1141 lines
51 KiB
Plaintext
1141 lines
51 KiB
Plaintext
***** ***** ***** *****
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***** ***** ***** *****
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************* ************* ************* *************
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** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** **
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********* ********* ********* *********
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** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
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***** ***** ***** *****
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SBI-Submarine Pens Proudly Presents:
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####========================================================####
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THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 4, 58
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####========================================================####
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"Three years and REPLIES TO: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
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still going strong"
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* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS
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*** P P U U R R P P S
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***** P P U U R R P P S
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******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS
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********* P U U R R P S
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*********** P U U R RR P S
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***** P UUUUU R R P SSSSSS
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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* **** *
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*** *** ***
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**** * *****
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************************************
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****************************************
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************************************
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**** ***** *****
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*** ***** ***
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* ***** *
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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***********
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*********
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*******
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*****
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***
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*
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WRITE TO: IGHF/955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209/Cambridge, Ma 02139
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Pope Jephe: jstevens@world.std.com
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Doc Simpson: scott@plearn.bitnet
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Editor: mal@sit.sop.fau.edu
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Subscriptions: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
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Back issues ftp from quartz.rutgers.edu in /pub/journals/purps
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HOW TO SUBSCRIBE: send a mail message to the HailOtis address saying
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subscribe me and you will be subscribed. It's easy and painless and it's
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next to impossible to goof up.
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####===================================================================####
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INTRO
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####===================================================================####
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Welcome to another exciting issue of Purps. Late as usual (Hail Creiza!)
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but alas it's there on your desk top or what ever.
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I'll keep this short because it needs mailing, though I'll probably rant
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and rave a bit for your edification.
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First off, I'd like to thank all the folks who sent in submissions. Thank
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goodness we had some this time! I'd especially like to thank those who sent
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in original material they composed. This is what Purps needs much more
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off. Follow the example of the submitters below and you too can find fame
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and fortune in the mighty archives of Otis.
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Second off, excuse the bit on Clipper, but it's important. I suppose it has
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some bearing on Otis seeing as it would be like the one of those alphabet
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soup government agencies to tap all encrypted Otisian traffic then at a
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later date decode it for their own greasy means. Like when we wake up one
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morning and discover that american has been over run by Christians. Anyway
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I urge and every one of you to express your support for doing away with the
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silly clipper chip. There are plenty of other solutions that are far better
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and won't allow the alphabet soup crew to freely read your mail.
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Also I'd like to welcome all our new subscribers and to thank them for
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having some patience with us not getting them a new issue all lickity-split
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as it were. It still astonished me how we constantly have people
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joining up onto the ranks of Otis. I suppose some would say it has to do
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with the internet growing. Really it's probably due to the might of Otis
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growing. Out of ancient Sumeria has come a power. A power that will give
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the innocent mortal on the net and beyond a chance at salvation.
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Next time we should have some spam haiku. We're looking for submissions of
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a poety spammy nature. Submit if you feel so inclined.
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####===================================================================####
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Miracle of Radium
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####===================================================================####
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From: jack@cee.hw.ac.uk (Jack Campin)
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Subject: GLOWING health with the Miracle of Radium!!!
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Date: Thu, 3 Feb 1994 21:55:24 GMT
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Spa water containing radium (as found in several places in Central Europe)
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was believed to be health-giving for a while. The heaviest doses of radium
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anyone ever took were due to a tonic sold in the US around 1930; an article
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in Scientific American last year gives the whole gruesome story of what
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this did to its biggest fan.
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I once saw an electric radium corset on a stall in a car boot sale here.
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The idea was that the thing would tingle your skin with electricity and
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irradiate you at the same time, they were sold as an arthritis treatment. I
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am glad that my curiosity was not quite strong enough to lead me to buy it.
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I have since heard that it can cost you a few hundred quid to have them
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disposed of as radioactive waste; the radium is for real and in a serious
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quantity, hundreds or thousands of times more than a watch dial.
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Another gadget from the same era that I did buy last week was one of those
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gas-discharge-tube electrotherapy machines. They'd make *great* placebos.
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You plug them into the mains, fit a glass tube into the bakelite handle,
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and turn up the power till it glows purple. When you bring it close to
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your skin you get a trail of red sparks from the glass and a slight
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tingling sensation.
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####===================================================================####
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The Pope has Moved
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Mon, 7 Feb 1994 15:32:27 -0800 (PST)
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From: Pope Jephe <ighf@netcom.com>
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Subject: THE POPE HAS MOVED!!!!
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THE POPE HAS MOVED!!!!
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Hi-de-o, Loyal OTISians, Rubber Chicken Photographers, Editors, Nuncios,
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Archbishops, Saints and the Utterly Indescribable:
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I've moved.
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Pope Jephe I of the IGHF, Jeff Stevens, Editor of the OD, Co-Editor of
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the "Liber Otiosus", Rubber Chicken Distributer, and YOUR POPE, DAMNIT,
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is now located at:
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ighf@netcom.com
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It's cheaper than the World and less crowded, cheaper even than the place
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in Bedford many of you thought I might end up.
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Please memorize this message and eat it.
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Please eat this message and memorize it.
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There will be a test.
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####===================================================================####
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Neuropsychology can be fun...
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Sat, 26 Feb 94 21:06:16 EST
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From: buglady@bronze.lcs.mit.edu (Aliza R. Panitz)
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Subject: Neuropsychology can be fun... (FWD)
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> Date: Sat, 26 Feb 94 2:07:03 EST
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> From: David <dhe@eden.rutgers.edu>
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> To: elbows@mc.lcs.mit.edu
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From a case report in the _Journal of Clinical and Experimental
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Neuropsychology_:
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"Initially cooperative with testing, Mr. S became increasingly impulsive,
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jocular, and disinhibited as the session progressed. He asked the examiner
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for a date, tapped rhythmic patterns for the Finger-Tapping Test, drew
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smiling faces on test forms, sang, and defined the word `tirade' by
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demonstration."
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####===================================================================####
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Christian Home Educators Association
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 23 Feb 94 12:46:00 CST
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From: LindaHedges <LindaH@ssecmail.ssec.wisc.edu>
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Subject: recent mail gem
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PJI,
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Found this gem in my mailbox. Couldn't possibly make this up. It's another
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case of real life being stranger than fiction.
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The Wisconsin Christian Home Educators Association is having their 47th
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annual spring convention March 25-26, 1994 in Watertown, WI. There are
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about 4 dozen mini-workshops to choose from. Topics range from teaching
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math to workable science projects; from teen temper-how to handle anger to
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preparing your child for college. All good home eduction basics.
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Then there are the specialty subjects including Rock & Roll Voodoo, part 1
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and part 2. The description of this workshop reads " Satan is using rock
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music as a powerful tool. This workshop discusses the 7 major demonic
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principalities that were released from rock and roll music". And of
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course, "How to communicate Biblically".
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Then there is my personal favorite, a special 3 part workshop just for
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women.
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1. Find your position - "Part 1 of a 3 part series for women. Much of the
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conflict in our homeschools is due to the fact that each family member is
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out of position."
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2. Assume your position.
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3. Maintain your position.
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I don't know about you, but I have this overwhelming urge to embroider
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these three phrases on a dishtowel and hang it up in my kitchen. I think
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I've found my slogan for 1994.
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Find your position.
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Assume your position.
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Maintain your position.
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####===================================================================####
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Otis Elevators
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####===================================================================####
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Otis Elevator Co.: Managing the Service Force
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9-191-213 Revised 10/21/92
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Cash JI Jr, O'Neil J, Ostrofsky K
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Continues the story of Otisline by examining the field service force
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organization, information systems, organizational systems, and control
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systems. Portable terminals, hand-held radios, and other portable
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technologies are discussed as methods to transform the service force. Three
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cities are used as example organization forms. The objective is to present
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the interaction and mutual adaptation of the MIS organization and control
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systems - when any of these is changed, the others must also be changed.
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SETTING: Connecticut, Dallas, Boston, LA, service, elevator, manufacturing, 1991
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SUBJECTS: Communication Equipment, Communication Process, Information Systems, Service Management
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LENGTH: 18p
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Harvard
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To order for HBS Case Materials, call (617) 495-6117 (Source Code 264A)
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####===================================================================####
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Flying Cows
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####===================================================================####
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From: kendall.bullen@his.com (Kendall Bullen)
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Subject: Flying cow injures woman!
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Date: Wed, 29 Dec 1993 02:56:24
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Flying cow injures woman BRULE, Wis. (Dec. 28) UPI - A northern Wisconsin
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woman was recovering Tuesday from injuries she suffered when she was hit by
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a flying cow.
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Violet Wentela, 72, was moving one of her beef cows off the road Sunday
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when it was hit by a car, became airborne and hit Wentela before coming to
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rest in a ditch on the other side of the road.
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Wentela was taken by ambulance to a Duluth, Minn., hospital where she was
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treated for bumps and bruises and held overnight for observation.
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State Patrol Trooper Mike Brostowitz said the car that hit the cow
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sustained about $2,000 damage. He said the cow weighed nearly 600 pounds.
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Wentela is expected to recover fully from her injuries but the cow was not
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so lucky.
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####===================================================================####
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Admission Essay
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Fri, 28 Jan 1994 16:37:46 EST
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From: "I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless
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information. -Calvin [and Hobbes]" <hessoun@kenyon.edu>
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Subject: Nice admissions essay...
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From: MX%"aephilli@acpub.duke.edu" 28-JAN-1994 11:42:43.68
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_______________________________________________________________________
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This is an essay by a student at NYU (Hugh Gallagher) in response to the
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application question below:
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3A. ESSAY
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IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE
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APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE
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THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE
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REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
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I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have
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been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more
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efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for
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Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.
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Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
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I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot
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bicycles up several inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook
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Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a
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veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
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Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly
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defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army
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ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject
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of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension
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bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after
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school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
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I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.
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Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I
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don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have
|
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been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I
|
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toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat
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.400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international
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botany circles. Children trust me.
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I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I
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once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and
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still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the
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exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed
|
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several cover operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do
|
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sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully
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negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The
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laws of physics do not apply to me.
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I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On
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weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years
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ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have
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made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
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I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan,
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cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.
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I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have
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spoken with Elvis.
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But I have not yet gone to college.
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####===================================================================####
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the Bobbitt phenomenon
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####===================================================================####
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From: twcaps@tennyson.lbl.gov (Terry Chan)
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Subject: Short Cuts
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Date: 25 Jan 1994 19:17:03 GMT
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In the January 20, 1994 issue of the Internet mailing list, _China News
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Digest_, we find an interesting report of a reported version of the Bobbitt
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phenomenon.
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_From: DaLuo Jia
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Source: Agence France Presse English Wire
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Date: 01/18/94
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BEIJING -- Fortune-telling is enjoying a renaissance in China, much to the
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annoyance of the government and the horror of one man who was castrated by
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his wife after a palmist told her it would save their marriage.
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The People's Daily ran a stinging commentary Tuesday, decrying the
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reappearance in Chinese cities of numerous fortune-tellers who "are
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completely out of place in modern-day China."
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Calling on the authorities to "strongly combat" the phenomenon, the
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official communist party organ said fortune telling merely "propagates
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feudal superstitions and negative feelings of fatalism."
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The newspaper's warnings of the dangers of superstition would certainly
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enjoy the backing of Zhang Jingui, a peasant from the northeastern Chinese
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province of Heilongjiang whose wife had consulted a palmist to ask for
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advice on their disintegrating marriage. According to the Heilongjiang
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Legal Daily dated January 15 and seen here Tuesday, the palmist told
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Zhang's wife that cutting of her husband's penis and allowing it to grow
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back would restore their relationship to its previous happy state.
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She promptly returned to her husband, got him drunk and cut his penis in
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two with a pair of scissors, the newspaper said, adding that Zhang nearly
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died from loss of blood.
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The same newspaper also highlighted the case last year of another man from
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Heilongjiang, Yang Jinjin, who was told by a fortune teller that his wife's
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long illness was being caused by the presence of his 78-year-old mother in
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their house.
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Yang dutifully strangled his mother to save his wife who died a week later
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from what was then diagnosed as hepatitis.
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Feudal superstition is among the "six vices" targeted by the Chinese
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authorities, along with prostitution, gambling, selling of women and
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children, drug trafficking and abuse, and pornography.
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####===================================================================####
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Hydrogen Beer
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Sat, 12 Feb 1994 13:20:05 -0700
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From: iverson@crl.nmsu.edu (Eric Iverson)
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Subject: the flammable suds of the new Hydrogen Beer
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From: Scott Weikart <scott@igc.apc.org>
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Sender: scott@igc.apc.org
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Subject: Tie up the curtains, it's Suiso Time
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TOKYO (AP) -- Here in the chic pubs of the Aoyama district, the latest fad
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inspired by beer makers struggling through a sluggish economy is the
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flammable suds of the new Hydrogen Beer. The latest craze among the
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environmentally conscious crowd of twentysomethings, the "Suiso" beer made
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by the Asaka Beer Corporation has been extremely popular at karaoke
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sing-along bars and discotheques.
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Hydrogen, like helium, is a gas lighter than air. Because hydrogen
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molecules are lighter than air, sound waves are transmitted more rapidly;
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individuals whose lungs are filled with the nontoxic gas can speak with an
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uncharacteristically high voice.
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Exploiting this quirk of physics, chic urbanites can now sing soprano parts
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on karaoke sing-along machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer.
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The drink comes in a transparent hexagonal bottle imported from the maker
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of the new American drink "Zima," according to Hideki Saito, marketing
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director of Asaka Beer Corp. While the bottles are imported from
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Tennessee, the labels are made with a 100% biodegradable polymer. The
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bottle caps are equipped with a safety valve to prevent excess build-up of
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pressure in high temperatures.
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The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become another selling point,
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even though Asaka has not acknowledged that this was a deliberate marketing
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ploy. It has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth
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using a cigarette as an ignition source. Many new karaoke videos feature
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singers shooting blue flames in slow motion, while flame contests took
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place in pubs everywhere in Tokyo on New Year's eve.
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So far, Asaka beer has insisted that the quantities of hydrogen used in the
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drinks is too low to create potential for bodily harm. In the factory, the
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carbon dioxide that is dissolved in the beer is partially extracted and
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replaced with hydrogen gas. Mr. Saito maintained that the remaining carbon
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dioxide mixed with hydrogen prevents the rate of combustion from increasing
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dramatically. Carbon dioxide is a nonflammable gas that is naturally
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contained in the exhaled breath of humans.
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However, the company has hesitated from marketing the product in the US due
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to legal complications.
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Each bottle of Suiso beer sells for approximately 1,200 yen, or eleven US
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dollars. The bottles are packed in special crates lined with concrete to
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prevent chain explosions in the event of a fire.
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####===================================================================####
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News of the Weird
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Sat, 12 Feb 1994 20:33:02 EST
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From: "I have measured out my life in Post-It Notes..." <hillv@kenyon.edu>
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Subject: submiyt!
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From: MX%"gtd176a@prism.gatech.edu" 4-FEB-1994 15:02:14.83
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Subj: News of the Weird (Once Again!!)
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LACK OF COMPETENCE: In Labouchere Bay, Alaska, in November, Cairl
|
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D. Cothren, 50, accidentally shot himself in the shoulder with the shotgun
|
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he was holding between his knees in the cab of a truck when he leaned over
|
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to spit tobacco juice into a can on the floor.
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LEAST JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDE: Jacqueline Clinton, 29, was found
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|
guilty of manslaughter in Toledo, Ohio, in January in the shooting of her
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boyfriend. According to her, the shooting occurred during an argument
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|
over differing interpretations of the Bible.
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TREASURED AGENCY: The Austin American-Statesman reported in
|
|
December that Texas Treasurer Martha Whitehead had hired a psychologist,
|
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for $1000, to council several employees of her office who were despondent
|
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about Whitehead's recommendation to abolish her agency.
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GO FIGURE: In recently released Department of Energy records,
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|
noted in U.S. News & World Report, the amount of plutonium now in the U.S.
|
|
stockpile was declassified and made public, but the amount of plutonium in
|
|
the stockpile 10 years ago remains classified.
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|
REALLY HUMAN: The protection against discrimination on the basis
|
|
of sexual orientation in Cincinnati's new human rights ordinance was
|
|
repealed in November 1993. However, the ordinance has the nation's only
|
|
provision forbidding discrimination against "Appalachian Americans."
|
|
|
|
SAVED: According to a recent note in the British medical journal
|
|
The Lancet, a amn attempting suicide in England was rescued after he had
|
|
spent more than an hour inhaling automobile exhaust fumes. Doctors
|
|
attributed his survival to the relatively low carbon monoxide content of
|
|
the exhaust -- due to new catalytic converter standards in Europe.
|
|
|
|
PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE: A December Associated Press dispatch from
|
|
Australia reported that members of Parliament traditionally address one
|
|
another much more aggressively than members of Congress do in the United
|
|
States. Among the names recently overheard on the floor of the
|
|
Parliament: perfumed gigolo, brain-damage, harlot, sleazebag, scumbag,
|
|
mental patient, and dog's vomit.
|
|
|
|
CHARGING ONWARD: In December, FBI agent John Wellman was fined
|
|
$1000 for an October incident in which he was charged with disobeying
|
|
traffic signs in Keokuk County, Iowa. While trying to locate a man in an
|
|
investigation, Wellman ignored the directions of a construction crew to
|
|
drive along the shoulder of the road and instead circumvented the
|
|
barricades and continued to drive on the pavement. Minutes later, he drove
|
|
his car into 6 inches of freshly poured cement set out to resurface the
|
|
road, resulting in a $70,000 expense to the state.
|
|
|
|
PIG STUFF: The North Carolina Legislature recently voted $170,000
|
|
for Swine Odor Task Force, whose members will report back in 1995 with
|
|
recommends on ways to reduce the smell from pig farms. A task-force paper
|
|
rejected making measurements by machine, claiming "the human nose is the
|
|
primary element in most attempts to gauge odor."
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Where are you
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
|
|
Date: Wed, 19 Jan 1994 19:15:30 -0500 (EST)
|
|
From: Marcus Eubanks <eubanks@astro.ocis.temple.edu>
|
|
Subject: wheeeeere arrrre yooooooo?
|
|
|
|
>I miss my Purps. Has Otis in his inestimable wisdom and grandeur seen fit
|
|
>to remove me from the magical distribution list?
|
|
|
|
Now why would Otis do a silly thing like that? Just because a few months
|
|
ago the distribution list didn't work right... Rumor has it that being on
|
|
the Otisian Distribution list is similar in many ways to Christian Baptism.
|
|
Once you have it you can't wash it off. If you sin you'll end up in one of
|
|
the nastier burgs of Hell in stead of fooling about with the Virtuous
|
|
Pagans.
|
|
|
|
|
|
>Is the world coming to an end?
|
|
|
|
Yes. Otisian Dogma tells us so. It's called Ragnarock sometimes. Other
|
|
times it is known as "the time they pull the plug on the great Reality
|
|
Projector" It is also known by other names as well but many of these are
|
|
secret and only can be mentioned in print as T. B. F. for example.
|
|
|
|
Keep in mind though that Otisian Dogma further goes on to explain that the
|
|
Chosen of Otis. (That's you getting this no doubt) will be saved and live
|
|
on after the end of the world in a paradise of sorts filled with the
|
|
Paisley Wonders of Heethor. Ghastly clashing oddly colored Robes of Otis
|
|
will be available to all and maybe they'll even be a few seminars on what
|
|
Otis is really about.
|
|
|
|
>Have I in some fashion offended any of the gods?
|
|
|
|
It's very hard to offend the gods Fashion wise except by Wearing Plaid.
|
|
Still this only offends Heethor and not some of the other gods. Still
|
|
the Paisley Goddess is not one to trifle with.
|
|
|
|
>What vile reprehensible crime have I committed to be punished thus?
|
|
|
|
When was the last time you obeyed the important 4th commandment?
|
|
|
|
>Can I possibly atone?
|
|
|
|
See previous answer. Avoid plaid. Wear Paisley. Avoid thoughts of the Brown
|
|
Bucket Heresy. Never send in your $20. Wear Chucks the sacred foot gear of
|
|
the Gods. Submit to Purps lord knows we need stuff.
|
|
|
|
>Have I been insufficiently silly of late?
|
|
|
|
If you still have your job and all your friends and a relative or two who
|
|
call you their own, no doubt you've been insufficient in that area.
|
|
|
|
> Is it because of my chronically poor spelling?
|
|
|
|
Definitely not. This is a tribute to the God(dess) Creiza. If you excel at
|
|
this enough there's a possibility for a scholarship from the Daughters of
|
|
Creiza.
|
|
|
|
>Do the spiffy new paisley boxer-shorts that my mom got me for christmas
|
|
>reveal that I am a base character deep at heart?
|
|
|
|
Of course not. See above. Your mother is just claiming to have bought you
|
|
those boxer shorts. She refuses to admit the fact that they mysteriously
|
|
appeared on Heethormas eve. (If you received a gift from the Divine Paisley
|
|
Goddess surely you must have been doing something right.)
|
|
|
|
>Pleeeze o pleeeze do not continue to torture me. I, a poor decrepit
|
|
>medical student (there's nothing in the world lower than a medical student)
|
|
>humbly beg your indulgence.
|
|
|
|
Take up Faith healing. Otis could use more of those. Medical school is a
|
|
dead end where your mind is chained along certain illogical paths of
|
|
thought.
|
|
|
|
>Send me a new Purps.
|
|
|
|
Ain't this one?
|
|
|
|
> Bring Joy back into my life.
|
|
|
|
The knowledge that you are one of the herd of Otis should be joy enough for
|
|
anyone. Your heart should swell knowing divine forces watch over you each
|
|
and every day.
|
|
|
|
> (Or hell, bring Bessy-Sue or Maria or any of the others back into my
|
|
>life. I'm not picky.)
|
|
|
|
Write the IGHF. They can fix you up with the appropriate incantations to
|
|
take care of this.
|
|
|
|
> Brighten my dull and mundane day.
|
|
|
|
Your days are never dull when you bask in the illuminating light of Otis.
|
|
|
|
>Give me cause for rejoicing.
|
|
|
|
Rejoice the dough has risen... Oops that's something else... What I meant to
|
|
say is you've found Otis. Rejoice in that. Rejoice in the fact you're in
|
|
medical school and get to muck about in bowels guts and spleens to your
|
|
heart's content. Rejoice to the fact that former presidents do not live in
|
|
your neighborhood.
|
|
|
|
>Make me a gladder individual.
|
|
|
|
You are receiving personal guidance here me bucko what more could make you
|
|
gladder?
|
|
|
|
> Help me to self-actualize.
|
|
|
|
Send to IGHF for the course catalog. I'm sure they can fix you up with the
|
|
appropriate course or seminar. "Do you want to be self-actualized? Sure we
|
|
all do..."
|
|
|
|
> Enhance my ability to know that, "I'm okay!" Render me more pro-active.
|
|
>Grant me the boon of "happy feet." (Guilty feet have got no rhythm, you
|
|
>know...) Grant me the courage to believe in an after-birth.
|
|
|
|
All these and more can be answered though initiation into the higher
|
|
mysteries of Otis. Forge ahead toward higher illumination. Contact the
|
|
Pope and schedule an appointment. No need to bring an apron they can
|
|
supply all you want.
|
|
|
|
>I need a Purps.
|
|
|
|
And I need to finish ending Purps.
|
|
|
|
>Marcus Eubanks n3etr |
|
|
><eubanks@astro.ocis.temple.edu> | "poor impulse control..."
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Gopher Sacking
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Fri, 21 Jan 1994 16:40:04 -0600
|
|
From: David Iverson <diverson>
|
|
Subject: Love Boat Congressman
|
|
|
|
|
|
From: holli005@maroon.tc.umn.edu (Anne B Hollister-2)
|
|
Subject: Gopher
|
|
Date: Wed, 19 Jan 1994 18:18:51 GMT
|
|
|
|
|
|
Preface: As some of you may know, Gopher of Love Boat fame (a.k.a. Fred
|
|
Grandy) is a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, and he represents
|
|
a district in northwest Iowa.
|
|
|
|
Well, a FOAF was working as a page at the Capitol. She says another page
|
|
was working the elevators one day when Gopher got on. Instead of asking
|
|
what floor Gopher wanted, the page said, "Fiesta Deck??"
|
|
|
|
Gopher was extremely pissed and had the page fired.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Elvis the AntiChrist? Yeah Right
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
[Once again the forces of the AntiChrist out out gunning for Elvis. The
|
|
world will be sorry when he rises up one day from 10,000 leagues beneath
|
|
the sea and does battle with the forces of the AntiChrist]
|
|
|
|
From: churchyh@sneezy.cc.utexas.edu (Henry Churchyard)
|
|
Subject: Re: ELVIS IS THE ANTICHRIST! BEWARE OF THE RETURN OF ELVIS!
|
|
Date: 28 Jan 1994 17:21:01 -0600
|
|
|
|
In article <095302Z27011994@anon.penet.fi>, <an54588@anon.penet.fi> wrote:
|
|
|
|
There has been speculation recently that Elvis Presley is going to come out
|
|
of hiding and present himself to the world. Some people claim that Elvis is the
|
|
Messiah, the Second Coming, and that he brings with him the Word of the Lord.
|
|
When he arrives, people are going to bow down and worship him, and to accept
|
|
his word as their holy scripture. They are going to claim that the
|
|
Thousand Year Reign of Christ has begun.
|
|
|
|
That is false, a dangerous, deadly mistake. Elvis Presley is NOT the Messiah.
|
|
Elvis is the Antichrist. When Elvis comes, the SEVEN YEARS of TRIBULATION
|
|
will begin. All those who turn away from the TRUE PATH of Christianity
|
|
and follow the false Messiah will be DAMNED.
|
|
|
|
DO NOT ACCEPT THE FALSE MESSIAH "ELVIS PRESLEY" INTO YOUR HEARTS!
|
|
REPENT AND FOLLOW THE TRUE PATH, THE PATH OF JESUS!
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Britain's latest Craze!
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Sender: "P.Harris" <P.Harris@soton.ac.uk>
|
|
Subject: Kinky Sex, Britain's latest craze !
|
|
|
|
A snippet from the latest Fortean Times.
|
|
By the way, they now have an Email address,
|
|
ie. bobR@forteana.win-uk.net
|
|
|
|
Certain people have very odd ways of assuaging their passion, the man who
|
|
loved pavements:
|
|
|
|
(picture of Karl Watkins here)
|
|
|
|
Karl Watkins, 20, is seen here during his trial at Hereford Crown Court in
|
|
February 1993 on five counts of outraging public decency. Watkins claimed
|
|
it was a case of mistaken identity, but he was identified many times as the
|
|
man found face down on sidewalks with his pants around his ankles. One boy
|
|
told of seeing Watkins' bare bum "moving up and down" while a mother said
|
|
she was shocked to see a crowd of children around him. Watkins, of Redditch
|
|
in Worcestershire, who even attempted to mount an underpass, was jailed for
|
|
18 months. Sun, 19 Feb; D.Mirror 20 April 1993.
|
|
|
|
AUTO-EROTICISM
|
|
|
|
A shy 20-year-old student called 'George' was erotically obsessed with his
|
|
Austin Metro. He lived at home with his strictly religious parents, had no
|
|
sexual experience of women at all, but began to develop feelings for his
|
|
car. He fantasised about other Metros he'd seen, but his own was special
|
|
and photos of it adorned his bedroom. Its front reminded him of a smiling
|
|
child, and its rear end aroused him. He would seek out quiet places where
|
|
the two of them could be alone. Described as "confused but happy", George
|
|
would crouch down by its smoking exhaust pipe and masturbate. Independent,
|
|
7 Dec 1992.
|
|
|
|
Eventually, George was sent for treatment at London's Institute of
|
|
Psychiatry, and was the subject of a paper in the journal Sexual and
|
|
Marital Therapy (Dec 1992). Before his car fetish, George was 'preoccupied'
|
|
by women, children and dogs urinating. He was treated by a technique known
|
|
as 'orgasmic reconditioning' - he'd masturbate looking at pictures of cars
|
|
and then switch at the last moment to pictures of women. He was also taught
|
|
to picture himself masturbating in his Metro and then imagine his father
|
|
catching him in the act. Drs Amanda Permet and Padmal de Silva say that
|
|
George now thinks more about women, but "he has retained a strong interest
|
|
in Metros which we have not yet been able to modify." They stressed that
|
|
George was an unusual case, though this did not reassure Helen Fielding.
|
|
Writing in the Sunday Times (13 Dec 1992), she points to a large body of
|
|
knowledge about the sexual relationship between man and car, and quotes
|
|
Auden: "Love requires an object / anything will do / When I was a child, I
|
|
loved a pumping engine / thought it every bit as beautiful as you." Beyond
|
|
that, Fielding blames modern advertising that extolled cars and computers
|
|
as love objects.
|
|
|
|
THE THRILL OF THE CHASE
|
|
|
|
Shoplifter Julie Amiri told Chichester Crown Court that she could only
|
|
achieve orgasm by being chased through the streets by police cars or store
|
|
detectives and being locked in a cell. "It turns me on. I love the
|
|
uniforms, the chase and the flashing blue lights." A psychiatrist
|
|
specialising in shoplifting confirmed that Amiri suffered from a disorder
|
|
which compelled her to steal to gain attention. Amiri, a 35-year-old
|
|
divorcee, said she had her first orgasm in the back of a police car when
|
|
she was 28, and found it hard not to think of the association. Sussex Eve.
|
|
Argus, 9 June 1993.
|
|
|
|
LOVE HURTS
|
|
|
|
An unnamed American would habitually shoot himself while sexually aroused.
|
|
He wore a bulletproof vest, but sometimes it was not enough to prevent
|
|
fairly serious wounding. After medical treatment on several such occasions,
|
|
the man was ordered into therapy. Dr Mark Schwartz, writing in that
|
|
renowned medical magazine Vanity Fair (Nov 1992), said: "He kept using less
|
|
protection to get his kicks because he was building up a tolerance."
|
|
|
|
I'M BROWN, PIE ME!
|
|
|
|
The prize for Oddest Urge should be split between two men in Brenda Love's
|
|
Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices (1992). 'Pieface Brown' got his
|
|
girlfriend to pie him at the point of ejaculation. She could only take so
|
|
much after which Pieface gatecrashed social functions, inviting women to
|
|
tarte him up while he videoed it...
|
|
|
|
However, Pieface is outshone by the soldier who swallowed Barbie dolls'
|
|
heads at the critical moment. Love claims to have seen an X-ray of six
|
|
heads in his intestine, and said: "He re-uses the dolls' domes after a good
|
|
boiling."
|
|
|
|
MAKING HISTORY
|
|
|
|
There may be historical significance in all this. Just before fire
|
|
demolished part of Windsor Castle, a caretaker there was arrested for
|
|
performing an undisclosed sex act with a jar of Bovril in the very chapel
|
|
in which the conflagration started. Sun, 5 Sept 1992.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
The Mighty Lungfish
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
>Date: 17 Feb 94 16:02:07 GMT-1100
|
|
>From: "Av." <A0764720@mfs01.cc.monash.edu.au>
|
|
>Subject: Lungfish
|
|
|
|
>Doesn't it warm the cockles of your heart to know that there's an
|
|
>entire ecological niche filled in by a big brown ugly fish that sits
|
|
>in the bottom of a puddle and eats detritis? Makes you think that
|
|
>the world was designed by someone with a very very warped sense of
|
|
>humour.
|
|
|
|
That would probably be Spode then. He's known for his sense of humor. Those
|
|
who've been the butt of his jokes one too many times often prepend the word
|
|
humor with "warped".
|
|
|
|
The lungfish itself is a very Otis oriented creature. Let's examine it
|
|
closely and see what we can find.
|
|
|
|
First off Muddy the Mud Skipper from the Ren and Stimpy show is a LungFish.
|
|
We all know though past issues of Purps and from our basic initiations into
|
|
Otis what exactly are the ties to the Otisians and those creators of Ren
|
|
and Stimpy. They've managed to single handedly bring to the forefront of
|
|
American culture the plight of the yak. They've elevated Yak Shaving day
|
|
from an obscure Holiday to one of the major events of the year. Yaks play
|
|
important and crutial roles in almost every episode. Remarkably enough to
|
|
our critics not a single scene involves yaks contains the dread Yak
|
|
tossing. That unspeakable practice no one dares talk about nor contemplate.
|
|
Personally banned by the great god Otis herself who appeared to the Pope in
|
|
the from of a great whirl wind of recycled newspaper and decreed "Yak
|
|
tossing is right out!"
|
|
|
|
Now Muddy in the show elevated itself from a simple woodland creature into
|
|
a major t.v. personality idolized by millions if not billions of people
|
|
around the planet. This shows the world, and especially us Otisians how
|
|
even the most simple, ugly and innocent thing can though illumination and
|
|
timely payments be elevated to that of an almost minor deity (of course
|
|
actually claiming such powers could get poor Muddy struck down by a Purple
|
|
Thunderbolt...)
|
|
|
|
If we examine the episode where Stimpy is taken by the arm and lead to
|
|
stardom by Muddy we can see yet more important symbolism. Here Muddy, the
|
|
simple LungFish who by his own boot straps elevated himself to near
|
|
divineness (read Illumination), takes time out of his life and helps
|
|
elevate poor Stimpy to the same lofty height.
|
|
|
|
Take careful note of the use of Kitty Litter in this episode. It stands for
|
|
the sands of the Gobi desert which hides the great ancients secrets of
|
|
Otis. At one point Stimpy in fact attempts to bathe in this Gobi sand. In
|
|
other episodes it is eaten and used for various other purposes, all having
|
|
to do the eventual end of intaking the Gobi sands into ones body, as one
|
|
assimilates the ancient Knowledge of Otis.
|
|
|
|
In many ways Muddy the Lungfish can be viewed in a similar light to Doc
|
|
Savage, though Muddy's actions and episodes tend to be far less lucid when
|
|
it comes to Otisian wisdom.
|
|
|
|
Second we can look at the symbol of the LungFish itself. A fish with lungs?
|
|
What a strange concept. A fish lives in water yet attempts to move onto
|
|
land with its lungs, much in the same way as an ordinary mortal in her
|
|
ordinary existence move through their life making and endless serious of
|
|
quantum choices. Life is like water. In fact water in some senses is the
|
|
symbol of life, though in other cases it can mean different things. Take
|
|
the Jonah and the Whale for example.
|
|
|
|
So here we have a person leading an ordinary life in a thick heavy liquid
|
|
(water). The thickness causes slowness and sluggishness it coats the brain
|
|
and obscures thought much as ordinary life does. So the LungFish seeking
|
|
to better itself, attempts to breath air. The wisdom of Otis perhaps. A
|
|
lighter fluid. In fact the LungFish attempts to move to a different reality
|
|
totally. To a higher plain of being. Again much like an ordinary mortal who
|
|
learns the true word of Otis attempts to do.
|
|
|
|
This same water-to-air concept can be found in the teachings of the Solar
|
|
Word where one moves from a planet material existence to a lighter thinner
|
|
existence among the stars where ones body becomes the pure energy of
|
|
thought.
|
|
|
|
Another characteristic of the LungFish worth mentioning is it's ability to
|
|
wrap itself in a coat of mud and lie dormant for a year or a 100 years
|
|
until the time is right when it can emerge and live again. Here we see the
|
|
classic death/rebirth cycle everyone is familiar with. Also we see the
|
|
basic survival instinct which has allowed the Otisians to continue on as
|
|
long as they have. During hard times the follows of Otis, much like the
|
|
LungFish, adapt themselves for a long wait until times become better.
|
|
|
|
Truly one can see that the LungFish is a animal worthy of contemplation
|
|
for meditation. No doubt with a little thought on the part of the initiate
|
|
other secrets can be teased out of this be-lunged fish.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
CLIPPER CHIP
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Washington, DC
|
|
February 15, 1994
|
|
|
|
Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility (CPSR)
|
|
|
|
|
|
OVER 10,000 SIGN PETITION TO OPPOSE CLIPPER
|
|
|
|
|
|
In only two weeks, over 10,000 users of the nation's computer networks have
|
|
signed the CPSR petition calling for President Clinton to withdraw the
|
|
Clipper proposal.
|
|
|
|
Opposition has been widespread, from CEOs of large firms to college
|
|
students in small towns, from librarians and civil libertarians to computer
|
|
programmers and product marketers.
|
|
|
|
To sign the petition, email <clipper.petition@cpsr.org> with the message "I
|
|
Oppose Clipper"
|
|
|
|
Encourage friends to sign.
|
|
|
|
In 1990, over 30,000 people sent email message to Lotus asking that a
|
|
product containing detailed personal information called "Marketplace" be
|
|
withdrawn. Eventually Lotus withdrew the product.
|
|
|
|
CPSR is a non-profit, membership organization based in Palo Alto, CA.
|
|
CPSR's mission is to provide analysis of the effects of new technological
|
|
developments on society. For more information, please email cpsr@cpsr.org
|
|
or call 415-322-3778.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Another Artifact Found
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Sat, 12 Feb 94 09:11:40 -0500
|
|
From: A.J. Janschewitz <p00445@psilink.com>
|
|
Subject: ANOTHER ARTIFACT FOUND!!!
|
|
|
|
Hail OTIS, I believe I've stumbled upon another Sacred Object! It was
|
|
discovered among the ruins of a radio station that had been shelled by bad
|
|
ratings (Hail BROW).
|
|
|
|
To describe it would be a disservice. It will be on its way up to the IGHF
|
|
upon my digging out of this snow.
|
|
|
|
==a.j.==
|
|
|
|
p.s... the chicken sends her regards; she's having a great time. She's been
|
|
invited to ride along (on the blade) with a town plow in Wallingford, CT,
|
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by the town Director of Public Works. Photos will follow.
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####===================================================================####
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A New Saint
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Fri, 11 Feb 1994 20:25:11 -0800 (PST)
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From: Jeff Stevens <ighf@netcom.com>
|
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Subject: D'accord. I give.
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|
|
|
Fawn F. Fritter, or whatever your name is, for finding the Pope cheap
|
|
access to the flume o' lectronic comminucations known as the Internet, this
|
|
Pope declares you to be the living St. of Frugality.
|
|
|
|
PJI
|
|
|
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####===================================================================####
|
|
A Letter
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Mon, 7 Feb 1994 22:38:54 -0500 (EST)
|
|
From: Marcus Eubanks <eubanks@astro.ocis.temple.edu>
|
|
Subject: Joy supreme! O rapture!
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|
|
|
Hail Otis!
|
|
|
|
To our beloved Pope and other esteemed worthies, from your humble and
|
|
hebephrenic servant, on this, the regularly irregular festival of the
|
|
migration of the baby-beerlings, greetings.
|
|
|
|
It is with great joy that I hear news from our brothers in other lands of
|
|
our Pope's transmigration. Already, new light suffuses the previously dull
|
|
domain of netcom.com. I join our rapidly multiplying throng of brothers,
|
|
sisters and siblings of undecided or confused gender in glad song
|
|
celebrating of this welcome event.
|
|
|
|
Praise be to our Pope, and may strange objects of dubious utility be
|
|
bestowed upon his house! O stellar day for netcom that he judged their
|
|
realm and found it not wanting. May they who do there dwell be granted the
|
|
grace to acknowlge the grace bestowed upon them, and not transgress.
|
|
|
|
And, if it be his will, may he intercede with the strange quaternity on my
|
|
behalf, that I may be granted passing grade on Thursday's psych exam,
|
|
though the faculty thereof, renowned for setting ludicrously difficult
|
|
tests that would render even a board-certified shrink wet about the crotch
|
|
of her, his or its britches, try to thwart my righteousness in the ways of
|
|
Otis.
|
|
|
|
Yours in Otis,
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Satan
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Sun, 6 Feb 1994 15:12:06 -1812
|
|
From: iverson@crl.nmsu.edu (Eric Iverson)
|
|
Subject: Satan?
|
|
|
|
Date: Fri, 4 Feb 94 14:20:27 +0000
|
|
From: "dhan (Dan Shoop)" <shoop@horton.farsef.com>
|
|
Subject: Satan?
|
|
|
|
From Bits and Bytes:
|
|
=> SUBJECT: SATAN CLAUS! Parents in Grand Saline, Texas, removed a
|
|
picture of Santa Claus from a school because the letters in "Santa"
|
|
can be rearranged to spell "Satan". This caused Esquire to note
|
|
that the letters in "Grand Saline, Texas" can be re-ordered to
|
|
spell "Grand Anal Sex Site". (SOURCE: Unplastic News)
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Nirvana: the Partridge Family of 1994?
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Sender: dm745@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Rodney E. Griffith)
|
|
Subject: Nirvana: the Partridge Family of 1994?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This piece was written utilizing a Lettermanesque/Dennis Miller style.
|
|
It's not really finished and I'm unsure if it will be - too many weak
|
|
links, not enough uncircumstantial evidence. It's an excerise more than
|
|
anything but I hope you find it at least moderately amusing.
|
|
|
|
Rodney
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comparisons between The Partridge Family and Nirvana:
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Had a string of catchy, yet commercially-contrived hit records
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Wait. That was the Nirvana description.
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Danny Bonaduce arrested for altercation with transvestite prostitute
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Kurdt Cobain married to Courtney Love
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Wore tacky plaid clothing and bellbottoms
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Wear flannel shirts and bellbottoms
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Recordings largely the work of studio musicians
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Recordings largely the work of CIA conspiracy
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Presented squeaky clean "just say no" image
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Kurdt Cobain developed NyQuil and Heroin highball as flu cure
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
David Cassidy posed nude for _Rolling Stone_
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Firebombed Canadian adult bookstore
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Laurie Partidge prone to make sarcastic remarks at Keith's expense
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Prone to stage catfights with Axl Rose
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Used dated 1970s pop-art graphics on record sleeves
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Use dated 1970s pop-art graphics on record sleeves
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Epitomy of bad hairstyling
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Part of "grunge" scene
|
|
|
|
THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
|
|
Based on the Cowsills
|
|
|
|
NIRVANA:
|
|
Based on a million forgotten late 1970s bands
|
|
===========================================================================
|
|
A Rain of Fish
|
|
===========================================================================
|
|
[Here again we see the symbolism of the Fish.]
|
|
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 94 15:16:33 EST
|
|
From: buglady@bronze.lcs.mit.edu (Aliza R. Panitz)
|
|
|
|
DARWIN, Australia (AP) -- Small fish have been found flapping
|
|
about in parking lots and on roads after rainfalls in the desert
|
|
Outback, puzzling tourists and residents.
|
|
But a zoologist said Tuesday there was a scientific explanation
|
|
for reports it was ``raining fish'' at the town of Dunmarra.
|
|
``The heavy rain triggers off eggs, that are in a dormant stage,
|
|
to hatch and the fish just seem to appear,'' said Beryl Morris, a
|
|
zoologist with the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research
|
|
Organization, the federal science agency.
|
|
Adele Liebelt, the owner of Dunmarra Wayside Inn, about 370
|
|
miles south of Darwin, said Tuesday that hundreds of small fish had
|
|
appeared near her premises.
|
|
``The first time it happened last week, they were everywhere.
|
|
They're only little fish, so the birds take them away,'' said
|
|
Liebelt, who owns the inn with her husband.
|
|
Hundreds of the fish, between 3/4 inch and 2 inches long, were
|
|
found in the inn's parking lot, leaving tourists travelling the
|
|
north-south Stuart Highway ``quite amazed,'' she said.
|
|
``We've got no idea where they came from,'' Liebelt said.
|
|
She said the area had experienced heavy rains in February.
|
|
Morris said many varieties of fish had adapted themselves to
|
|
survive in harsh desert conditions and their eggs could lie dormant
|
|
for more than a year.
|
|
``The eggs can be carried quite long distances by the wind, so
|
|
when people tell you about raining fish, it's not the fact that the
|
|
eggs are hatching in the air or the clouds.
|
|
===========================================================================
|
|
Transcontinental Translations
|
|
===========================================================================
|
|
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 1994 20:29:54 HKT
|
|
From: LBSPODIC%USTHK.bitnet@mitvma.mit.edu
|
|
Subject: FWD: Transcontinental Translations
|
|
|
|
Date: 19 Dec 1993 02:28:48 +0800
|
|
From: dekai@cs.ust.hk (Dr. Dekai Wu)
|
|
Subject: Transcontinental Translations
|
|
|
|
Notes from Ellen Rabkin
|
|
Transcontinental Translations
|
|
|
|
East Coast West Coast
|
|
---------- ----------
|
|
absolutely not maybe
|
|
yes maybe
|
|
action item by Feb 12 for joe Joe's working on the problem
|
|
bozo subcontractor
|
|
pencil-neck strategic partner
|
|
brawl design review
|
|
dictator facilitator
|
|
do it and do it now can you sign up for this action item?
|
|
do it right or you're fired I'm confident you'll get it done
|
|
f*ck off trust me
|
|
follow the spec is there a spec?
|
|
get out of my office let's get consensus on this one
|
|
he's a jerk he's not signed on to our plan
|
|
he's a subordinate he's a team player
|
|
I'll cover your ass consider me your resource
|
|
ignore him, he's new I'm bringing him up to speed
|
|
local bar offsite facility
|
|
meet me in the parking lot let's take that discussion offline
|
|
oh sh*t thanks for bringing that to my attention
|
|
overdesigned robust
|
|
punch his lights out constructive confrontation
|
|
shut the f*ck up thank you for your input
|
|
shut up a minute let me share this with you
|
|
that's totally incompetent let me build on that point
|
|
unemployed consulting/contractor
|
|
over budget on schedule
|
|
under budget we haven't started yet
|
|
we finished early (no translation available)
|
|
we're done how do you feel about that?
|
|
what's your problem? I certainly understand your feelings
|
|
where's the spec? what's a spec?
|
|
where's the schedule? what's the game plan?
|
|
your plan sucks let me share my feelings on this plan
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
--Subink 1994
|