves!!! Watch them get
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all pissed while you're watching off from a distance laughing
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telling your freind to pass the pop-corn.
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What don't like breaking off people's mailbox's? Well how about
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purchasing yourself a nice Pineaplle(or two, and we all know
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where to get them, from Chinatown of course, well if you can get
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to hoboken or directly to World Trade Center it's just a couple
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blocks away from the Twin Towers, take the train, bus whatever
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just make sure you have one of your Bud's with you, more than
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one wouldn't hurt, when purchasing them never go for the price
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they say rip them off, never go for the price they give you how
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insulting, heh heh), anyways make a nice long extended fuse a
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paper towel twisted up nice and tightly over the wick does a
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nice job for a couple minutes to get away, or if you're lazy
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attach a cigarrette to the fuse. Then go to the oh so famous
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mailbox leave your little welcome card(the pineapple, and yes
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the light the wick), ring the door bell, run like hell, then
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watch them cry as their mailbox blows up in their face.
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2) Ever wanted to break a window without rocks, well get your hands on
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a pineapple and some pretty strong tape and a extended fuse.
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attach the extended fuse(like in #1) to the wick, then with the
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tape(were gloves when doing this just in case, heh heh) the
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pineapple with the extended wick on it to the window, light
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and run like hell. Get a safe distance where you could make
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yourself sorta disappear out of sight, then watch as the
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window get's a nice blow job, err oops i meant blowup job, heh
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heh.
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3) So this loser has a car eh? Gee these can be so much fun the fuck up.
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Why that you ask, well simply put you can do more damage to a
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car then a mailbox, heh heh, here's some examples. What's this
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an open window on the car, heh well no one's looking or even
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around take a nice long leak onto those nice leather seats. Whoa
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what a stench glad that ain't my car! Heh heh, need some glass
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for god knows what? well don't break the card window's instead
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get a plunger, suction it onto the window and then with the nice
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glass cutter you have gently cut out a nice piece(s) of glass,
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ahh for the hell of it cut out some words like, "Fuck you", or
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"Anarchy rulez", then as an added bonus, whats that the pieces
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of glass you have you feal nervous taking them, oops oh well now
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that i've dropped then in the street some other schmuck has to
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clean it up. Oh well heh heh. Oh yeah before i forget one of my
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favorite, get's some high grade cement all ready mixed and
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something to put it in to pour it out with. Then with some
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really strong tape(use electrical tape) pour the cement into the
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tailpipe, then put the masking tape over the end let dry, and
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let's see the fucker try and get anywhere's with that stuck in
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his tailpipe.
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4) Bottles, bottles, bottles... what are they good for, lot's of things.
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you may be thinking well let's drop some in the road. well
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there's even more fun you can do with them, for instance with
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some gasoline pour it into one of the glass bottles, then tape
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a pineapple with some masking tape onto the side of the bottle
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now filled with gasoline, and for god's sake make sure there's
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no gasoline on the outside of the bottle. Then with a, i mean
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REALLY!, extended fuse attach it to the wick of the pineapple
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then put on someone's door step or wherever you think change
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would be nice(heh heh), light and get the fuck out of there, you
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wanna be atleast about 100ft away god know's how big of an
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explosing that'll make.
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5) Payphones what can we do with these, why annoy the hell out of an
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operator, call up 411, ask for a "Yes i'd like the number for
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a Last Name:Anus, First name:Your" when she comes back on(if you
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get the stupid one, she/he'll probally say something like, "I
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don't see anything under Your Anus.", then either laugh or say
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something like (if you get a male) "I'll you faggot!", (a cute
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sounding female) "Well if you'd like to check under my anus
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again just give me the time and place". And if you get an old
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bitch just hangup. Before leaving you just so happen to be next
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to the guy who's talking alot on the payphone get wouldn't it be
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a shame if was interrupted by someone calling the pay phone you
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just got off of? Well let's do it anyways dial 550 and the last
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four digit's of the phone number, listen for dial tone, then
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gently click a couple times until you hear a low pitch noise,
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hangup walk away. Watch the fucker talking so much on the other
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phone get pissed answering the other phone that's ringing like
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hell, and there realize's when he picks it up no once called and
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the person he was talking to hangup on him/her. Or better yet
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instead of even doing that twist off the mouth pieces, heh heh
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that'll piss off anyone who needs to use a payphone in a hurry
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and there's nothing to talk into! Heh it's even better if you
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could sell the mouth piece and ear piece to some schmuck that
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thinks it's a portable radio for about $30! Heh that's a good
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way to make money.
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6) Damm street lights, too fucking bright eh? Gives off where you are?
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well if they're those short gas-light ones you're in luck, well
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someone going to have to replace the broken glass, heh after you
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break it. Oh yeah before breaking any glass make sure you plot
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out a place where you're gonna run and hide at. This way if a
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cop comes while you're doing it, he won't find, well that all
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depends on how good you can hide and what you're wearing, ie...
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don't be the dumbass with the bright clothes on trying to hide
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in a bush just doesn't work.
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7) What the loser you're driving mad is happyily married. Well we can
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change that. How is this, from a payphone call up the person
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you wanna ruin, then ask if his wife is there(works better if
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you know his wife's last name and his first name), then do the
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following, "Hello is a Mrs. I'm a bimbio there? may i please
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speak to her", "Who might this be calling?", "oh it's her old
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boyfriend, Joey, wow you must be the lucky man that married her?
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boy she realy knows how to give a blow job, oh and that little
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teddy that she wears without the panties,ummm ummm ummm", heh
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listen outside the house for a while, and listen to the oh so
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interesting argument.
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8) Wanna get someone framed. Well dial 411. as play out the dialouge
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below.
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OPERATOR:Hello what town and name please
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YOU:Hello this is <Your victim's full name here>, what's your
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name
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OPERATOR:<confused> uhh it's Pam Johnson(whatever)
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YOU:Well Pam Johnson, i wanna fuck you, and if you don't give
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me your address now i'll just look it up in the phone book
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book and come over your house and jump you when you least
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expect it, and don't try tracing this call(do this from a
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payphone for crying out loud!), if you ever find me i'll
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just deny anything you say. Then i'll find you and fuck
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you over.
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heh watch your the victim(the person you said you were) be
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harrassed and shit for no reason at all. Kinda of stupid but
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if you're convincing enough there'll be trouble heh heh.
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9) Are trash can's any fun well if you can pick it up and carry it
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around that is, have fun dump some of the half eaten crap onto
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someone's front porch, hell dump the whole can on it, ring the
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doorbell, watch some old guy come out and say "whoa what a
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stench!", and if you wanna be cute light it up. Only light it
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if you're really, really pissed off at this person.
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10) Can i do anything with this loser's phone lines? Well that all
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depends, you wanna eavsdrop and snoop, and record what you
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learn of onto tape or something and blackmail the fucker(not
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original but you make some sort of profit out of it, depending
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how private it is), or if you're just totally pissed at that
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person just snap the phone wires(the small ones idiot! Don't
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do any of the fat thicks ones unless you like getting fried
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to death), heh watch as it cost him money to get the lines
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fixed. Or better take two losers phone lines and switch the
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lines, so the one loser get's the other loser's calls.
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Well that's all for now, heh that out'ta keep you entertained for a while! Be
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on the look out for more uSu releases soon.
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