792 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
792 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
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R a N d O m A c C e S s H u M o R RAH! RAH!
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Volume 0 Number 4 January 1993
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A rag-tag collection of fugitive humor, some of which
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is vaguely related to the BBS/Online System world.
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Editor: Dave Bealer
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Member of the Disktop Publishing Association
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Copyright 1993 Dave Bealer, All Rights Reserved
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Random Access Humor is an irregular production of:
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VaporWare Communications
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32768 Infinite Loop
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Sillycon Valley, CA. 80486-DX2
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USA, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way
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VaporWare Communications is an operating division of VaporWare
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Corporation, a public corporation. VaporWare Corporate Officers:
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Luther Lecks
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President, Chief Egomaniac Officer
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Dorian Debacle, M.B.A. Gabriel Escargot
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V.P., Operations V.P., Customer Service
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Pav Bhaji, M.Tax.(Avoidance) Carlos Goebbels
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V.P., Finance V.P., Political Correctness
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Kung Pao Har Hoo, M.D., Ph.D., D.Sc. F.A.C.S, C.P.A., S.P.C.A.,
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Y.M.C.A., L.E.D., Q.E.D., op. cit., et al.
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V.P., Research & Development
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WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
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The "look and feel" of Random Access Humor has been specifically
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earmarked, spindled and polygraphed. Anyone who attempts to copy
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this look and feel without express written consent of the publisher
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will be fed to rabid radioactive hamsters by our Security Director,
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Vinnie "The Knife" Calamari.
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TABLE OF INCONTINENCE:
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Editorial - Does Electronic Publishing Have a Future?..............01
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1992 RAH BBS Industry Awards.......................................02
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Take Us to the Promised LAN........................................04
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The "Give me a rock" Problem.......................................07
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New Association Announced to Promote Electronic Publishing.........09
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Goodbye Newsletter, Hello Magazine.................................10
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Taglines Seen Around the Nets......................................10
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Masthead - Submission Information.................................A-1
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RAH Distribution System...........................................A-2
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Random Access Humor Page 1 January 1993
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Editorial - Does Electronic Publishing Have a Future?
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by Dave Bealer
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As mentioned in the debut issue, RAH came into being because I was
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too lazy to find an outlet for my humor articles after the idea of
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regularly publishing humor was rejected by the editors of Fidonews.
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So for the last five months I have been tinkering away in my loft
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computer center putting out this monthly bit of insanity.
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Most of that time was spent working in a vacuum, completely unaware
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of the number of others who were engaged in similarly silly behavior
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all around the country. My eyes were finally opened in December when
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I chanced to download an electronic magazine called Ruby's Pearls
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from some BBS. In addition to being a good publication in its own
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right, the issue I downloaded contained a bonus, a press release from
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an organization called the Disktop Publishing Association. That
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press release is included in this issue, in its entirety.
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Of course I have long been aware of the efforts by many publishers to
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release "electronic" versions of their newspapers, magazines and
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other print publications. According to information recently received
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from one of those publishers, these efforts have not been terribly
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successful. This fact causes that respected publisher, editor and
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distributor to have a "pessimistic view of electronic publishing."
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Personally, I think it is a matter of having the appropriate material
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to offer at the right time. My source sited poor performance over
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the last four years as a reason for his pessimism. Although the
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online industry has blossomed mightily over the past four years, only
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now is it approaching the kind of critical mass necessary to make
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electronic publishing truly successful.
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Furthermore, I question whether the online community will ever be
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ready to purchase online versions of existing print publications.
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Members of the online community have different information needs.
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Needs which are poorly served by the existing print media (with
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very few exceptions), when they are served by it at all.
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The simple truth is that there is already *too much* information
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available today in the online world. The signal-to-noise ratio in
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many online conferences is horrendous. Twit filters have been one
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rather humorous response to this problem, but something more
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efficient is needed.
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The future I see for electronic publishing bears little resemblance
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to the print-based past, as indeed it should. Someone will come up
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with a way to filter the noise (useless and repetitive information)
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out of all the material entering the online matrix, leaving only the
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signal (useful information) for users to receive. A delicate balance
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between efficiency and censorship will need to be maintained.
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Whoever solves this puzzle, someone will have to make fun of him or
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her. I can think of no better candidate for that task than myself.
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In the meanwhile, look for regular coverage of the latest advances in
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electronic publishing here in the pages of RAH. I'll try to keep the
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number of non-humorous articles down to one per month. {RAH}
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Random Access Humor Page 2 January 1993
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1992 RAH BBS Industry Awards
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by Dave Bealer
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Every computer magazine has to have an annual awards article in its
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January issue. It's the law. Since the publishers of RAH are not
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aware of what the penalties might be for breaking this law, we are
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not taking any chances. So here they are folks, the first annual
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Random Access Humor BBS Industry Awards. Literally minutes of
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painstaking research have gone into making these the fairest, most
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objective awards available today.
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>> Vaporware of The Year <<
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PKZIP V2.0 Phil Katz - PKWARE, Inc.
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The ads have been around most of the year, but the software
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has yet to materialize. Beta testers are now struggling with
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version 1.999999998I. The "I" stands for "I think I can, I
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think I can."
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>> Friendliest Documentation <<
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Chuck Forsberg - Omen Technology Corp.
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Chuck's sunny personality shows itself year after year in the warm
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and friendly documentation provided with such classics as DSZ.
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>> Best Shareware Communications Software Vendor <<
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No award.
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They were all bought out by Mustang Software, Inc.
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>> Most Creative Use of "Scare" Advertising << (tie)
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Hayes Microcomputer Products, Inc.
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The bovine by-products were really flying when this outfit launched
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its scare campaign against the TIES escape sequence. They even
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provided a helpful "test" file, guaranteed to to trigger a TIES
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reset.
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U.S. Robotics, Inc.
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Having accidentally shipped some Sportster 14.4KB FAX/Modems that
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could actually be operated in HST Dual Standard Mode, USR proceeded
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to make new friends throughout the online world by threatening legal
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action against anyone who actually *used* these extra capabilities.
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They also tried to convince users that a "Trojan Horse" was present
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in the ROM chips of these bonus modems. If a TH exists, doesn't that
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mean USR put it there? If so, why are they advertising this fact?
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Random Access Humor Page 3 January 1993
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>> Least Compatible Modem <<
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Gateway Telepath - Gateway 2000
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Affectionately known as the "Psychopath" within the Gateway tech
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support department, this 14.4KB internal FAX/Modem can't even work
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and play well with others of its own kind.
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>> Best Hardware Innovation <<
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U.S. Idiotics Messenger Dual Technology Modem/Cabbage Grater
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With ACSL (Adaptive Cole Slaw Leveling)
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This device is especially popular with sysops who run their
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boards out of the kitchen.
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>> Beast Shareware Software <<
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Dane Quayl Speeling Cheekr by Softwar Toolboks
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As the documentation for this product puts it: "Who are these
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guys in horney-rimmed glasses at Harvird and Oxfort to tell
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peeple how to speel wurds?"
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>> BBS of the Year <<
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Graceland BBS
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Memphis, TN.
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Although callers are required to give their real name at
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registration, there are no handles needed here. For just
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a little while, every caller gets to be "The King."
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Well folks, those are the awards for 1992. Be sure to stop in next
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year for the 1993 awards. You know, I'm glad that the Graceland BBS
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won the BBS of the Year award, but I've never understood all this
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"Elvis lives" fuss. With a small army of professional Elvis
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impersonators traveling around the country doing shows at seedy
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lounges, is it any wonder there are so many Elvis sightings? {RAH}
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Sound Byte:
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Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb, while the other two
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discuss the merits and Freudian implications of the violation
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of the socket.
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(submitted by Rick Arnold)
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Random Access Humor Page 4 January 1993
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Take Us to the Promised LAN
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by Dave Bealer
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Every year since 1985 has been touted by some "authority" as "The
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Year of the Network" and 1993 will be no different. Of course all
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this fuss is becoming more and more like proclaiming 1993 to be "The
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Year of the Automobile." How? Why? Doesn't everybody already have
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one, or at least wish they did?
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Most organizations with more than three PCs have them connected in
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some fashion, if only to share peripherals. (See the October 1992
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issue of RAH for more info on peripheral sharing.) But increasingly,
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sharing peripherals is not enough. The PC in Fred's office down the
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hall has many files that absolutely *everyone* needs. The solution?
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The Local Area Network (LAN).
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Everyone today knows that LANs are the "must have" solution to almost
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all problems from payroll to the common cold. What most people don't
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know is how all this network mania started.
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The OSI from ISO
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================
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Way back in the 1970s the International Sadists Organization (ISO),
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located in Paris, France (where else?) was considering a problem.
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For years the people of planet Earth had been gazing with awe and
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wonder at the mighty computing machines run by serious men in white
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laboratory coats. But now, some upstarts were actually building so-
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called "personal computers" in their basements and garages.
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In response to this threat to their technical sovereignty, the men
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in white coats asked the ISO to formulate a way to further confound
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the non-technical public. Thus the ISO formulated the Operational
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Sadistic Interface (OSI). Obviously the ISO had a lot to learn about
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palindromes.
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Basically, the OSI was about networks. The theory was that if some
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twerp was going to make computers themselves easy to use, a good way
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to make computing impossible to understand was to make it necessary
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to hook all the computers in an organization together somehow.
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Single level networks had been around for some time, but the expert
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sadists at ISO were too smart to even bother with them. There simply
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weren't enough buzzwords to throw at unwary users. So the layer
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principle, which has worked so well for Betty Crocker, was adopted.
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The layers of the OSI are as follows: Physical, Data-link, Transport,
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Hysterical, Devonian, Triassic and Application. Geologists search
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through the layers of network sediment to find the fossils buried
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within: Acoustically coupled modems; S-100 computers; CP/M; Ethernet
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(Oops! Sorry...that one is still alive and kicking, by some quirk of
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fate.); the Timex Sinclair and the Apple Lisa.
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Random Access Humor Page 5 January 1993
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All of these creatures of the computing world failed at networking in
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one way or another. All of them except ethernet, which has been
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successful as a species for a long time, even if it hasn't changed
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much over all that time. Ethernet is the horseshoe crab of network
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technology.
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LAN Logic
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=========
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There are three major logical types of LAN, at least from the point
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of view of signalling: Ethernet, Arcnet and Token Ring. Each of
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these types is designed to better meet the needs of certain kinds of
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workgroups.
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Ethernet - this one almost never got off the ground - users kept
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passing out from the ether fumes until a reliable method of
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sealing the cables was found. Ethernet has the advantage of
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having been around forever, so ethernet has been made to work,
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however unwillingly, with a wide range of computing platforms.
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Arcnet - welders seem to prefer this type of network, which is
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inexpensive and quite serviceable for small workgroups.
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Token Ring - created by J.R.R. Token, the celebrated "Lord of the
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Ring." A little known interesting fact is that J.R.R. Token is
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the husband of Madeline Token, the Secretary of Vaporware Corp.
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Token Ring is popular with large installations because response
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time is not significantly degraded when more stations are added.
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Of course it couldn't get much worse.
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Let's Get Physical
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==================
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The signals generated by all logical LAN formats need some way of
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getting to the other stations in the network. The standard solution
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has long been cables. There are four major types of cabling used in
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LANs today. They are as follows:
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Coaxial Cable - this is familiar to most people as the same kind of
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cable which brings "Cable TV" into their homes. This creates some
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unique opportunities for the future, like a single coax link which
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could bring both a network connection and The Brady Bunch to a
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user's high definition monitor. Coax allows fast data transfer
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and sports shielding which reduces interference from other signal
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sources like coffee makers, sun lamps, Game Boys, and other common
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office appliances.
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Unshielded Twisted-pair (UTP) - often mistaken for plain telephone
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wire, UTP is cheaper than coax while offering nearly the same data
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transfer rates. Lacking shielding, UTP appeals to the daredevils
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of the networking world.
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Shielded Twisted-pair (STP) - Similar to UTP, but with shielding, STP
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is preferred by organizations that practice safe networking.
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Random Access Humor Page 6 January 1993
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Fiber-optic Cable - The fastest of all cable alternatives, Fiber
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optic cable is sealed, so that users are spared from viewing the
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unspeakable things being done to the light within. Remember, this
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*was* designed by sadists.
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LAN Topologies
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==============
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The cables which carry the signals in a LAN cannot be randomly laid
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out as the network is built, even though that is inevitably the way
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it will appear in most cases. A lot of agonizing goes into the
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design of the wiring layout, or topology, of a new network. Some of
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this agonizing is even justified.
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There are three major network cabling topologies: Star; Daisy-chain
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and Bit Bucket. No matter which topology is planned, the network
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almost always starts off with a Bit Bucket topology.
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Network Operating Systems
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=========================
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Every LAN requires a network operating system (NOS) in order to
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function. MS-DOS is an operating system (OS) and so is OS/2 (even
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though it rarely operates). These systems are not themselves capable
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of accessing devices on another machine in a network. OTOH, they do
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seem to occasionally access data which has no origin on Earth.
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The NOS, working with the device drivers for the Network Interface
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Card (NIC) in the user's computer, is able to trick the OS into
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thinking that the hard disk in Fred's PC down the hall is really the
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Q: drive in *the user's* machine. Of course, PC operating systems
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are among the more gullible pieces of software you will ever
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encounter. They are quite forgetful as well, even to the point of
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misplacing disk drives that really *are* connected to the machine
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in which they are "operating."
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A LAN in Every Pot
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==================
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So what does the future of networking hold? Will Ethernet survive
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into the true Cyberage? Perhaps one day mankind will network itself
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into one gigantic, communal intelligence. When that happens, we may
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finally solve one of the ancient riddles that has plagued the great
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thinkers since the time of Socrates -- how many sysops can fit on the
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head of a 24-pin dot matrix printer? {RAH}
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Sound Byte:
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She's not my stereotype.
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Random Access Humor Page 7 January 1993
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The "Give me a rock" Problem
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by Greg Borek (1:261/1129@fidonet.org)
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Computer programmers have always encountered difficulties trying to
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solve real world problems with computers. Some famous problems like
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the "Travelling Salesman" problem model difficult real world events
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and are extremely difficult to solve efficiently. Other problems,
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like how to bury as many expenses as possible in the spreadsheet
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covering that last business trip or how to get the phone number of
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that cute girl that just started in marketing, are very common and
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actually not strictly confined to the world of the programmer.
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One of the more enduring classical problems in computer science is
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the "Give me a rock" problem. Although not as thoroughly discussed
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in university courses as some of the other unsolved problems, it is
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much more prevalent in industry.
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The problem is most clearly described by an example. The following
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is an overheard discussion between a user and a programmer:
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(Note: Programmer comments in parenthesis are only thoughts and were
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not expressed vocally).
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u: Give me a rock.
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p: What kind of rock?
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u: You know, a rock.
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p: (This is going to take quite some time). OK, how about this one?
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u: No, not that one.
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p: Well, what's wrong with it?
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u: It's not the one I wanted. Give me a rock.
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p: How about this one? Is this the one you want?
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u: No, that's not it either. I couldn't possibly use that one. It's
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much too small for one thing.
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p: (Now we're getting somewhere.) How big is this rock supposed to
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be?
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u: Bigger than that one anyway. Give me a rock.
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p: (Alright, I didn't have anything to do this weekend anyway). OK,
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here's a bigger rock.
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u: Boy, are you ever dense. You don't know the first thing about
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rocks, do you? I couldn't possibly carry that by myself, it won't
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fit in my wagon, and, worst of all, it's red. We've only ever
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used big, blue rocks before.
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Random Access Humor Page 8 January 1993
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p: (...and I went to college for this). OK, in order to carry it by
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yourself I'll get a rock that weighs less than ten pounds, will
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fit in your wagon, and is any other color than red. Is that what
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you want?
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u: Yes, ten pounds sounds about right. Give me a rock.
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p: How about this one?
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u: Oooh, that's a nice one. It will never do. Take it back.
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p: What's wrong with it?
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u: For one thing it's much too wobbly to stand on. Besides, I saw
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somebody with a nice red rock over there in that dump truck. Why
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can't you get me a rock more like that one. I bet that one isn't
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the least bit wobbly.
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p: (You don't have the faintest idea what you want this rock for, do
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you?) You'll need a dump truck for a rock like that.
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u: I don't have money in the budget for a dump truck. I definitely
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need a rock more like that one. And get one that fits between my
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other rocks here. Now that I think about it, it should be at
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least two feet on a side so it doesn't tip over. And it has to be
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portable so it should weigh about three pounds or less. Give me a
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rock.
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p: Where am I going to find a rock like that? Look, your rock can't
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possibly have all of those features at the same time. I'll do the
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best I can to find a rock like that but this may take some time.
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u: Not good enough. I need a rock now so I can improve my
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productivity. Give me a rock.
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... and so on. Note that the programmer had lost a notable amount of
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hair while this discussion was occurring. This presentation of this
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famous and unsolved problem is just an example of the perils facing
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programmers today. {RAH}
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================
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Greg Borek is a C programmer with a "Highway Helper" (OK, "Beltway
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Bandit" - but don't tell his boss that we told you) in Falls Church,
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Virginia. He has previously been mistaken for a vampire.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Real Programmers don't write specs -- users should consider themselves
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lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
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Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write,
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it should be hard to understand.
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Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right
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down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who
|
||
can't do systems programming.
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page 9 January 1993
|
||
|
||
*************
|
||
PRESS RELEASE
|
||
Ron Albright Contact: Ron Albright
|
||
Disktop Publishing Association 1-205-853-8269 (Voice)
|
||
1160 Huffman Road 1-205=853-8478 (FAX)
|
||
Birmingham, AL 35215 1-205-854-1660 (BBS)
|
||
|
||
NEW ASSOCIATION ANNOUNCED TO PROMOTE ELECTRONIC PUBLISHING
|
||
|
||
BIRMINGHAM, AL: The "Disktop Publisher's Association" ("DPA")
|
||
is an association for parties of all levels who share interest in the
|
||
dissemination of information in electronic ("computer readable")
|
||
format. Those eligible for membership include authors, publishers,
|
||
and consumers of on-disk publishing. "Electronic publishing," in its
|
||
broadest sense, shall mean the authorship and production for general
|
||
consumer access of any materials which are primarily read by computer
|
||
and viewed on "paperless," "digital," and "on-disk" publishing -
|
||
includes fiction and nonfiction works that are stored and distributed
|
||
on disk or available by modem access on "bulletin board systems"
|
||
("BBSs").
|
||
|
||
Electronic publishing, in this sense, specifically does not
|
||
include programs (which are sets of instructions used by a computer
|
||
to perform other tasks) unless these programs are designed to
|
||
facilitate the reading of written materials. Examples might include
|
||
hypertext authoring programs or text viewers.
|
||
|
||
Statement of Purpose
|
||
|
||
The purpose of the DPA includes:
|
||
|
||
1. To promote, though improved public awareness, the benefits
|
||
of electronic publishing. These benefits include availability -
|
||
often on a 24 hour a day, on demand basis - of electronic
|
||
publications, faster production time, cheaper cost, easier revision
|
||
and updating, reduced consumption of natural resources, and - using
|
||
appropriate reader software - enhanced presentation and readability.
|
||
|
||
2. To provide a forum for discussing the unique challenges of
|
||
successfully publishing and marketing disk-based publications.
|
||
Examples might include matching an author or publisher with the
|
||
appropriate medium for a proposed project. Would hypertext be best?
|
||
Plain ASCII? Multimedia?
|
||
|
||
3. A matching service will be organized to place authors - who
|
||
may not be interested in complexities of marketing and publishing -
|
||
with publishers who may be willing to assist in these commercial
|
||
aspects. "Writers write and publishers publish" is an axiom that
|
||
applies to electronic publishing as well as traditional formats.
|
||
|
||
4. To share resources for mass marketing electronic publications.
|
||
Examples might include sharing of costs of mailing publications to
|
||
user groups, etc. DPA will also assist new authors and publishers in
|
||
getting press releases circulated and media coverage. Sharing mailing
|
||
lists with other publishers is another possibility open to members.
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page 10 January 1993
|
||
|
||
Membership Requirements
|
||
|
||
The only requirement for membership shall be an interest in the
|
||
advancement of electronic publishing. No fees will be solicited
|
||
during the start-up phase.
|
||
|
||
Interested parties can contact the DPA electronically at:
|
||
The DPI BBS - 205-854-1660. Or through electronic mail on
|
||
CompuServe (75166,2473), MCI Mail (RALBRIGHT), GEnie
|
||
(R.Albright) or through the mail at the above address. {RAH}
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Goodbye Newsletter, Hello Magazine
|
||
by Bernie Krumb
|
||
|
||
In a further demonstration of just how depraved and egotistical the
|
||
management of VaporWare Corporation has become, company President
|
||
Luther Lecks has announced that Random Access Humor will henceforth
|
||
be known as an electronic magazine, rather than a newsletter.
|
||
|
||
Apparently that bird-brain thinks that merely adding topic sub-
|
||
headings and a cute little "{RAH}" end-of-article marker can give
|
||
this rag some class. He is sadly mistaken. This is the sorriest
|
||
excuse for a serious publication I have ever had the misfortune to
|
||
work for. In fact I have a good mind to...
|
||
|
||
"Oh. Hi, Vinnie! What are you doing here so late? Vinnie?"
|
||
|
||
"Vinnie, what are you doing with that knife? Put the knife down,
|
||
Vinnie! Put it down!! Aaarrrrgggghhhh!!" {RAH}
|
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
--- Taglines Seen Around the Nets
|
||
|
||
Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
|
||
|
||
A fool and his money are my two favorite people.
|
||
|
||
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
|
||
|
||
I have a magnetic personality - keep me away from diskettes.
|
||
|
||
STATUS QUO is Latin for "the mess we're in."
|
||
|
||
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
|
||
|
||
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
|
||
|
||
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
|
||
|
||
Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
|
||
|
||
The only perfect science is hindsight.
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page A-1 January 1993
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Masthead:
|
||
|
||
Editor: Dave Bealer
|
||
|
||
Acting Deputy Assistant Editor: Scott White
|
||
|
||
Contact: The Puffin's Nest BBS
|
||
FidoNet: 1:261/1129
|
||
Internet: f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org
|
||
BBS: (410) 437-3463 (1200-14400/V.32bis)
|
||
|
||
Regular Mail: (Only if you have no other way to reach us!)
|
||
Random Access Humor
|
||
c/o Dave Bealer
|
||
P.O. Box 595
|
||
Pasadena, MD. 21122 USA
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor (RAH) is published monthly by Dave Bealer as a
|
||
disservice to the online community. Although the publisher's BBS may
|
||
be a part of one or more networks at any time, RAH is not affiliated
|
||
with any BBS network or online service. RAH is a compilation of
|
||
individual articles contributed by their authors. The contribution
|
||
of articles to this compilation does not diminish the rights of the
|
||
authors. The opinions expressed in RAH are those of the authors and
|
||
are not necessarily those of the publisher.
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor is Copyright 1993 Dave Bealer. All Rights
|
||
Reserved. Duplication and/or distribution is permitted for non-
|
||
commercial purposes only. Any system which charges hourly connect
|
||
fees is obviously commercial. Any system which charges more than $10
|
||
per month ($120/yr) for download privileges is considered to be a
|
||
commercial system for these purposes and may not distribute RAH. RAH
|
||
may not be distributed on diskette, CD-ROM or in hardcopy form for a
|
||
fee. For any other use, contact the publisher.
|
||
|
||
RAH may only be distributed in unaltered form. Online systems whose
|
||
users cannot access the original binary archive file may offer it for
|
||
viewing or download in text format, provided the original text is not
|
||
modified. Readers may produce hard copies of RAH or backup copies on
|
||
diskette for their own personal use only. RAH may not be distributed
|
||
in combination with any other publication or product.
|
||
|
||
Many of the brands and products mentioned in RAH are trademarks of
|
||
their respective owners.
|
||
|
||
Copies of the current issue of RAH may be obtained by manual download
|
||
or Wazoo/EMSI File Request from The Puffin's Nest BBS (FREQ: RAH), or
|
||
from various sites in several BBS networks. Back issues of RAH may
|
||
be obtained by download or file request from The Puffin's Nest BBS.
|
||
|
||
Article contributions to RAH are always welcome. All submissions
|
||
must be made electronically. File attach your article to a netmail
|
||
message to Dave Bealer at 1:261/1129. E-mail may also be sent via
|
||
Internet to: dave.bealer@f1129.n261.z1.fidonet.org
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page A-2 January 1993
|
||
|
||
Tagline and filler submissions may be made via e-mail. Article
|
||
submissions should be made via file. Submitted files must be plain
|
||
ASCII text files in normal MS-DOS file format: artname.RAH; where
|
||
artname is a descriptive file name and RAH is the mandatory
|
||
extension. Your text should be less than 70 columns across for
|
||
widest readability. If your article does not conform to these simple
|
||
specs, it may get lost or trashed. Also note that such imaginative
|
||
names as RAH.RAH might get overlaid by the blatherings of similarly
|
||
minded contributors. If your hardware is incapable of producing file
|
||
names in the proper format, you may send your article as one or more
|
||
e-mail messages. It will not be possible to make private responses
|
||
to any submissions or correspondence received.
|
||
|
||
The editors reserve the right to publish or not to publish any
|
||
submission as/when they see fit. The editors also reserve the right
|
||
to "edit", or modify any submission prior to publication. This last
|
||
right will rarely be used, typically only to correct spelling or
|
||
grammar misteaks that are not funny. RAH is a PG rated publication,
|
||
so keep it (mostly) clean.
|
||
|
||
RAH can accept only the following types of material for publication:
|
||
1) Any material in the public domain.
|
||
2) Material for which you own the copyright. If you wrote it
|
||
yourself, you are automatically the copyright holder.
|
||
3) Authorized agents for a copyright holder (typically an
|
||
organization) may submit material on behalf of that holder.
|
||
|
||
In writing jargon, RAH is deemed to be given "One Time Rights" to
|
||
anything submitted for publication unless otherwise noted in the
|
||
message accompanying the contribution. You still own the material,
|
||
and RAH will make no use of the material other than publishing it
|
||
electronically in the usual manner. If you want your copyright
|
||
notice to appear in your article, place it as desired in the text
|
||
you submit. Previously published articles may be submitted, but
|
||
proper acknowledgement must be included: periodical name, date of
|
||
previous publication.
|
||
|
||
RAH Distribution System:
|
||
(Sites bearing the <contrib> designation will accept your
|
||
contributions and forward them to the editors.)
|
||
(All these systems would be good places to find sysops with a sense
|
||
of humor...seemingly a rarity these days.)
|
||
|
||
The Puffin's Nest Pasadena, MD. Sysop: Dave Bealer
|
||
FidoNet> 1:261/1129 (410) 437-3463 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
SailNet> 53:5000/1129 CinemaNet> 68:1410/101 <contrib>
|
||
(RAH Publication Site)
|
||
Current RAH Issue: FReq: RAH
|
||
Back Issues of RAH: FReq: RAHmmyy.ZIP
|
||
Complete Writers Guidelines: FReq: RAHWRITE
|
||
Complete Distributor Info: FReq: RAHDIST
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page A-3 January 1993
|
||
|
||
RAH Gateway Systems:
|
||
|
||
My House -=FBBS=- Cheasapeake, VA. Sysop: Scott White
|
||
FidoNet> 1:275/6 (804) 424-0394 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
RaceNet> 73:2601/0 Flynet> 196:1130/2 CrossNet> 73:2601/0
|
||
InterSports> 103:1032/0 <contrib>
|
||
|
||
Pooh's Corner Fells Point, MD. Sysop: Mark Truelove
|
||
FidoNet> 1:261/1131 (410) 327-9263 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
RBBSnet> 8:936/206 FilNet> 33:410/0 CandyNet> 42:1031/1
|
||
<contrib>
|
||
|
||
The Depths of Hell Bayonne, NJ. Sysop: Eric Knorowski
|
||
FidoNet> 1:107/813 (201) 437-5706 14400 (HST)
|
||
FishNet> 21:102/101 CandyNet> 42:1011/1 ChateauNet> 100:5801/100
|
||
<contrib>
|
||
|
||
007LZ Southfield, MI. Sysop: Gary Groeller
|
||
FidoNet> 1:120/636 (313) 569-4454 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
W-Net_fts> 66:636/1 <mail only - no BBS>
|
||
|
||
The Edge of Sanity Dearborn, MI. Sysop: Tom Smith
|
||
FidoNet> 1:2410/279 (313) 584-1253 9600 (V.32)
|
||
SogNet> 91:7/4279
|
||
|
||
H*A*L Muskogee, OK. Sysop: Lloyd Hatley
|
||
FidoNet> 1:3813/304 (918) 682-7337 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
RFNet> 73:102/1 RANet> 72:918/21 LuvNet> 77:101/1
|
||
DoorNet> 75:7918/205 <contrib>
|
||
|
||
WRITER'S BIZ BBS Waynesville, MO. Sysop: Rick Arnold
|
||
FidoNet 1:284/201 (314) 774-5327 14400 (v.32bis)
|
||
RBBSnet 8:921/705 <publication site of RUNE'S Rag>
|
||
|
||
|
||
RAH Official Distribution Sites:
|
||
|
||
Automation Central San Jose, CA. Sysop: Radi Shourbaji
|
||
FidoNet> 1:143/110 (408) 435-2886 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
|
||
Wit-Tech Baltimore, MD. Sysop: Doug Wittich
|
||
FidoNet> 1:261/1082 (410) 256-0170 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
|
||
Incredible BBS Burleson, TX. Sysop: Don Teague
|
||
FidoNet> 1:130/82 (817) 447-2598 9600 (V.32)
|
||
|
||
Milliways Pittsburgh, PA. Sysop: David Cole
|
||
FidoNet> 1:129/179 (412) 766-1086 16800 (HST/Dual)
|
||
|
||
Supernova BBS Scotstown, Quebec Sysop: Ian Hall-Beyer
|
||
FidoNet> 1:257/40 (819) 657-4603 2400
|
||
|
||
Random Access Humor Page A-4 January 1993
|
||
|
||
Data Empire Fredericksburg, VA. Sysop: Richard Hellmer
|
||
FidoNet> 1:274/31 (703) 785-0422 9600 (HST)
|
||
<contrib>
|
||
|
||
Outside the Wall Baltimore, MD. Sysop: Rob Novak
|
||
FidoNet> 1:261/1093 (410) 665-1855 9600 (V.32)
|
||
|
||
CALnet @node.1 Detroit, MI Sysop: Gary Groeller
|
||
FidoNet> 1:2410/120 (313) 836-8275 14400 (V.32bis)
|
||
<contrib>
|