340 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
340 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
[-----] ***** <=======> PPPPPP 0000000 U p Poupey [*][*]* \\ //
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YOU ARE Reading P P O O u o 1 7 * \\ // 17
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[-----] ***** <=======> PPPPPP o 0 0 u u Poupey **** \ /
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P O O U p 1 [] [ ]
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P 0oO0o0O UUUUUye 7 [][][]] [_|
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=======================================================================
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Ascii by Nybar
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Nybar in disguise is nybart, er, table of contents.
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=======================================================================
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[-----------{I}-{Like}-{My}-{Prof!!}--------{by Jamesy}------]
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[----------(Nybart)-(And)-(Shadow-Gao)-----(by Nybar)--------]
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[------(Impotent}-(Message)-(From)-(Sweden)----(by Nybar)----]
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[----(I'm)-(Still)--(Fired)--------------------(by Jubjub)---]
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[---[The]--[Sad]---[Tale]-(Of)-[The]--[Fro(boy]--(by Nybar)--]
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[--[The]--[Great]-{COW}-{Rebellion}-{SZEITGEIS!}-(by Nybar}--]
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[--{Old Pubic Hair Story}---------------(by Nybar)-----------]
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[--{The}-(Great)-(COW)-(Rebellion Chapter 2)---(by Nybar)----]
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=========================================================================
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Sometimes, nybart is in disguise too. Call him bigwhale.
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=========================================================================
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*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
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I Like my Prof!! -Jamesy (with commentary by nybar)
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*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
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I watch mogel, cooking ramen, oh poor mogel, he does not know the joy of
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learning.. He says I am dumb, and yet I know that I am better then him..
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My professor tells me that I am better then him... Ahh my professor, I
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like to kiss his ass (editors note: ahhhhhh....) Lick it, lick it..
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yumyum, my professor likes me to lick his ass, he tells me I am his best
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student, and well versed in kant, also. (editors note: you fag) I watch
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nybar writing his lame `zine. I tried to read it, but simply could not
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get through the first issue. My prof tells me it has no literary value.
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(editors note: ewww.. your prof says... eww.. lamer.) I watch nybar, yes,
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and I think I am better then him. Much better then him. My professor says
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that I am better then him (editors note; hmmm... no.) And now I am off to
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the mystical journey of the soul.
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========================================================================
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This next story, is real. The names were changed to protect the stupid.
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========================================================================
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Nybart and Shadow-Gao - by Nybar
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Nybart: "Like I was saying, if anyone wants too, they can kill ANYBODY
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else, no exceptions."
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Shadow-Gao: "Dahh, eye wunt a lolly pop."
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Nybart: "So, you think that you are tough?? Think I couldn't kill you?!@$"
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Shadow-Gao: "You wouldn't even be able to find me!"
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Nybart: "Oh yeah? I'd wait at your home!!"
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Shadow-Gao: "Hah, I don't even HAVE a home!"
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Nybart: "Guess your just a poor lamer then.. sides I could still find
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you at a party."
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Shadow-Gao: "Dahh penguins aren't mammals arrr fish, dey are octopussies."
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Nybart: "Your a big guy you say? You'd get to me before I shot you you
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say?! HAH! I'd have a poison arrow for a crossbow!!"
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Shadow-Gao: "Dahhh.. eye like beans.. eye yam stoopid."
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<a giant porcipine falls on shadow gao. that lamer deserved it.>
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========================================================================
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And now for an impotent message from sweden!! Yay!
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========================================================================
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Impotent Message from Sweden -The Swiss
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We Make watches unden, hook hak.
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We en lIkE en poupey goorna.
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Swiss miss? Me love you long time! heek hook!
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KaiA kindren? IiiiieEE!!
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Me un impotunten? (shows limp penis) Ahhhhh... Mogel "Ok I admit it it's me
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mogel! So I'm impotent?! WHO CARES@! BWAHHH!! STOP HARRASSING MEEEE!#$@!#$"
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(editors note: ah... mogel? arg, oh yeah! it was tao and nybar in the
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other story! hah!)
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========================================================================
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you know.. stern is right. The french ARE cowards for co-operating with nazis!
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========================================================================
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I'm Still Fired - by Jubjub
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Just wanted you to know I'm still fired. I set up a strike by not letting
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nybar use my computer (pentium 200, 32 megs of ram.) but then HIS computer
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came! (pentium 233, 32 megs of ram, mmx). So he just started writing on
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that one. Aww mann.. he really stuck it to me. Actually this is just him
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pretending to be me right now. I really didn't think he'd fire me. Just
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because he says I was lazy and was the "Poupey Teamster" Nybar "Oh man I
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hope this episode of the thundercats is new.. hmm.. oh yeah jubjub is
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FIREEDD! *TOAST*!$#@ CRISPY!"
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==========================================================================
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The sad tale O da FR0, ahh...is next, ok? thats it..
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==========================================================================
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The sad tale of the *FRO*(boy) - A true story by Nybar
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Ok, so froboy was working, grating cheese for that resteraunt mirage?
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Remember? Argh, it's in that froboy issue of poupey.. ahh.. which one was
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it... ohh it was something like 8-12.. erghhh... ok who cares anyway find
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it on: www.voicenet.com/~poupey Anyway, this is his contiued story. he
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wanted to be one of those preparatory chef guys.. kinda like.. oh shit
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it's on FIREEE!$!@$@!#$@!#$!@$!#@$ DAMN BEING ROBBED! (looks at two scary
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daemons and an old dwarf on a donky. Yells at the donky: STOP ROBBING
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THOSE NICE DAEMONS! and slaps the old ass on the ass! haha! get it?!) ok,
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as I wuz saying, he wanted to be one of those guys who prepares stuff for
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the cooks, right? So that cheese grating job was just like a bouncer pad
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to a better job! He wanted a better job, so of course he did the most
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silly and irrational thing out there, went to missouria. Now he gets to
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prepare ham sandiches for stupid people like farmer ted. Farmer Zed wanted
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to go (farmer ted, ned, led, bed, wed, ped, oed, aed, and farmed ked are
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his family in misery, but I needed him here so I cut off his feet so he
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couldn't go.) Ah, and thats it. Oh, and jubjub is still fired.
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=============================================================================
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This is the tale of the great cow rebellion. It's inspired by, oh no room
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=============================================================================
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The great, COW RRRRREBELLION! SZEITGEIST! Chapter 1 -Nybar
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Bessie the cow was never a quite contrary cow. Downright practical she was
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downright practical. But this cow had baddd blood in her somewhere and she
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got it into her mind that she could use the devils magic bullets.. err
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wait wrong story.. I mean she got it into her mind that she didn't need to
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follow the word of the human slavemaster. So, when the farmer, in the
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morning, called to all the cows to show their faith to the humans and moo
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to him, she remained silent.
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This is how it went: Farmer Led (in a cloak and with flight goggles): "MOO
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FOR ME! MOOOOO FOR MEE!@#$!#$ AHH!@$" *all the cows but bessie moo*
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"Everyone! EVVVVVERYYYYONNNNNEEEEEE!@#!#@$@!#$" but meanwhile bessie had
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quickly circulated through the grapevine that they need not moo.
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BLASPHEMY! It was what these enslaved cows needed to hear! Instead of
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mooing and kneeling on four feet, bessie STOOD! STOOD! THE SIGN OF
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FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEEEDOOM!@$ BEAUTIFUL AND GLORIOUS! AHAHAHHAHA!#@$!@$
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She waited for the others. Some hesitated, and she shrieked "FOR
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FREEDOMMMMMM!@$!@$!#@" they all stood. She SPEWED her nights milk ALL OVER
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farmed led!@$!$ BWAHAHAHA!@$#!@$!#$ So did the others! Now that they did
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not require that they be milked, they were FREE from vile humans! The
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others discharged thier milk cannons until Farmed Led was dead. Ashes to
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ashes.. and stuff. She picked a pretty flower and put it in her ear, then
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chewed on some grass. The flower was a symbol of freedom.. and ahh.. the
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grass.. um.. she ate that because she was kinda hungry. After
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congratulations on a job well done, she and her fellows worked in shifts
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eating, drinking (so they would have ammo) and preparing the defense, for
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the inevitable counter attack by their oppressors.
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TO... BE.... CONTINUED!!!!!!
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=============================================================================
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And now for a story I wrote a while ago but didn't get released.
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=============================================================================
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Jubjub the Iguana in, The Reluctant Pubic hair(s). -Nybar
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----------
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My brother jubjub; The iguana; once felt uneasy. He looked down
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on himself pissing and found nothing there but a hairless
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abomination. But then one day, he saw a small, hairy protrusion
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coming from below the left nut. He said "I love you little pubic
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hair, I shall name you; FRED: Pubic hair of DESTINY.
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<a slight bit later, jubjub is showing his new pubic hair around>
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Jubjub "Fred, meet your neighbor, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson.. meet
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Fred"
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Mr.Johnson "Hi fred!!"
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Jubjub "Fred, meet Ballz, Da Warez King and Queen. Pretty soon
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your brothers and sisters will be covering them."
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Ballz "Hey fred! Phear! Ewheat 0-day k-rad warez in da house
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boyee!"
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Fred "Hi ballz! Mr. Johnson! I just KNOW yer gonna love what I
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do to the place."
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<later on, in Brew-Haha (a cafe where nybar hangs out when he
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should be working>
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Jubjub "Nybar, I have someone who wants to meet you!"
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Nybar "Please, not one of Mr.Johnsons relatives <shudder>"
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Jubjub "No! His next door neighbor!!!!!!"
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip
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EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
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Nybar "Put it away!"
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Jubjub "Say hello to him!"
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Nybar "To who?@$?@#$?!@$!"
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Jubjub "Why.. my pubic hair!"
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Nybar "WHERE?@#%
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Jubjub "Look closely, you'll see `em!"
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Nybar "I'd.. rather not get closer."
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Fred <in a verrrryyy squeaky voice> "Hi nybar! Love the `zine!
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Got any mystical advice?"
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Nybar "Wait not for the flan, seek it with all your heart. You
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will find what you desire."
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Fred <cry> "That was beautiful."
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Jubjub "Does this mean.. does this mean.. are you.. <gulp> LEAVING
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ME?! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!#$!@#$!~$#@"
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Fred "I am to weak to make a colony now! The mystical flan will
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strengthen me! I will bring back my flanified brood."
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Nybar "Up from the ground in a bubblin' crudddeee"
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Froboy "Exactly!!"
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Nybar "Since when are you here?"
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Froboy "If I'm not in a certain number of issues, the steman in yo
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heads walk."
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Nybar "It's a joint venture!@$!@$ I SUPPLIED YOU WITH EM!$@ YOU
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JUST STORED EM!@$!@$@#!$@!#%"
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Meanwhile, south peru...
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Fred <hopping about, not attached to jubjub> "Tell me more of the
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Nebuaybuay indians."
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Wise Traveler who has had to much Beer "They are a mystical bunch.
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Flan is plentiful among them."
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Fred "I must go there! SHOW ME THE WAY!!!@$"
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"Ok, sure"
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Vrooooooooooooom <jeep takes off>
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Nebuaybuay Chieftan "So, little pubic hair, would you like to
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marry my daughter?"
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Fred "Sure."
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NEXT DAY; The *EROTIC* HONEYMOON!
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Fred "Oh baby oh baby oh baby. Bring out flan to give us energy?"
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Nebuaybuay chieftan daughter "Flan? What is this flan you speak
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of?"
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Fred "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@$#!@$!@$"
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<fred pulls out shotgun>
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Next day, a dark figure watches Msnbc.
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Some newscaster person "The top story of the day is a psychotic
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iguana by the name of jubjub was found wrecking lower manhattan in
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a tank, when asked for a statement later he said "Poobic' `har
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laeft maay." Since it was Lower Manhattan, no one pressed charges.
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In other news, The Nebuaybuay chieftan's daughter was found dead,
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shot by a gun.. a SHOT.. Gun. It was presumed to be her chiuahua,
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Cha-chi. On her tombstone, her family had engraved: "Oh, yeah, the
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flan I keep in my purse. got LOTS of that..."
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brick slams into tv.
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CRASH!@$
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Fred "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@$)@*%)+%@*!+)*#!%+!@*$#"
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N
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E
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X
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T
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D
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A
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Y
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Fred <and 10,000 of his brethren> "JUBJUB, I'M HOME!!!"
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Jubjub "YAYYYYYYY! HOP ONTO YER OLD SPOT! YER BRO'S CAN SLEEP ON
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BALLZ!"
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<all pubic hairs> "YAYYYYYYYY!!!"
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Jubjub "But wait.. I don't understand, how did you get all of these
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guys, and grow so much, too?"
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Fred "Well, I went to an Oriental resteraunt"
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Jubjub "WHATTTT?! *I'M <dramatic pause> NOT* PAYING!#R%"
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Fred "Don't worry, I used to money I stole off of this woman I was
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married to to pay."
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Jubjub "Hehe, tutu does pay. Cmon over here ya big lug."
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And thus ghandi crossed the atlantic in one flight and
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discovered America. It set off the civil war it did.
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==============================================================================
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And now for the last tale.. I fragging asked you to submit but you didn't
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=============================================================================
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The Great Cow Rebellion, Chapter 2. -Nybar
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The counterattack came, and then it came again. Several farmers had been
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mortally wounded.. but OH.. not enough.. even with the arrival with cows
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from several more farms, Bessie's forces were weakening. Only one more
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onslaught would finish them. She perked up her large cow ears... and heard
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the rumble. The inevitable onslaught was coming. Her forces stood, gaunt,
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hard from the 24 hours of defence. Dry, from stream after stream of holy
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purifying milk of freedom. They stood. The rumble came closer. Still, they
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stood stock still, on two feet to show that they could stand up to their
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oppressors. Some held pitchforks, captured from their oppressors. The
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rumble was upon them!!#$!@#$ They all tensed up, and saw a great force
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lead by one of the evil humans. A much greater force then they thought the
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farmers could have mustered. Perhaps.. but there was no time. The obvious
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leader, who lead the way which looked like a sword, and yet not a sword,
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called a halt. He stepped calmly forward, and lowered his sword, which
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Bessie could see to be a detachable sword-cane. He said "I come in peace,
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and bring reinforcements from the north east! They are not many, but among
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them are two hundred and twenty agile cats and four hundred cows, to
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re-inforce your sadly meage number. I have heard of your cause and have
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nothing but sympathy! Also among my forces are one hundred and sixty duck
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riders, ready with bills tipped with steel nubbins. We shall surely smite
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our enemies." Bessie, speaking truthfully, bubbled "My heart is filled."
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Nybar said "Come, we shall rest for the night, and then, COUNTER
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ATTACK!@#$@!#$!#@$"
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To, Be, CONTINUED!
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EOF
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