293 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
293 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
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ÚÄ Ä´°°°°ÃÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄ Ä Ä ÄÄÄÄÄ´°°°°Ã ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä ÄÄÄ Ä ´°°°°ÃÄ ÄÄ¿
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°³ ²²²²ÜÜÜ ²²²²ÜÜÜ ²²²² ³°
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÜ ÜÜÜÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÜÜ ÛÛÛÛÜÜ Ü
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³ ÛÛßÜ ßßßßÛÛÛÛÜÜ ÛÛÛÛß ÛÛßÜ ßßßßÛÛÛÛÜÜ ÛÛßÜ ³
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Ä Ä´° ° ÛÝÞÛÞ °°° ßÛÛÛÛÜ ÞÛÛÛÝ ° ÛÝÞÛÞ °°° ßÛÛÛÛÜ °°° ÛÝÞÛÞ ° °ÃÄ Ä
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ÛÛÜÛÞ ßÜ ÞÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÜÛÞ ßÜ ÞÛÛÛÝ ÛÛÜÛÞ
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° ÛÛÛÛÞ ÞÝ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÞÝ ÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÞ °
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± ÛÛÛÛÞ Û ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ Û ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ±
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²Ú ÛÛÛÛÞ ² ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ Ü ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ¿²
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±²ÛÛÛÛÛÝÛÛÛÛÞ ÄÄÄ Ä ° ÄÛÛÛÛÞÞÝÛÛÛÛÞÄÄ ÛÛÛÛÞÄ Ä ÄÄÄ ² ÄÛÛÛÛÞÞÛÝÛÛÛÛÞÞÛÛÛÛÛ²±
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ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ²²²²Þ ÛÛÛÛÞ ° ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ
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ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ °°°°°Þ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ
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ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ mci
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° ±²ÛÛ²Þ ÛÛÛÛÞ ° ±²ÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ °±²ÛÛ²Þ °
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ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ
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ÛÛÛÛÞ ÛÛÛÛÞ
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negative ÝÛÛÛ²Þ ° multiplicative ÝÛÛÛ²Þ ° inverse
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Ý ÛÃÄ Ä Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ issue one ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä Ä´Û Ý
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"Why try holding back the wave? You'll only drown in the changes.
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You've got to learn to let go.
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Just let go and experience the flight.
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Try to see from a different side.
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If balance is the key, maybe we'll
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see a future understanding."
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- Queensryche
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Ý ÛÃÄ Ä Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä Ä´Û Ý
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ÄÂÄÚÄÚ³³ Ú¿ Ú¿Ú¿ Ú¿Ú¿Ú³ÄÂÄÄ¿Ú³ÄÂÄÚ¿
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Ú Ä Ä Ä ÄÄ ÄÄ ³ ³´Ã´³ ³Ù ³³Ã ³ ³³³³ ³ ³Ù³³ ³ À¿ ÄÄ ÄÄ Ä Ä Ä ¿
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³ Ä Ä³ÄÙÀ´ÀÙ À³Ù ³ÄÁ³ ³ Ä ÀÙ ³ ÄÄij ³
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: :
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+ the editorial: wacky-ass 'zine boy, by belial
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+ angst is the flavor, by belial
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+ play that funky techno beat, by mindcrime
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+ household man: superhero, by mindcrime
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+ the end: people suck, by mindcrime
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+ members, contact, legal information, chick's fone numbers.
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Ä ÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁ Ä
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Ú¿Ú¿Ä
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Ý ÛÃÄ Ä Ä Ù³³ ³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä Ä´Û Ý
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä negative multiplicative inverse Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÄÄÄ Ü Ä Ä the editorial Ä Ä Ü ÄÄÄ Ä
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ÄÜÛßßÚ Ä Ä ¿ßßÛÜÄ
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Þ²Ý:´ wacky-ass 'zine boy, by belial Ã:Þ²Ý
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±ßþ Ä Ä þß±
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° °
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Don't touch my turkey, little bitch! Did you ever
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look in a mirror and wonder what it's thinking about you?
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No?
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Why not? I bet when you look in the mirror,
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it's saying, "Damn, fat thing, get
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your chunks outta here!"
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Well, then again, maybe it's
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just a mirror and it really doesn't think or say anything.
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But you have to admit, it would be
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pretty damn cool!
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All right! Throw your parent's in the air and wave 'em
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like you just don't care! This is the
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e'zine of the century!
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Secret Agent Edicius on the scene:
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Huzzah! Edi's tounge is a little tied up on some
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stupid slinky that he's swinging around.
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What a DORK!
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Back to the office:
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This here thing that you're reading is, like, a
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brand GNU e'zine! And it is indeed most phearsome. So, buckle in
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your fruitloops backback and
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get ready for some heavy duty
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food slingin'.
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It's me (Belial), and it's him (Mindcrime), and it's
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that other circus freak (Edicius).
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We're funny! Laugh!
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(NO! I THINK WE FUCKING SUCK!)
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AnyWAY, here we are... and it's
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pretty cool if you ask me.
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HEY! Get that
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pudding out of your mouth! What do you think
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this is?!
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The aliens are coming for you, man! Send us all your
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money and stuff and we'll kind of rough up the
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aliens to get off your
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back-- for a price, of course, though. What
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do you think we are?
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We're capitalists, damnit! Wait, we're communists, too!
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Swimming in a pool of
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conformity, baby! Strap your swimmies on,
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and lets go! This is it! This IS
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THE definative 'zine, milky! Here it is, here we
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are!
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We're Negative Multiplicative Inverse!
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-- Belial [1/2 Editor]
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä end of article ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä negative multiplicative inverse Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÄÄÄ Ü Ä Ä article number: one Ä Ä Ü ÄÄÄ Ä
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ÄÜÛßßÚ Ä Ä ¿ßßÛÜÄ
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Þ²Ý:´ angst is the flavor, by belial Ã:Þ²Ý
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±ßþ Ä Ä þß±
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° °
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I have so much angst! I'm an over-depressed
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teenager! My life sucks, my parents suck, everything
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sucks!
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I'm going to end it all! I just can't deal with
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it anymore!
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I can't stand school! It's
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repressing my art! I don't have room to expand!
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I'm quitting!
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I can't stand girls! I can't
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pick any up! I'm such a stain!
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God END this life for me!
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä end of article ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä negative multiplicative inverse Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÄÄÄ Ü Ä Ä article number: two Ä Ä Ü ÄÄÄ Ä
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ÄÜÛßßÚ Ä Ä ¿ßßÛÜÄ
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Þ²Ý:´ play that funky techno beat, by mindcrime Ã:Þ²Ý
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±ßþ Ä Ä þß±
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° °
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oons oons oons oons oons WEEP WOP oons WEEP WOP oons
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WEEP WEEP WOP oons oons WEEP WEEP WOP oons wEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWW oons
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oons oons oons.
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techno in my soul, beotch!
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did you ever find yourself moving to
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a non-existant beat on a bus full of convicts on
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you're way to the penitentiary? me niether,
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but i bet if you ever did, all
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the mean people would stare.
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which brings me to an interesting topic!
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have you ever stared at someone (perhaps a
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h0T g0TH gRRL) so long that she started to fidget and
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get nervous, and then
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she gets up and runs out of the room
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screaming? grey hawk does it all the time.
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he's a stalker.
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-Ä ode to grey hawk, the stalker -Ä
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grey hawk, yeah, he likes to stalk,
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the women he follows hasten their walk
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and every time he catches up,
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the police have to use their big white chalk.
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he's a stalker, an axe murderer, and a poet,
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the women say no but he likes to show it.
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sometimes he tries to be sincere and kind,
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but somehow always manages to blow it.
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he drives a suave car and plays lots of techno,
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he's tried the direct approach, but the women say "heck no!"
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poor grey hawk, what a misguided soul,
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he stalks all day, and when he'll stop does nobody k-know.
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heh.. RHYMING SUCKS!
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä end of article ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä negative multiplicative inverse Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÄÄÄ Ü Ä Ä article number: three Ä Ä Ü ÄÄÄ Ä
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ÄÜÛßßÚ Ä Ä ¿ßßÛÜÄ
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Þ²Ý:´ household man: superhero, by mindcrime Ã:Þ²Ý
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±ßþ Ä Ä þß±
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° °
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you know what would be cool? if they made a
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superhero who just used everyday appliances to
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defend the world against the
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evil realms. he could give the enemies some
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scissors, and then run away, and when they chased
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after him, they'd fall and gouge
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themselves on the scissors.
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he could have a portable microwave,
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and he'd put the enemies' heads in it and turn it on full blast. their
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brain would fry up, so not only would he have succeeded in
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defeating
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the
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enemy,
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he would also have breakfast.
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i think these comic book writers think too hard
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about things. superheros
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aren't hard to come up with. dumbasses.
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä end of article ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä negative multiplicative inverse Ä Ä´Û Ä
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Ä ÄÄÄ Ü Ä Ä the end Ä Ä Ü ÄÄÄ Ä
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ÄÜÛßßÚ Ä Ä ¿ßßÛÜÄ
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Þ²Ý:´ people suck, by mindcrime Ã:Þ²Ý
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±ßþ Ä Ä þß±
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° °
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did you ever start a new 'zine with the hope
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that all your friends would think it
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was cool and would contribute and it would be one biggy,
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happy comedy fest?
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i did yesterday, and no one lifted a finger to help except the
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poor soul that happened to be in
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the room with me.
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i chained him to my desk and told
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him to write or i'd kill off
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his family. i guess no one does
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anything on this planet anymore unless you
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make them.
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by the way, phear the blade nation. we're taking over
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this god-forsaken planet. earth
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is a thing of the past. 2k is coming, and when it does,
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the blade nation will own you.
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so anyway, that's our 'zine. we're going to put this
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thing out like superman all hopped up on jolt(tm).
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thousands upon thousands of issues will pile
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up on my hard drive, and you will all phear our
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lack of lives. never underestimate the
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power of a bored computer geek.
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Ú¿Ú¿Ä
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Ý ÛÃÄ Ä Ä Ù³³ ³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´ end issue one ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä Ä Ä´Û Ý
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negative multiplicative inverse:
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mindcrime - founder, editor, layout, design, artwork
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belial - editor, justification scheming
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edicius - used to be an editor, but we alienated him and made
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fun of him so he quit and now
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he's just a dork.
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dimes - was told to be a writer,
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but was too busy, so now he's just a lamer.
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grey hawk - was also told to be a writer, but was
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too busy playing his new warez. so now
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he's just a stalker with no social life.
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Ú Ä Ä Ä-Ä contact: mike@exit109.com, marc@netlabs.net
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³
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:
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Ý ÛÃÄ Ä ÄÄÚ¿Ä¿ÚÄÚÄÂÄ¿³Ä¿ÄÄÚ³¿³ÚÄÂÄÚ¿³ ÄÚ¿ÚÄÂÄ¿³Ä¿Ä-Ä¿¿³Ä¿Ú¿Ú¿Ä¿ÄÄ Ä Ä´Û Ý
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³³³Ù³¿³´³³³Ã³Ù ³ ³³³³ ³³³³³ ³³ ³´³³³Ã³Ù ³³³³Ã³Ù³ À¿³Ù
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³ÀÙÀÙijijÀÙÀÙ ³ÀÙÀ´Ä³³ÙÀ´³ÀÁijijÀÙÀÙ ³ ³ÀÙÀÙ³ÄijÁÙ
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³
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negative multiplicative inverse is copyright (c) 1996 surreality enterpises
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distribution of this magazine is allowed, and indeed encouraged,
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provided it is copied in it's entirety. no single part of this magazine
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may be duplicated without the expressed, written consent of surreality
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enterprises and the author of said part.
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Ú¿Ú¿Ä
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Ä ÛÃÄ Ä end of file ÄÄÄ ÄÄ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ³³ ³À Ä Ä´Û Ä
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