249 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
249 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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_ _ _ _ :::::::::::
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(_\ ) ( /_) ::::::::::
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\ \.::::::::./ / ::::::::: ytinretE fO ertneC ehT
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\::::::::::::/ ::::::::: duaB 42/21 7475.255.516
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::: :: ::: :::::::: seliF astoL sgeM 04
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:::::::::::: ::::::::::::::: ST dna SET fo sretrauqdaeH
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::::/\:::: :::::::::::::::
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:::::::: ::::: !won dekcuf yllaer mI zeeg hO
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::XXXX:: ::::
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/::::::\ ::: egalliV eramthgiN roduT
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_/ / \ \_ ::: duaB 42/3 1706.829.516
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(_/_) (_\_) :::
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::
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Holy Fuck! It's Toxic Shock!
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Gosh Batman, how'd you know?
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Look over there! It's their mascot!
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_ _
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)) (( Daniel Boone was a man...A mighty big man...
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((________))
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\ / But the bear was bigger so he run like a nigger
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Smiling \ \ / / up a tree!
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Satan \\__//
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The _\__/_
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Preppy __/\\//\__ You think you're EVIL...but you're NOT!
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Punk / \__/ \
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/ / \ \ (____) (____)
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/__/ANARCHY!\__\ Mooooooooooo! \ / \ /
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// \\ It's a goat head \/ \/
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// ________ \\ you dipshit!
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..................... (____) (____) But Batman, isn't that
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\ / \ / the same thing those
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__ __ \/ \/ dudes in The Coven used?
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\ \ / /
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\ \ / / Elementary, my dear dumb fuck!
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/ / \ \ They joined the Toxins!
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/ <______________> \
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\ __ __ /
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\ __ \ / __ / Gadzooks! It looks like something from a
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\ \ \ \/ / / / Judas Priest album!!!
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\ \_\ /_/ /
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Die \ _ _ / PEACE LOVES DOPE
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Die \\\____/// Who annihilated...this week?
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Slay \\_XX_//
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Kill \____/
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Drink \ / Why you're a regular party machine!!!
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Virgin \/
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Blood!
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A R E Y O U
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F U C K I N G
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R E A D Y ???
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Behold Ye Peoples Of The Earth, Followers And Nons Alike!
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The Beginning Is Nigh At Hand For The End Has Come And Passed!
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When The Upside-Down Strawberry Shortcake Falls, Burnt, To The Ground
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When Marauding Bands Of Cabbage Patch Kids Destroy The Cursed IBM
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When Rainbow Bright Appears, One Foot On Land, One Foot In The Sea
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And Throws Green Moldy Five Year Old McDonald's Hamburgers On The Shore
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When There Is No Racism Because All The Niggers And Chinks Are Dead
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When All The Men Grow Huge Titties Because It's A Manly Thing To Do
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When The State Of Tennessee Is Nuked Right Off The Motherfucking Map
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When All Realize Coke Is Better Than Pepsi But Jolt Is The REAL Thing
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When Dominoe's Realizes That Their Pizza Really Sucks Shit
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When That Goddamned Rabbit Finally Gets His Stinking Trix
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When The Sun Turns Purple And Sets In The South At 8am Eastern Standard
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When The Finally Turtles Grow Up And Elvis Presley Actually Dies
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When Trump Proves To The World That Money DOES Buy Everything
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Then...Then and ONLY then...Then...ummmmm...errrrr...THEN...well.....
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hmmmmmm......Then, I guess, uhhh....
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Ah hell, I dunno, we'll find out then!
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The Toxins...Meet The Toxins...They're some really spaced out anarchists!
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Toxic Shock P R O U D L Y Presents
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The Longest Pre-Title Bullshit Ever Done By Anybody!!!
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Greets And Wishes For A Nice Warm Death Go Out TOOOOOOOOOO
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The Dirts of TNV
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And that's ABOUT FUCKING IT!!!!!!
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Feel LEFT OUT?!?!?!?
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Wish YOUR name or group could appear in OUR greets?
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TOUGH FUCKING SHIT!
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You think we're going to WASTE our VALUABLE space with STUPID FUCKING
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COMMUNISTIC FASCIST DONKEY DICK SUCKING ASS BITING OZONE DESTROYING MONITOR
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POLLUTION BULLSHIT LIKE A GODDAMN GREET LIST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!
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And NOW... What you've ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL been WAI-TING for!
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New! Improved! Drastically Reduced In Price! It's Now Or Never, A ONCE
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In Eternity Offer! The Hottest Thing To Hit This Planet Since The
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Atomic Bomb! It Is...The One...The Only...
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.
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.:::::. .::::::::.
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...:::::::::.. ::::::::::::
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..:::::::::::::::::.. ::::: ::::
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.::: ::::::: :::. :::::. :
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:: ::::: :: :::::::.
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: ::: : :::::::::.
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::: ::::::::
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::: :::::
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::::: : ::::
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::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
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.:::::::. :::::::::::
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::::::::::: :::::::::
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Yes! Does your tampon hurt like a motherfucker? Does putting it in make
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you want to rip out your ovaries and dangle them from your clit, grow hair
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on your chest and drink Schlitz just to be something besides a Woman? Do
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you hate that squishy feeling you get between your legs when your pad and
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tampon just aren't doing what they should and the blood just starts sloshing
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around inside your twat? Does it really piss you off when those cramps grab
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ahold of your vagina and make you think giving birth to a calf would be a
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pleasant experience? DON'T YOU JUST HATE FEELING LIKE SHIT?!?!?!?!?!
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Well TOUGH SHIT. Think you're so damn grand because you can give milk
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out your tits? Hey, so can a COW. I notice a RESEMBLANCE, bimbo! Proud to
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be a woman? Proud to get bloated, just like a week old carp? GOOD! Look
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at all your wonderful fucking benefits! Damn! Wish I was a woman so I
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could have PMS!!!
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Oh Fuck! Here it comes now! PMS! I've got it! I've got it!!!!
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Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
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It's...It's terrible...It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me!
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Oh God NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
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Bloody Afterbirth And His Multiple Personalities
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P R E S E N T
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PMS : Post Mortem Syndrome
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Toxic Fucking File Number Fucking Fifty-Two
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owT gnikcuF ytfiF eliF cixoT s'taht ,daer gnikcuf t'nac uoy esac nI
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FUCK SHIT DAMN PISS HELL CUNT DICK COCK TWAT
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If I knew what the hell I was fixing to write I'd write a decent
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little comment thingie...But since I don't, I won't! So THERE!!
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NYAH! My girlfriend puts out more than yours does!
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No you idiot, she bleeds more when she's on the rag than yours does!
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TAWT KCOC KCID TNUC LLEH SSIP NMAD TIHS KCUF
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Yeah...PMS...Sneaks up on you real fast, doesn't it? And it's
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predictable...Predictable as a man getting a hard on when confronted by a
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horny nude lady OTHER than his wife...Right on time, just like clockwork...
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Once EVERY lifetime, that shit hits...The ol' Post Mortem Syndrome...
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You know what I mean...It always starts off with that sinking feeling..
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As if several big burly men were lowering you down into a pit...Come to
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think of it, that's EXACTLY what happens!
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Of course, we both know that that wouldn't be so bad, except that they
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stuff you into this ritzy box that some clown has filled with his garbage,
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like you're some kinda landfill or something, and the box is cramped and
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tight...And then they dump dirt on you and shit, so the air kinda gets a
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little stale in there.
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Which wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't for that putrid stench of rotting
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flesh that pervades the air after a few days...And with nowhere to go, that
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smell just keeps right on circulating in that tight little box, getting
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worse and worse until finally you just get used to it...
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And, since ya get used to it, it isn't so bad, is it?
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At least, it isn't until the organs start to rot, too...The flesh, yeah,
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that you could handle...but the organs? They hurt, don't they? Starts out,
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just a low throbbing ache, but OH when it gets going full blast! Ouch! You
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know what I mean... The tissue turning green and getting as moldy as it
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can, shrivelling up as it absorbs its own water for some unknown purpose...
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Then all the cells start dying and they contribute to the Overall Smell Of
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Things... Ya start to feel a little empty inside. . .
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But hey, we've all rotted before, right? Ya get kinda used to that after
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awhile, besides, there's only so much organ to rot, know what I mean?
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And then, the Great Intelligence Of The Earth decides that you just can't
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be comfortable rotting as you are, so it sends along the Welcome Wagon to
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help you rid yourself of your flesh just a LITTLE BIT QUICKER... Yeah, the
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worms...Never quite get used to maggots crawling around through your flesh
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and tissue, gnawing away at your eyeballs, sucking away at your muscles,
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merrily munching away, mangling your manhood...
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Efficient little fucks, ain't they? Before too long, you're all bones.
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Hell, maybe nature has an excellent diet program that we just haven't
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thought of using yet...
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They leave ya alone for awhile...Nails getting kinda long, ain't they?
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Be nice to bite the fuckers, but hell, ya have no muscle anymore, can't
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really move your arm...
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Then they come back. Hmmmm, they act like they forgot something...
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And they find it quickly...Yeah, you shoulda known...They squirm around
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and get into your bones, greedily lapping up all that delicious bone marrow.
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Maggots running through the inside of your ribs...oh what a feeling, huh?
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Whew! Holy shit! What's that smell?
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Oh hell...You forgot about that garbage...You place the smell...
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Yep..There it is...
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That bozo that dumped his trash in your coffin musta had a bitch of a
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wife, made him throw away his pornos...There's one right now, a nice
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centerfold...You'd have a boner now if you still had your prick...But the
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smell...Yeah, you see what it's coming from...Damn bastard jacked off and
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juiced up the pages of the mag...Nothing like rotting cum to soothe the
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decaying homo sapien, eh?
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Hmmm, what's that sound? Light thudding coming from above...Oh shit!
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Must be your wife! Damn, quick, gimme a come, can't let her see me with my
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hair like this!
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No, can't be her..What's that? Oh shit...OH SHIT...NO!!
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It's a fucking dog sniffing around! Damnit it stops on your grave...You
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hear the sounds...Oh fuck...Oh fuck! Damn thing's pissing on your
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headstone! You try to scream, but alas, the vocal chords are one of the
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first things to go, remember?
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Well..Hell, you're dead, what does it matter if a dog pisses above you..
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Above?
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Oh no! Yep! Here it comes! Trickling slowly down through the soil and
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right through what used to be the lid of your coffin..Nice warm smelly dog
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piss, all over your slowly crumbling bones...Damn damn damn! Gone are the
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smells of rotting flesh, only to be replaced by a stench not even a skunk
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could love! Oh geez oh damn oh SHIT..!
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Well...at last...all of that's over...now maybe a cadaver can rest in
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peace around here...
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But wait...What's that?
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Hmmm, that's one you're not used to...Sounds...sort of...like a...
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A SHOVEL!
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Oh JESUS! Somebody's digging down to your coffin!
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Oh shit oh shit oh DAMN! Here it comes!!
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AHHHHH! It hits a femur, disintegrating it!
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"Ohhh WWOOWW!! Lookit lookit! A dead dude! Killer SHIT!"
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Oh fuck oh hell...There's a whole damn GANG of grave diggers up there!
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Damn what is this, some kinda frat initiation thing or something?!?!?
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"Hey neat, let's smash the bones!"
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SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH
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Oh fuck oh FUCK oh fuck oh fuck...PMS...makes ya fall to pieces...
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(c)Late April 1990 - Bloody Afterbirth/Toxic Shock
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