textfiles/magazines/THO/tho012.txt

  THO #12, A COLLECTION OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAGLINES.

               COMPILED BY PIP THE ANGRY YOUTH


When cows laugh, does milk come out of THEIR noses?
Twonk's disease is not fatal.
Man with finger in croc's mouth probably missing rest of arm too.
Life is unpredictable- order your dessert first.
Don't trust anything that moves - kill it instead.
Well EXcUse me!  Go ahead, just kick me down the stairs and step on me.
Nietzsche lives in your mind?  What's the rent like?
Women fake orgasms, man fake foreplay. Fair trade.
`he gave me syph, i gave him anthrax.  fair trade.' - a sheep
`see, you wind it up... HERE. heh.' - phillipe lemarchand
`... and, Freddy?  Try not to get BURNED again!' - Franklin
"We are upping our standards... so up yours." Pat Paulsen.
My name's Friday -- I carry a badger.
... My name's Matthew -- I carry a ferret.
Contemptible & hateful; generosity leads to both. - Machiavelli
No living fossils have been found as yet.
Geysers, like us all, have to let off steam sometimes.
A molecule is comprised mostly of things.
Atoms were first made during world war two.
A sextet is.... oh YOU know.
She was likely to get into trouble.  I wanted to help.
Barnum was wrong..it's more like every 30 seconds.
Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Be mischievous and creative, if it fits you.
Be nice to me--I'm out of Valium.
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be wary of strong drink-it can make you shoot at fascists--and miss!
Beauty is in the hand of the beer holder.
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.
Been there...done that...did it some more ...
Been there...done that...told Geraldo all about it ...
Beheading: The ultimate loss of face.
Being Gay isn't taught...  Hate & Prejudice are!
Being normal isn't one of my strengths.
Beltane: It's not a holiday, it's a state of mind.
Betazoid wedding dress...can't beat the price.
Beware the legless man who teaches running.
Bill of Rights:  Void where Prohibited by Law
Blood is thicker than water ... and much tastier
Book (n.) Items upon which Pagans and occultists spend all their money
Born Again Christians are the human analogy to lemmings.
Brains for lunch. Brains for breakfast, brains for brunch. - Misfits
Braise The Lord (325 degrees for an hour, then add veggies)
Bush/Quayle disappear from public view, then Beavis & Butthead appear...
But I be a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer
But an Ivory Tower gives a Wonderful Vantage Point!
But if the BBS didn't need redesign I'd be BORED as a SYSOP!
Butterfly crossing next five miles...
By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.
Sorry, I don't see the logic of your complaint against me.
He's so sadistic he put quicksand in the litter box...
Never let your schooling interfere with your education - ???
Just a roadkill on the information superhighway.
Have you tried bonking her nose with a dead rat?
I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.
"Well, there's only one way to stop living..." -- Death
Pedestrian: (n) Someone who found a place to park.
Law: The art of crippling you and then charging rent on the crutch.
Today's forcast: 80% chance of tomorrow.
If money is the root of all evil, how come churches want so much of it?
Don't take life too seriously.  After all, it's not permanent.
And the Lord Said let there be Light, then had a beer.
3 out of every 5 people think that the other 2 are idiots.
Copy from another: plagiarism. Copy from many: research.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Not a shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
Save the whales! Collect all 4...
To appreciate the flower, understand the root.
This, too may be woven into the fabric of time.
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
You seem a decent sort of fellow. I would hate to die.
I'd rather be friends with a wet newspaper. (Maid Marian's Merrie Men)
Just lie back, dear, and think of Pasta.
But every elephant, I suppose, learns to cope with his nose.
This can get confusing - of course, so can eating cheese. (Copicat)
She is calling Her children back home.
The last thing I saw was this Big Blue eighteen-wheeler!
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
Up Saturn! Up Pluto! Up Uranus!
Dragons make good Pets.  Just get lots of newspaper.
I'd hate to think of a Supreme Being with no sense of humor.
I wouldn't go so far as to call Seattle sane.
Tolerance: For best effects, apply internally.
With a little lubricant, things DO work smoothly!
Only a lawyer calls a 10,000 word document a brief!
Milk of Amnesia.  Loosen up those memories.
McJacksonburger: 30 yr old meat, 10 yr old buns.
Heard about the new conservative dance craze?    The Rush Limbo...
The popular faith in words is a veritable disease of the mind.
Dyslexic Agnostics Society discussion topic: Is Dog Dead?
The lady doth protest too much, methinks. - Shakespeare
No, Joseph, honest! I *NEVER* had sex with anyone else! -Mary
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Good swiping is an art in itself. -Jules Feiffer
"The other day I... no, waitaminit, that wasn't me..." -- S.W.
Are you sure that was me?  Sounds more like Shakespeare or something.
Is it necessary to have a destination, or just a destiny?
Dammit, Chekhov, it's VESSEL!
Five years on board, and he can't say, 'Captain'.
Reason and common sense pale in the shadow of PMS.
"Law is never having to say your sorry..."
The Earth is like a grain of sand, but bigger.
Virus strikes African antelope -- Gnus at 10
Flies cause disease.  Keep yours closed!
Welcome to hell, I'm your case worker.
Does a medical book have an appendix?
Love is blind so, don't get ticklish on me.
If at first you don't menage, trois, trois again.
You were awful hard on the beaver last night, Ward!
And are you sexually active ?  No, I just lay there..
Ok, where do nudist geeks put their pocket protectors?
Practice safe eating. Use condiments.
Cogito Ergo Boom: Smart Bomb!!!
She said I never listen to her...or something like that.
To err is human. - Hehehehehehawhawhaw - Data
Oxymoron: someone who thinks all those pimple meds work!
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recharge my blowtorch...
We don't look for truths, just excuses.
Big Brother is alive and well and living in the White House
"Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping
   tom to install your window blinds."
"Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?"
Truth is stranger than fiction, fiction has to make sense.
(tilts hat back) yair.  they might accuse us of being racist.
"I know what I know, if you know what I mean."- Edie Brickell
Nice landing.  Next time, put the wheels down first.
OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
"I like to reminisce with people I don't know." Steven Wright
"Life's a journey, not a destination." - Aerosmith
"Imagination is more important than knowledge" - Einstein
"No one has jurisdiction over the truth" -Fox Mulder
"Knowledge, sir, should be free to all!" -- Harry Mudd
"I don't give you enough information to think!" -- Jelico
Each one must walk one's own path.
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
L.A.P.D. motto: We treat you like a king.
Kiss me and show no mercy!
WARNING! Flatulence detected in transporter beam!
The Secrecy of my job prevents me from knowing what I do.
Warp 5 ... engage. No, no, Mr. Data, more clutch!
You show me yours and I'll laugh!
My heart goes out to you but, my wallet stays here.
Use Roman Numerals on your Income Tax Return...
Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?
...Note The Huge Breasted Typist In The Background...
I am not saying another word tonight.     P.S. ---> I might.
If Jesus was into S&M would he use Miracle Whip?
Nothing exceeds like excess.
Jesus loves you, but then again, so does Barney.
Your mind is your own...  Your mind is your own... Your mind is your own...