561 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
561 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
The Unplastic News #7 Dec.92 NUDE HEAD ISSUE
|
|
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
|
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo the unplastic news issue #7 oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo Platypus Electric Publishing Inc., Co. & Son oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo TTTTTTTTTT HH HH EEEEEE oo
|
|
oo TT HH HH EE oo
|
|
oo TT HHHHHH EEEE oo
|
|
oo TT HH HH EE oo
|
|
oo TT HH HH EEEEEE oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo UU UU N N PPPPPP L AAAAAA SSSSS TTTTTT II CCCCCC oo
|
|
oo UU UU NN N PP P L A A SS TT II CC oo
|
|
oo UU UU N N N PPPPPP L AAAAAA SSSSS TT II CC oo
|
|
oo UUUUUU N NN PP L A A SS TT II CC oo
|
|
oo UUUUUU N N PP LLLLL A A SSSSS TT II CCCCCC oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo N N EEEEEE W W SSSSS oo
|
|
oo NN N EE W W SS oo
|
|
oo N N N EEEE W W W SSSSS oo
|
|
oo N N N EE W W W SS oo
|
|
oo N NN EEEEEE WWWWWWW SSSSS oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo ....... the unplastic news ........ oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
oo T H E N U D E H E A D I S S U E !!! oo
|
|
oo oo
|
|
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
|
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bald is Beautiful
|
|
|
|
...and hairy ain't so bad neither.
|
|
|
|
________________________________________________________________________
|
|
0)--(0 0)--(0 0)--(0 0)--(0 0)--(0 0)--(0 0)--(0
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.
|
|
Yul Brynner, 1956
|
|
|
|
|
|
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|
|
|
|
========================================================================
|
|
|
|
|
| the unplastic news is available
|
|
CONTENTS: | at the following ftp news stands:
|
|
^^^^^^^^^ |
|
|
Thoughts | redspread.css.itd.umich.edu
|
|
Material from | ftp.eff.org
|
|
B. Hathrume Duk | quartz.rutgers.edu
|
|
thrilling bald stuff |
|
|
Quotes |
|
|
Things odd | or by subscription by sending e-mail to:
|
|
hairless poetry |
|
|
More quotes | tibbetts@hsi.hsi.com
|
|
Viewer Submissions |
|
|
=========================================================================
|
|
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
|
|
|
|
The Unplastic News is a magazine. We publish electronically.
|
|
Our viewers live all around the Earth. Send us on to someone
|
|
who likes to read short odd pieces aranged in absolutely no
|
|
order whatsoever. We hope this makes you giggle or think.
|
|
The theme of this issue is Bald People because we have bald
|
|
friends who demand their human rights. Hail the bald...
|
|
|
|
Can anyone verify the fact that Queen Elizabeth was bald? I
|
|
was told this by a friendly witch but can not find evidence.
|
|
|
|
Send Comments About The Queen's Hairiness
|
|
And Other Mail To:
|
|
|
|
tibbetts@saturn.hsi.com
|
|
|
|
we love submissions
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thaloneous Platypus, R.N., PhD, BBQ
|
|
Rockport Maine, Dec. 1992
|
|
|
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
|
|
|
|
420 B.C.
|
|
Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, attempted to
|
|
fend off his hair loss by creating topical potions made
|
|
of opium, horse radish, pigeon droppings, beet root and
|
|
various spices.
|
|
|
|
info pamphlet from
|
|
Upjohn (makers of Minoxidil)
|
|
|
|
|
|
/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\
|
|
=====================================================================
|
|
|
|
|
|
How you lose or keep your hair depends on how wisely you choose
|
|
your parents.
|
|
Edward R. Nida
|
|
USFDA
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No man can have a reasonable opinion of women until he has long
|
|
lost interest in hair restorers.
|
|
Austin O'Malley
|
|
|
|
|
|
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
|
|
|
|
|
|
...and Remember...
|
|
|
|
The Baldheaded Men of America
|
|
|
|
m e e t
|
|
|
|
every year
|
|
|
|
in Morehead City, NC
|
|
|
|
Call them at: (919) 726-1004
|
|
|
|
|
|
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
|
|
|
|
I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair.
|
|
Tom Sharp
|
|
standup comedian
|
|
|
|
|
|
~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><~.,~><
|
|
|
|
|
|
"In Omaha, Nebraska it is against the law for a
|
|
barber to shave a man's chest."
|
|
|
|
Loony Laws... That You Never Knew You Were Breaking
|
|
by Robert Wayne Pelton
|
|
|
|
|
|
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
|
|
|
|
...and now, from the Faux-Bald:
|
|
|
|
,
|
|
Sinead O'Connor called [Mike] Tyson "only a little tiny baby"
|
|
and further opined that the victim was "a bitch. I don't care
|
|
if he raped her...She's used him. She's a disgrace to women."
|
|
|
|
|
|
SPY Top 100
|
|
|
|
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
|
|
BALDNESS & RELIGION
|
|
|
|
by:
|
|
B. Hathrume Duk
|
|
|
|
|
|
Apparently in biblical times, removing one's hair or having one's hair
|
|
forcibly removed served a number of purposes. For example, as a means of
|
|
expressing remorse during mourning:
|
|
|
|
"Both the great and the small shall die in this land: they shall not
|
|
be buried, neither shall men lament for them, nor cut themselves,
|
|
nor make themselves bald for them."
|
|
|
|
JER 16:6
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some sources also list it as a potential form of punishment:
|
|
|
|
"Son of man, Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon caused his army to serve
|
|
a great service against Tyrus: every head was made bald, and every
|
|
shoulder was peeled: yet had he no wages, nor his army, for Tyrus,
|
|
for the service that he had served against it."
|
|
|
|
EZE 29:18
|
|
|
|
|
|
Overall, the official church view seemed to be accepting of baldness:
|
|
|
|
"And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald;
|
|
yet is he clean."
|
|
|
|
LEV 13:40
|
|
|
|
|
|
In fact, the bible goes so far as to warn potential teasers of the bald:
|
|
|
|
"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by
|
|
the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and
|
|
mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up,
|
|
thou bald head."
|
|
|
|
KI2 2:23
|
|
|
|
"And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name
|
|
of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and
|
|
tare forty and two children of them."
|
|
|
|
KI2 2:24
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Mormon church seems to be the first church with its
|
|
own church-guaranteed anti-balding protection system. Apparently,
|
|
the citizens of Utah are scarcely a balding bunch:
|
|
|
|
Alma 11:44
|
|
Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young,
|
|
both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the
|
|
righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their
|
|
heads be lost; but every thing shall be restored to its perfect
|
|
frame, as it is now...
|
|
|
|
|
|
==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==*==
|
|
|
|
|
|
1800 A.D.
|
|
Englishmen tried to jolt their hair follicles into action
|
|
by brushing cold Indian tea and then fresh lemon on their
|
|
scalp. Less gentrified folk tried to fertilize their scalps
|
|
with fresh chicken droppings.
|
|
|
|
info pamphlet from
|
|
Upjohn (makers of Minoxidil)
|
|
|
|
|
|
)^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^( )^(
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Everyone wants to understand art. Why not try to understand the song of a
|
|
bird? Why does one love the night, flowers, everything around one, without
|
|
trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting people have to
|
|
understand....People who try to explain pictures are usually barking up the
|
|
wrong tree.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pablo Picasso
|
|
(bald person)
|
|
|
|
_________________________________________________________________________
|
|
>-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-< >-<
|
|
|
|
Question:
|
|
What are the desirable qualifications for any young man
|
|
who wishes to become a politician?
|
|
|
|
Sir Winston Churchill's Answer:
|
|
It is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow,
|
|
next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability
|
|
afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Churchill on the NAVY
|
|
|
|
"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing
|
|
but rum, sodomy and the lash."
|
|
|
|
|
|
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////////
|
|
|
|
A bald guy I know down in Maine
|
|
tells me: "Sleet storms cause me severe pain.
|
|
I'd grow hair if I could,
|
|
but a good Gortex hood
|
|
is cheaper by far than Rogaine.
|
|
|
|
--> dad
|
|
|
|
?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?><>?>?>>?><
|
|
|
|
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The "green revolution" to feed hungry mouths in the
|
|
developing world has a promising new star, scientists said Monday: the hairy
|
|
potato.
|
|
Unlike most potatoes that are highly susceptible to pests, said scientist
|
|
K.V. Raman, the hirsute spud fights them off.
|
|
The shaggy tuber is developed from a wild potato with thin hairs. These
|
|
hairs on the plant's stalks and leaves secrete a sticky substance that traps
|
|
and kills small insects as they feed or reproduce.
|
|
The plant combats a larger common pest, the Colorado beetle, in a different
|
|
way. The insect eats the leaves and gets a serious case of constipation from
|
|
the sticky secretion. The bug's stomach bloats, crushing its ovaries and
|
|
curtailing its reproduction.
|
|
While the tufted tater will reduce such environmental and financial costs,
|
|
it still tastes like a normal potato, said Prof. Robert Plaisted of Cornell
|
|
University, which has been developing hybrids under contract to the potato
|
|
center for 15 years. The new spud species also has the same nutrition value as
|
|
currently cultivated potatoes, and similar yields and growing characteristics,
|
|
he said.
|
|
|
|
|
|
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
|
|
'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
|
|
|
|
I saw a T-shirt a few weeks ago:
|
|
|
|
"It's not a bald spot. It's a solar panel for a sex machine."
|
|
|
|
Steve
|
|
|
|
|
|
/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}/\[]{}
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Can't act. Slightly bald. Also dances."
|
|
|
|
Studio official's comment
|
|
on Fred Astaire
|
|
|
|
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The Falklands thing, the Falklands War of 1982, was a
|
|
fight between two bald men over a comb."
|
|
|
|
Jorge Luis Borges
|
|
In Time 14 Feb. 1983
|
|
|
|
|
|
=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+=+-+
|
|
|
|
HAIR
|
|
|
|
John Michael Kohler Arts Center, Sheboygan, WI USA
|
|
|
|
An exhibition that examines the social meanings of
|
|
hair in our society today
|
|
|
|
Contact: John Micheal Kohler Arts Center, 608 New York Avenue
|
|
Sheboygan, WI 53082-0489 USA
|
|
tel: 414-458-6144
|
|
|
|
|
|
IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I think that people want peace so much that one of these
|
|
days governments had better get out of the way and let
|
|
them have it."
|
|
|
|
Dwight D. Eisenhower
|
|
(bald offical)
|
|
|
|
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
|
|
|
|
Glenn Ruahcer's 18 Famous Bald People
|
|
|
|
1) Richard "Baldy" Ewell -- Confederate General, Commander of
|
|
Stonewall Jackson's Division after Jackson's death at
|
|
Chancelorville.
|
|
|
|
2) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar -- Milwaukee Bucks and Los Angeles Lakers
|
|
Center, Record Company owner.
|
|
|
|
3) Otis Sistrunk -- Oakland Raiders Defensive End in the '70's
|
|
& early '80's; one of the first football players to shave
|
|
his head.
|
|
|
|
4) James A. Garfield -- President in 1881, until assasinated.
|
|
|
|
5) Sinead O'Connor -- Provocateur, Singer, Anti-Papist.
|
|
|
|
6) Peter Garrett -- Provocatuer, Singer, Unknown views on Pope.
|
|
|
|
7) Egghead -- Batman villain as portrayed by Vincent Price,
|
|
known non-baldy.
|
|
|
|
8) Hunter S. Thompson -- Living American writer.
|
|
|
|
9) Bill Carter -- Shouter, Screaming Blue Messiahs, Baltimore resident.
|
|
|
|
10) Barry Andrews -- XTC keyboardist, Shriekback leader.
|
|
|
|
11) Roger AIles -- Republicans King of Dirty Tricks, scum-fuck.
|
|
|
|
12) Jesse "The Body" Ventura -- Professional Wrestler, Mayor of
|
|
small Minnesota town.
|
|
|
|
13) Sean Connery -- Occasionally be-wigged former Bondsman,
|
|
egotist, wife-beater.
|
|
|
|
14) Yul Brynner -- Former argument against smoking; King & I
|
|
|
|
15) Terry Bradshaw -- Formerly be-toupeed Pittsburgh Steelers
|
|
Quarterback, currnet NBC-TV Footbal commentator.
|
|
|
|
16) Telly Savalas -- Kojak.
|
|
|
|
17) Alan Rachins -- L.A. Law Lawyer.
|
|
|
|
18) Patrick Stewart -- The cool Star Trek Captain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
************************************************************************
|
|
|
|
Recently I saw a film of Gandhi when he came to England in 1930. He
|
|
disembarked in Southampton and on the gangway he was already overwhelmed by
|
|
journalists asking questions. One of them asked, "Mr Gandhi, what do you
|
|
think of modern civilization?" And Mr Gandhi said, "That would be a good
|
|
idea."
|
|
|
|
E. F. Schumacher Good Work (1979)
|
|
|
|
^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//^\\//
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Upjohn sold $103 million worth of Rogaine
|
|
last year in the US alone.
|
|
|
|
Hartford Advocate
|
|
Nov 5, 1992
|
|
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
|
|
|
|
|
|
...and, speaking of NUDE HEADS...
|
|
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|
|
|
|
Andrew Martinez is a sort of student of nakedness. In his
|
|
senior year of high school - during afternoons spent
|
|
smoking pot and "questioning the universe" - he began
|
|
wondering about why people wear clothes. He decided it
|
|
was "stupid," and began to research the legal definition
|
|
of lewd, and the laws and history of nudity.
|
|
|
|
Hartford Courant
|
|
Nov. 23, 1992
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Nude Guy From Berkeley even made the TV news here at the Netherlands.
|
|
In my opinion it is surprising, that such a news item reaches Dutch TV.
|
|
The case reminds me of an event of one or two years ago, which only
|
|
reached a small local newspaper. The story is about as follows:
|
|
|
|
Rotterdam, Three male students were arrested last weekend. Somebody phoned
|
|
the police because the students were naked and walking over a car.
|
|
The students denied having walked over the car. They were put in cell (naked),
|
|
allowing all (male and female) police officers to have a look
|
|
at them. After a short period they were released; they had to walk back home.
|
|
In the nude.
|
|
|
|
Henk-Jan van Tuyl
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Did you hear about the naked guy at Berkeley? I suppose it's OK if he
|
|
wants to go to class nude, but can you imagine having to be the person who has
|
|
to sit in the same seat in the next class? Especially if the seat's still
|
|
warm? But I suppose they were justified in suspending him, I heard 3 or 4
|
|
fellow students were using him to cheat on an anatomy test."
|
|
|
|
Jay Lenno
|
|
|
|
|
|
It is true, people here at Santa Cruz enjoying getting naked. A couple times
|
|
a year there are 'nude parties' in "the Meadow above Elf Land". Cowell
|
|
students are also know for their nude lawn sliding during times of rain. Some
|
|
of these 'lawn people' do decide to venture off and run around campus, but
|
|
this is not too common. I think most of the time they have been smokin a
|
|
little Bill Clinton if ya know what I mean. My roommate enjoys lawn sliding
|
|
and says the only real problem is the sprinkler heads.
|
|
|
|
|
|
David J. Duffield
|
|
|
|
Martinez, who grew up in Cupertino, CA, took his first nude
|
|
walk a couple of years ago, strolling down Saratoga-Sunnyvale
|
|
Road. Last year, he went to class bare-chested. This fall,
|
|
layer by layer, he worked his way down to nakedness and then
|
|
had about two dozen others join him at a "Nude-In" he
|
|
organized Sept. 29 in Sproul Plaza at the University of
|
|
California at Berkeley. The idea was to demonstrate how
|
|
useless and repressive clothing is.
|
|
|
|
Hartford Courant
|
|
Nov. 23, 1992
|
|
|
|
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
|
|
|
|
|
|
In Kenya, any foreigner caught streaking "will be immediately arrested, escort
|
|
directly to the airport in the nude, and put aboard the first available aircraft
|
|
to his country of origin." However, local citizens can streak all they want.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Loony Laws... That You Never Knew You Were Breaking
|
|
by Robert Wayne Pelton
|
|
|
|
|
|
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Comrades! We must abolish the cult of the individual
|
|
decisively, once and for all."
|
|
|
|
Nikita Khrushchev
|
|
(angry bald person)
|
|
|
|
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
|
|
|
|
Rudyard Kipling
|
|
(not-so-angry bald person)
|
|
|
|
|
|
}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}-{:::}
|
|
|
|
"It is a good thing for an
|
|
Special Thanks to: uneducated man to read books
|
|
of quotations."
|
|
zool
|
|
Steven K. Roberts Sir Winston Churchill
|
|
Stephanie Bobo, cyberdelic seamstress
|
|
Glenn Ruahcer
|
|
Susan Rice
|
|
Keith Bostic
|
|
David J. Duffield (:-)
|
|
Henk-Jan van Tuyl
|
|
Harley Hahn
|
|
|
|
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
|
|
_____________________________________________________________________________
|
|
:-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-] :-]
|
|
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
|
|
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
|
|
O OoO oOo
|
|
O Issue #8: The Future Issue OoO Be On The Lookout for oOo
|
|
O OoO oOo
|
|
O Comming Soon OoO The Unplastic News T-Shirt Offer oOo
|
|
O OoO oOo
|
|
O send us quotes regarding OoO ...available very very soon... oOo
|
|
O predictions & paranormal. OoO and cheap! oOo
|
|
O OoO oOo
|
|
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
|
|
|
|
|
|
Who loves ya, baby?
|
|
|
|
-Telly
|
|
|