277 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
277 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #3 =+
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.s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$s. .s$$ $$s. .s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$$$$s. $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$s. $$$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ s$$$$s .$$$$$$$$$. $$$$ .s$$$$$$$s. $$$$jc(poupey)
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+= "Is poo-poo one word or two?" - Nybar =+
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... .. .. . .
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YO BITCHES
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- joltcola
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we've picked up a new writer, the pilsbury fro boy. bf said he would write,
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but i haven't gotten his submission yet. oh well.
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-
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... .. .. . .
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1; yo bitches - joltcola
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2; the truth about republicans - nybar
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3; the night before lab - the pilsbury fro boy
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4; mission 29843198273 (the truth about republicans #2[yes, we're poupey, and
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we're not afraid to have two parts of a series in one 'zines])
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5; writer's bios
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... .. .. . .
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THE TRUTH.. ABOUT.. REPUBLICANS!!!!!! -Nybar..
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tI lla detrats kcab ni sb.. OH FORGET IT!
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I WILL NOT BE BRIDED INTO TELLING IT IN.. BACKWORDS WRITING!
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FIRST... THERE WAS COLONEL SANDERS! HE RULED HIS REALM BY MIND
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CONTROLLING CHICKENS!!!!!!! HE WAS LOVED BY NONE AND FEARED BY ALL!!
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THEN.. THERE CAME REBELLION!! NYBAR
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AND HIS MINIONS BROUGHT HIM DOWN
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.. BIG TIME!!! BUT HE STILL SECRETLY PLANNED!! REMEMBERING THE POWERFUL
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DAYS OF OLD, HE BOUGHT A CHICKEN FRANCHISE!!!!! Then, he put his mind
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controlling additives in certain chickens. The ones which would reach
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important people. It made them vote against good sense. They formed a
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council. THE COUNCIL
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OF THE THEM!!! It's nerve center includes..
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The money man, Walt Disney. The power handeler.. Richard Nixon himself.
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The hidden members... JFK and Elvis.. (they're deaths were faked, then
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they were brought before the council.) there funnel, Clinton, and the
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puppetmaster Colnel Sanders. They formed a new party, republicans, with
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ease. I control resistance. I have on my side, Joltcola (worthless, but
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helps me write this `zine,) Snakeface, my best
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field agent, and a
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brilliant general/politician. Mr.Mojo, intelligence commander. He runs
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5 tabloids (which are true) and he has recently gotten the info of the
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leadership of the Council of the Them. Then, there is The Pillsbury Fro
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Boy. His fro is so big, it has 5 major
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cities in it. He is my power broker.
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He supplies the men for my operation (called STEMAN, IN YOUR HEAD's...
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little 4 armed creatures who live in his head.) The world is in a state
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of constant trouble. We managed to take out one of they're best people
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recently (Nixon.) Still.. we are fighting a losing battle. The nigh
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endless supply of Ste-Men is running out. We need new agents. The Council
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is about to end this file, they are coming for me. Please.. NO!!!! NOT YET!!
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HAHHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE LIFE IN THE FAST LANE! <sounds of gun shots>..
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FIN?
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... .. .. . .
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The Night Before Lab
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- The Pilsbury Fro Boy
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this was written by nybar and joltcola's brother, the pilsbury fro boy.
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it's about conditioning rats (based on the night before christmas).
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wolf hall is where class is held, and B.F. Skinner is a pioneer in the
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field of conditioning rats to do your bidding.
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==POUPEY== <---- divider
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'Twas the night before lab;
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Class had just been let out
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All the rats
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They were stirring
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Because they wanted out
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To their boxes
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We took them
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And placed them with care
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In hopes that
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B.F. Skinner soon
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Would be there
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The students were nestled
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In their small little cells
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While the rats went to the bathroom
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It emitted a smell
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My labmates
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In their kerchiefs
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And me with my FR0
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The 2nd day
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Of shaping our rats we did go
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When outside of McKinely there arose such a clatter
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I jumped from my cubical to see what was the matter
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Over to Wolf Hall i sped in a dash
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Climed up the stairs and tripped over the trash
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The rain from the
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Street that I
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Saw from afar
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Gave a glint to the street
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That waxed of film noir
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The sight i then saw it did knock me flat
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Spome old guy on skates pulled along by eight rats
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Could it be Santa Clause?
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No; this guy was thinner
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And i know in a minute it must be B.F. Skinner
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More rapid than field mice
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Because conditioned they came
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And he hooted and hollered and called them byname:
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"Now Jerry! Now Speedy! Now Ralph S.! And Micky!
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On Algernon! Sabastian! Pinky! and Minny!
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To the top of the building
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To the top of Wolf Hall
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Now scurry and scamper and dash away all!"
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As ungraded papers berfore a whirlwind do fly
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When out the window students throw them,
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Mount to the sky
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So the the top of Wolf Hall his Rats they flew
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With a bag full of pellets
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And B.F. Skinner, too
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And than in an instant on the roof i did hear
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The scratching and scraping of little feet drawing near
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I hid in the corner close to the ground
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As B.F. broke through the window
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Making quite a loud sound
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He slipped on the tile
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And fell on his ass
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His close they were ruffled and cover with glass
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A bag full of food pelletes and previous tests
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He cluthced in his arms held close to his breast
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With a pair of thick glasses,
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A coat and a tie,
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And a receding hair line
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I know by and by;
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That this guy was out there
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Which made me afraid
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But i knew if he helped us we'd get a good grade
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He fed all the Rats while through the darkness he lurked
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And than Cical came in and said "Get out of here, jerk!"
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Skinner's eyes grew nearly as wide as a grape
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As he sped up the emergency fire escape
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He slipped on his skates
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Which indeed were quite big
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As his Rats scampered off sort of doing a jig
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But as his rats pulled him off i did hear him say
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"Opereant conditioning shapes behavior as a sculptor shapes clay"
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... .. .. . .
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Mission 50235 -Nybar
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This is a modified report of our biggest success since the
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original de-throning of Colonel Sanders. It is the real account
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of what happened to Richard Nixon.
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<HELLO MY NAME IS BRAKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!>
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-----------------------------------------------
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Nybar was reading the ste-man in you head reports. Mixed reports.
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The Pillsbury Fro Boy (AKA BraveHair) was training rats to do the
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duties of Ste-Men.. and the Council of the Them (AKA THEY) had taken
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our secondary base.. complete with 500,000 good men.. ste men. It paled
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in comparison next to what Nybar < I AM TALKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!! >
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, Mr. Mojo, and Snakeface were going to attempt. They were going to blow
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the lid off of The Council of the Thems main source of political power
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at the time. Pretty boy Richard Nixon himself.
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-------------------------------------------------------------
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ .. SNORE!!!!!!
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------------------------------------------------------------
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The first few parts went fairly smoothly. Mr. Mojo
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Overrided the security lasers, Snakeface took out the guards
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(by biting them.. lethal immediatly.) The real trouble started when
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I confronted Richy. He was prepared for me. I walked into the room..
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and saw a.. GIANT DEATH ROBOT!!!!!! It started shooting missiles at me
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.. while saying "EVEN IF YOU TAKE ME.. YOU WILL NEVER STOP THE WEB
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DECENCY ACT!!!!!". for the missiles, I simply dodged. One of them, using
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my high velocity repeller <neat name.. isn't it?> and shot it back at him
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, making a hole big enough for me to dump a bucket of water into, shorting
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his circuits. From there.. it was fairly simple to beat him to death.
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FIN <damn fish>
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.... .. .... ..... ...... .........
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FORIN <Joltcola is teaching me to be elete> STORY
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One day I was pawing through a foriegn language book.
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It vas neat. So.. I saw that it said popah meant butt, and dinazar
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means dinasour. So I walked up to joltcola and said "You Dinazar's
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Popah!!"
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()_/-/---/---/-----/------/--------/---------/----------/-----/_()
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He.. not understanding.. said "AND PROUD!" Then I started laughing
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. Then he started laughing. Then a big fat calf walked in and started
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laughing. It was beautiful. Then.. I became a real boy.
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Fin <forin!!>
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..... .... .. . ..
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writer's bios - JOLT FUCKING COLA and nybar
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we're HoE and dto posers[tm], we're doing bios for all our writers.
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nybar - (by joltcola)
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comin' from the mean streets of delaware this k-cool cat spends his
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time calling bbs's and playing muds. every once in a while he'll write a
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hilarious issue of poupey. he's convinced that the appocolypse is coming and
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that cats will be the only survivors. sometimes he lays in bed at night
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wishing he were an elf.
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Turn-ons: cats
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Turn-offs: republicans
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joltcola - (by nybar)
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from the stinking suburbs of newark.. DE, come gansta boy JC.
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He enjoys going on IRC channels with the name "Bigtits"
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and laughing at cyber-sex. he is obsessed with infomercials.. and cheese.
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the cats are beating him up all the time. he is conviced that the
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apocolypse will never happen.. BUT IT WILL DAMNIT!
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Turn-ons: naked men
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Turn-offs: naked men he knows
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Pillsbury Fro Boy -(by nybar)
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The brainchild of a mad invenetor working at pilsbury central, he was
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cursed with dangerously large hair. he was kicked out of his birth
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place (the lab.) since then, he has invited everyone to come and stay
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in his hair. He has gone through a period of refinement, from which
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he emerged COMPLETELY CRAZY!! (and with bigger hair)
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Turn-ons: Cookie Dough
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Turn-offs: Short hair
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.... .............. .. .. . ..
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Fat Bald and proud
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jolt ... cola
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i'm addicted to flinstones vitamins!@# ayieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i like to play
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ping pong....... with goggles on. "jc, play better" inspirational isn't it?
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if you're ever going to make a 'zine remember puncation is your enemy! gorf.
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nybar is looking over my shoulder. he wears sweatpants a lot. they're blue.
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MMMMM I LIKE HOMEFRIES. that many could kill you@!# sigh. heheheh :) :) :)
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heheheh !!!!!!! hehehe :) lish!!!!!!!!!!!1 florm gorf hoggle.
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... .. .
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the end
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poupey #3 - sponsored by bF
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