1732 lines
77 KiB
Plaintext
1732 lines
77 KiB
Plaintext
***** ***** ***** *****
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***** ***** ***** *****
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************* ************* ************* *************
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** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** **
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********* ********* ********* *********
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** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
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***** ***** ***** *****
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SBI-Submarine Pens Proudly Presents:
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####========================================================####
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THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 3, 44
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####========================================================####
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"One year and REPLIES TO: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
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still going strong"
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* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS
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*** P P U U R R P P S
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***** P P U U R R P P S
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******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS
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********* P U U R R P S
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*********** P U U R RR P S
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***** P UUUUU R R P SSSSSS
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*****
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*****
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*****
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* **** *
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*** *** ***
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**** * *****
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************************************
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****************************************
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************************************
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**** ***** *****
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*** ***** ***
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* ***** *
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*****
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***********
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*********
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*******
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*****
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***
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*
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WRITE TO: IGHF/955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209/Cambridge, Ma 02139
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####===================================================================####
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INTRO
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####===================================================================####
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Preintro:
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Okay here we go. I'm going to whack this together and send it out. It's
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been too long and now that there are a few dozen more subscribers Purps had
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better make an appearance. For those of you just tuning in, this is the
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44th issue of Purps. It is now starting on its third year. Originally this
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esteemed journal of OTISIAN thought was edited by Pope Jephe of the
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Infinite Spellings. He edited the first 20 or so. Sad to say, the Pope had
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to go onto bigger and grander things in the real world, and lost his net
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access for awhile. So the holy office of Purps editor was handed over to
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me. I've been editing it ever since.
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Who is this OTIS being, you ask? Well, OTIS is the Ancient Sumerian God of
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just about everything. OTIS has been around for a very long time. So long
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in fact it cannot be revealed just how long it has been. OTIS is the head
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of a pantheon of Gods who to this day continue to grow. Or should I say,
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continue to be revealed to the masses. Much that is of OTIS is kept hidden
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by the Knights of OTIS for reasons only known unto them. If you would like
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to know more read the previous issues of Purps, they are chock full of
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important details, or drop the Pope a line at his E-mail address
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jstevens@world.std.com. He'll be more than willing to explain more. After
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all, that is one of his many tasks OTIS gave him to do. Also, you can send
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normal mail to the IGHF at the address given above. This is an important
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address and should be used regularly. The IGHF has a thankless job of
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spreading the world of OTIS to the world. Why not send them a few dollars.
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For the mere price of eating dinner at Burger Death you could make the
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IGHFs day and help defray the costs of the new budding Eastern European
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Mission.
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What you read in Purps are all OTISIAN revelations. Some hit you over the
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head with their Dogma. Others are very subtle, and it may take years for
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the meaning to sink in. Look at the world around you. OTIS has planted many
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many many clues to help guide you on the path to enlightenment.
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Real Intro:
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I suppose you could call this an intro, or perhaps you could call it an
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anniversary address. It's one of those wastes of text editors who are full
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of beans find necessary to place somewhere in their anniversary issue.
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In case you hadn't guessed it, Purps is yet another year older. We're
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starting on our Third year now. Amazed it lasted this long? I'm not. After
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all, we have the backing of divine entities in this one, and even though
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the forces of darkness as of late have been inflicting untold bad stuff on
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me I'm still alive. (Why hey, just last week I ended up in the emergency
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room because I was rolling around on the floor in a pool of sweat screaming
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feeling like I had a kidney stone...of course after many complex and no
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doubt expensive tests, which I hope the OTISian medical plan will be able
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to cover, they found nothing and decided I just had a "bad back" or
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something to that effect.)
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Perhaps I should just knuckle under and get this issue out before the next
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bad thing happens. Perhaps the shuttle will crash into our new pad or
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something of that nature. Still, usually September is the worst month of my
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life and since This is October, things should start being smooth
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sailing.[Yeah right.]
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Of course one could view my misfortunes as some sort of divine
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teachings/trials or what have you similar to what you'd find in the ancient
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OTISian texts. And I'm sure the pain I went through with the old back
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business was nothing compared to some of the ancient secret rituals of the
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Knights of OTIS.
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So what does one do in an anniversary issue? Well, mostly business as
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usual. I suppose, once again, the business about how we change the volume
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number to reflect the year and leave the issue number alone. Why do we do
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this? Some divine force inspired us. I had a dream a year ago where I was in
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a sea of numbers and they floated by in order. The sun rose and fell and
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after 365 times the numbers changed in appearance but continued to
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progress. Then another year went by and the same thing happened. Over and
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over again. I don't remember how many years. It certainly was many. No
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doubt each referred to an issue of Purps. I can't remember how high the
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numbers went, but I do remember it was higher than the highest number on a
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Doc Savage Novel.
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Of course the secret symbolism of Doc Savage has yet to be revealed in
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Purps so the true meaning of this may escape you. If you are troubled by
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this Pray to OTIS or perhaps follow the OTISian command of "SEND US MONEY".
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I'm sure with a cash donation to the IGHF they could start you on the long
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and fruitful road to enlightenment.
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Once again we'd like to thank everyone for their submissions. Hopefully by
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next issue we'll be caught up. We still have bushel baskets of them at this
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time, so if yours isn't in this issue it should be in the next. Please keep
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those submissions coming.
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Since it is coming close to the closing on the new year we are looking for
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future predictions. Will Clinton be caught in some tawdry scandal in the
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White House with a saxophone? Will he suddenly die and be mysteriously
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replaced by the Otisian Candidates? Will Humpy the Stumpy Bear ever get
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back to her home? Why is the mail box so far away from the beach and why is
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the line so long?
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We'll leave it up to you. Let OTIS inspire you.
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In the better late than never department: Another OTISIAN directory has
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come out. Write to the IGHF if you want more info or ask the Pope at his
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address. This is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. With the more or less death of Fact
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Sheet Five it's become hard to keep in touch with the mail underground. the
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OD does a bang up job of keeping you up to date. It also has amazing cool
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graphics and assorted stories of an OTISIAN nature. If you have any
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magazine or what not send them to the Pope and he'll get them into the
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Directory.
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Also there's the Unspeakable Oath. Write to the Rev John (see his address
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in his submission below somewhere. TUO is a high quality Call of Cthulhu
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publication with very interesting articles and quite good art. In fact it's
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worth just getting TUO for the art alone. If you are all interested in COC
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or HPL drop the Rev a line.
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Hmm I may be opening a can of worms on this but...Mal runs a sort of junk
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mail list. This list consists of posting that are usually way to big to fit
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in purps or just too odd or strange or what ever not to fit the Purps
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format. Information on this junk mail list ranges from UFO's to security
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holes in the Internet, to cake recipes to the hat size of the Pope, from
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just plain silly stuff to serious important facts. This list has a lot of
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volume and has in the past killed people's disk quotas. If you'd like to
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get on this list send a note to Mal@socpsy.sci.fau.edu.
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Rumor has it there's an OTISIAN book in the works. Keep your fingers
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crossed.
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The distribution list has been growing by leaps and bound thanks to High
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Weirdness by E-mail. I suppose you can get a copy of it from
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mporter@nyx.cs.du.edu. It's well worth getting (it's free after all) and
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contains a wide assortment of interesting and amusing things you can get
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ahold of. [A lot of our new subscribers I assume came off this list.]
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Okay, you've been bored to tears. One last thing. Keep in mind Purps is a
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friendly nice kind sort of publication. We don't bite or yell at people for
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doing stupid things. Silly things are encouraged. I sometimes get the idea
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from people trying to subscribe that we'll expect a pound of flesh from
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them. That's not the case. Purps is supposed to be fun. Religion is
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supposed to be fun! You've been conned all your lives into thinking it
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isn't. If anything, OTIS is here to bring you that message!
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####===================================================================####
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FUN WITH PLUTONIUM
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Sat, 12 Sep 1992 17:45 HKT
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From: <LBSPODIC@USTHK.BITNET>
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Subject: tidbits from the American Physical Society
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Group: aps-news, Item 86 (Current Item Range #18 - #94)
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Subject: 17-Jul-1992
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From: pcdobson@usthk.bitnet, The Hong Kong University of Science & Technology
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3. BUSH ORDERS HALT TO PLUTONIUM PRODUCTION--WHICH ENDED IN 1988. It's not
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clear where we would make plutonium anyway. The Hanford plutonium
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production facility released more contaminated water into the Columbia
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River than previously believed, according to a report issued this week.
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The President also stopped production of weapons grade uranium, which we
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haven't been making for nearly 30 years. The Natural Resources Defense
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Council estimates that 75 of the 100 metric tons of the plutonium on hand,
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along with 500 metric tons of enriched uranium, are surplus. In yet
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another bold move, the President announced that nuclear tests would be
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limited to six per year--the number currently scheduled.
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Group: aps-news, Item 87 (Current Item Range #18 - #94)
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Subject: 24-Jul-1992
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From: pcdobson@usthk.bitnet, The Hong Kong University of Science & Technology
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Date: 25 Jul 92 11:28:28 HKT
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1. PHYSICISTS IN EUROPE, JAPAN AND CANADA OPPOSE SPACE STATION! In an
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unprecedented joint statement issued today, the Presidents of a group of
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major scientific societies, including The American Physical Society, fired
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a blast at Space Station Freedom. That's hardly news; they do it every
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year. But this time, the statement was accompanied by the translation of a
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statement adopted by the German Physical Society. Like their American
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colleagues, German physicists contend Space Station Freedom cannot be
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justified on the basis of economics or science. And it didn't stop with
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the Germans! The strongly worded German statement was endorsed by the
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Executive Committee of the European Physical Society, and by the Presidents
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of the Physical Society of Japan, the Canadian Association of Physicists,
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and the American Physical Society; Japan, Europe and Canada are "partners"
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with the United States in the space station. Meanwhile, at a Capitol Hill
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press conference, Rep. Howard Wolpe (D-MI) released a letter signed by 75
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of the most distinguished American space scientists; their letter contends
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the space station cannot be justified on the basis of its scientific
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usefulness or its importance to space exploration.
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Group: aps-news, Item 89 (Current Item Range #18 - #94)
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Subject: 31-Jul-1992
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From: pcdobson@usthk.bitnet, The Hong Kong University of Science & Technology
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Date: 1 Aug 92 10:07:27 HKT
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1. ATTEMPT TO KILL THE SPACE STATION IS EASILY DEFEATED IN HOUSE! An
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amendment to scrap the space station, offered by Bob Traxler (D-MI), failed
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237 to 181 Wednesday night. Little had changed in a year; only a handful
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of additional votes were cast against the orbiting budget eater, and the
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claims of its proponents were as fanciful as ever. My favorite: one
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Florida congressman solemnly explained that the station is the beginning of
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human exploration of the galaxies. But back on Earth, the House found
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itself a bit short of cash by the end of the evening, so it levied an
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across- the-board cut of 1% on VA/HUD/IA appropriations, except veterans'
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medical care. NSF--which was already flat funded--shared in the cut. The
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cut would have been worse, but $380M was stripped from the unneeded
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Advanced Solid Rocket Motor program, leaving just $100M. It was like
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sharks attacking a wounded whale; ASRM is in the district of Rep. Jaime
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Whitten (D-MS), the Appropriations Committee chair, but he was too sick and
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old to fight them off.
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2. SPACE STATION FREEDOM SEEMS CERTAIN TO SURVIVE IN THE SENATE. The full
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appropriations committee will take up the VA/HUD/IA bill today. Yesterday,
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the subcommittee called for the full $2.1B for the space station--$400M
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more than the House version. Where will the money come from? The National
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Aerospace Plane was zeroed and the Advanced X-Ray Astrophysics Facility was
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stretched out. NSF would actually get a $162M increase, but most of that
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would go to education. Research, which does not seem to rank near the top
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of Sen. Mikulski's priority list, would actually take a $20M cut.
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####===================================================================####
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SAFETY REPORT
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 09:16:00 EST
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From: "Nancy M. Piatkowski" <PIATKONM%SNYBUFVA.BITNET@VM1.NoDak.EDU>
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Subject: a funny one (xpost)
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College papers (as we all know) especially the public safety reports are a
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often a source of humerous items. To brighten a Monday morning from the
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University of Buffalo's "Reporter"- the administrative paper I write-
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Public Safety received a report Aug 26 of a suspicious person
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outside the UB Commons (a mini-plaza on the campus). According to
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officers, it was an off-duty deputy watching concrete harden"
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####===================================================================####
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MARK 'O THE BEAST
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Tue, 15 Sep 1992 09:33 HKT
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From: LBSPODIC@USTHK.BITNET
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Subject: FWD: MARK-OF-THE-BEA$T bar-code$ :)
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Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 19:25:00 CST
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From: <MCELWRE@UWEC.BITNET>
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Subject: MARK-OF-THE-BEA$T bar-code$
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THE "MARK OF THE BEA$T"
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ALL Christians are PROHIBITED by Revelation 14:9-11 from
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cooperating with the "MARK-OF-THE-BEA$T" bar-code, OCR-
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number, and magnetic-strip scanning systems, (as found in
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local libraries, supermarkets, retail establishments, etc.),
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which also THREATEN to SUBVERT Individual Privacy and
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Freedom.
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The scanners can serve THE SAME CRIMINAL PURPOSE as the
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TV cameras in the book "1984"!
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The UPC bar-codes are probably the most blatant form of
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the "MARK OF THE BEA$T" so far, with the "NUMBER OF THE
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BEA$T", 666, ALREADY CODED INTO THEM. Each of the so-called
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"guard patterns", pairs of thin lines spaced close together
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at the beginning, middle, and end of each full-length UPC
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bar-code, is IDENTICAL to one of the two codes for a 6.
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WARN YOUR FRIENDS!
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UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
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IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
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Robert E. McElwaine
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####===================================================================####
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LIBRARY HEADINGS
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####===================================================================####
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<01GP1KY67F608WWIR2@ACC.FAU.EDU>; Mon, 21 Sep 1992 10:48 EST
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Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1992 22:15 HKT
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From: <LBSPODIC@USTHK.BITNET>
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Subject: a few amusements from an excellent book!
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From: _The Whole Earth Handbook_, compiled by George M. Eberhart (Chicago:
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American Library Association, c1991), p.456
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_Funny LC Subject Headings_
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These Library of Congress subject headings have been selected over the
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years by the LC Professional Association as the funniest and most
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interesting.
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Adult children
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Beehives
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see Bee - Housing
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Combustion, Spontaneous human
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Crummies
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see Cabooses (Railroad)
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Diving for men
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Drug abuse - Programmed instruction
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Errors and blunders, Literary
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Feet in the Bible
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Hand - Surgery - Juvenile literature
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Impurity centers
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Lord's supper - Admission age
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Lord's supper - Reservation
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Low German wit and humor
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Monotone operators
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Running races in rabbinical literature
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Sewage - Collected works
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Standing on one foot
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see One-leg resting position
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Stupidity
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see Inefficiency, Intellectual
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Surgery - Nutritional aspects
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Thumbing the nose
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see Shanghai gesture
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Urinary diversions
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Venereal disease - Programmed instruction
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Source: "Funny LC Subject Headings Revisited," _American
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Libraries_, May 1985, p.332
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---------------
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From: _The Whole Earth Handbook_, compiled by George M. Eberhart (Chicago:
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American Library Association, c1991), pp.453-4
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selections from _Quasi-Perverse Subject Headings_
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Truth - Fiction [HCL]
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Hormones - Addresses, essays, lectures [LC]
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Hemmorhoids in the Bible [HCL]
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Fish Pastes [May subdivide geographically] [LC]
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Graham Crackers and Sexuality [HCL]
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Turkey - Operas [HCL]
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Sex Aids (for Canaries) [HCL]
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-----------
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From: _The Whole Earth Handbook_, compiled by George M. Eberhart (Chicago:
|
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American Library Association, c1991), p.465
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|
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_Little-Known Facts from the New York Public Library_
|
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|
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_Unusual Users_
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A man from New Jersey spent eleven years doggedly tracking down
|
|
the burial places of 60,000 New Jersey soldiers who fought in
|
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the Civil War. ("I might as well be plain with you," he said,
|
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"I'm a nut.")
|
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-----------
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From: _The Whole Earth Handbook_, compiled by George M. Eberhart (Chicago:
|
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American Library Association, c1991), p.455
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|
|
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selections from _Quasi-Best Publishers' Warnings_
|
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"Whoever Xeroxes this book calls down the curse of the
|
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seven motherless pigs."
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"This paper discolors with age and was ... selected for this qualty:
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if the pages are yellowing, the directory is obsolete and should
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not be used!"
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|
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####===================================================================####
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THE STUMPY TABLETS
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 30 Sep 92 23:57:24 CDT
|
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From: Reverend John <UC521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu>
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THE STUMPY TABLETS, part one
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(TABLETES STUMPITUS)
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as received and transcribed by the Reverend John
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While vacationing in Independence, Missouri (said by the Mormons to be
|
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the new Jurusalem, when Christ comes) I was strolling through the woods
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minding my own business when I underwent a most peculiar experience.
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A small brown bear with a wooden stump in place of one leg waddled
|
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into view, looking plucky and hopeful. I stopped in my tracks; she was
|
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a thing of beauty, a joy forever. She nodded at a nearby tree, which
|
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was partially rotted, and then wandered off into the forest. My heart
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racing, I hurried over to the tree. Inside, I found a set of six golden
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tablets. These tablets were curiously marked, and resembled nothing so
|
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much as cafeteria trays. Sure enough, there were spaces for the entree,
|
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the side dish, dessert and some bread. But in these spaces there was no
|
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food; no; lo; for within instead were inscribed words of great learning.
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I at once set about to transcribe these words. Many were difficult to
|
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comprehend, and thus the translation here is incomplete and puzzling
|
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at best. It is my fervent hope that other scholars can pick up where my
|
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humble faith has left off, and render these transcriptions in their
|
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full meaning, for all to see. That said, what follows are my best
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guesses at the contents of the Stumpy Tablets.
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(1) For the kingdom is soupful, and all fall within the spoon.
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(2) Those and with more besides shall not plenty be right.
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(3) Signs and thorns of symbol all incorrect.
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(4) Profess label for both and repairs for neither.
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(5) Plunge! Plunge! Plunge!
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(6) Next week tune in turn off tupper wear.
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in peace and good tidings,
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Rev
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uc521832@mizzou1.missouri.edu
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####===================================================================####
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FAMILY VALUES
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1992 16:54:52 -0400 (EDT)
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From: Fawn Fitter <ffitter@world.std.com>
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Subject: family values
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F A M I L Y V A L U D A Y S
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at
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W H O P P E R M A R T
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1000s of Election Season Bargains for the whole Family!
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-- BACK-TO-SCHOOL SAVINGS on stationery, clothing, Bibles.
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Crosses 30 - 50% off!
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Theme Books (Christian themes only) only $2.48 - $5.89!
|
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Arnold Schwartzenegger lunch boxes now only $7.98!
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-- Beautiful FAMILY PORTRAITS now only $8.99!
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Portraits include Father, Mother (slightly shorter), and
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two children. Extra children at no charge.
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-- Trillion $$$ in TAX BREAKS, PRICE SUPPORTS, and PORK.
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Guaranteed NOT TO BUST YOUR BUDGET! (*)
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(*) Terms and conditions to be revealed after 1/21/93.
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-- Pre-Season savings on HALLOWEEN MASKS and COSTUMES!
|
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Ted Kennedy . . . . . . . . . . now only $7.99
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Pat Schroeder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.99
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Hillary Clinton . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.99
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Saddam Hussein . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8.99
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Welfare Mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.99
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Assorted other Democrats . . . . 25 - 80% OFF!
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Liberal Media costumes . . . . . 30 - 80% OFF!
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-- MOTHER - DAUGHTER matching OUTFITS, now only 9.99 - 18.99! (*)
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(*) Proof of marriage required
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-- Your choice of QUALITY SCHOOLS! (*)
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Color -- YOU CHOOSE!
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Religion -- YOU CHOOSE!
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Sex Education -- YOU CHOOSE!
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Creationism -- YOU CHOOSE!
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Value of Pi -- YOU CHOOSE!
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(*) Prices not yet determined, but guaranteed to be less
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than existing public schools.
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-- 88 pc plastic DAN AND MARILYN DOLL SET, now only $22.88! (*)
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Includes plastic replica of Air Force 2, his 'n her offices
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with two copies of all important documents, Indiana National
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Guard uniform, aggressive young speechwriters, assorted
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Secret Service agents, and more! (Clothes for 11.5" dolls
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will fit.)
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(*) DAN doll slightly irregular.
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-- 1000 pc plastic GEORGE AND BARBARA DOLL SET! Includes Golf
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Set, vacant lot in Texas, three strands of pearls,
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Kennebunkport house w/ speed boat, Marine 1 helicopter,
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assorted banks and oil companies, sleep aids and thyroid
|
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pills, Secret Service agents, children and grandchildren (*)
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and much more!
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(*) Offspring sold separately. Collect the complete set!
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-- Heartwarming, lovable, BUCHANANSTAIN BEARS CHILDRENS' BOOKS
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only $2.17 each!
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The Buchananstain Bears Meet a Non-Judeo-Christian
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" " " and Too Many Homosexuals!
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" " " and the Liberal Media
|
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" " " in the Cultural War
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|
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-- BIG SAVINGS on discontinued items:
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James Baker World Travel Kit, includes passport, Mid-East
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proposals, dictionary, field guide to world leaders
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Syrian Dictator Mask (replaced by Iraqi Dictator Mask)
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Drug-Loving Mexican Pres. Dart Board (replaced by NAFTA)
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Environmental Protection Agency
|
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Education President coloring books
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Sam Skinner / John Sununu / Dick Thornburgh action figures
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Anita Hill Halloween Mask (not scary enough)
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-- 1000s more items at BIG DISCOUNTS
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W H O P P E R M A R T
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10 Acres of Discount Family Values
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####===================================================================####
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EVOLUTION
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 23 Sep 1992 16:34:16 -0400 (EDT)
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From: Fawn Fitter <fsquared@eff.org>
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Subject: vote early and often
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Presidential Evolution
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\\
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\\\\ \\\\
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\\\\// \\\\\ \\\\\\\
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( / | _-=\ / \\
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o o |) . . ) |oo \\ _________\/
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/_ | /_ | | ( / ) \
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(___ | | / / /_ / o o \
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|||) ' |_ / |____ | _________
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\___/ _/ |__/ / \_______/
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/ |_/ / __/ \_____/
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(____/
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Carter Reagan Bush Quayle?
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####===================================================================####
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DAN QUAYLE ATTACKS WARNER BROTHERS
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 23 Sep 1992 23:50:20 -0400 (EDT)
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From: Fawn Fitter <fsquared@eff.org>
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Subject: Funnies (fwd)
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From: charlie@lindy.Stanford.EDU (Charlie Channel)
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Subject: Dan Quayle Attacks the Road Runner, Bugs and Tweety
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Date: Wed, 23 Sep 1992 15:48:24 GMT
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At the dinner table last night, my son said that Dan Quayle attacked Warner
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Bros., specifically the Road Runner and Bugs Bunny.
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''The Road Runner,'' said Quayle, ''consistently and flagrantly flaunts
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disregard for the law. Such a role model sends the wrong message to minds
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that are in formation. In fact, the Road Runner continually attacks both
|
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family values and societal values. Kids run around the house where they
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ought not and grow up into adults that disregard red lights, stop signs and
|
|
paying taxes. And that Hollywood conspiracy, for the sake of the almighty
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|
dollar, is driving the country into the ground. Do you wonder why Rodney
|
|
King tried to run?''
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Quayle also said, ''The important lessons of life are that a person can do
|
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those things and not get caught. Wile E. Coyote, who personifies the
|
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establishment, the police authorities and servants of the executive branch
|
|
of the government, never catches the Road Runner. He's always running off
|
|
a cliff and walking on air, until he notices he has exceeded the capacities
|
|
of human common sense. It's only after he becomes aware of what others are
|
|
so acutely knowledgeable about that he succumbs to the laws of gravity.
|
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So, despite his best attempts to bring the Road Runner to justice, to do
|
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what's right, to make a plan work, he fails. That is not the sort of
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morality Hollywood ought to be teaching our kids.''
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One reporter in the audience prefaced a question about Bugs Bunny with the
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comment that televised cartoons should have no place in political
|
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discussions or the six o'clock news. Unfortunately, Dan Quayle did not
|
|
permit him to finish and began a tyrade against Bugs.
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''There's nobody more despicable than Bugs Bunny,'' he yelled. ''The
|
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common theme of denigrating authority, taking other people's property and
|
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generally being a culprit in destruction and mayhem is evident.''
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''I abhor the violence,'' he continued, ''because Bugs Bunny is actually a
|
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threat to civil order. In fact, he's outright seditious. Moreover, he
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makes the police look like idiots. What do you think it means when Elmer
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|
Fudd, who really represents law and order, attempts to level a shot gun at
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the rabbit and the rabbit shoves two carrots down the barrel. You know
|
|
what happens when Elmer pulls the trigger? A good Republican is made to
|
|
look like a fool, that's what!''
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|
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John Carman, a reporter for the S.F. Chronicle, commented that he didn't
|
|
know Elmer was a Republican. The whispered comment was heard by Quayle,
|
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who addressed the issue.
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''That's not the point,'' said Quayle. ''The point is family values are
|
|
under attack, as are society values and political values. That's not the
|
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sort of thing anybody, any law abiding American citizen, should be teaching
|
|
kids . . . I don't care how established, how profitable, and how legitimate
|
|
the business.''
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''I was only joking,'' said Carman.
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''It's no joke,'' replied Quayle, ''when you look at the pattern of things.
|
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Yosemite Sam, for example, another good, upstanding, law and order kind of
|
|
guy. Positive role model. But, what do you think happens whenever he has
|
|
a confrontation with the Bugs? The conspiracy is evident to even a casual
|
|
observer.''
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''The media has a bias,'' Quayle continued. ''It's a liberal establishment
|
|
favoring the Democrats. There's no doubt about that.''
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|
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''Prove it,'' a heckler shounted, ''you've got 4 more months.''
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''Clearly,'' Quayle yelled, ''Jerry Brown and the Democrats always comes
|
|
out on top. All you have to do is see how Sylvester fares when he attempts
|
|
to catch Tweety, that little affectedly effete yellow bird. Don't think
|
|
for a minute I don't know who Tweety is.''
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|
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Then Quayle, looking at the audience said, "You owe me, Bugs. You owe me!"
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I asked my 18 year old son what he made of all that.
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''I think Mr. Quayle still watches too much TV.''
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|
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Next Saturday morning, TV news crews will be in homes and bars around the
|
|
country filming and taping millions of Americans sitting down, staring at
|
|
their TV's, looking like they're looking at a god, transfixed, waiting to
|
|
see how the Road Runner, Bugs and Tweety will respond. Stay tooned!
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####===================================================================####
|
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A DEEPLY RELIGOUS TALE
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####===================================================================####
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((Chapter Five)))))))))))))))
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{As you may recall our hero had just gone into a dead faint when he
|
|
came to the realization that something weird was going down. As our story
|
|
opens, Wilberforce comes to his senses riding in the sidecar of a motorcycle
|
|
driven by a large burly man who smells of stale beer and onion rings.}
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|
|
"Where am I?" yelled Wilberforce rubbing his eyes trying to be heard
|
|
over the noise of the wind whistling by at 90 miles an hour. The diver did
|
|
not appear to hear him. So he tried again and had the same results. He then
|
|
looked around and noticed riding next to him Trixie and her husband, the
|
|
part time angel, part time computer consultant. Trixie smiled at him and
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waved, taking off her heart shaped sun glasses to get a better look at him.
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|
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Wilberforce waved feebly back as he was jounced back and forth in the
|
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side car into which he was wedged with three cases of beer. Our hero looked
|
|
around, trying to figure out his location. He noticed a sign that said his
|
|
home town was just ten miles away. He would be home soon and then have to
|
|
deal with the Hell's Angels running amuck in his house. If he only had
|
|
asked for those doberman pinschers instead of the zebra sofa in the divorce.
|
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That had been year ago and by now the dogs were probably dead. At least the
|
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couch was still in one piece. He wondered for a moment how one could take
|
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beer stains out of a zebra skin.
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Our hero sighed and sat back, trying to enjoy the ride since he could
|
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do nothing else, mulling over the events of the past few days and trying to
|
|
ignore the few stray cats and dogs the Angels ran over. He felt very
|
|
uncomfortable with these wildmen and women. One false move and he could be
|
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dead. He'd have to keep on Trixie's good side for that.
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It wasn't long before they arrived at Fredric's home. They had simply
|
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asked Wilberforce for directions and threatened to throw him out of the
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moving motorcycle if he didn't tell them.
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The horde of bikers roared up onto the front lawn spitting dirt and
|
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grass everywhere and badly scaring the grounds keeper who had been trimming
|
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the hedge.
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Inside they moved, tracking mud all over the artist's expensive
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carpets. Into the living room they went, to discover a man dressed in white
|
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robes sitting in an easy chair reading a magazine, smoking a pipe. Next to
|
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the chair rested a bull horn. The man looked up and quickly put down the
|
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magazine, picking the bull horn up with the other hand. He thumbed it on
|
|
and spoke. "Well Mr. Wilberforce I see you've made it back. Did you
|
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fulfill your quest with the help of this gang of ruffians?"
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|
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Wilberforce fainted.
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******************
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He came to on a lawn chair in the back yard. Next to him sat the
|
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divine messenger calmly smoking his pipe and doing a crossword puzzle. All
|
|
around him the bikers were doing normal biker type stuff. Someone had found
|
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a badminton set and a game was in progress.
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|
|
"Drink this," suggested the messenger handing the artist a tall glass
|
|
of ice tea. "Now sit up and tell me exactly what's been going on. You see
|
|
I've been a bit busy lately and haven't had a chance to check on you. After
|
|
all, we're a bit short when it come to help upstairs. The rise of t.v.
|
|
evangelism is doing us no good at all."
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|
|
It took the fat artist a few minutes to pull himself together before
|
|
he spoke. The messenger had sat calmly waiting, occasionally waving at one
|
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biker or another when they waved at him.
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|
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Finally Fred spoke, "Well nothing much really."
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|
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From inside a pocket on the messenger's flowing white robe an alarm
|
|
went off. The messenger shook his head and pulled out a small electronic
|
|
device with the word "Sony" printed on it.
|
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|
|
"Oh come on now, Mr. Wilberforce, something did happen. My lie detector
|
|
here says you are lying."
|
|
|
|
The artist's eyes bugged out at the sight of the device and he opened
|
|
and closed his mouth,not saying anything. The messenger,seeing this
|
|
reaction,handed him the lie detector so he could examine it.
|
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|
|
"We've managed to keep up with modern technology. No more burning
|
|
bushes for us. We use the latest scientific equipment. After all, we're
|
|
trying to save souls," explained the messenger. Fred examined the device
|
|
and handed it back.
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|
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"Okay,I'll tell you the truth. I'm no longer celibate. And I did it
|
|
with a married woman."
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|
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"Yes," said the messenger pulling out his little black book and
|
|
writing in it.
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|
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"I don't have to go on the quest now,right,since I'm not chaste any
|
|
more?" added Wilberforce hopefully.
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|
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"Wrong!" said the messenger.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
CHRISTIANS ARE BEING DUPED!
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|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Thu, 24 Sep 1992 01:49:43 -0400
|
|
From: Fawn Fitter <fsquared@eff.org>
|
|
Message-Id: <199209240549.AA16350@eff.org>
|
|
Subject: Here's a good one for Purps...
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|
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|
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>From: gisle@ifi.uio.no (Gisle Hannemyr)
|
|
>Subject: Re: CHRISTIANS ARE BEING DUPED!
|
|
>Date: Wed, 23 Sep 1992 21:58:50 GMT
|
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|
|
> From: gee@dciem.dciem.dnd.ca (Thomas Gee)
|
|
> Date: 23 Sep 92 14:14:48 GMT
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|
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> CHRISTIANS ARE BEING DUPED!
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|
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panic: dup christian in block 15540
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|
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> Most Christians would agree, and correctly so, that
|
|
> Jesus Christ was a perfect living Master, and a projection of
|
|
> God into the physical world, God Incarnate.
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|
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Ah! God dot world
|
|
JC = ------------- * world (Assuming world is in R^2)
|
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|world|^2
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|
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> First, Jesus Christ was NOT unique, John 3:16 NOTWITH-
|
|
> STANDING. There is ALWAYS at least one such perfect living
|
|
> Master (God Incarnate) PHYSICALLY ALIVE in this world AT ALL
|
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> TIMES, a continuous succession THROUGHOUT HISTORY, both
|
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> before and after the life of Jesus.
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So, if the incarnation is continuous, is it also differentiable?
|
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> The followers of some of these Masters founded the
|
|
> world's major religions, usually PERVERTING the teachings of
|
|
> their Master in the process. Christians, for example, added
|
|
> THREATS of "ETERNAL DAMNATION" in Hell, and DELETED the
|
|
> teaching of REincarnation.
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cat gospel hell | grep -v reincarnation > gospel ?
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|
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(Except this fancy newfangled shell that I'm using doesn't let
|
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me do this anymore.)
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> Secondly, and more importantly, after a particular
|
|
> Master physically dies and leaves this world, there is
|
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> NOTHING that He can do for ANYbody except for the relatively
|
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> few people that He INITIATED while He was still physically
|
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> alive.
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Ah, because only his children know their ppid?
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|
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> These things are similarly true for followers of most
|
|
> other major world religions, including Islam.
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|
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But not those who worship at the feet of UNIX! (Death to the VMS
|
|
infidels!)
|
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|
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> One such perfect Master alive today is an American, Sri
|
|
> Harold Klemp, the Living "Eck" Master or "Mahanta" for the
|
|
> "Eckankar" organization, now headquartered in Minneapolis,
|
|
> (P.O. Box 27300; zip 55427).
|
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|
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Please make your cheques out to .....
|
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|
|
> People would
|
|
> behave much better toward each other if they knew that their
|
|
> actions in the present will surely be reaped by them in the
|
|
> future, or in a FUTURE INCARNATION!
|
|
|
|
But if we didn't reap them, then they'd become zombies and just hang
|
|
around cluttering up kmem.
|
|
|
|
> PLANES OF EXISTENCE
|
|
|
|
Backplanes of existence?
|
|
|
|
> The physical universe is the LOWEST of AT LEAST a DOZEN
|
|
> major levels of existence. Above the Physical Plane is the
|
|
|
|
Data Link Plane
|
|
|
|
> Astral Plane, the Causal Plane, the Mental Plane, the Etheric
|
|
> Plane (often counted as the upper part of the Mental Plane),
|
|
> the Soul Plane, and several higher Spiritual Planes
|
|
|
|
Including the Network Plane, the Transport Plane, the Session Plane,
|
|
the Presentation Plane, and --- the final ecstasy --- the Application
|
|
Plane.
|
|
|
|
|
|
> It is likely that ESP, telepathy, astrological
|
|
> influences, radionic effects, biological transmutations [see
|
|
> the 1972 book with that title.], and other phenomena without
|
|
> an apparent physical origin,
|
|
|
|
including VDT radiation and the ability to remember the emacs
|
|
commands..
|
|
|
|
> SOUND CURRENT vs. BLIND FAITH
|
|
|
|
vi vs. emacs
|
|
|
|
> The "SOUND CURRENT" manifests differently for different
|
|
> Initiates, and can sound like a rushing wind, ocean waves on
|
|
> the sea shore, buzzing bees, higher-pitched buzzing sound,
|
|
> various heavenly music,
|
|
|
|
the Grateful Dead at 120 dB,
|
|
|
|
> or other sounds. In Eckankar,
|
|
> Members start hearing it near the end of their first year as
|
|
> a Member. [I am a 2nd Initiate in Eckankar, and well into my
|
|
> 5th year of Membership.] This and other experiences (such as
|
|
> "SOUL TRAVEL") REPLACE blind faith.
|
|
|
|
But when do you finally obtain emacs-competency? 8th initiate?
|
|
12th? Give me hope!
|
|
|
|
> UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
|
|
> IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
|
|
|
|
Well, perhaps slightly altered.
|
|
|
|
> Robert E. McElwaine
|
|
|
|
alt.religion.COMPUTERS, Bob. .COMPUTERS!
|
|
^^^^^^^^^^^
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Wed, 09 Sep 1992 18:17:34 EDT
|
|
From: "With a voice like hot baby-oil in a cold computer classroom..."
|
|
<hillv@kenyon.edu>
|
|
Subject: you know you missed me--
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
By the by,the letters in the phrase "Southern California" can be
|
|
rearranged to form :
|
|
|
|
"hot sun, or life in a car."
|
|
|
|
Just thought I'd share that with you.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
LETTERS
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
[The next couple are letters send out about new subscribers and such.]
|
|
|
|
Good good! We can always use more recruits! Make it required. Advise them
|
|
the IGHF needs money. Lots of money. Tell them where to send it!
|
|
|
|
Remember you will receive a commission for any money they send in the form
|
|
of some of that money being "donated" in your name. You'll go on the big
|
|
board there at IGHF central with all the good peoples names.
|
|
|
|
Mal
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
MORE LETTERS
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
>From: KENYON::DEBAECKEA 10-SEP-1992 16:17:19.13
|
|
>To: HILLV
|
|
>CC:
|
|
>Subj: Otis is calling...
|
|
>
|
|
>Hi!
|
|
>Well, this is your UCCling Andrew once again,
|
|
>just mailing to thank you for that wonderful piece of
|
|
>literary artistry known as PURPS. I would be eternally grateful
|
|
>if you would be so kind as to place me on the distribution list
|
|
>and thereby begin the long and winding trail for me as an Initiate.
|
|
>I can hardly wait to read some of your material. If your writing
|
|
>is half as good as your UCCing, I'm sure I'm in for a real treat.
|
|
>Catcha on the Flip Side,
|
|
>AGD
|
|
|
|
Blessed art thou for being so eager! You should rejoice having been
|
|
steered on the correct path to enlightenment by your advisor. Trust her
|
|
words, she is wise in the ways of many things and her contacts are many,
|
|
divine and mystical.
|
|
|
|
Ah but do not think of the trail to Initiation as long winding. For
|
|
enlightenment of this magnitude it is a very very very short path compared
|
|
to what other false religions offer. Take heart and soon you will be among
|
|
the chosen of Otis. [And if the trail still seems too long and winding
|
|
consider doing what the government does when it wants to deal with a long
|
|
and winding road. It invests money and soon the road becomes straight and
|
|
broad. This same philosophy can apply to Otis.]
|
|
|
|
Hail Otis
|
|
|
|
Mal
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
AND STILL MORE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
>Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 16:17:18 EDT
|
|
>From: wintera@kenyon.edu
|
|
>To: PETER@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
|
|
>Message-ID: <009609D1.9C6B7020.15567@kenyon.edu>
|
|
>Subject: Re: hmmmmm
|
|
>
|
|
>Well, I suppose I'll just have to settle on being blessed two-fold for now.
|
|
>Anyway, here's a lost yak I found wandering around in the bed next to mine who
|
|
>became jealous of the 'interesting' mail I'm receiving. His address is
|
|
>tackettm@kenyon.edu. Another lost yak just asked to be blessed as well. To
|
|
>reach him during his circumambulations, you may address him at
|
|
>jenkinp@kenyon.edu. May Otis bless him as well. Thanks be to Otis!!
|
|
>
|
|
> Andrew (Q.)
|
|
>
|
|
|
|
Ah you have done well so new to the cause and everything. Otis is one of
|
|
the great mysteries of the universe and happens to be the greatest mystery
|
|
of Kenyon. How else could you possibly meet the amazing Spode?
|
|
|
|
Keep up the good work. I suggest you get in contact with the Arch Bis. I'm
|
|
sure he can tell you of any upcoming activities and about the possibility
|
|
of the Pope's B-day appearance at Kenyon. Also be sure to ask about Bar
|
|
Trek.
|
|
|
|
Hail Otis!
|
|
|
|
Mal
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
ROCKET SAFETY CODE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 92 21:38:02 CDT
|
|
From: Reverend John <UC521832@MIZZOU1.missouri.edu>
|
|
Subject: hee hee
|
|
|
|
Date: Monday, 14 September 1992 6:23pm CT
|
|
From: BHeustess@utxvm.cc.utexas.edu
|
|
Subject: Model Rocket Safety Code
|
|
|
|
A friend got this list at World Con 50. It was produced by AFAN, Anything
|
|
for a Nickel (PO Box 95, Canal Pt, FL 33438). I hope you enjoy it. I know
|
|
that I did. I followed many of these rules myself when I was young.
|
|
|
|
AFAN Model Rocket Safety Code
|
|
|
|
1. Materials: My model rocket will be constructed only of the flimsiest and
|
|
most flammable material I can find. The nose cone shall be fitted with a
|
|
metal spike, sharpened to a fine point.
|
|
2. Motors: I will use homemade, untested moodel rocket motors constructed in
|
|
my basement from materials found in my toolshed, such as matchheads and old
|
|
blasting caps.
|
|
3. Recovery: I vow never to use a recovery system of any kind, as doing so
|
|
would deny me the pleasure of seeing panic-stricken spectators running in
|
|
terror from the plummeting projectile.
|
|
4. Weight and Power limits: My model rocket will use a motor at least ten
|
|
times more powerful than the manufacturer's reccomendation. Picture a Saturn
|
|
V engine in a Volkswagen.
|
|
5. Stability: I vow never to check the stability of my model rocket before
|
|
flight, and in fact will attempt to make my original designs as instable as
|
|
possible, enhancing thier recreational value.
|
|
6. Payloads: My model rocket will carry either the most flammable, explosive
|
|
payloads possible or live animals, or both.
|
|
7. Launch Site: I will launch my model rocket indoors whenever possible, or
|
|
failing that, will find a hospital parking lot or congested street corner in a
|
|
large urban area.
|
|
8. Launcher: I will use no launching device to guide my rocket into its flight
|
|
path. Instead, I will simply stand it on its tail fins in a pile of dry weeds
|
|
and dead grass and light the fuse.
|
|
9. Ignition Systems: I will use no ignition system except short lengths of
|
|
fuse or Bic lighters. Bystanders will be encouraged to stand as close as
|
|
possible to the launch in order to gain the full effect.
|
|
10. Launch Safety: I will never give up the element of surprise by alerting
|
|
bystanders to an impending launch with a countdown. My rocket's liftoff angle
|
|
shall be adjusted so that my rocket will impact a target of my choice,
|
|
possibly the aforementioned bystanders. If my rocket suffers a misfire, I
|
|
will encourage newcomers to pick up the rocket and look into the engine to see
|
|
what the problem is.
|
|
11. Flying Conditions: If possible, I will fly my rocket only when the
|
|
prevailing winds are blowing at more than 50 mph, creating more of a challenge
|
|
for the recovery team. If a low-flying plane enters the launch zone, I will
|
|
attempt to shoot it down for extra points.
|
|
12. Pre-Launch Test: When conducting research activities with unproven model
|
|
rocket designs or methods, I will, when possible, determine the reliability of
|
|
my model rocket by having a friend hold it while it is static fired. I will
|
|
conduct the launching of an unproven design in a state of total inebriation,
|
|
preferably at a Worldcon bid party.
|
|
13. Launch angle: At launch, my rocket will be pointed within 30 degrees of
|
|
horizontal, as higher angles make it extremely difficult to accurately target
|
|
plate glass windows.
|
|
14. Recovery Hazards: If a model rocket becomes entangled in a power line or
|
|
other dangerous place, I will not attempt to retrieve it. Instead I will ask
|
|
someone else to do so.
|
|
|
|
I can barely type this list. I laugh too much. I apologize for any typos,
|
|
they are my fault, not AFAN. Send me any additional rules or emendations to
|
|
these rules. I would love to hear them.
|
|
|
|
Brent Heustess
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
OTISIAN RITUAL
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
|
|
LIEBERE IV - The Star Pointing Backward
|
|
|
|
Let the Adept be armed with his Magick Toilet Plunger ( and provided with
|
|
his Mystic Bowling Towel (1)).
|
|
|
|
In the center(2), let him give the O.T.I.S. signs(3); or if he knows them,
|
|
if he will and dare do them, and can keep silent about them, the signs of
|
|
A.I.O.K.O being the signs of Plunge, Flush, Foam, Splash(4). Omit the sign
|
|
F.U.(5)
|
|
|
|
Then let him advance to the East and make the Holy Arrow(6), saying:
|
|
All Points in Space lead to Otodos.(8)
|
|
|
|
Let him go round to the South, make the Holy Arrow and say: Fill us
|
|
with your Light oh Otodos.(9)
|
|
|
|
Let him go round to the North, make the Holy Arrow and then say: I see the
|
|
Blue Light as it rises over the Horizon.(10)
|
|
|
|
Let him then return to the Centre, and so to The Centre of All ( making the
|
|
the Fourth Secret Sign as he may know how ) saying Otodos Otodos Otodos.(11)
|
|
(In this the Signs shall be those of Spode Triumphant and of Rotus. Also
|
|
shall Brow appear in the Circle. Let him drink of the Beer and let him
|
|
communicate the same.(12)) Then let him say whatever he wishes, though his
|
|
speech may be extremely garbled at this point.(13).
|
|
|
|
Go Out among the nonbelievers and have tea with them and dwell in their
|
|
houses in the usual fashion until such a time as they are drawn into the
|
|
fold.(14)
|
|
|
|
Let him then repeat the signs of O.T.I.S. but not the signs of B.-.B.: for
|
|
it is not he that shall arise in the Sign of Elbow Rejoicing.
|
|
|
|
NOTES:
|
|
|
|
1) The Magick Toilet Plunger is the Rod or Wand of the Initiate, in this
|
|
context the erect penis. The Mystic Bowling Towel is the Holy Grail or Cup
|
|
of the Priestess, ie, her vagina.
|
|
|
|
2) Of the circle.
|
|
|
|
3) See plate 3 - refers to a page in the transcripts of Akephalos of Cnidos
|
|
( Guild 1989 )
|
|
|
|
4) Rerevealed to Pope Cool after their loss of a thousand years.
|
|
|
|
5) Taken from the Song of Brow
|
|
|
|
6) See page 454 - again refers to the transcripts of Akephalos of Cnidos (
|
|
Guild 1989 ) Copies of this operation can be found in many other places
|
|
though, eg, IGHF Initiate Manual et al.
|
|
|
|
7) Perform the unmentionable rite than cannot appear in print.
|
|
|
|
8) Romans went on to steal this mystical phrase for use in advertising
|
|
their city.
|
|
|
|
9) The More Adept of the Priests may attempt to get a donation out of the
|
|
initiate at this time.
|
|
|
|
10) A perfect visualization is necessary for this step. The initiate must
|
|
actually see the Blue Light rising from the Horizon. As a last resort a set
|
|
of props consisting of a large globe of the earth and a blue light may be
|
|
used. At all costs the Initiate must see the light.
|
|
|
|
11) It is permitted to have musical accompaniment at this point.
|
|
|
|
12) Any old beer will do. The more the better.
|
|
|
|
13) Tape recordings are permitted at this point. A written transcript of
|
|
Brow's utterances MUST be sent immediately to the IGHF for verification and
|
|
Holy record keeping purposes.
|
|
|
|
14) It may be necessary to shout this statement several times so that Brow
|
|
will understand. In ancient times it was permitted to pin the instructions
|
|
to the lapel of Brow's sport coat with a gold pin.
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
THE SECRETS OF SCIENTOLOGY
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
[Just because we can't reveal our secrets to the masses does not me we
|
|
can't reveal other religions secrets.]
|
|
|
|
From: lindsay+@cs.cmu.edu (Donald Lindsay)
|
|
Subject: Xenu FAQ
|
|
Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1992 01:39:37 GMT
|
|
|
|
|
|
Apparently this material is part of OT III, "The Wall of Fire".
|
|
|
|
|
|
Subject: Attack of the Thetans from the Planet Teegeeach!
|
|
Date: 07 Nov 85 10:45:18 PST (Thu)
|
|
From: jef@lbl-rtsg.arpa
|
|
|
|
[from the Los Angeles Times, via the San Francisco Chronicle]
|
|
|
|
SCIENTOLOGISTS SCRAMBLE TO KEEP SECRETS
|
|
Los Angeles
|
|
|
|
Documents obtained by the Los Angeles Times show that the members of
|
|
the Church of Scientology believe that mankind's ills were caused by an
|
|
evil ruler named Xemu who lived 75 million years ago.
|
|
|
|
Scientologists have been trying to prevent the release of the
|
|
documents, which they consider secret and sacred, and about 1500 church
|
|
members crammed three floors of the Los Angeles County Courthouse on
|
|
Monday, effectively blocking public access to documents.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, the Los Angeles Times had already obtained access to the
|
|
documents, which were submitted as part of a civil case brought by former
|
|
Scientologist Larry Wollersheim, before lawyers for the Scientologists
|
|
requested they be sealed.
|
|
|
|
Wollersheim charges that the organization defrauded him by promising
|
|
him higher intelligence and greater business success through Scientology
|
|
courses that cost thousands of dollars.
|
|
|
|
In arguing to keep the court documents sealed, the church has told its
|
|
members that it could be physically and spiritually harmful for them to
|
|
learn about the upper levels of Scientology before they have mastered the
|
|
preparatory courses. Scientology attorneys have argued that disclosure of
|
|
the material violates the group's religous freedom.
|
|
|
|
Scientology is widely known for its use of "auditing", a form of
|
|
one-to-one counselling in which a lie-detector-like instrument called an
|
|
E-meter is used to help a person erase negative experiences, supposedly
|
|
freeing him to achieve his full potential.
|
|
|
|
The group bases its beliefs on the writings of L. Ron Hubbard, the
|
|
reclusive science-fiction author who in the early 1950's published the
|
|
best-seller "Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health."
|
|
|
|
What is rarely discussed, however, is Hubbard's secret teachings, which
|
|
disclose his thoughts on why mankind has been plagued by problems through
|
|
history, the topic of the disputed documents.
|
|
|
|
Generally, the documents suggest that a major cause of mankind's
|
|
problems began 75 million years ago, when the planet Earth, then called
|
|
Teegeeach, was part of a confederation of 90 planets under the leadership
|
|
of a tyrannical ruler named Xemu. Then, as now, the materials state, the
|
|
chief problem was overpopulation.
|
|
|
|
Xemu, the documents state, decided to take radical measures to overcome
|
|
the overpopulation problem. Beings were captured on Earth and on other
|
|
planets and flown to at least 10 volcanoes on Earth.
|
|
|
|
The documents state that H-bombs far more powerful than any in
|
|
existence today were dropped on the volcanoes, destroying the people but
|
|
freeing their spirits, called "thetans," which attached themselves to one
|
|
another in clusters.
|
|
|
|
After the nuclear explosions, according to the documents, the thetans
|
|
were trapped in a compound of frozen alcohol and glycol and, during a
|
|
36-day period, Xemu "implanted" in them the seeds of aberrant behavior for
|
|
generations to come. When people die, those clusters attach to to other
|
|
humans and keep perpetuating themselves.
|
|
|
|
Before a Scientologist can learn about thetans and how to eradicate
|
|
them, he must go through a progression of costly programs.
|
|
|
|
For hours on Monday, Scientologists swamped workers in the clerk's
|
|
office with hundreds of requests to photocopy the documents.
|
|
|
|
Superior Court Judge Alfred L. Margolis, over strong objections, had
|
|
issued an order Friday making the documents public at 9 a.m. Monday - on a
|
|
first-come, first-served basis.
|
|
|
|
Scientologists, by snaking the line through three courthouse hallways,
|
|
made sure that they were the only ones to buy copies of the materials.
|
|
|
|
Shortly before noon, Margolis, at the request of Scientology lawyers,
|
|
resealed the materials, pending a hearing later this week.
|
|
|
|
Jeff Pomerantz, a Scientology spokesman, said the strategy was intended
|
|
to "keep the materials secure ... Religion is not supposed to be
|
|
disseminated from the courtroom."
|
|
|
|
---
|
|
From: goehring@mentor.cc.purdue.edu (Scott Goehring)
|
|
Date: 17 Jan 92 14:42:58 GMT
|
|
|
|
[Excerpted from _L. Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman_, Bent Corydon, page
|
|
364. I have not edited this beyond word-wrapping it; any errors are
|
|
OmniScan's fault.]
|
|
|
|
The head of the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars
|
|
visible from here) (founded 95,000,000 years ago, very space opera) solved
|
|
overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet -- 178 billion on average) by
|
|
mass implanting.
|
|
|
|
He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb on
|
|
the principal volcanoes (incident 2) and then the Pacific ones were taken
|
|
in boxes to _Hawaii_ and the Atlantic area ones to _Las Palmas_ and there
|
|
"packaged."
|
|
|
|
His name was Xenu. He used renegades. Various misleading data by means of
|
|
circuits, etc., was placed in the implants.
|
|
|
|
When through with his crime, Loyal Officers (to the people) captured him
|
|
after six years of battle and put him in an electronic mountain trap where
|
|
he still is. "They" are gone. The place (Confed.) has since been a
|
|
desert.
|
|
|
|
The length and brutality of it all was such that this Confederation never
|
|
recovered. The implant is calculated to kill (by pneumonia, etc.) anyone
|
|
who attempts to solve it. This liability has been dispensed with by my
|
|
tech development.
|
|
|
|
One can _free wheel_ through the implant and die unless it is approached as
|
|
precisely outlined. The "free wheel" (auto running on and on) lasts too
|
|
long, denies sleep, etc., and one dies....
|
|
|
|
In December '67 I knew somebody had to take the plunge. I did and emerged
|
|
very knocked out but alive. Probably the only one ever to do so in
|
|
75,000,000 years. I have _all_ the data now but only that given here is
|
|
needful....
|
|
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
TROLLING FOR TAILLIGHTS
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Subject: [RHF: "Trolling for Taillights" Highway Game]
|
|
Date: Thu, 08 Oct 92 04:17:45 -0400
|
|
From: ""T.S. Davies"" <tsdavies@mailbox.syr.edu>
|
|
|
|
Date: Wed, 7 Oct 92 4:30:04 EDT
|
|
>From: jerbil@ultra.com (Joseph Beckenbach)
|
|
Subject: New Highway Travel Game
|
|
|
|
This has passed through several hands. The citation I have for it
|
|
is one John De Armond <jgd@dixie.com>, who appears to be one of the culprits.
|
|
|
|
------
|
|
Trolling for Taillights (and related Effluvia)
|
|
Draft 3.0 (05/25/92)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Introduction
|
|
|
|
Trolling For Taillights (TFT) is becoming one of America's fastest
|
|
growing highway participatory sports. It is loads of fun, requires
|
|
only modest equipment and achieves justice on the highway. And it is
|
|
Good Clean Fun (TM) at least until the target has to clean his
|
|
drawers.
|
|
|
|
TFT refers, of course, to the sport of communicating to other drivers
|
|
by stimulating their radar detectors and observing and recording their
|
|
responses. Only simple radio equipment is needed: an old microwave
|
|
burglar alarm will do fine. More sophisticated equipment such as a
|
|
Kustom KR-11 Instant On Moving Police Radar will yield better and more
|
|
consistent results. Nontheless $10 worth of Gunn Oscillator will
|
|
achieve quite adequate scores if the proper skills are practiced.
|
|
|
|
How it Works:
|
|
|
|
Think of RADAR as a Tractor Beam. It's a vector-subtraction ray, a
|
|
negative speed insertion device: If the target is ahead, it sucks them
|
|
back toward you; if they're behind, it pushes them away. One can also
|
|
think of it as a high-tech version of the American Indian game of
|
|
counting coup. In short, think of it as evolution in action, as in
|
|
Road Warrior.
|
|
|
|
Safety First:
|
|
|
|
Because the target of your trolling may react erratically, certain basic
|
|
safety rules are necessary.
|
|
|
|
* No trolling of vehicles with less than two car lengths of clearance
|
|
behind and in the lane to either side (if applicable.) This allows
|
|
for an Unindended Deceleration Transient (UDT.)
|
|
|
|
* No trolling of Texas Cadillacs (pickemup trucks.) with large dogs
|
|
standing on the toolbox. The dog might not like it.
|
|
|
|
* A minimum of 1/10 mile clearance between you and the target is
|
|
required if the target is placarded with any of the following:
|
|
|
|
"Flammable"
|
|
"Explosive"
|
|
"High Explosive"
|
|
"Radioactive"
|
|
"Nuclear Weapon" (2/10 mile for this one.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Special Awards:
|
|
|
|
It is desirable to recognize outstanding fishermen in our ranks.
|
|
Accordingly the following special award catagories are established:
|
|
|
|
* The Million Dollar Club - A million total points.
|
|
|
|
* The Kilobrake Trophy - Causing one thousand Brake applications.
|
|
|
|
* 1000 Points of Light - Causing the most simultaneous brake lights
|
|
in any one year.
|
|
|
|
* Worked All States (WAS) - Snagging a trophy catch originating from each
|
|
of the 50 states.
|
|
|
|
* Golden Jam Award - Causing the largest traffic jam as a result of
|
|
trolling WITHOUT involving a wreck in any one year.
|
|
|
|
If you think you qualify, contact the management for your award. Video
|
|
tape is highly recommended for scoring purposes and for documenting
|
|
when the cop mistakes your head for a baby Harp Seal.
|
|
|
|
Rules of Engagement:
|
|
|
|
Trolling posture
|
|
|
|
Proper trolling posture is in the right or next to right lane with
|
|
the Radar at the ready but out of sight and de-energized. Speed
|
|
should be at or slightly below the speed limit.
|
|
|
|
Eligible Targets
|
|
|
|
An eligible target is any vehicle that meets the above safety
|
|
specifications and has a radar detector.
|
|
|
|
Target Selection
|
|
|
|
A target proceeding at greater than 20 mph over the posted speed
|
|
limit is the most fertile in terms of variety of actions and
|
|
presents the best odds of winning Adders and Multipliers.
|
|
|
|
Firing techniques
|
|
|
|
Forward - Wait until the target is a few car lengths in front of you
|
|
and fire phasers. Best results are achieved if the Radar is
|
|
bounced off a sign or overpass ahead of both you and the target. It
|
|
is best to confine your range to that where you know your Radar
|
|
will cause the target's detector to go full scale.
|
|
|
|
Rear - Generally confined to eliminating Rear Bumper Dwellers because
|
|
of the difficulty in scoring, the best technique is known as the
|
|
Annie Oakley style. Simply lay the Radar across your shoulder and
|
|
fire. Since you are achieving line of sight contact with his
|
|
detector, the results are spectacular. The Tractor beam in action.
|
|
|
|
Setting up for Subsequent Shots:
|
|
|
|
If you have a target that appears to be fertile for a repeat multiplier,
|
|
the best technique is to wait a minute or two and then pass the
|
|
target. This encourages the target to resume trolling speed again.
|
|
Lead the target for awhile to build his confidence and then lift the
|
|
throttle and coast. Allow the target to pass you again and when
|
|
you achieve minimum clearance, fire again. Repeat Phasors coupled
|
|
with the vague recollection in the target's mind that you just
|
|
slowed way down will generally lead to spectacular trolling.
|
|
This technique can be use up to about 5 times (10 on yuppies and lawyers)
|
|
on a given target before he figures something's up. About the
|
|
4th or 5th shot is the optimum time to set the target up for
|
|
a nuke (see definition below.) The use of an intergalactic communicator
|
|
(CB) is vitally handy for assessing the conditions favorable
|
|
for nuking.
|
|
|
|
Special Techniques and Definitions:
|
|
|
|
These techniques have been found to produce better scores than shooting
|
|
for lone targets.
|
|
|
|
Nerd Herding: If you spot multiple cars equipped with radar detector, you
|
|
can herd them into a cluster by zapping them each time one tries to pass
|
|
another.
|
|
|
|
Wolf Pack: Played by two or more cars in convoy, communicating on an
|
|
obscure non-CB frequency: Wingman trails leader by about 1/2 mile,
|
|
spots targets and gives early warning to leader. Leader fires
|
|
rearward, hitting the marks with a strong head-on signal. Wingman
|
|
confirms hits. Leader and wingman try to see how many marks they
|
|
can herd between them.
|
|
|
|
Left Lane Bandit Blasting: This dual purpose technique yields good scores
|
|
and frequently busts up Left Lane Bandit clumps. This is the one
|
|
instance where clearance rules are relaxed. This is used
|
|
when the trolling vehicle is stuck behind a bunch of left-lane-bandits
|
|
proceeding side by side with geriatrics (real or premature) in the
|
|
more right lanes. If there are more than 3 or 4 cars in the clump,
|
|
odds are one vehicle will have a radar detector and will be driven
|
|
by a target who will respond to the troll even when going below the
|
|
speed limit. Also known as the Paranoid Factor. Technique is
|
|
to lift throttle (to give you some room) and firing into the
|
|
crowd. The inherent entropy introduced by the tractor beam
|
|
will tend to scatter the cars so that you can find a way through the
|
|
mess. You bust a left lane bandit and score at the same time.
|
|
Also known as "Bumper Cars."
|
|
|
|
Yuppy Puppy: Canine Critters, generally of a large/exotic/expensive breed
|
|
and always an utterly stupid, undisciplined monster.
|
|
|
|
Yuppy Larvae: Similar to Yuppy Puppy except of human origin. Generally
|
|
the result of her taking something seriously he poked at her in fun.
|
|
Also known, depending on context and age, as "accident", Yard Ape,
|
|
Busted Rubber, Curtain Climber or Precious. Personality characteristics
|
|
are almost identical to the Yuppy Puppy except that the Larvae is
|
|
louder and is generally allowed in restaurants and movie theaters
|
|
where they do maximum damage.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Scoring:
|
|
|
|
Scoring is done in accordance with the following table. This table
|
|
recognizes the added value of multiple hits on a given target and on the
|
|
difficulty inherent in getting multiple responses from one hit.
|
|
|
|
The easiest way to score is to get one of those handheld counting "clickers"
|
|
like are used by the gate keepers at the ballpark to count fans. This
|
|
is that chrome golf-ball sized orb that contains a mechanical counter and
|
|
a pushbutton that increments the count. Available from your local office
|
|
supply store for a nominal price. Scores can be kept in a log book
|
|
for submittal to the management. Winners (and L00zers) will be
|
|
recognized accordingly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Basic scoring: What the target does: Select all that apply and add.
|
|
|
|
Looks about, slows down = 1 point
|
|
Tail lights = 2 point
|
|
Hard braking = 3 points
|
|
Lane change = 3 points
|
|
Hides his radar detector = 4 points
|
|
Blue smoke from tires = 5 points
|
|
Hits an exit = 10 points
|
|
Turns off detector = 10 points.
|
|
Pulls over and fakes car trouble = 12 points
|
|
Hits median and goes the other way = 15 points
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bonus Adders: Add these bonus points to whatever you got above:
|
|
|
|
Fuzzy dice + 1 point
|
|
Suction Cup Garfield (or other critter) + 1 point
|
|
Was already below the speed limit + 2 points
|
|
Cellphone in use + 2 points
|
|
Radar detector has cord draped across dash + 2 points
|
|
Eating/drinking interrupted + 2 points
|
|
" " " , stuff spilled + 4 points
|
|
Audio hit * + 3 points
|
|
Yuppy puppy on board + 3 points
|
|
Yuppy larvae on board (see definitions) + 3 points
|
|
"" "" "" with sign announcing same + 5 points
|
|
Slapping of yuppy larvae interrupted + 4 points
|
|
Vanity tag + 5 points
|
|
CB ** see below
|
|
Makeup being applied + 6 points
|
|
Head to head hit (opposite direction) + 8 points
|
|
Bimbo (male or female) + 10 points
|
|
Sexual act interrupted + 15 points
|
|
Off-duty cop + 20 points
|
|
Fully dressed police cruiser + 30 points
|
|
Confirmed lawyer + 40 points
|
|
Lawyer w/vanity tag that says "Tort" + 50 points
|
|
|
|
* Audio hit - when you're close enough to hear the target's detector
|
|
alarming.
|
|
** CB radio. Take 5 points for initial report of your hit on CB radio
|
|
and 5 points for each 10 minutes it's talked about.
|
|
|
|
Just add 'em all up and then do the multiplier.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Multipliers: Take all that apply.
|
|
|
|
Each subsequent hit on a target X (count of hits on that target)
|
|
Yuppy scum X 2
|
|
BMW/Benz/Porche/Jap clone thereof X 3
|
|
Motorcycle X 5 (reflects rarity)
|
|
Yuppy puppy bus (minivan) X 4
|
|
Lo-riders, similar vehicles X 3
|
|
Junker X 2
|
|
Nuke * X 10
|
|
|
|
* "Nuke" is the term used when the target is baited into busting a
|
|
real radar trap. Ticket must be issued to count.
|
|
|
|
Penalty box: Subtract these points:
|
|
|
|
Target shoots back with single digit of the hand - 2 points
|
|
with radar - 5 points
|
|
with gun - 10 points
|
|
Caught for speeding while trolling - 10 points
|
|
Caught for more serious infraction while trolling - 15 points
|
|
Operating without a radio license - 20 points
|
|
Getting trolled by another competitor * - 20 points
|
|
Getting caught by the Phuzz without license - 25 points
|
|
Getting caught by Uncle Charlie without license - 30 points
|
|
Having trolling implement confiscated - 40 pts + disqual.
|
|
Caught for speeding by RADAR while trolling - 50 points
|
|
|
|
* Defined as responding as a target to another competitor's tractor beam.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
A DEEPLY RELIGOUS TALE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
((((((((((((((((((Chapter Six))))))))))))))))))))))))
|
|
|
|
{As our viewers may recall it seemed as if Wilberforce had managed to
|
|
get himself freed from his quest by breaking his "vow" of celibacy.However,
|
|
he found out that this was not the case. We join hour hero a split second
|
|
after he hears this news.}
|
|
|
|
Fred choked and gagged on the remains of his iced tea, spraying tea
|
|
all over the lawn and causing many of the drunken frolicking Angels to fall
|
|
over with laughter.
|
|
|
|
"But...." whimpered the artist, wiping himself off with a blue
|
|
cocktail napkin.
|
|
|
|
"You're still on the quest. It's just that since you, ah, let's say
|
|
strayed from the true path, things will get harder. Remember you need a
|
|
virtuous soul to accomplish this task."
|
|
|
|
"Me a virtuous soul?"
|
|
|
|
"Good material is hard to find. Beside our panel of experts felt you'd
|
|
make a great hero."
|
|
|
|
"Me a hero?"
|
|
|
|
"You sure are a hit with the women," said the messenger stirring his
|
|
ice tea and motioning with is bull horn over at Trixie who was sunning
|
|
herself on the lawn.
|
|
|
|
"But she's a married woman."
|
|
|
|
"Stranger things have happened."
|
|
|
|
"Well now what?"
|
|
|
|
"Well now that you've committed a sin you must do some other deed to
|
|
redeem yourself. However, since I can't think of a task for you now we'll
|
|
just opt for penance."
|
|
|
|
"Penance?" asked Wilberforce trying to get comfortable in his chair.
|
|
He felt more relieved now but annoyed over the fact that he was still on a
|
|
quest. Also the Angels were beginning to bother him. They had started
|
|
throwing sticks of dynamite into his kidney shaped pool and riding their
|
|
bikes all over his award winning garden. They'd also managed to guzzle much
|
|
of his wine cellar and had eaten most of the food in the house. All the
|
|
servants had quit and the police had been over earlier to check out what
|
|
was going on. However, the messenger had straighten things out by waving
|
|
some official looking C.I.A. documents under his nose.
|
|
|
|
"You have to get punished for sins. We could just have you wait until
|
|
you go to hell, but you see, you need a clean soul for this quest so we'll
|
|
have to get your penance out of the way now. Besides, as of late, Hell's
|
|
been rather busy. A lot of the sinner are complaining about the long lines.
|
|
Almost like going on a ride in Disneyland sometimes."
|
|
|
|
"So what's my punishment?" whimpered the fat artist shaking, as his
|
|
mind filled with visions on boiling acid and hot pokers.
|
|
|
|
"Well you'll have to wear this blinking bow tie for the rest of your
|
|
quest. And while you're away, a family of Chinese peasants will live here
|
|
on your estate," said the divine messenger putting his bullhorn down for a
|
|
moment to fish out a bright green bow tie covered with blinking Christmas
|
|
lights.
|
|
|
|
Overhead, a cargo plane flew. Out from it fell a large wooden crate
|
|
covered with Chinese characters and pictures of exploding fireworks. A
|
|
parachute opened from the crate. It eventually came to rest on the garage
|
|
room where it broke open and out tumbled a wad of Chinese peasants in an
|
|
assortment of sizes and ages. They immediately began to babble gibberish
|
|
and inspect the house. The Hell Angels had stopped what they were doing to
|
|
observe these strange events, giving the Chinese peasants a wide berth and
|
|
coming over to where the artist and the messenger sat.
|
|
|
|
"I'm supposed to wear that thing?" asked Wilberforce open mouthed,
|
|
eyeing the merrily blinking bow tie. "That's not going to match any of my
|
|
clothes."
|
|
|
|
"Well this is supposed to be a punishment."
|
|
|
|
"What about the peasants?"
|
|
|
|
"I'll give you the number of the local immigration office as soon as
|
|
you deliver the goods."
|
|
|
|
"What goods?" asked on of the more sober Angels picking his teeth with
|
|
a dirty thumb nail. Trixie came and sat on Fred's lap. Fred looked at the
|
|
messenger.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, don't worry about her anymore. You've already fouled up on that
|
|
test, you might as well enjoy it while you can. Or should I turn her into a
|
|
toad?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Fred, not quite understanding what was going on.
|
|
|
|
"Fred, you look very confused. Here let me explain it. It's very
|
|
simple. Now you slipped once, right? You're no longer celibate, right? And
|
|
now you've had your penance, right? So now you're clean and since we can't
|
|
really keep punishing you for the same thing over and over again you can
|
|
just keep up your sinful ways. You've already paid for that sin once. I
|
|
know it sounds contrary to what you've been taught, but I'm afraid with the
|
|
shoestring budge we're working on we can only punish you once for
|
|
something."
|
|
|
|
|
|
"What?" said everyone including the Hell's Angels.
|
|
|
|
"Now don't spread I told you around. It would ruin a lot of things."
|
|
|
|
"Spread what around?" asked an Angel scratching his head.
|
|
|
|
"Never mind. Just forget it. Fred, you have clearance from on high to
|
|
fool about with Trixie as much as you want. Okay, we'll leave it at that."
|
|
|
|
Fred smiled and then frowned and smiled again not know what to make of
|
|
what the messenger had just said. Trixie hugged him.
|
|
|
|
"Now about these goods?" started the leader.
|
|
|
|
"Gentlemen, didn't Fred tell you he was on a holy quest?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," murmured a few. One fell over, too drunk to stand up any more.
|
|
|
|
"Well if I tell you what 'the goods' are you'll have to go on the holy
|
|
quest."
|
|
|
|
"Does that mean we'll have to carry Scooby Do lunch boxes?" asked one.
|
|
|
|
"And what's this celibate business?" asked another.
|
|
|
|
"Look, I'll tell you what. I think I can bend the rule a little. You
|
|
won't have to do any of the silly namby pamby holy stuff Fred here has to
|
|
do. All you'll have to do is go on this quest."
|
|
|
|
The angels looked at each other not knowing what to think. The divine
|
|
messenger stood up. "I think I'll give you a few hours to think over my
|
|
proposal. Remember you'll be putting your lives on the line, but it's a
|
|
worthy cause. It will give you a chance to redeem your souls and besides
|
|
you might make it into the papers. Well I'm off now to take a bath. Back in
|
|
a few hours." With that the messenger faded out of existence leaving a
|
|
large group of very bewildered people.
|
|
|
|
Just as soon as the messenger was completely gone there was a loud
|
|
rustling in the bushes and out stepped the man in top and tails. A smile
|
|
was on his face and he carried a battered brief case.
|
|
|
|
"Before you say yes to that fat head's offer, maybe you'd better
|
|
listen to mine."
|
|
|
|
{And so we end another chapter here. Chances are the reader might be
|
|
extremely confused at this point so let's try to deconfuse you.}
|
|
|
|
1) You have to be celibate to go on a holy quest.
|
|
|
|
2) Fred was not celibate. He had to do penance to atone for his sins
|
|
so his soul could be clean again.
|
|
|
|
3) Fred then could mess about as much as he wanted with Trixie because
|
|
he has already atoned for his sin and he could not be punished for the same
|
|
sin twice (Office policy. See heavenly memo #12985689496079584/W ).
|
|
Normally you get punished for sins in Hell if you haven't confessed them
|
|
and done penance for them before. A murderer or some other foul sinner
|
|
usually doesn't go to church so he gets punished in hell. He things he's
|
|
getting punished for very sin but actually he's only being punished once.
|
|
Now if he does managed to confess and such and get penance on earth he
|
|
really only has to do this once and then he can go about his business and
|
|
do it again without fear of tainting his soul. However, this proved not to
|
|
be very profitable for the churches so they spread the rumor that you had
|
|
to atone for each misdeed.
|
|
|
|
4) The divine messenger is sort of in charge of watching over Fred and
|
|
the Hell's angles so if he forgets to record a sin then they don't get
|
|
punished for it. That's how he can bend the rules.
|
|
|
|
5) Besides it makes the story a lot more interesting.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
--Subink 1992 [Special thanks to Lulu for Proofreading.]
|