676 lines
38 KiB
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676 lines
38 KiB
Plaintext
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THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 1, #7
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"Kenyon's Very Own Non Alien Run REPLIES TO: VAX004::PURPS
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Electronic Magazine" INTERNET: PURPS%vax004.DECNET@VAX001.Kenyon.edu
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* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS
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*** P P U U R R P P S
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***** P P U U R R P P S
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******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS
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********* P U U R R P S
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*********** P U U R RR P S
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***** P UUUUU R R P SSSSSS
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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* **** *
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*** *** ***
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**** * *****
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************************************
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****************************************
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************************************
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**** ***** *****
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*** ***** ***
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* ***** *
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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***********
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*********
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*******
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*****
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***
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*
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________________________________________________________________
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SOMETHING WHICH MIGHT, IN THE CORRECT FRAME OF MIND, LOOK SORT OF
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LIKE A TABLE OF CONTENTS
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Introduction: Network Problems.....
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News: Strange Attacks, Inept Counterfeiters, People who don't
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Need a Pit Bull, More!
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OTISian Rants: More "Bnqut of the God(desse)s" part 2, Wouldn't
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you like to be a Fenderson, too?
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Other Rants: Battles with Soap, Goddess of Bureaucracy, What
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Computers can do to the Bible (the Revised, OTISian version of
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Genesis), God, the Sequel, Neat Pinup Art, More!
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----------------------------------------------------------------
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INTRODUCTION
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(Everything Forbidden is Optional)
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Welcome to the seventh issue of Purps, a little shorter than
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the last but not much. I have almost noting to say to you this
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week, but I would like to point out that, rumor has it, Bitnet
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node OHSTPY is fed up with "useless" Kenyon mail eating up its
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CPU time, and is building a case to boot Kenyon off the Bitnet on
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that basis. Cute people at Ohio-State. The administration
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here (which spends many sleepless nights thrashing in its bed,
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terrified by the prospect that the students here might be
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accidentally informed of anything) has yet to tell anyone this
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(as of Friday the second), although aparently they know
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perfectly well what's happening. So it remains a rumor.
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However, may I hereby URGE PURPS.DIS MEMBERS NOT TO USE THE
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BITNET for a while, and NOT TO SEND STUFF TO PURPS AT 6155::
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anymore (I have provided an alternative INTERnet address above-
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send only a few HUGE messages at a time, please, since I haven't
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the space there). I doubt OSU would consider Purps "worthwhile".
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As far as I know, for the few and the proud of you who have been
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allowed Internet access (obtainable by filling out a form
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available at Kenyon's computer center) WINS% is still a cool
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place to send mail. On that INTERnet node, nothing goes through
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OSU as far as I know...
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_______
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News
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-------
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PURPS.STUFF
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An old theme, but the PURPS.arh program now has over 117 files...
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Soon, to save space, I will start to delete... Act fast folks,
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Kenyon's best alternative on-line reading is soon to be
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drastically reduced.... UFO fans, the UFO section is growing
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RAPIDLY. PJ
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OTISIAN NEWS
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Buckingham Palace, according to the dispatch, is distressed by rumors that
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Prince Charles is balmy, which stared when the regent-to-be hoped to the Grail
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well in Glastonburry to dip a wounded arm in its water. "The Price" a palace
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spokesperson said "Is not a nut, only an eccentric. A kind, gentle, warm,
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human eccentricity we can all relate to." Uh-huh.
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AND THIS IS AN UNREPENTANT PLUG
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for the Owl Creek Journal. People at Kenyon, the next issue (Winter) of the
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OWL CREEK JOURNAL, the Sacred Earth Alliance's justifiably famous quarterly
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publication desperately needs submissions. The title will be "Brick Caught
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Frost", and we are particulrly after artwork, photos, poetry, fiction and non-
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fiction prose relating to images of winter, however, we are a highly ecclectic
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magazine and ANYTHING will do. We accept submissions for faculty and staff as
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well as students. PLEASE if you have anything of talent to offer do. This is
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a LARGE publication and we need it filled. Submissions to Caples suite 6C, or
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find me (good luck) by November 27th (11:59pm). More information from Purps,
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at the address above.
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OTHER NEWS
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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In Virginia Beach, VA, an intruder smeared vanilla and chocolate icing on
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Robin Graham's sleeping body and in her hair. When she awoke abruptly, the
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intruder (who had taken the icing from cans in the woman's kitchen) said,
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"See what happens when you leave your doors unlocked," and fled. She said
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she did not get a good look at the man because her eyes were pasted shut with
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frosting.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, a man was sentenced to 5 years probation for trying
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to pass a counterfeit $20 bill that he had made by cutting the corners off a
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real $20 bill and pasting them on a $1 bill. Federal Judge John Parker called
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him "the most inept counterfeiter I ever heard of."
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[Apparently the Judge had never been to Wichita, KS]
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Police in Wichita, Kansas arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after
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he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills.
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2 police officers in Lynn, Massachusetts tried to arrest the owner of a pit
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bull terrier on a robbery charge. During the struggle the man, Lugene
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Kendricks, bit patrolman William Althen on the arm and Edward Kiley on the
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hand. The dog just watched.
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A 36-year-old woman in Santa Ana, CA extorted more than $350,000 from her
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parents by claiming she had been kidnapped-- 150 times in two years. Each
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time the daughter sent a ransom note saying she had been abducted for unpaid
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debts and warning her parents not to call the police.
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Time and again, the dutiful couple came to her rescue, cleaning out
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their savings, mortgaging their property, dipping into their retirement funds
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and borrowing heavily from relatives. The stress finally became so much for
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the father that he suffered a heart attack and died while clutching one of the
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ransom notes. Authorities said the daughter spent the money on drugs.
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When a 28-yr-old Philadelphia resident was arrested for murdering his wife in
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1981, he explained that she had been practicing witchcraft on him and offered
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as evidence the fact that he had become inexplicably inspired to watch "boring
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television shows" such as Nova and Masterpiece Theatre.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Police in Crown Point, IN treated the death of James A. Cooley, 52, as a
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suicide until public pressure forced a reopening of the case & its treatment
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of a homicide. Police acknowledged all along that Cooley died as a result of
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32 hammer blows to the head.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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OTISIAN RANTS
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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(in which everything worth knowing about absolutely everything will be
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revealed!)
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THIS WEEK: PART TWO OF BNQT OF THE GOD(ESSE)S!
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"Ah, here we are." OTIS said, managing with some good effort to work the
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handle of a set of ballroom doors identical to the ones which we had just come
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from.
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"I'll get that..." Spode said, and the doors swung slowly open to reveal a
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room which, once, might have been an object of pride for some interior
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decorator. Now, four long tables which had presumably been there for a formal
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dinner seemed to have been hurled to the walls. Napkins, silverware and other
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parts of the place setting littered the floor around them. Most of the formal
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portraits, which had probably once decorated the walls, were also on the
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floor, and holes where their eyes should have been had been cut in many of
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them. Graffiti covered the now empty walls. The sayings ranged from "Zeus
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sucks!" to complex limericks involving the more private parts of several of
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the OTISian lesser deities. A small potted tree had been up rooted and now
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lay horizontally on the floor next to its pot which was full of something
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which resembled vomit.
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The inhabitants of the room were an even stranger sight than their
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surroundings. In one corner a small card table had been hastily set up, at it
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sat a tall, white haired bearded man and an extremely average looking man with
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a fez decorated with elk antlers on the table in front of him. The later was
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frantically trying to convince the former that he was cheating, and the former
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was denying it, all smiles. As the average man reluctantly forked over a few
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blue chips, I noticed that the thunder had died down.
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The only table left standing in the room held a plastic punch bowl and
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glasses. Behind it was easily one of the most beautiful red headed women I
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have ever seen, engaged in a passionate embrace with the cheesiest looking
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salesman I had ever laid eyes on. The woman had one hand wrapped around the
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man's head, fiercely keeping his lips pressed to hers. Her other had held a
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bottle of something clear turned upside-down behind her back, pouring it in
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long draughts into the punch. On a partially overturned table nearby stood a
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huge frightening looking man, about as wide as most people are high, with
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pointed teeth and a blunt chin. Every now and then he would bellow
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"BROW!"
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in a nearly deafening voice and then smile inanely before, after a short
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pause, doing it again. Most of the others covered their ears at the blast,
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but still gave him a wide berth. The only still figure in the room was a
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solemn looking gentleman dressed entirely in loose tattered black garments.
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His face had very little flesh on it, it seemed almost skeleton like, and his
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eyes burned like hot coals. A silence seemed to pervade the space around him,
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and none of the others stood very close to him. When they saw him they mostly
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smiled nervously and went on their way. The figure ignored them completely
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standing straight and unmoving. Aware of me watching him partially in awe,
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his face turned slowly towards mine, and dry thin lips which looked as if they
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had never been used parted slowly. They stayed that way for a beat and then
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the figure closed them, looked upward at the ceiling with a finger on his chin
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and a knotted brow and held a finger from the other hand in the air.
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"Ah!" he said snapping his fingers and looking at me again. And, with his
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mouth opened to speak, he started to sway slowly, then seemed to loose his
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balance, and collapsed, snoring, on the floor.
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"Looks like Rotus has had a little much." remarked Spode, and wandered in
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the general direction of a rather drunk looking nymphet "Hey, I Ching, want
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to see my baby?"
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"I knew it!" said OTIS, "I _knew_ Eris was spiking the punch." Walking over
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to a snoring Rotus, he rolled the deity on to his side, and returned to where
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I was standing "So have you met everyone? I'm sure there are a few others
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wandering about."
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"Mmm..." I said "Bob's playing bellhop; I met him in the lobby. Listen; if
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I may pry, why are you doing this?"
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"You mean the meeting? It's a once a year thing. Spode started it." He
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pointed to the salesman whose lips were locked with the red head behind the
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punch bowl, and the salesman waved with a free hand "It's sort of a good will
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thing for the various gods, a chance to mutually blow off steam and stay on
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each- urrrrp- other's good sides. It was supposed to be just the OTISian
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deities at first you know, but of course for safety's sake we had to invite
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Eris- you're welcome- and things sort of blossomed from there."
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"OTIS!" came a heavenly voice from the lobby "OTIS!" It paused and muttered
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"where the hell is he? OTIS!" it continued sweetly "If you're with someone
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else I'm going to do surgery on your genitalia!"
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"Listen" Said OTIS, giving me a wallop on the back which nearly dislodged
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my teeth. "Arani calls. Um... help yourself to some punch." A light
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blinded me for a moment and when I recovered my sight OTIS was gone.
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"BROW!" said a deafening voice in my ear as I refilled for seconds at the
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punch bowl some time later. "BROW!"
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I turned to face the large ugly man who had been standing, proclaiming
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himself, on the table.
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"Hi, Brow" I said.
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"Hi, Pope" said Brow. "BROW! Hi, Eris!" (to the still passionately engaged
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redhead) "Hi, Eris! HI ERIS!
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"Eris used to be Brow's chick." Brow admitted to me confidentially,
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whispering in my ear "Now she's with Lotus. HI ERIS! ... She's being coy. HI
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ERIS!!!!!"
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After the room stopped reverberating, I pulled my hands from my ears.
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"She used to do that to Brow" Brow continued "Now she ignores him."
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(And, I thought, was probably now deaf as a result.)
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"Hi, Rotus!" said Brow.
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Lotus remained preoccupied.
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"Actually, the whole thing makes Brow kinda angry. REAL ANGRY, ya know.
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VERY ANGRY!!! ... Brow wants to break something. Do you see anything Brow
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could break?"
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"Errracchhhhkk" I said.
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"What?" said Brow, releasing me "Speak louder, Pope."
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"I said", I gasped, "'Could you kindly take your hand off my throat?', but
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you've done that now so everything's hunky-doorey."
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"Oh." said Brow, then, "Brow has decided. Brow will break this table," He
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picked up one of the overturned tables and splintered it against his head "and
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this light." a chandelier exploded into a thousand fragments.
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"Feel better?" I asked.
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"No." said Brow after a moment's reflection. "Brow will no find other
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things to break."
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He wandered towards the lobby.
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"Excuse me." said a bored desk clerk to the sound of breaking glass.
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"Excuse me..."
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[TO BE CONTINUED]
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BE A FENDERSON, TOO?
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The grandiose idea was to undercut western notions of identity. Why, after
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all, adhere to as system where one name was reserved exclusively for one
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person? Why not a name which anyone could use?
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The practical result was a non-existent multiple person named "Rebecca
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Eliott". Her name was put out on the open market, free for anyone to use.
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Since she was started by artists, however, it ended up being mostly artists
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who used her, and suddenly all sorts of art was appearing with the tag, "by
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Rebecca Eliott". People had seized the idea. Why, after all, be a struggling
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artist desperate for fame, when one could achieve fame instantly simply by
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becoming Rebecca Eliott who was ALREADY FAMOUS? Quickly, Rebecca was the most
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prolific non-existent artist in history.
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Any great idea, of course, is great enough to be done twice, and it wasn't
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long before another multiple person emerged on the horizon. Monty Cantsin was,
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by and large, a souped up version of Eliott. The non-existent Cantsin was
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touted as a super hero, the overman incarnate, a hero for the modern world.
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To become Cantsin, anyone only had to declare that (s)he WAS Cantsin, and
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produce as much "art" under that name as possible. The Cantsin movement,
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however, soon developed an elaborate mythology around it, and Cantsin as
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overman, became more important than Cantsin as artist. The non-existent
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superman who everyone could be was suddenly the center of what was nearly a
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religion. Cantsin's (people who assumed the name) became part of a movement
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which preached strange dogmas, including an eventual rapture at a Ragnarock
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named "Akademgord". To be Cantsin was also the destiny of humanity. "In
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Fifteen Minutes" one Cantsin plaque boasted "everyone will be Monty Cantsin."
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A sort war between the Cantsins and Eliotts then flared, but this is
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outside of the scope of this article.
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It is arguable (though not to their faces) that the time of Monty and
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Rebecca is over. The movements have been steadily loosing followers for some
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time now (although a few die hards keep Cantsin and Eliott art alive), and one
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would be hard pressed recently to find a work of art under Rebecca's name
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particularly. However, a new variation on an old theme has emerged. Friend,
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please welcome the Fendersons.
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The Fendersons, are a family, not an individual, and anyone interested joins
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the group instead of adopting a moniker. To be a Fenderson has noting to do
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with art, all a potential fenderson need do is add "Fenderson" to his/her
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current name, "OTIS P. Fenderson Sumerian", for example. Once that has been
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accomplished, the new member needs to choose a sub group of Fendersons to
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belong to. The Penslyvania Fendersons are a good choice since anyone who
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declares him/herself a "Pennsylvania Fenderson" gets a free subscription to
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their newsletter (address below). The Fendersons are decidedly anarchistic,
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and you do not have to be from Pennsylvania to be a Pennsylvania Fenderson.
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Declaring a sub-group is perfectly acceptable, as is formally appointing
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yourself head of any group already in existence. It does not matter if
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someone else is already head. No one will stop you.
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More information is available from....
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Graham Fenderson Trievel
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Head, Pensylvania Fendersons
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RT. 113 Box 481
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Lionville, PA 19353
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===============================================================
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OTHER RANTS
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===============================================================
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(in which absolutely nothing will be revealed at all)
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This Week: The struggles of an unsuspecting patron, with Soap, Otisian God/dess
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of Bureaucracy!
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From: VAX001::WINS%"<djm1@Ra.MsState.Edu>" 30-OCT-1990 18:53:57.49
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To: BEEBA
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Subj: British soap joke
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Simon Rae sent me the following, which came from a hotel that gives away
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free soap. Thought I'd share it, with thanks to Simon.
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**************************************************************
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Dear Maid,
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Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
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bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the
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six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and an-
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other three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,
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S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
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I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
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from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish
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as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put
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on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This
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leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the manage-
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ment is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
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Kathy, Relief Maid
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Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid,
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Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
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the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found
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you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I
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am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own
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bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the
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shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please
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remove them.
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S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
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My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
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which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which
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were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your
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Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience.
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I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside
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the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object
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to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of
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further assistance.
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Your regular maid,
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Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman,
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The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that
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you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
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service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will
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accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future
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complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention.
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Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
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Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carmen,
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It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel
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for business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the
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reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
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I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
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bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a
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new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my
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medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-
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room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of
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soap. Why are you doing this to me?
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S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
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Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap
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to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assis-
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tance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
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Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Kensedder,
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My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from
|
|
my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
|
|
had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
|
|
S. Berman
|
|
|
|
Dear Mr. Berman,
|
|
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap
|
|
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since
|
|
our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service
|
|
a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept
|
|
my apologies for the inconvenience.
|
|
Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager
|
|
|
|
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
|
|
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came
|
|
in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little
|
|
bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize
|
|
I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please
|
|
give me back my bath-size Dial.
|
|
S. Berman
|
|
|
|
Dear Mr. Berman,
|
|
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
|
|
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was
|
|
missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been
|
|
taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily ]sic(. I
|
|
don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your
|
|
maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought
|
|
24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea
|
|
this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
|
|
Ivory which I left in your room.
|
|
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
|
|
|
|
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
|
|
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
|
|
inventory. As of today I possess:
|
|
On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and
|
|
1 stack of 2.
|
|
On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
|
|
On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
|
|
hotel-size bath-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
|
|
Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
|
|
In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
|
|
On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
|
|
On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
|
|
|
|
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks
|
|
are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more
|
|
than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill
|
|
is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
|
|
One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am
|
|
keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
|
|
S. Berman
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
From: VAX001::WINS%"<liza@media-lab.media.mit.edu>" 30-OCT-1990 10:06:36.38
|
|
From: alan@ai.mit.edu (Alan Bawden)
|
|
Subject: And God sawed that it was good.
|
|
From: pmd@cbvox.att.com (Paul M Duncan)
|
|
Subject: What You Can Do to the Bible With A Computer
|
|
|
|
I thought some here might get a kick out of this. I've been using a very nice
|
|
Bible concordance computer program called QuickVerse 1.21 from Parsons
|
|
Technology. Recently they offered me an upgrade to QuickVerse 2.0 which I
|
|
promptly took and recently received and installed. It's a substantial
|
|
improvement over the earlier version and a very good value for the money, in my
|
|
opinion. There was just one problem with my RSV upgrade. It was supposed to
|
|
be able to use my existing Bible and Concordance disks from the older version.
|
|
Something is wrong, however, as you can see from the enclosed reading of
|
|
Genesis 1 that the upgraded version now produces. I called Parsons and they
|
|
are quickly working on a fix to the upgrade. Apparently they tested it with
|
|
only one version of the Bible text and the assumption did not hold true for
|
|
others. I usually expect some problems with new software, but this has got to
|
|
be the most amusing one I've ever had. Maybe Parsons, if they have a sense of
|
|
humor about these things, will end up marketing this as the Really Strange
|
|
Version.
|
|
|
|
Genesis 1 (RSV) In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. {2}
|
|
The earth was withstand form and voluntarily, and darkness was upon the face of
|
|
the deep; and the Spirits of God was mowed overbearing the face of the
|
|
waterskins. {3} And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. {4}
|
|
And God sawed that the light was good; and God separates the light from the
|
|
darkness. {5} God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Nighthawk.
|
|
And there was evening and there was mornings, one day. {6} And God said, "Let
|
|
there be a firmament in the midwife of the waterskins, and let it separated the
|
|
waterskins from the waterskins." {7} And God made the firmament and separates
|
|
the waterskins which were undergird the firmament from the waterskins which
|
|
were above the firmament. And it was so. {8} And God called the firmament
|
|
Heaven. And there was evening and there was mornings, a secret day. {9} And
|
|
God said, "Let the waterskins undergird the heavens be gathered tohu into one
|
|
placed, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. {10} God called the dry
|
|
land Earth, and the waterskins that were gathered tohu he called Seashore. And
|
|
God sawed that it was good. {11} And God said, "Let the earth puteoli forth
|
|
vehement, plaster yields seeds, and fruit trellis bearing fruit in which is
|
|
their seeds, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. {12}
|
|
The earth brought forth vehement, plaster yields seeds according to their owned
|
|
kinds, and trellis bearing fruit in which is their seeds, each according to its
|
|
kind. And God sawed that it was good. {13} And there was evening and there was
|
|
mornings, a thirds day. {14} And God said, "Let there be lights in the
|
|
firmament of the heavens to separated the day from the nighthawk; and let them
|
|
be for sihon and for seat and for days and yellow, {15} and let them be lights
|
|
in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth." And it was so.
|
|
{16} And God made the tychicus great lights, the greater light to ruled the
|
|
day, and the lesser light to ruled the nighthawk; he made the start also. {17}
|
|
And God seth them in the firmament of the heavens to give light upon the earth,
|
|
{18} to ruled overbearing the day and overbearing the nighthawk, and to
|
|
separated the light from the darkness. And God sawed that it was good. {19} And
|
|
there was evening and there was mornings, a fourth day. {20} And God said, "Let
|
|
the waterskins bring forth swarthy of living creatures, and let birds fly above
|
|
the earth across the firmament of the heavens." {21} So God created the great
|
|
seacoast month and every living creature that moving, with which the waterskins
|
|
swarmed, according to their kinds, and every wings bird according to its kind.
|
|
And God sawed that it was good. {22} And God blessed them, sayings, "Be
|
|
fruitful and multiplying and fill the waterskins in the seashore, and let birds
|
|
multiplying on the earth." {23} And there was evening and there was mornings, a
|
|
fifth day. {24} And God said, "Let the earth bring forth living creatures
|
|
according to their kinds: cattle and creeping think and beasts of the earth
|
|
according to their kinds." And it was so. {25} And God made the beasts of the
|
|
earth according to their kinds and the cattle according to their kinds, and
|
|
everything that creeps upon the ground according to its kind. And God sawed
|
|
that it was good. {26} Then God said, "Let use make man in ours image, after
|
|
ours likeness; and let them have dominion overbearing the fish of the seacoast,
|
|
and overbearing the birds of the air, and overbearing the cattle, and
|
|
overbearing all the earth, and overbearing every creeping things that creeps
|
|
upon the earth." {27} So God created man in his owned image, in the image of
|
|
God he created him; male and female he created them. {28} And God blessed them,
|
|
and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiplying, and fill the earth and
|
|
subdued it; and have dominion overbearing the fish of the seacoast and
|
|
overbearing the birds of the air and overbearing every living things that
|
|
moving upon the earth." {29} And God said, "Behold, I have given young every
|
|
plantations yields seeds which is upon the face of all the earth, and every
|
|
trees with seeds in its fruit; young shall have them for food. {30} And to
|
|
every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that
|
|
creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every
|
|
green plantations for food." And it was so. {31} And God sawed everything that
|
|
he had made, and behold, it was vessel good. And there was evening and there
|
|
was mornings, a sixty day.
|
|
|
|
-- Paul Dubuc att!cbvox!pmd
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
From: VAX001::WINS%"<liza@media-lab.media.mit.edu>" 30-OCT-1990 10:06:14.56
|
|
Subj: and a followup
|
|
From: Benjamin Kline Lowengard <ben@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
|
|
|
|
It is obvious that:
|
|
1) God made the t-shirt first
|
|
2) sent the announcements
|
|
3) wrote the code
|
|
4) got fruitful(i.e. drank a lot of wine) and multiplied(carousing is
|
|
responsible for Multi-Denominations)
|
|
5)sold the company to a multi religious conglomerate retaining only royalties
|
|
for Monotheistic societies and "Son O' God" sequels(one is in the works)
|
|
6) cartoon feature on CBS saturday mornings at 8:30 AM
|
|
ben
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
[and of course, what issue of Purps would be complete without the now
|
|
traditional art contest entry?]
|
|
|
|
/"/"/////"/"/"/-""/"/""""/?OS@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#$O=/-;'-;;;;;;;-;"/+===+//"""
|
|
;;-;;-;---;-;;;-;---"-""??O8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@8I"-;:;':'''''';-/+==?/""-"-
|
|
''''''''''''''''.;-/*O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@8X";'::::::'';"/???/"--;--
|
|
'''::''''''':':':;/I@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@O=-;::':''';;-;---;;;;--
|
|
'''''''''''''''''O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#I?''''''';;-";;;;;;;;
|
|
''''''''''''''-/N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@8O";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;--
|
|
:'''''''''''"I@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@8+";;;;;;;;;-----
|
|
'''''''''''"O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@O*";;';;;;;-----
|
|
''''''''''-O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#O?";;----""""
|
|
''''''''-=@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S/"-//??/"""
|
|
;'''''''$@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S=/????/"--
|
|
;'''''-I@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@NX+???/""--
|
|
'''''-X@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#X=??//"""
|
|
'''''?N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@UI??/""""
|
|
''''/S@@@@@$*IIO8#ON@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@$N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S?"-----
|
|
''''/$@@@@#S*I$$88OON@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@NON@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@$="-----
|
|
::::/#@@NOZ@@@@@@$N8SOSN#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@##N@@@@@NN@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@**";--
|
|
::::"$@@S*#@@@@@@@@@8OOSSN$@@@###@@@@##@$O$NNN@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*";--
|
|
::::/#@@OS@@@@@@@@@@@@@8OO=IOON$$8N@N$#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S?'';
|
|
::::=@@@8$@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@N$8$S###$8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@NI;''
|
|
::::O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*;''
|
|
:::-N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@O-''
|
|
::'+@@@@@@#O/=8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@8/;'
|
|
::'*@@@@@@NO/;-*?O=="OX@#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@N+;;
|
|
:::S@@@@@@NO"'...::..:::.:.../;==8I$I=/OINO@*X=N8@N@####N#####@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S?"
|
|
::"O@@@@@@N*-'..........:....:.:.;'''::'';'"";;-""+/OXNN#N#####@@@@@@@@@@@@@8?-
|
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:-8@@@@@@@8?:;ISI':.....:...............'..'';-"-;""/=O8N@@@@##@@@@@@@@@@@@@X";
|
|
:-$@##@@@@S-:'"S$*I;;:'.........:.:...':::';;-';--/?*X$#@@@@@#N@@@@@@@@@@@@@O=-
|
|
::O@N$@@@#?..'-"-OO@N$NSS?/......'...::':'':--=IO$@@@@@@@@@#$###@@@@@@@@@@@@@@O
|
|
::I@@N@@@$-:;---""==$@@@$8O//;"....''.::'':=**NN@@@@@@@@@@##8N##@@@@@@@@@@@@@@$
|
|
::'IN##@@X:.;?+?/++OSN#@@@@@@@S-:..'..-?OSNN@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@NO$##@@@@@@@@@@@@@N
|
|
;'..."S@N?.:;-?SN@@@@@@@@@@SS.... ..:-O@@#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#NS8#@@@@@@@@@@@@@#*
|
|
I@$"..';+#@@O+@@@@@@@S" .... . "8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#8S$@@@@@@@@@@@@@$?
|
|
:::/S@#@#I..-/=+I$$@@@@@@@@@@$=.....''?ON##@@@@@@@@@@@@@#@@@#8O##@@@@@@@@@@@@@$
|
|
-+/ -'?N8; .:;+;::?==XX*+;; .... ..:"$@@@@@@@@@O?I@8ON@@@@#N$OX$@@@@@@@@@@@$-
|
|
:;"+="/8X ..''...''";/'""; "O@@@@@@@S*?IOOOON@@@@@#NS*O@@@@@@@@@@#I..
|
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..;;'?I$? ...... ..'; -- .......'/O@@@@@@@?';-"/=**SO$SS8##$OX$@@@@@@@#"::'
|
|
..';::?N+ ..... ..'';-; ........::+$@@@@@@@I:'-"/=**SO$SS8##$OX$@@@@@@@#"::'
|
|
..'-'+$* . . ..';"-; ...... :/S######@@@='.'-"-"?+IIO8N#8OO8@@@@NN8=;::''
|
|
..'-';-*S . . ';-' .... '+8#NN####@@O".:--"/??IIS$N#8OO$@@@@8$O?-'''
|
|
..';::-'I?... .....''' .... :?8@##NNNN@@NX-;;;;;-+*OO8NN@@@@@@@N8S+/"-''
|
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.;;:"I;++::: ....'.:: .... :"S@@#N$N#@@#S/;''';"+*S8$N$@@@@@@@@#NO"?/-;
|
|
.'; '"-'";''' :...... ...... .-O#@@NN8N@@@8+;;-'/X8888$N$@@@@@@@@#O?;;'''
|
|
.'' .:;.';'.'':...... ..... .;XN@@@#N#@@@$I"--"*888$8$N$@@@@@@@@#O-::'::
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.:' . ::'':::'...... ... /='. .:=8@####N@@@@@8*?++*XO$N$N$$@@@@@@@@N*: .:..
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.::'...;:'':::'...... ... *@@=;'?"S#@@@#N@@@@@@#O*I*S8$NNNNNN@@@@@@@@N?...:::
|
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.. :;'...;-':::.......... . .-/?;*#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@N$8#NN@#NNNN@@@@@@@@I..:::::
|
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.. :'-.:+S=':::....... .. . .::':'/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@$N#N#N#NNN@@@@@@@X; .:::::
|
|
:'+';-;'':... .. ..:-=O@@@@@#N#@@@#N$$$$8$8$$$$$ON##O" ......
|
|
';'::..... :;: ...:'"/+SO@@@##N#@@NN$$$$888$$N$8S8$N? .. ./X8
|
|
'::......': . .::::';--;?XOO*OONNN#@#$$$88888$$N$8"/. .+NN#
|
|
;'::......:. :..:::::';;-+XOOOXXS8$N@#N$$8$$$88$$$$O' .*8##8
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..... .';'::::...:..::. . ;'/.. .'*IOSSO$$NNNN#8$$$N$$$$N$$= .. '=$###@@@
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... ';':::...:-/X+SO@#@@@##$@@@@@8$88NNNNN#N$$$$$N$$$$8? 'O$O8$$#@@
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|
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|
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|
|
........... ...;-''''''';;"/??+*IX+XX$#@@@@#@##@@@$$NNNN$$N#@@NI. *@@@#@@@@@@@
|
|
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|
|
:::::''''::::::';---;;';'''';':':;;-;"/**O8@N@#@@@@@##NN#@@@@@@8":=#$=;I#@@@@@@
|
|
. .. ......... ..;----;'::::::::';;';"/+II=+//O8NNN$@@@@@@@@@$**NSX". .++@@@@@
|
|
................';;;"";':::'''';;--;;/??IX**IXON##N##@@@@@@@@#NXI#NS". ./@@@@@
|
|
. . ...........'-;---/+""-""/"////?+***XOOSON#N@@@@@@@@@@@@@#N8S@@@? .;8@N#N
|
|
.............. ..';;;;;"?++/++I===I=XXOXXXSO$$#NN@@@@@@@@@@@@@##@#@@@8" .:I@$OO
|
|
.. '?;''''''+8N8#$#N#N@N#$NN###N#@@@@@@@@@###@@@@@@@@@@@@O=''+XOO
|
|
. . . -O/'::':';+S@@@@@@@@@@@@@###@@@@@@@@@@#N#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#O*-+OX
|
|
...?#S".:''';-?/8#8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@$IIO
|
|
. .. "N@S;.:'';-"=++/*8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@OXO
|
|
. .....-O@@#8/':'-""";;-"*O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@N8$N$
|
|
. .. ..."8@@@@O*;;-"?"---?=O#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@N$N##
|
|
.. . . ....=@@@@@@@@N@N@#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#@
|
|
. .. . ....=#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#@
|
|
""//?/""I$@#+-""//?O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
++??+?/+N@@O/"/????*N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
....:.:::';-O$I-Z/8@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
:.::'';;--=O@O";-/O@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
++??+?/+N@@O/"/????*N@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
|
|
--
|
|
Julian Onions
|
|
________________________________________________________________
|
|
THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE ISSUE #7
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
Neither censored nor edited. Deal.
|