142 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
142 lines
6.7 KiB
Plaintext
PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC _____ _____ ______ _____ PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC / _ /\ / _ /\ /_ __/\ / ___/\ PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC / ___/ // ___/ /_\/ /\_\// /\__\/ PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC /_/\__\//_/\__\//_____/\ /____/\ PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC \_\/ \_\/ \_____\/ \____\/ PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC
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PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC
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PRESENTS:
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Barney Bashing
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First, let me start this off by telling you the truth about Barney.
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Barney is really a cross-dressing, child-molesting, rump-ranger. Now, stop
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RIGHT here. If you have never watched this show, don't. You must be
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prepared first. Barney's show is packed with subliminals. I played his show
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backwards once, to find that it said "You will obey my every suggestion.
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You will take that knife out of the door. GOOD, children. Now, take your
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potty-thing, and shove up right up your mom's poopy-thing, real hard. What?
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You don't have a potty-thing? Your daddy does. Go take that knife and borrow
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his."
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I'm not kidding, people. Barney went major loco after Baby Bop turned
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him down for the 14th time. What would you expect from a guy who won't appear
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until all the adults are gone? Because if they are there, they would see
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Barney carefully slipping his "potty-thing" into all the little kiddies
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backstage. Now. Getting rid of this menace to society.
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Ever wanted to be on television? Well, I'm sure Barney would LOVE it
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if the gang drove the boom car up inside the stage, and played "Sir Psycho
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Sexy" at 192 decibels...
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What? You have no friends? Well, I bet you that some Saturday
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nights that Baby Bop looks pretty damn good. Barney would get REAL jealous
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were you to... say... rape her on stage? No, no. The kids love this.
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Violence is cool! (With ONE exception. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
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They will be covered in a later issue) Just look at what a hit the Teenage
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Mutant Ninja Turtles were! Now, you can't TELL me that they didn't get some
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GOOD pussy from April.
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A good example was the kids who attacked him in that certain parade.
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You don't like him? Well, Mr. Tough Guy, go beat the fuk out of him! That's
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right, go beat the fuk out of him. Pull his fukn underwear off so everyone
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knows just what the hell he really is. Beat him with a pipe. And when he
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grabs you and screams "GODDAMN KID! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" you can BET
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that none of the mommies will let their kiddies watch Barney anymore.
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----
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Need to form an opinion based on his show? WEll, prepare yourself first.
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My way is to down about 5 Beck's. Now, you may be saying, "Wait! Doesn't
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alcohol make you MORE suggestive?"
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Absolutely not. Beer and Satan don't mix. (I have proven this. Try getting
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drunk, and going to a party where they play Black Sabbath all night. You
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will have one FUKN HUGE headache the next morning.) Next thing to do?
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Sing Barney parodies. This will make you take him less seriously.
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Here is a list of some of my favorites.
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I hate Barney
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Barney hates me
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Let's tie Barney to a tree
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Hold an Uzi up to his head
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Pull the trigger, oops, he's dead.
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I love Barney, Barney hates me
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Barney gave me HIV
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With lots of shots
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And a condom every day
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Don't you know that Barney's gay
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I hate Barney
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Barney hates me
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Go tie Barney to a tree
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With a great big gun and an arrow through the head
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Aren't you glad that Barney's dead
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I watch Barney every night {I invented this one. Don't go taking credit}
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Barney is the Antichrist
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With a 666 tattooed on his dick
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Damn that Barney sure is sick
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I hate Barney
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Barney hates me
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I shot Barney in the knee
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THen I shot him in the head and he fell to the floor.
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No more purple dinosaur!
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Sing these each 5 times. Then, you will hate the fucking tune so
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much the subliminals won't affect you..
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If anyone has some creative ways to kill Barney, or some ]<-RaD wayz to kill
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him, e-mail me at 29A.
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-------------
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Shouts go out to:
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PhantomNet - for inspiring this halfway decent file
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CT of A.W.O.L. - for introducing me to PhantomNet
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Johnny Clown - for introducing me to CT
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-Scourge
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<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>
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Everything below this line is truth
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<------------------------------------------------------------------------------>
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Everything above this line is bullshit
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Copyright 1994 PPiC -Phose Phree -N- iNNER CIRCLE
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29A
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6i6-781-1177
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!HOME SITE!
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After Midnight
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2i7-YoU-WiSH
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Virii
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9i4-993-6232
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===========================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================
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THIS FILE IS FROM THE ONE AND ONLY
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__ __ ______________________ ______________
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/ \\ /.~\ /__ __/ ~/ __ ~\/ ~/ ~\ INDEPENDANT
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//|:\\ // /\\_/. /\/ _/\___/. // / _/\__/ . / \ -=FOREVER=-
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/ . \\ // / / / /./_ / \ // _ _/ . _/ \/ / / /\
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/. |. \/. / / / /// ____ /<2F> / / / ____/ / / /// 2 Nodes
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// || // /_/_/ /./ / / / <20> / ///| Ringdown
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/_____|__/_______\__///______ /___/ /________/________/ / :14.4/1.5Gigs
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Y________\________\__/_______/\__/___/\_______/_________\/; .206-652-3086
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: _____ _____ ______ /\____ ____\__\/ _________ /\____ ________________
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. /<2F>__~//._ ~//. ~//<2F>_____\/<2F>__~/ __//._ ~/ /~//._____\/. ~/ _/<2F>__/<2F>__/
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/./__ //<2F>/ ///<2F>/ .//___ \_/./___//_ //<2F>/ /<2F>/.//___ \_//<2F>/ /<2F>_/<2F>/_/ /_
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_/____//____//__/__\_____|<7C> /____/___//____/___/_____|<7C> /__/_/__/_ <20>/_ ~/
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\________________________ /_________________________ ./_________/ __/<2F>/
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=_*_=_<>_Y_<59>_ _<>_<EFBFBD>_<EFBFBD>_=_*_<>\/_<>_=_<>_=_<>_=_<>_=_<>_=_<>_*_=\/_=_Y_<59>__=_*_=_<>/
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~ ~ Y ~ | ~ Y ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ | ~~ ~ ~ Y ~
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| : : Thousands&Thousands Of obscure files >OnLine< ; |
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This file has been for educational and informational purposes only
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; . Sysops- Mescalito Ted & Datura . ;
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. . |