352 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
352 lines
17 KiB
Plaintext
It is us! Mindless Mayhem is released yet again! And this time
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with a daily dose of Vitamin K!
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Starring Great One
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in:
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Winter Wonderlands
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Mindless Mayhem issue number Twenty-Five!
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===============================================================================
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Woe is me, I recently discovered that typing in alternating
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caps is common and accepted amongst the boards considered to be
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cool in the nation. I think soon I will stop calling out all
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together! And then NO ONE AT ALL will get access to my board!
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Just ME. It would be rather dull, as I can only reply to my
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own messages so many times, but at least I wouldn't have to read
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the really mutant people's messages...
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Recently, my pet Mega-Guppy popped out 30 kids. Then,
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not more than a month later, 20 more, and then, not more than
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a month later, 15 more. Mega-Guppy has no other guppies in with
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her, and I am starting to wonder just how she is getting herself
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knocked up. The gold fish can't be doing it. I'm not doing it,
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even if I tried the chromozones wouldn't be compatible, and I
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have taken all the babies out before they could breed or be eaten
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by the monster goldfish that resemble small cars in their size
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relation.
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Like you all care. Anyway, Here are a few ways to have fun
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during the winter. Some of this stuff requires some prior chemical
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know-how, some goodies you may have to buy, or just guts.
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-----------
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Part One: Fun (the rest of the file is also a part one of one)
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A long time ago, I decided that small children were worthless and should
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be put to sleep. Unfortunately when I ran for congress, that idea did not
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carry over well with the voters and I didn't get to make it a law. However,
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here are some things you can do to at least have a fun time with them.
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1: Go to Toys R Us. They are always there. Navigate your way
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to the area where they have the nintendos or whatever set up,
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(nintendos are what little kids play you know. Nintendo even
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admitted that their games are aimed at the younger audience, even
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the games for the super nintendo) and make sure the friends that
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you brought are there with you. You can:
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o Push them out of the line to play it and make them cry.
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o Drop stink bombs as we did and watch them all LEAVE (except for
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one little asian boy who HAD to play mario no matter what stench
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filled the area)
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o Follow them. They all know the Stranger Danger thing. And if
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they watch Barney (I cringe at the name) all the better, because
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they know to run and scream for help and carry on like idiots.
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And, if you were smart, you'd say you are making your way for the
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register with the rocket engines you picked up if you are stopped.
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Of course, you weren't originally going to PAY for those engines,
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were you?
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o Tell them that you know how they can get a game for free. Then
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make up some story that would sound logical to them. They believe
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in santa, so chances are they'll believe you too since there's
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something in it for them.
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For more fun about little kid toys, get the MM issue #5 about Bigwheel's
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O' Fun by Mr. Beeg.
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-----
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Find a large sewer. There is one near my place of resisdence that looks
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like the entrance to the Eye of the Beholder dungeon, and is about as
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big, too. Getting into it was REAL bitch. The area around it was all
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bumpy because it was frozen mud with sleet covering it, so in otherwords
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it was very smooth but bumpy ice, very similar to marbles on a concrete
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floor. You can't walk on this without falling. We had a great time just
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trying to get INTO the thing (remember, it wasn't a manhole it was an
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ENTRANCE!) because we had to climb down a small cement wall as well and
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then go onto a 45 degree mound of dirt with the same problems as before,
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only it headed into a small stream if you fell...
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If you are lucky, some of the water in the sewer will be frozen enough to
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slide on. This may sound sort of stupid, but actually it's kind of fun.
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The only drawback with this sewer was the large amounts of rusting metal
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spikes sticking out of the walls. This made sliding at great speeds
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perilous to say the least, so we didnt do that. (On another note, the
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next summer we narrowly escaped the police when an old lady that lived in
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the nursing home nearby phone the cops when she saw a bunch of people
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head into the sewer. So we weren't careful about who saw us! It's only
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a sewer, and there were no signs that said no tresspassing...)
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Lucky for the cop the pipe bomb we had put in there hadn't gone off.
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If it DID, I think we'd still be running.
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-------
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Fill those nitrous oxide cartridges with gunpowder (after you used the
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gas, stupid!)! They make excellent crater makers. And, in the snow, you
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can get it to fly in all directions. Just be careful not to actually
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watch the snow go, or you may get hit by shrapnel. The careful anarchist
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is the alive and well anarchist. Live to be chaotic again another day!
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There's no glory in brain damage!
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Those are also very nice in pipe launchers. I am currently attempting
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to figure out a way of how to make an effective "mortar" launcher.
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It would involve blasting the cartridge out of the pipe, and in the
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initial blast that would light the wick of the cartridge, which would
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eventually detonate somewhere in the sky (unless you aimed it at some
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window or something, where it would eventually detonate in the building)
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Take care that you aren't CAUGHT with something like that, as chances
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are you will be sited for having an illegal firearm, illegal use of a
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firearm, no FOID, Ammo discharge, and all that crap. At best, find a big
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field and practice. Finding the right amount of powder to use isn't hard
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, it's the COMPRESSION that's difficult. It's hard to compress it so that
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it pushes the cart out REALLY far and really fast. The best I can get
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it to go is twenty feet. Can anyone help me out here?
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You also would be wise to have a large supply of improvised gunpowder.
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Remember, our instructions for that DO indeed work! I understand that
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finding the chemicals for it is difficult at best, but if you find it
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make sure you STOCK UP BIG TIME or you may regret it!
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You can make snow glow by getting a very large mound and putting thermite
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on it (and igniting it) . It's not very creative, but glowing snow is not
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something one sees every day.
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---------------------
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Speaking of useless children, here is something I clipped out of the paper:
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Boys accused of making bomb:
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BARRINGTON, IL -- a 12-year old boy was arrested (yes!) after he reportedly
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placed a homemade bomb of aerosol cans and matches on the front porch of
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his home on Hillside Avenue Thursday, police said. The bomb was diffused
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by an officer and did not injure anyone (the bomb or the officer?), reports
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indicated. The boy was released into his mother's custody.
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What a shining example of youth! Doing things out in the open to get
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caught! I have to wonder though, what exactly he was making. I only
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know how to shoot flame from aerosol cans (and I don't do that because I
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don't want to die horribly when the flame gets sucked into the can), and
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I don't see how he could make a bomb out of the multiple cans unless he
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sat there and heated them up while he waited to die from the soon-to-be
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resulting explosion.
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---------------------
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Why do people suddenly become happy at Christmas time? I wish everyone
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was mean like they usually are, as it is difficult to bear all sorts of
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smiling happy people. Here is how you can help your community become
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more idealistic in their Not Liking Other People traits:
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o Find the latest kids toy in the store, and then proceed
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to place it somewhere else, you know, barbies with the
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transformers, vice versa, etc.
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o Remember those stink bombs? Visit the public bathrooms.
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o After you do that, find out where the crowd is the thickest
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and put them there, too.
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o Go to a video selling store and then mix the Playboy videos
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up with the Disney showcase. Do the same with heavy metal
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videos and classic music.
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o Many malls have a food area. Get in line and then read
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each menu, and then keep changing your mind when you go to
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make an order. Not only will this piss the cashier person
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off, the people behind you won't like it either.
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o Use stink bombs in the food area. Nothing beats the smell
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of pizza and ammoniumdisulfide!
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o Offer 'Valet' parking even if you don't work for the valet
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service, and either take it or park it somewhere really
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far away.
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o Bring some friends and just STAND somewhere and let people
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try to squirm past. This is usually effective on a staircase.
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Ok, so its all juvenile and such. But the worst charge you can get
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is disorderly conduct (assuming you don't attempt to valet park),
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so it's no real big deal.
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---------------------
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For fun on your own or with friends, find a nice big ice covered or snow
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filled parking lot and go real fast and slam on the emergency brakes.
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Don't do this too often, as its not good for any part of the car! Donuts
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work well here too (spinning around real fast), as the car can spin
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wildly out of control. This is why you want a big parking lot that's
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empty! This is usually fun with a big car or a sports car.
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If police see you doing this, you won't like the consequences to your
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insurance rates.
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Pouring water over the gas cap is always a fun and educational thing to
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do to other cars. In winter, it gets cold, and therefore water will
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freeze. And the gas cap will effectively remain in place.
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Flat tires and Ice do not mix well. So flatten anyones' tires that
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you see fit to do so.
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I think this was in a different text file, but small furry animals in
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dryer ducts always smell nice when they die! If you can't do it, then
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maybe you can find a dead one to put in.
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Sometimes, people have fireplaces where the ashes are emptied out on the
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the outside of the fireplace. Insert your favorite exploding device
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under a pile of ashes. No one cleans the fireplace after every fire, and
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no one pokes through the ashes either. Try to use something relatively
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harmless, as you don't want to KILL the people, right? You would probably
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be best off getting lots of smoke grenades (smoke in the house is fun!)
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or jumping jacks, as they will bounce all around the fireplace and they
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won't know what it is.
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Buckets of water poured onto the front porch or around the tires of
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any car can result in hours of viewing enjoyment!
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No one likes to get hit with snowballs, and no one likes to get hit by
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ones that have a thin layer of snow surrounding a pound of ice.
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That water is really useful when it comes to mailboxes, too (assuming
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you haven't blown them up or batted them yet).
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Ice and nails don't mix with car tires, and such is an effective way
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to make that flat we mentioned earlier.
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Put a small furry animal on a patch of ice and watch it run in place!
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I guess you can get a hamster wheel for that too, but hey its winter.
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The moment the light turns green, make like an italian and press the
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horn down as hard as you can to get the people in front of you moving.
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Fast acceleration and poor road conditions are fun! Just dont accelerate
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right after they do!
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---------------
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Matt isn't going to jail! I've you've read the past few issues, you'll
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know that he's not a well liked person (he's weird!). He pled mental
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instability and that he's thought of suicide and instead of going to the
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slammer he gets to see a court appointed therapist! I can think
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of many swears to use as adjectives for this guy, so I will let you
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think of some, too.
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---------------
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How many people actually read this crap I put out, anyway? No one has
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sent me mail for a long time (to the post office box!). So someone
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send me that christmas music tape so I can go insane and get a big gun
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and shoot people repeatedly. Or something like that. Send anything!
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Info on electronic stuff! Info on what you'd like to read! Info
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on other text groups and boards! Info on your board so we can compile
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a list of text boards! Note: Only send it IF you want to be on a list!
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I for example would probably die if my board ended up on a BBS list,
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and I have died several times to prove it. Unauthorized advertising
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is a big No No!
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I want a new intro for the beginning. That circle with the A is sort
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of stupid. So, I have decided that THIS picture is far more cool,
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but I cannot take credit for it, I don't know who drew it!
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD>
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<20><> <20><><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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<20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
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A N A R C H Y F O R E V E R
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Well that was nice. I don't plan to use it, but it was neat anyway.
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Oh! And for you SysOps that wanted a special message to give to those
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leeching zitheads on your board, you can give them a display of either
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of the extra included files in this zip. They are simple, but display
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a basic message that shows that you really care!
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---------------
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I haven't much more to say, but I'll follow tradition for once and say
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that drinking and driving isn't cool, but either of the two are if not
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mixed!
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---------------
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Call Destiny Knights BBS at 708 307 3768 and say that you got it
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from an MM file. Make sure you state which one! I want to know whats
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being read out there. There is no new user password. Chances are
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you will be deleted, so apply anyway so I can enjoy deleting yet
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another person in my quest for mercilessness.
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All I can tell you is to keep up on your homework and don't type in
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alternating caps.
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You can also call the 3 Guys BBS, at 907 428 2530 and also say
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you got it from here! They are an offical MM circulation board.
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Not too many boards can say that on their opening screen! And and
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chances are, he doesn't have it on his. In fact, I don't even
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have it on mine!
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----------------
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Mindless Mayhem is published whenever by Crash Korrigan. Assistant
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writers are Hap Hazard and Ming the Merciless.
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Ok so I lied. They don't have anything to do with this.
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Feel free to write Melvin Woznikki (yes that's the name to use)
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at PO Box 958542 Hoffman Estates, IL 60195-8542 to relay
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your comments. And no, that's not my real name. My real name
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is Jack Enoff, and you can see why I don't tell anyone what it is!
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Ok so I lied about my real name, too.
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----------------
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We are always looking for something to write about. Usually this is
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a rather sporadic thing, and we don't like being spores. So help us out!
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Any information on anything related to this sorta stuff (sorry we haven't
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done much on hacking, but hey, I'm not going to do it in my house!)
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including pyros, anarchy, hacking, cracking, virii, whatever.
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-----EOF--------
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See you on the other side!
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