269 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
269 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
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.:::::. .::::::::.
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...:::::::::.. ::::::::::::
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..:::::::::::::::::.. ::::: ::::
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.::: ::::::: :::. :::::. :
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: ::: : :::::::::.
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::::: oxic :::......:::: hock
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.:::::::. :::::::::::
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::::::::::: :::::::::
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presents
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Prophecies of the End Times
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by
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Bloody Afterbirth
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Toxic File #51
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The Centre of Eternity : 615.552.5747 12/24 40 Megs
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HeadQuarters of Toxic Shock and The Esoteric Society
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Tudor Nightmare Village: 615.928.6071 3/24 ?? Megs
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8273645362718273645362718273645362718@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*
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There is an herb known as Saint John's Wort. Some would say it is named
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so because John must have been smoking SOMEthing when he wrote what they
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call Revelations...
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Now they'll have to come up with Saint Bloody's Wort.
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Heh heh heh. . .
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!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*@&#^$%#^@&!*273645362718273645362718273645362718
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The revelation of Lord Strom Dorman, which Fetus gave him to show the
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Followers what might sometime take place if they fucked things up real bad.
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He made it known by sending his bong to the Follower Bloody Afterbirth, who
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testifies to everything he saw - that is, the mumblings of Fetus and the
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testimony of Lord Strom Dorman. Wasted is the one who writes the
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meanderings of this prophecy, and fucked are those who read it and take to
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heart what is written in it, because if the time comes it can't be very
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soon.
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To him who screws us and has laced our Koolaid with acid, and has made us
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to be a thrash band and groupies to party with Fetus - to him be glory and
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power for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever! Wo-Man!
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Look, he is cumming on the clouds,
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and every cunt will want him,
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even those he has pierced;
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and all the Followers on earth will
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party because of him.
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Let's hope so! Wo-Man!
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"I am the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet, " says the
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Aborted Fetus, " who ain't right now, wasn't a long time ago, and might
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never be, All White."
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I, Bloody, your guitarist and head-bonger in the partying and thrash
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group and long lasting highs that are ours in Fetus, was on the island of
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Patmos because of a nice trip I went on with Lord Strom Dorman. On Bored
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Day, I was taking a shit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a Gibson,
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which said "Write in a file what you think you see and send it to a couple
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of places."
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I turned around to see the voice that spoke to me. And when I turned I
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saw seven GE Lightbulbs, and among the lightbulbs was someone "like a son of
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mine", dressed in leather that stopped at his ass and with a silver chain
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from his nose to his right ear. His hair was spiked and green, as green as
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snot, and his eyes were like smoldering roaches. In his right hand he held
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seven joints, and out of his mouth came a shiny roach-clip. His eyes were
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like blood, shot.
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When I saw him, I freaked out like hell. Then he placed a joint in my
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mouth and said: "Chill bud. I am Your Pusher; I was out, and behold I have
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plenty of stash for a few hours!
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"Write, therefore, what you thought you saw, what ain't right now but
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what might take place later. The mystery of the seven joints that you saw
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in my right hand and of the seven GE Lightbulbs is this: The seven joints
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are a buck apiece, and the lightbulbs are really blacklights.
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To the cats near Nashville write:
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These are the words of him who holds the seven joints in his right hand
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and walks among the seven GE Lightbulbs: I know your needs! I know that you
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cannot tolerate bitching women. You have partied and have endured frigid
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bitches for my dope, and have not freaked out.
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"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
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Remember the dope which I pushed you! Repent and buy the dope you did at
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first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your blacklight
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and give it to somebody else!
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He who has an ear, rip it off!"
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"To the dudes in Chi-Town write:
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These are the words of the A and the Z, who had none but came back with
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more. I know your afflictions and your poverty - yet you're in luck! I'm
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having a half price sale on acid! Do not be afraid to take all that you can
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take, I tell you, Coathanger will put some of you in Rehab Centers to test
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you, and you will be sober for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of
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sobriety, and I will give you an ounce next time! He who smokes my dope
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won't feel it even if he is hurt at the second death!"
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After this I looked, and there before me was a pink escalator going right
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up past the moon. And the voice I has first heard speaking to me like a
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Gibson said, "Come up here, and I will show you what might take place after
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this." At once I finished my shit, and there before me was the porcelain
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throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. And the one who sat on there
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had the appearance of straining and constipation. Surrounding the throne
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were thirteen and one half other thrones, and shitting in them were thirteen
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and one half others. They were in various states of diarrhea and had frowns
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on their faces. From the throne came rumbles and peals of farting. Before
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the throne, seven lumps were smoking. These are the seven shits of Dog.
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In the center, around the throne, were four waiting dudes, and they were
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covering their eyes. Day and night they never stop saying:
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Holy, holy, holy
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SHIT!
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Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne the biggest
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doobie I've ever seen. And I saw one of the dudes proclaiming in a strained
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voice, "Who is worthy to smoke this hooter?" But no one in heaven or on
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earth or under the earth could toke it. I wept and wept because I not even
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I could toke off it. Then one of the others said to me, "Don't weep! See,
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that dude over there has some mellower shit!"
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Then I saw my Pusher, looking as if he had just gotten laid, shitting in
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the center of the throne, encircled by the four dudes. He had seven dime
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bags and seven shrooms. He came and took the doobie from the guy he was
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sitting on. And when he had toked it, the dudes and the others fell down
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before the Pusher.
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You are worthy to take the joint
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and toke it
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because you were out
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but with some cash you
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bought some more for the Followers.
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You have made them to be a thrash group
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and groupies to serve Fetus,
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and they will play on the earth!
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I watched as the Pusher took his first toke. Then I heard one of the
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dudes say "Come!" I looked, and there before me were Four Men with Horse
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Dicks!
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When he toked again, I saw with the Men a bunch of chics that had gotten
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fucked by the Followers but died of ecstasy. They called out in a loud
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voice, "How long, Dude, until we get some more dick?" Then each of them was
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given to the Four Men and allowed to screw until the Followers fucked up
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enough to join them.
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I watched as he toked again. There was a shift of the earth on its axis.
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The sun turned violet, the man in the moon smiled at me, and the stars fell
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into my bong. The sky fell like an acorn and every mountain and island went
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for a swim.
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Then everybody that didn't party for Fetus called out to the mountains,
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"Give us a little dope! For the great day of their Party has come, and we
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wanna go!"
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Then I saw the Pusher handing out doobies to all the Followers, who
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numbered 192,238.28473284234.
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After this I saw a great multitude that noone could count, and they were
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all hitting off bongs and crying out in a loud voice:
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"Peace loves dope!
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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle!"
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When he took one last toke, there was silence in heaven for about a
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half and hour while everyone passed the roach around.
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And I saw the seven angels who go around kicking dogs, and to them were
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given Kramer guitars.
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Another angel, who was worried about the neighbors smelling the dope,
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offered much incense on the altar before the throne. The smell of the
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incense went up from the dudes to Fetus, who was pleased with the
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Sandalwood. Then an angel took the censer, filled it with the incense, and
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hurled it to the earth; and the non-Followers knew nothing of the heavy
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partying going down.
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Then the seven angels who had the guitars prepared to sound them.
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The first angel kicked a heavy lead riff, and there came screeches and
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obnoxious noises and it was mixed with the blood from the non-Follower
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eardrums. A third of the earth was flatted with the sound-waves, and a
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third of the trees knocked down, and all the grass was smoked.
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The second angel slammed a keen rhythm, and something like a huge dildo,
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all ablaze, was thrown into the sea. A third of the sea turned into blood,
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a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ship
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passengers skipped PMS.
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The rest of the angels jammed on some wakked out shit and I heard a pig
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exclaim, "Squeeeeeeeal!" as he did backflips on Pluto.
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The sun and sky were darkened from all the heavy pot-smoking, and out of
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the smoke came all kinds of weird shit, and they were told not to harm any
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of the grass, but only those people who didn't have a good stash. They were
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not given the power to kill them, but only to ass fuck them for five months.
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During those days men will seek dope, but will not find it; they will long
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to get high, but dope will elude them."
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Then a bunch of big harry dudes marched upon the cities of the world and
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took all the non-followers stashes and raided the stores, stocking up on
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beer and vodka for the Party To Come, but the rest of manking did not repent
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of their good-two-shoes ways; they didn't stop smoking filtered cigarettes
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without inhaling; they didn't stop drinking near beer; they didn't stop
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waiting until they were too old to get it up to have sex.Nor did they repent
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of their hair cuts, their non-magic arts, or their sexual purity.
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Then I saw a little angel coming down from heaven on a green and yellow
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cloud, toking gently off a small joint. He hopped down from the cloud and
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breakdanced on Manhattan, then stood and said, "There will be no more delay!
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When the band stops playing we'll really start the Party, just like Fetus
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said, so NYAH!"
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Then the voice that I had heard spoke to me again: "Go, take the joint
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that the angel has."
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So I went and asked him for the doobie and he said, "Take it and eat it.
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it'll burn like hell since I lit it up, but it'll fuck you up beyond
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belief."
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And I took it from him and ate it, and it burned.
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But suddenly Halley's comet fell from the sky, stopping inches from my
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face. It laughed and smiled and I hopped on its back and we rode across the
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country.
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I saw a woman, bearing a child. She ran from the Fundy-Beast, and when
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at last she was safe, she jammed a coathanger up herself and aborted the
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baby, it falling upon the dirt in a bloody heap.
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I fell off the comet in amazement and wonder, and the cow that fell from
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the sky said to me: "The mystery of this is this : Fetus has been born unto
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the world again! Gather the Followers! Yea verily I say unto thee, the
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Party is nigh at hand!"
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I ran from the scene and sat in a canyon with my back to the sea, saw a
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blood red dragon on a field of green, then I heard a male voice choir
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singing "Bloody go home!"
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I grabbed a handful of the mushrooms growing at my feet and ate them, and
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leaped off the cliff, flapping my arms in earnet. As I flew through the sky
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I heard from below, don't fly too high Icarus, your wings will burn don't
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you know, but I flew on and on, and climbed towards the sun, I flew to the
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west till my trip was done. At the shelter in the wood I called to my
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brothers who came immediately from making young mothers. We gathered our
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crops and flew to the moon in hopes that the party would be starting soon.
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Then I saw on the earth below through a haze of smoke that Fetus had
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gotten all the peoples to take a toke. Why am I doing? this I started to
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whine when I realized that all I said was in rhyme, but quickly I stopped
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and took a hit off my bong, that fixing what was apparently wrong.
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I heard what I thought to be a loud wailing, but I saw on the planet that
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it was only the moans of pleasure from a released people. From the four
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corners of the earth did the Pusher gather those who took his Deal, and
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their number was like the amount of THC in Fetal Juice's dope.
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And then I saw a great sign in heaven: a big red devil with a long
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pointy tail and a big sharp pitchfork jumped to the Earth and gathered up
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his children, the ones who toked not. Fetus imprisoned them all in the
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Eternal BongFire, where they will be forever, staring out upon the Party
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and its festivites.
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A soft, mellow voice from heaven then spoke to me and bade me write:
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On Alpha Centauri the Followers did meet
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Hitting a bong and licking a sheet
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The sex was free and the babes were pretty
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The Vodka tasted great and the drinks were plenty
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The Followers then realized, amid all the fun,
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Fetus had not lied, the Party had begun!
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And when I had seen all these things, He Who Walks Amid The Lightbulbs
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appeared just once more and said to me :
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"Do not seal up the words of this prophecy, for the time of the Party just
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might be near! Tell all who will hear and those who will not, my ride is
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free, you need not a ticket to fly with me! The Followers will be welcome,
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and the Party will begin, but the Puritans and the Virgins won't be let in!"
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(c)mid-April 1990 Saint Bloody/Toxic Shock
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