475 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
475 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
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*-* *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-* TTTTTTTTTT AAAAAA NNNN N J *-*
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*-* T A A N N N J *-*
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*-* T AAAAAAAAAA N N N J *-*
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*-* T A A N N N J J *-*
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*-* T A A N NNNN JJJJJ *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-* There Ain't No Justice *-*
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*-* #10 *-*
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*-* *-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. 908/830-8265 *-*
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TextFile by FfejTable?
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Violent PlayGround
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(908)/920-7920
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300 megs
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14.4k v32bis
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Home of FfejWare?
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This textfile is brought to you for no purpose. I would tend to think
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however that you will find this file somewhat humourous and horribly sad.
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This textfile contains laws throughout the 50 states that the
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author found outdated, funny and/or ludicrous. Enjoy.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"Donkeys Can't Sleep in Bathtub and other crazy laws"
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Originally by Susan Dach
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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In the city limits of Mount Dora, Florida, a pet rooster cannot say
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cock-a-doodle-do.
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On Sunday, you are not allowed to auction off a turtle in Kansas City,
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Missouri.
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In Lehigh, Nebraska, it is against the law to sell donut holes.
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Uncle Sam says No! to taking a picture of a dollar bill or of a
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postage stamp.
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In New York, you can teach your pet parrot to speak but not to squawk.
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To sell song books on the streets of Richmond, Virginia, you must buy
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a license for $.93
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Shellfish may not be sold from pushcarts in New York City.
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No women can play Santa Clause in Minnesota.
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If your dog chases a goat or a sheep in Memphis, you can be fined $25.
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In Washington, D.C., you can be put in jail if you are cruel to
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animals.
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In Centerville, Ohio, cars are not allowed to scare horses.
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If a horse keels over in New York City, you should put a lantern next
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to his head.
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No signs can be put on telephone poles in Texarkana, Texas.
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Don't go tadpole hunting in Pennsylvania on Sundays. It's against the
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law.
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In Illinois, if you want to park, you can't bump someone else's car to
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make room for your own.
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A 1930's law on St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands forbids riding on the
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running board of an automobile.
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A policeman can stop people from marching down the street in Tacoma,
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Washington.
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If you want to hold a costume ball in New York City, you have to ask
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the Mayor's permission.
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In Connecticut, kids cannot charm bees away from a bee keeper.
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In Los Altos Hills, California, two or more joggers running together
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need a permit from the police.
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In New York State, you have to have a license to hang your clothesline
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in your front yard.
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If you snore so loudly you wake up your neighbor in Dunn, North
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Carolina, you are in trouble with the law.
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Pet goldfish that make a disturbance are not allowed to ride buses in
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Seattle.
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You may not play pinball in Athens, Georgia.
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In New York, a parrot cannot his child to be a boxer or a wrestler --
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or even a ragpicker.
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Did you know in Spokane, Washington, you can't buy a television on
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Sunday but you can buy a radio?
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The US Government makes it a crime to give false weather reports.
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In Dover, North Carolina, you can be arrested for keeping pigs outside
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your kitchen window.
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In New Jersey, you have to stop your car if a horse passes close by.
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In Maine, dentists cannot advertise they sell false teeth.
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Vendors are not supposed to sell peanuts or candy in California parks.
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In downtown Los Angeles, it is a no-no for anybody to ride on the roof
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of a car.
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Air at gas stations in Hempstead, Long Island, has to be free.
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You cannot eat garlic and go straight to the theater in Gary, Indiana.
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In Oklahoma, you may not take a bite of another person's hamburger.
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In Mississippi, the state librarian has to be a woman.
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If you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, California, you can be
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fined $500.
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Winona Lake, Indiana restaurants are not supposed to serve ice cream
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cones on Sunday.
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If you see a horse on a Detroit street, don't throw a banana peel in
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front of him. It's against the law.
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It is against the law to disturb a bullfrog or cottontail rabbit in
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Hayden, Arizona.
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In New York, jury members may not knit.
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In Richmond, Virginia restaurants, you may not flip a coin to see who
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pays for the coffee.
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No duck shooting is allowed from a motorboat in Kansas. if you want to
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hunt ducks, you'll have to row.
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An Alabama law says that any kids who play dominoes on Sunday must be
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fined.
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In Nebraska, a person may be arrested for disturbing honeybees.
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New Orleans, Louisiana bans outdoor flower carts.
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In New York City during summer, kids may only open fire hydrants that
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have spray caps.
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In Tennessee, the sale of hollow logs has been banned since 1901.
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In Chicago, Illinois, you may not sleep under the stars.
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Did you know St. Louis has a law against selling fireworks in toy
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stores?
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All horse-drawn sleds in Massachusetts must have three bells.
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In Seattle, Washington, chickens are not allowed to lay eggs in town.
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Climbing trees is against the laws in New York City.
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In Cleveland, Ohio, teachers must permit small boys to come to school
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in cowboy boots.
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Iowa bans certain words on license plates. (ie: bum, dud, ape)
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In Michigan, if you carry a flag at a parade, it cannot be red or
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black.
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You may not paint polka dots on the American flag in the state of
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Washington.
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Uncle Sam says you should not use the flag as a costume or athletic
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uniform -- and never as wallpaper.
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The Governor of Kansas has asked that all homes show the American flag
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on Mother's Day.
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United States law says city lights must be electric -- not gaslights!
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No one may appear in court barefoot in Hawaii.
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And if you drive a car barefoot in New Jersey, you can get in trouble
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with the law.
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In New Jersey, you have to be serious when you pledge to the flag. No
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jumping up and down, playing a drum, singing a song, or pounding on
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the table.
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You may not tell fortunes for money in Kansas City.
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In New York, you are not permitted to throw a ball at someone's head
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for fun.
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Montclair, New Jersey outlaws skateboards.
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Disco dance contests lasting more than eight hours are against the law
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in Tennessee.
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It is illegal to feed whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the
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Manville, New Jersey zoo.
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You may not use an elephant to plow a cotton field in North Carolina.
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Pickles in Connecticut must bounce.
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You may not carry an ice cream cone in your pocket in Lexington,
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Kentucky.
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Watch out for selling ice cream in front of your home if you live in
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New York. It's against the law. And that goes for frozen yogurt, too!
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In Wisconsin, if you buy a meal for $.25 or more, you are supposed to
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get free two-thirds of an ounce of famous Wisconsin cheese.
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Arlington, Virginia forbids dogs that growl.
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Some towns in New Jersey forbid garage sales -- unless the house is up
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for sale.
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It is against the law in Tennessee to call another person a coward if
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he refuses to duel.
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In New York City, you may not grow poison ivy or ragweed in your
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window box.
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No bull fighting, says the law in Kentucky.
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Dogs and cats in Bessemer, North Carolina are not allowed to fight
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each other.
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In Kansas, it is against the law to keep dead animals in your house.
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In Nebraska, tavern owners must have a kettle of soup bubbling.
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The law in New Jersey says if you are eating in a restaurant, you may
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not slurp soup.
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You are not permitted to charge for home permanents in Beaumont,
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Texas.
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No bicycle race in New York is supposed to last longer than eight
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hours.
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In Tallahassee, Florida, State inspectors have to smile while
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conducting automobile safety checks.
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Chicago outlaws juggling.
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It is against the law in New Jersey to chop down a cherry tree.
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Ridgewood, New Jersey makes it against the law to build a tree house
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in your backyard.
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In Houston, Texas, boy may not make goo goo eyes at girls -- there's a
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goo goo eyes law!
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Uncle Sam outlaws sound trucks with loud, blaring noises on the
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streets of Washington, D.C.
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Dont let your dog bite the postman. You could be in trouble with the
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FBI.
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In New York, three people may not ride on a bicycle built for one. And
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every bicycle must have a bell. And you must keep your feet on the
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pedals.
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It is against the law in Brooklyn, New York to shoot a rabbit from the
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back of a trolley car.
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You must not make cabbage soup on Sunday in Ocean City, New Jersey,
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unless you cut the cabbage the day before.
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San Antonio, Texas does not allow the building of a cotton gin.
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You cannot keep snowballs in the refrigerator in Scottsbluff,
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Nebraska.
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In Maine, the first day of winter is Chester Greenwood Day, in honor
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of the man who invented earmuffs.
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No one can toot-toot- a train whistle in Richmond, Virginia.
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In Evansville, Indiana, it is against the law to sell hamburgers on
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Sunday.
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If you have a pet tiger in Louisiana, you must keep him in a cage.
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In Willingboro, New Jersey, you may not put a "For Sale" sign in front
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of your house.
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In California, no mean person may force a kid to buy a comic book.
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In Ohio, it is illegal to gallop your jackass.
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In New York, you can be arrested for paying a child under sixteen to
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collect cigar stumps.
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For safety's sake, at wrestling matches in Richmond, Virginia, fans
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may not buy soda in bottles, only in paper cups.
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In Marysville, Ohio, it is against the law to remove the lid of
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another person's garbage can.
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Don't bring a sleigh on to New Jersey highways unless your sleigh
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bells are ringing.
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In Maryland, a woman may not go into her husband's pockets while he is
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sleeping.
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New York State makes it against the law to keep a horse, cow, calf,
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pig, rabbit, sheep, goat, chicken, duck, or pigeon in your apartment.
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Did you know Fire Island, New York bans the munching of chocolate-chip
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cookies on the beach?
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A child must not have a tattoo in New York.
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Maine has very strict fire laws. There is even a law against setting
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fire to a mule.
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In Utah, kids are not permitted to hitch their bicycles to airplanes.
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You may not carry your lunch in a pail on the streets on Riverside,
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California.
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In the state of Washington, chickens are not permitted to live in
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houses.
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Did you know babies in Lynn, Massachusetts are not allowed to drink
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coffee?
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If you see a pigeon fly by carrying mail, dont stop him. It's against
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the law.
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The law in Cleveland says you are allowed to kill you neighbor's
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chickens if all the other people in the neighborhood give permission.
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You must not brush your clothes while traveling on the train in
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Florida.
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The following trades are forbidden in New York City: bone boiling,
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burning or grinding; the skinning or horses, cows or other animals.
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You may not gallop your horse on the boardwalk of Atlantic City.
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In Kentucky, you are not allowed to appear on the street in a bathing
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suit without a policeman standing by.
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On New Jersey highways, you may not hitch your horse to a fruit tree.
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And in New Jersey towns, you may not hitch your horse to a post or a
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fire hydrant.
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In California, you may not enter a restaurant on horseback.
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Suffolk County, Long Island has said NO! to mobile hot-dog stands --
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unless a bathroom is right nearby.
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If you own a restaurant in Birmingham, Alabama, you have to hire
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someone else to sweep the floor.
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If you notice a stray animal in the town of Niagara Falls, tell the
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town clerk. You will receive $.15.
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Minneapolis has a lurking ordinance. No person in any public or
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private place shall lurk.
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Restaurant menus in Asotin County, Washington must be in English.
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In Tennessee, it has been against the law since 1911 to drop banana
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peels on the street.
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In Virginia, you may not carry a banner for your favorite breakfast
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cereal.
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Kansas law says you should not sell cherry pie on the Sabbath.
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You are not allowed to fish for scallops in New York on Sunday.
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Pure milk is the only kind the city of Baltimore permits to be sold.
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On Sundays in Columbus, Ohio, you are not supposed to buy corn flakes.
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In Topeka, Kansas, you may not serve wine in a teacup.
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In Mississippi, you may not vote if you have been in a duel.
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In San Francisco, it is illegal to use a slug in a parking meter.
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No roller skating down the street is allowed in Kansas City, and that
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goes for sled riding too.
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Salt Lake City says NO! to people wearing hats with ostrich feathers
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at public gatherings.
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In Berkeley, California, you may not whistle for you escaped canary
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bird before seven o'clock in the morning.
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St. Louis forbids buildings over 35 feet high.
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Dont block the sidewalk by playing hopscotch in Griffin, Georgia -- or
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you may hop your way into jail.
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If you own more than three dogs in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, you must
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have a dog kennel license.
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In Dunlop, Pennsylvania, if you are found woozy on a horse, the police
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are supposed to give you a dose of castor oil.
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No horse racing is allowed on the New Jersey turnpike. Norfolk,
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Virginia makes it a crime to keep a messy house.
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In Watertown, New York, kids cannot throw snowballs at men wearing top
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hats.
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Richmond limits the number of city pawnshops to twelve.
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In Kansas City, barbers must go to their doctors at least once every
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six months.
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Barber poles may not be taller than eight feet in New York City.
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It is a crime for a barber to cut hair on Sunday in New Jersey.
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If you fall asleep while being shaved by a barber in Erie,
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Pennsylvania, you can be arrested.
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Barbers in Waterloo, Nebraska may not eat onions between 7am and 7pm.
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Buffalo herds are not permitted to roam in downtown Denver.
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In Pennsylvania, you have to be sixteen years old to get your ears
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pierced.
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A law in Massachusetts forbids putting tomatos in clam chowder.
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Girls have not been allowed to box in New York.
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No billboards are allowed at the beach in Southhampton, New York.
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In Pennsylvania, you must "stop, look and listen" before crossing the
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railroad tracks.
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It's a fact. In Brooklyn, New York, donkeys are not allowed to sleep
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in bathtubs.
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At outdoor concerts in Green, New York, you may not walk backwards on
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the sidewalk while munching peanuts.
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Did you know Smokey the Bear belongs to the United States? No one can
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use his picture without government permission. And that goes for
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Woodsy Owl, too, and his slogan "Give a hoot, dont pollute."
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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||
*-* Phoenix Modernz Inc. TANSTAAFL BBS:908/830-TANJ *-*
|
||
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
|
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*-* Modern Textfiles Inc. The Matrix BBS:908/905-6691 *-*
|
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*-* The Lawless Society Inc. CyberChat BBS:908/506-7637 *-*
|
||
*-* -also- Terrapin Biscuit Circuit:908/506-6651 *-*
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