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36 KiB
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655 lines
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Plaintext
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$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$ xxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ FROM NEW YORK STATE, U. S. A.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ - June, 1993 -
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@ xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$ SCAM! MAGAZINE xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$ VOL 1 * NO 1 xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx
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$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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@@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$$ YOUR TRUE ON-LINE SCAM SOURCE!
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$$$$$$$$$$$$ @@@@@@@@@@ $$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$$$ xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
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$$$$$@@@@@@@@@@$$$$$$ SCAM! is xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
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@@@@@@@@@@ published by xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx
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@@@@@@@@@@ THE PRODUCER xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxxx
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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VOL 1 NO 1 SCAM! MAGAZINE June 1993 FREE ONLINE!
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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LEGALITIES AND DISCLAIMER
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"SCAM!" MAGAZINE is published solely for informational and entertainment
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purposes. The publishers and authors in no way wish to encourage or promote
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unlawful and/or criminal activities of any nature or sort, but merely wish to
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furnish the materials contained herein in accordance with the practices and
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policies established by the IIRG and pursuant to the Freedom of Information
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Act. Local, State and Federal laws provide severe civil and criminal
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penalties for unlawful and/or criminal activity which may include fines and/
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or imprisonment. The publisher and authors absolve themselves from all
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actions, direct or indirect, consequential or inconsequential, resulting from
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the readers of this publication. SEE, READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL WARNINGS
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CONTAINED HEREIN. THIS MAGAZINE IS AVAILABLE FOR AND ONLY TO BE READ BY
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PERSONS OVER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS.
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ARTICLES IN THIS ISSUE
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1. "SCAM!", the Latest Magazine
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by The Producer
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2. Turn Stamps into Cash!
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by The Producer
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____________________________________________________________________________
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"SCAM!": THE LATEST MAGAZINE!
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by The Producer
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You've read them all -- on-line magazines purporting to solve the
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world's problems, offering you the "latest" techniques in pulling a fast one,
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etc. Only problem is, the guy who's telling you how to solve the world's
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||
problems is having a problem paying his rent, and his "latest" techniques were
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probably developed and tested while watching "Sonny & Cher" on CBS. Fed up, I
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was, reading these antiquated, useless offerings. The time has come, I cried,
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to at last furnish the outside world with something new, something refreshing.
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Sure, I can't solve the world's problems (and wouldn't want to even
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if I could; I seek wealth, not fame), and sure, I can't come up with some of
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those complex configurations and schematics like others have done. Yet, how
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about offering some very simple, basic suggestions -- for purely informational
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purposes only -- to those friendly BBSers? That's when the idea came:
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"SCAM!", a fresh magazine not purporting to offer mind-blowing philosophies,
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not purporting to change your life from rags to riches, but merely offering
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foolproof and proven tips and tricks which are generally simple to understand,
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simple to implement, easy to use and fun to try -- I mean, fun to read about.
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Anyway, unlike other on-liner mags who give the glory and the
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||
beauty, read a few issues of "SCAM!" and you just might find yourself doing
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better off here than with those glamour guys. Please enjoy "SCAM!" and pass
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it along to others, as the information contained in "SCAM!" is for the
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millions to know.
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Post-Script: What if, I thought, you are downloading this sometime
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in the year 1997 or 1998 and, being that this issue is brand new as of 1993,
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just read my whole speech about magazines being obsolete? Well, that's your
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||
fault, babe -- you should have been smart enough to know where to find this
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magazine back in 1993! If you weren't, what the hell can I do about it??!!
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Anyway, chances are most of what you'll find in "SCAM!" will be just as
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applicable now in 1993 as it will be in the next five or six years, maybe
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more. There are so many fools in the country that it will likely take quite
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some time for them to "get wise" to some of the "SCAMs" in "SCAM!"
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_____________________________________________________________________________
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TURN STAMPS INTO CASH!
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by The Producer
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June, 1993. -- Though the rewards are generally minimal, this little
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scheme can, if really done properly, generate thousands of dollars in extra
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income just in your spare time. Generally, people think of stamps as
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something to lick and paste on envelopes. However, these small square
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beauties can be obtained and converted into cash easier than you thought.
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First we will discuss how to obtain small quantities of stamps and turn them
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into cash. Then, implementing this technique, the discussion shall transcend
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into larger quantities of stamps and higher post-conversion revenues.
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Getting Small Quantities of Stamps
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The best place to find small quantities of stamps is where you work.
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Even if your employer uses a Pitney Bowes machine (that's the little gizmo
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that imprints in pink the precise amount of the stamp directly on the right
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upper corner of the envelope), chances are that he or she STILL has need for
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regular stamps. Why? First, they're useful to mail out "self-addressed
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stamped envelopes" to business clients, because the Pitney Bowes inkstamps
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must have a date pre-written on them and there's no sure way of knowing on
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what day the clients will return that envelope. Second, they're a necessity
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if the Pitney Bowes malfunctions, or if letters are needed to be mailed at a
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time the Pitney Bowes is being brought to the post office for overhaul or
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postage add-on. Third, most employers are older and, since you "can't teach
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an old dog new tricks", rely on having stamps just because that's what they're
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used to relying on. For whatever the reason, these stamps are most likely
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available where you work.
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Take the time to subtly question fellow employees as to the
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whereabouts of the stamps, if you do not already know where they are. When
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the opportunity arises, do the necessary and remove them from their
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whereabouts, casually tucking them inside your shirt sleeve or jeans pocket,
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and bring them home with you. Your employer will never know they're missing
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if you remember one thing:
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*** SCAM RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG!! ***
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This is EVER so important, and this rule will be quoted many more times in
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"SCAM!" One of the most important keys to not being discovered is to not be
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greedy. If you want it all, you'll wind up with nothing. The successful
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takers are those who take 75% and leave 25% behind. Thus, should you find
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$100 worth of stamps in someone's drawer, leave $25.00 and take $75.00. The
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75-25 rule, by the way, is a good one to generally go by.
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Now, you're saying, "what if I only find $10.00 worth of stamps, what
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then? Is all this shit worth it for just $10.00?" No, of course it's not!
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What you must then do is go directly to your employer and tell your employer,
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"Did you know we only have $10.00 worth of stamps left in the whole office?
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We'd better get some more, fast!" Believe me, it won't take long for your
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employer to get more in. You might also suggest volunteering to go to the
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post office on your lunchhour to pick some more stamps up, taking a business
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check with you to do it (we'll discuss more on that later -- be patient!)
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Whether your employer gets more stamps himself, sends someone else to the post
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office to get them or sends you (the last being the most ideal situation),
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either way you'll soon have most likely at least $100 worth of stamps for the
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taking.
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*** SCAM! SUGGESTION: ***
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Find friends who have access to stamps where they
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work, and tell them you can get them 50 cents for every
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dollar's worth of stamps they get you. Most persons
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will jump at that offer, and you can obtain slightly
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larger quantities that way. NOTE: First try doing
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this whole thing on your own, alone, until you get the
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hang of it and feel comfortable.
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You've Got the Stamps, Now What?
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Now, you're pretty much home free with easy cash in your pocket,
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that's what!! Here's the deal: You sell them back to the post office.
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The U. S. Post Office currently has a regulation that prohibits
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acceptance of loose stamps, for health reasons. The theory is that the
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original purchaser of the stamps might have placed their tongue on them, or
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placed the stamps in some unsanitary area. That being the case, the stamps
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being returned would then be headed for re-sale and would pose a "health risk"
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to potential buyers. Somewhat farfetched, I know, but that IS the law. The
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loophole is this: the Post Office CAN, however, accept for refund stamps that
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are in a SEALED CONTAINER. Have you ever gone to the post office to buy 29-
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cent stamps in a roll of 100? You will note that these stamp rolls are sealed
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in plastic. Were you to purchase a roll of 100 stamps for $29.00 and go back
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to the post office saying you really didn't need it and could you get the
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money back, since the stamps were in a sealed container they WILL give you
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back $29.00 in cash for the roll.
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This loophole is very important, and is the crux of how to turn
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stamps back into cash. The loophole, however, is a generally objective one;
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that is, the post office is compelled by law to conform with these Federal
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regulations, but doesn't always. The post office is afforded a great deal of
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lattitude even though the regulations very specifically state what to do and
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what not to do. Here is a brief summary of what is meant by this:
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1. The post office will GENERALLY take back stamps in sealed,
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plastic containers for refund.
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2. The post office will GENERALLY refund you the full face value of
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the returned, sealed stamps.
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3. The post office is NOT OBLIGATED BY LAW to take back stamps in
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sealed, plastic containers for refund.
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4. The post office is NOT OBLIGATED BY LAW to refund you for ANY
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stamps at ANY time.
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5. The post office will almost NEVER refund you cash for ANY stamps
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that are not in sealed containers.
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Changing Loose Stamps into Sealed Rolls
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The only slightly irritating part in this -- and it's not hard, it
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only requires you making about 15-20 telephone calls or so: Find a post
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office that will convert the loose stamps you have into sealed rolls of 29-
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cent stamps. Remember, you can ONLY get refunds on sealed stamps and, to the
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author's knowledge, the only stamps that are sealed are 29-cent stamps. Thus,
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regardless what denomination stamps you have, be they 23-cent stamps, 2-cent
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stamps or $1-stamps, you must try to convert them all into 29-cent stamps,
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preferably 29-cent sealed rolls. The sealed rolls come in quantities of 100
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and 500, costing $29.00 and $145.00 respectively at the post office window.
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By trial and error -- and believe me, this is NOT difficult --you
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must call post offices and say the following:
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"Excuse me, but I have about ($50.00 worth of 23-cent stamps)
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and they're really useless to me. I need 29-cent stamps. Could I
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possibly come down sometime tomorrow afternoon and could you exchange
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them for me?"
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Mention nothing about rolls, sealed or unsealed. Generally, you will hear
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something like the following:
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"I'm sorry, but by Federal law we are prohibited from taking
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back any loose stamps. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do."
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To this, you merely say, "Thank you for your help," hang up, and call the next
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post office. I can ASSURE you that you will eventually find some post office
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that will do this for you; it is NOT difficult to do, but don't get
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discouraged by unsuccessful attempts and TOTALLY disregard statements from any
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post office worker that this cannot be done; remember, these are post office
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workers you're talking to, not brain surgeons! Also remember SCAM! rule #2:
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*** SCAM! RULE #2: 99% of people in ANY line of business
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have NO idea what the fuck they're doing! ***
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*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
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Small post offices in rural areas will generally
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be more willing to accomodate you; large post
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offices in big cities will be more apt to enforce
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the no-exchange policy and will be useless to you.
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One VERY important point is: after you've located a post office
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willing to do the exchange, be CERTAIN to ask for the first name of the person
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you spoke with (don't ask their last name, because this is too formal and
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looks too conspicuous; remember, you want to be on a friendly level with this
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person, who's doing you a nice favor). Also, make CERTAIN that this person
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will be working at the time you actually go down for the conversion. If you
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do not do this, you may be very disappointed to find that another clerk in the
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same post office will deny your request, which can be quite irritating if
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you've driven ten or twenty extra miles to that out-of-town post office.
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Merely inquire of this person if he or she will be in on the day you expect to
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drop by; if not, merely ask when he or she will be working next. This is not
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an unusual question to ask, and you won't be looked at twice for asking it, so
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don't worry; just ask.
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20-Quantity Booklets for $5.80
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Now, suppose you have $105.00 worth of stamps. $105.00 doesn't
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mathematically divide evenly into $29.00, so then what? Simple: Take the
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$105.00 worth of stamps into the found post office with you. Ask your contact
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(the post office employee who promised he or she would do the exchange) to
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give you three 100 rolls of 29-cent stamps (that's 300 29-cent stamps, but in
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sealed rolls, mind you), which of course is worth $87.00 ($29 X 3). However,
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you brought them $105 worth of stamps and now have $18 left. What do you do
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with the remaining $18 worth of stamps? Well, the post office also puts out
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booklets/packets of twenty 29-cent stamps, running 20 X $0.29 or $5.80 each.
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You would request three of these booklets, or $17.40 worth ($5.80 X 3 =
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$17.40). So, with your $105.00 in loose stamps you now have three 100-
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quantity, sealed rolls of 29-cent stamps and three 20-quantity booklets of 29-
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cent stamps, and 60 cents left over ($105.00 - $87.00 - $17.40 = $0.60). Take
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the 60 cents worth of stamps and just use it to mail something out; there's
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nothing you can do with it, unless you want to accumulate these small
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remainders for the next time you try to pull this off. Anyway, the 60 cents
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isn't important because, remember:
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*** SCAM RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG! ***
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What To Do With Loose 29-Cent Stamps
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What if the stamps you have are loose, 29-cent stamps? Then, what?
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What logical reason could you give the post office for exchanging these loose
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stamps into sealed 29-cent stamps? Simple: The sealed stamps come in rolls
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... that's the whole key! There are small plastic holders you can buy that
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these stamp rolls fit into, which dispense the stamps one by one. Tell the
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post office you have these extra loose stamps which are a pain-in-the-ass to
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use because you have a stamp dispenser at work and you can't load them into
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it; tell them that you need the sealed rolls instead.
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Converting the Rolls into Cash
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You're only one short step away from cash-in-your-pocket now. You
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have come into the post office with useless, loose stamps, most likely in
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varying denominations, and have now left the post office with fresh, sealed,
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29-cent rolls and possibly some 29-cent booklets too. Simply now go home and
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call up some more post offices, telling them the following if, for example,
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you have three sealed rolls ready to be "cashed in":
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"Excuse me, but a few days ago I purchased six rolls of 29-cent
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stamps, but I think I bought too many and I was wondering if I could
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bring back two or three rolls."
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What you generally will hear is this:
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"I'm sorry, but the post office cannot give you money back for
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stamps you bought."
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Try just a few more times, and you'll find a post office GLAD to accomodate
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you. Some things to note: Rest easy, for it is more time-consuming to find a
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post office willing to exchange loose stamps for sealed stamps than it is to
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find a post office willing to refund you; again, this part is MUCH easier, and
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it will probably take you only four or five phone calls to find an
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accomodating post office. Secondly, if a post office tells you they'll only
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refund you 80 cents on the dollar or something like that, tell them to SCREW
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OFF and take your precious business elsewhere!! This scheme is belittling and
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insulting, and there is NO NEED for you to settle on anything less than the
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FULL face value of your sealed rolls.
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Remember, again, to get only the first name of the person you spoke
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to and make sure he or she is working at the time you go in to give the sealed
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stamp rolls and get the cash.
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*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
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You will have a much better chance of finding a
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post office to give you a refund if, when calling, you
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tell the post office that you live in the city the
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post office serves; that you purchased the stamps for
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business purposes (if asked, say you do business out
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of your home); and that you actually purchased the
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stamps from that very post office. If asked by whom
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or what the clerk looked like, merely state that you
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personally didn't purchase them but rather had one of
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your employees go down to buy them.
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Don't be squeamish about producing your drivers license for the
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refund; 95% of the time it's not required and, on the 5% of the time it is
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required, the license is generally just glanced at by the flea-brained postal
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clerk and nothing is jotted down. Even if your license number were to be
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taken down, it STILL is garbage because remember, you're simply providing real
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stamps to the post office for real money. You're breaking no laws, and
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there's nothing to be concerned or scared about.
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*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
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When going down to the post office for exchange
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or refund (step 1 or step 2 as set forth above), use
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your brain: If you're in a big-city post office
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where most office workers would be dressed with a
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shirt and tie, wear a shirt and tie when you go down.
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If you're in a rural area, dress rurally. That is,
|
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make sure to blend in and give the necessary
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appearance. Though this not essential, it will
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certainly make your goings-on easier.
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*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
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If you go down to the post office and they give
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you a hard time about anything, BE INSULTED!! After
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||
all, you are a post office customer who was promised
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||
something over the phone and is now being denied it.
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||
Of course, don't go haywire and get crazy; just act
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offended in a slightly above-average way and this
|
||
will sometimes assist you in getting what you want.
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Remember, even if you must leave with nothing
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accomplished, there exists an alternate post office
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that WILL accomodate you.
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What to Do With the $5.80 Booklets
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You've now converted the sealed rolls back into cash, and have no
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doubt pocketed maybe $100 or $200, more even if you work for a large company
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or get friends to get you stamps. But what about those $5.80 packets?
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Generally, these will not be accepted for cash refund by the post
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office because they are not sealed and to do so would be in violation of the
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health code provision (see above). However, these packets are still of value.
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For example, locate a pharmacy or convenience store near you that sells
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packets of stamps as a courtesy to customers. Develop a rapport with the
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owner or cashier at the store, and ask if it would be alright to give him or
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||
her a few packets of stamps in return for something in the store, telling this
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person that you had gone to the post office and bought more stamps than you
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really needed.
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For example, if you wanted to purchase a carton of cigarettes for
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$20.00, you might instead offer three packets of stamps ($17.40) and $2.60 in
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cash for the cigs. You would be surprised, but many storeowners are willing
|
||
to accomodate because their policy of selling stamps was initialized solely to
|
||
make their customers feel more at home. By doing a "barter trade" with you,
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||
which this essentially is, they're making you feel at home and thus
|
||
accomplishing their very goal; in a different sort of way, mind you, but
|
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they're still accomplishing it. To them, that's all that matters.
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Summary of Key Points So Far
|
||
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||
I. Get loose stamps from work and have friends you know do the same,
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||
offering them 50 cents on the dollar for their acquisitions.
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II. Find a post office to do the conversion from loose stamps to
|
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sealed ones, as described above. Get (1) the maximum number of
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$29.00 sealed rolls you can, and then (2) get the maximum number
|
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of $5.80 packets you can, and then (3) use any remainder (35
|
||
cents, 41 cents, 60 cents, etc.) as regular stamps for yourself.
|
||
|
||
III. Find another post office to convert sealed rolls into cash, and
|
||
do not accept anything less than full face value of the rolls.
|
||
|
||
IV. Find a store to barter the packets away for convenience items
|
||
such as food, cigarettes, etc.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
|
||
|
||
If you are dealing with a quantity of $300 or more worth of
|
||
stamps for conversion, find out if the post office has sealed 500-
|
||
quantity rolls instead of the traditional 100-quantity. When you
|
||
call up the post office and say you bought "one roll too many", the
|
||
clerk will think it's just a 100-quantity roll by default, not
|
||
anticipating the larger, 500-quantity roll. Thus, you might be able
|
||
to obtain a larger amount of cash more easily.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
|
||
|
||
If you have 20 sealed rolls to convert into cash, don't barge
|
||
into one post office and claim you bought 20 rolls too many! Rather,
|
||
go to six or seven post offices and tell each of them you bought
|
||
three or four rolls too many. Be real, NO ONE in their right mind
|
||
would actually believe you overbought TWENTY rolls of stamps (that's
|
||
2,000 stamps!)
|
||
|
||
|
||
Larger Quantities of Stamps: Deriving Potentially Unlimited Profits
|
||
|
||
So far, I've elaborated the basics when dealing with stamps from
|
||
work, stamps from friends, etc. All well and good, but we're only talking
|
||
about $100, $200, maybe $500 tops in all likelihood, right? (although it must
|
||
be said that once a small envelope containing a mere $638 in stamps was
|
||
found!) Anyway, it's still little-league stuff. You do want the thousands of
|
||
dollars, don't you? You do want to play in the majors, don't you? Well, some
|
||
good news and some bad news, my fellos SCAM!mers: The good news is, you can
|
||
do it! The bad news is, it's riskier -- VERY riskier. Whether you want to
|
||
attempt it or not is up to you. Personally, I strongly advise against it
|
||
unless there is some life-threatening emergency such as mother in the
|
||
hospital, imminent eviction, car radio not working right, etc. For
|
||
information purposes, there are two techniques, as follows:
|
||
|
||
|
||
Method I: Company Checks for Stamps
|
||
|
||
Please remember earlier that I mentioned the best scenario is for you
|
||
to get your employer to give you a company check and have you go down to the
|
||
post office and purchase stamps yourself. This is true because you will get
|
||
the experience of going down and buying stamps for a company, namely, the
|
||
company you work for. This experience will make you less apprehensive when
|
||
you do it for a NON-EXISTANT company!!
|
||
|
||
Essentially, the post office treats business checks like gold. If
|
||
you were to go to a post office and give them your personal check and ask for
|
||
$5 worth of stamps, you can best believe you will be asked to produce
|
||
identification up to your ass. But, give the post office a business check and
|
||
ask for $150 worth of stamps, and they won't bat an eyelid.
|
||
|
||
Knowing this, you must create checks that have a fictitious company
|
||
name and address. Choose an address that is in a small city that has many
|
||
neighboring cities, not necessarily small ones. You will essentially make the
|
||
rounds from post office to post office within a 10- or 20-mile radius of the
|
||
address you've printed on the check, purchasing sealed rolls at each post
|
||
office.
|
||
|
||
In elementary-school-like handwriting, make each business check out
|
||
in advance, payable to the postmaster. For example: if you were producing a
|
||
business check at a post office in Cleveland, Ohio (which for the life of me I
|
||
don't know why anyone would go to Cleveland, even to do this!), you would use
|
||
your poorest handwriting and, in pen, make the check payable to "POSTMASTER
|
||
-CLEVELAND POST OFFICE" --exactly like that. Then, in a completely different,
|
||
barely legible handwriting and preferably with a different-colored, medium-
|
||
point "Flare" or something like that, sign a fictitious name on the signature
|
||
line. Why the two handwriting styles? Simple: Most corporate officers have
|
||
their secretaries fill out the checks; then, the officers sign them. The
|
||
secretaries' handwriting is generally poor; the corporate officers' signatures
|
||
are usually barely legible and often are written on medium-point Flare's, or
|
||
the equivalent.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
|
||
|
||
If you're ambidextrous, use one hand to make out the check and
|
||
use the other hand to sign it. If you're not ambidextrous,
|
||
you should make it a practice of learning how to be. It IS
|
||
possible to become ambidextrous in ONE MONTH.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Make each check out for not more than $200, as eyebrows may be
|
||
raised. In fact, since you now know that sealed rolls will make your life
|
||
easier, I would suggest making each check out for exactly $145, or 5 sealed
|
||
29-cent rolls of 100. Five is an even, inconspicuous number. You could of
|
||
course try for six rolls, which would be $174 and still under $200, but
|
||
remember:
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM! RULE #1: DON'T BE A PIG!! ***
|
||
|
||
By producing, say, 20 checks from the same fictitious business at 20
|
||
different post offices (and, with the proper road maps you can EASILY cover 20
|
||
post offices in one day), you would receive $145 in stamps from each post
|
||
office, or $2,900 in stamps!! Not bad, huh? Now, applying the techniques set
|
||
forth in the small-scale operation above, find different post offices to do
|
||
the conversion from sealed rolls to cash. This simple operation can net you
|
||
almost THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS in TWO working days. NOTE: First read and
|
||
understand ALL warnings below pertaining to BOTH large-scale methods.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM! SUGGESTION ***
|
||
|
||
In the large-scale operation, when choosing post offices to
|
||
convert the sealed rolls into cash, choose post offices in
|
||
a different State.
|
||
|
||
WARNING: DO NOT produce phony business checks unless you are
|
||
ABSOLUTELY sure how to do so!
|
||
|
||
[What? You don't know how to make phony business checks? I'm
|
||
SHOCKED! It's SO easy! Sorry, but we have to keep you on your toes guessing
|
||
somehow ... if you don't know how to do this, the technique will be described
|
||
in a forthcoming edition of SCAM! Again, sorry about this, but if all the
|
||
cards were laid out on the table now, there'd be no reason for future issues
|
||
of this magazine!!!]
|
||
|
||
|
||
Method II: Ordering Stamps by Mail
|
||
|
||
The post office has a great new gimmick whereby you can order stamps
|
||
right in the mail, without ever having to go to the post office to pick them
|
||
up. Essentially tailor-made for this scam, it works like this:
|
||
|
||
You can obtain a form at ANY post office to do this. Merely ask your
|
||
postal clerk for an ordering-stamps-by-mail form or locate the form at the
|
||
post office desk and take one or two (or fifty) home with you. They're free.
|
||
On the form you will find various denominations of stamps you can order (10-
|
||
cent, 23-cent, 29-cent, $1 stamps, etc.), and you can fill out exactly how
|
||
many you want of each. You enclose your personal OR business check payable to
|
||
the Postmaster of that branch (as described above) and receive the stamps very
|
||
shortly thereafter. Here, no ID is needed regardless of whether you furnish
|
||
an individual OR a business check, however duplicated real business checks are
|
||
preferred (how to make duplicated real business checks will also be discussed
|
||
in forthcoming issues, if you don't know how to do this).
|
||
|
||
In this method, issue 50 duplicated real business checks to 50 post
|
||
offices, for example (I say 50 for simplicity purposes and because there's no
|
||
legwork; unlike Method I, you don't have to do any travelling; the post office
|
||
just mails them in to you). On the form, request five, 29-cent rolls of 100
|
||
stamps each, as these sealed rolls are most convenient for refund purposes.
|
||
|
||
Do NOT request more than $200 worth of stamps on each form for, if
|
||
you do, the stamps will be delivered to you certified mail return receipt
|
||
requested at the address you provide. You do not want this. If something is
|
||
sent to you certified mail RRR, you must present identification to receive it;
|
||
you must sign for it; and you must be physically present to collect the
|
||
stamps. So, if you again order $145 from each post office, it will be under
|
||
the $200 threshold and the stamps will be mailed to you via regular mail,
|
||
bypassing the certified entanglements. I won't quote SCAM! Rule #1 again, I
|
||
think you have the gist by now; you would still net over SEVEN THOUSAND
|
||
DOLLARS with 50 mailings, certainly a far cry from the $100 worth of stamps
|
||
you took from work.
|
||
|
||
Where to have the stamps mailed to, you ask? Clearly, do not give
|
||
your home address! Also do not give the address of any friends or employers
|
||
or anyone you've ever known in your lifetime or any past lifetime; rather, use
|
||
a known abandoned house or a private mailbox facility. Readers of "SCAM!"
|
||
will find, in forthcoming issues, a detailed discussion on the theory of
|
||
private mailbox facilities and how they can be used to generate goods,
|
||
services and liquid assets from a vast array of sources.
|
||
|
||
WARNING: Do NOT attempt to use one of these mailbox facilities under
|
||
a fictitious individual or company name if you do not now know precisely how
|
||
to do so. This topic will be covered at length in future "SCAM!" issues, so
|
||
please be patient.
|
||
|
||
WARNING: Do NOT attempt to furnish duplicate real business checks if
|
||
you do not know precisely how to do so. This topic will be covered at length
|
||
in future "SCAM!" issues, so please be patient.
|
||
|
||
WARNING: When doing large-scale conversions, it is most wise to
|
||
travel by car to distant sections of the U. S. to obtain the refunds. Do NOT
|
||
attempt to obtain refunds in the city or State that you chose to obtain the
|
||
stamps! Do NOT attempt to obtain refunds after more than TWO WEEKS from the
|
||
time you obtain the stamps, simply because the business checks you issued will
|
||
eventually clear and be deemed fraudulent by the business.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM SUGGESTION ***
|
||
|
||
If travelling throughout the U. S. by car with large quantities of
|
||
stamps in your vehicle, or for that matter ANYTHING in your vehicle
|
||
which really shouldn't be there, it is INSANE to drive any faster
|
||
than FIVE MPH over the posted speed limit and it is INSANE to
|
||
purposefully violate any local traffic laws, codes or ordinances no
|
||
matter HOW sure you are that you can get away with it.
|
||
|
||
*** SCAM SUGGESTION **
|
||
|
||
NEVER bring large quantities of stamps aboard a commercial aircraft,
|
||
into an airline terminal, aboard a bus or in a bus station. NEVER
|
||
bring large quantities of stamps through customs. Re-sale of U. S.
|
||
stamps in Canada is possible, but should only be attempted by
|
||
placing all of the stamps into one sturdy envelope and MAILING them
|
||
into Canada, preferably via Federal Express Overnight Delivery. The
|
||
cost of such a mailing is only about $25, which is well worth it.
|
||
|
||
WARNING: Do NOT mail U. S. stamps abroad to a location you have not
|
||
thoroughly investigated. Know what you intend to do with the stamps when they
|
||
arrive, plan ahead and avoid last-minute decisionmaking at ALL costs. If
|
||
ANYTHING unforeseen occurs, abandon the project post haste.
|
||
|
||
|
||
Epilogue
|
||
|
||
Well, hopefully now you have discovered the potentially unlimited
|
||
rewards of "stamp collecting"!!????!! Happy exchanges, happy conversions,
|
||
etc., but remember: don't do the crime if you can't do the time!
|
||
|
||
Happy Scams!
|
||
|
||
*
|
||
|
||
|
||
WARNING: THE ABOVE INFORMATION IS THEORIZED ON PRINCIPLES OF
|
||
CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, ROBBERY, PURPOSEFUL ISSUANCE OF FRAUDULENT CHECKS AND/OR
|
||
THE UNLAWFUL OBTAINMENT OF U. S. POSTAGE STAMPS. TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE IN SUCH
|
||
BEHAVIOR WOULD BE IN VIOLATION OF THE CRIMINAL PROCEDURE LAW(S) AND/OR PENAL
|
||
CODE(S) OF YOUR STATE OF RESIDENCE IN TERMS OF CRIMINAL MISCHIEF, ROBBERY AND
|
||
THE ISSUANCE OF "BAD" CHECKS AND, AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL, WOULD VIOLATE A
|
||
VARIETY OF RULES AND REGULATIONS CONTAINED IN AND MADE A PART OF THE UNITED
|
||
STATES CODE, WHICH CODE IS AVAILABLE FOR INSPECTION AND WHICH RULES AND
|
||
REGULATIONS CAN BE VIEWED MORE FULLY SET FORTH AT YOUR LOCAL LAW LIBRARY.
|
||
ISSUANCE OF FRAUDULENT CHECKS IS A FELONY PUNISHABLE BY A MAXIMUM OF 15 YEARS
|
||
IMPRISONMENT IF CONVICTED, AND FEDERAL LAWS GENERALLY PROVIDE STIFFER
|
||
PENALTIES. THIS INFORMATION IS BEING FURNISHED PURELY FOR INFORMATIONAL AND
|
||
ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. ACTING UPON IT SHOULD NEVER BE ATTEMPTED AT ANY
|
||
TIME OR FOR ANY REASON. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT PROVIDES NUMEROUS PROGRAMS AND
|
||
RESOURCES TO ASSIST YOU IF YOU ARE IN FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, AS DOES YOUR STATE
|
||
OF RESIDENCE. THE AUTHOR OF THIS PUBLICATION IN NO WAY CONDONES ANY TYPE OF
|
||
ILLEGAL ACTIVITY OR BEHAVIOR AND HAS NEVER ENGAGED IN ANY TYPE OF ILLEGAL
|
||
ACTIVITY OR BEHAVIOR AT ANY TIME OR FOR ANY REASON OR AS MAY BE SUGGESTED,
|
||
INFERRED OR OTHERWISE IMPLIED FROM THE CONTENTS OF THIS PUBLICATION.
|
||
|