100 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
100 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
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.::: ::::::: :::. :::::. :
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::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
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presents
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Trix Are For Kids
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by
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Gross Genitalia
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Toxic File #55
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Centre of Eternity 615.552.5747 40 megs Lots of Files - HQ of Toxic Shock
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[TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS][TS]
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"Ooh, I hope no one's around!" <Rip, shake rumble, pour><GRAB!>
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"Nuh uh! No! Silly rabbit, Trix are for KIDS!"
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Sick of this commercial? I am. The Trix Commercial. It sucks. It's stupid.
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It's totally uninteresting because due to large misfortune, the true story of
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the Trix Rabbit was covered up by Universal Studios in embarrassment. General
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Mills cereal held its corporate heads in the shadows in shame. It went
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something like this.
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"Trix commercial, Take Two"
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The bright, sparkling red box of Trix cereal sat eagerly waiting on the
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cloth-covered table of the set. The children stood poised and ready just
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outside the camera's view. The rabbit was unleashed and it bounded up to the
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table, and snatched up the box greedily. It ripped off the top, dug its
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hands into the bag, and JUMP! The children sprung onto the set, took away the
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box, and chanted the ever-famous line: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!"
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The cheap little bastards took the rabbit's cereal, poured it into a bowl of
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juice from a cow's udders, and ate it. Talk about one pissed rabbit.
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This commercial did not suit the director.
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"Trix Commercial, Take Three"
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A similar situation. This went on and on, over and over, until the rabbit
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tamed himself and a 30-second commercial of perfection was reached. It aired
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for 3 weeks. And the routine began again. This time a different set, a
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different studio, same product in question. Trix cereal.
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And again, as always, the Trix Rabbit did not get his cereal. Another
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commercial of perfection, it aired this time for four weeks. The rabbit had
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reached his peak of anger. But the millions of kids across the country to
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whom this colorful commercial appealed, they knew not the personal feelings
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of the rabbit; they did not know his side of the story, of his agony and
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torture which the producers had put him through. He had tried so desperately
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to contact Animal Rights Activists, but his success was none; no mail was
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delivered from him by the greedy and money-hungry bastards of General Mills.
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The embarrassment of "The Big G" occurred. Yes, it was covered up, the
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story you never knew. The Trix Rabbit -- got his Trix.
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On one particular shooting of the commercial the director and cameraman
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met in a conference room to discuss some new footage with the children. The
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rabbit came prepared; he had stolen an army-issue lockpick set and picked the
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lock on his cage. He snuck to the set and investigated its every inch. Yes!
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No one was around, no one was in sight. The Trix Rabbit stood alone on set
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number five, in a fake kitchen setting with a real box of Trix cereal.
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Greedy hands snatched the box. He leaped up onto the table and took a
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pose of victory! He shouted a rabbit scream! And no one came!
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He ripped the box open with a certain air of violence, and tore the paper
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bagging with great victorious rips. He took out a handful of the crunchy cereal
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and adorned his white body with its rainbow of splendor! Aaaah, that feeling
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of power he had so longed for!
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He pulled yet another handful and shoved it into his filled, drooling
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mouth. He crunched, waiting for that perfect moment when all the fruity taste
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of Trix Cereal would burst in his mouth, a watering flavor of ecstacy! The
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moment came.
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It sucked. The Trix cereal which he so glamourously ate fucking sucked
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shit. It was the most awful and repulsive shit he had ever eaten in his
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life of pain.
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All his life! All his fucking damned life he had waited for the proud
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moment where he would finally get his damned Trix cereal, and it turned
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out to be a hoax. All the commercials, all the publicity. LIES! LIES! Millions
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of children led into a false sense of security with a cereal that delivered
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nothing which it promised. It was not fruity, and delicious, and mouth-watering
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good, it tasted like cardboard, like dried rotten cardboard. It fucking sucked.
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The rabbit felt as if everything he had lived for was lost. Gone.
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The Trix Rabbit stood in utter disappointment on Set Number Five of
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Universal Studios.
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He drew a Derringer.
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He shot himself.
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(c)1990 Toxic Shock. By Gross Genitalia. How depressing.
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