832 lines
35 KiB
Plaintext
832 lines
35 KiB
Plaintext
************************************************************************
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************************************************************************
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*** ***
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*** ***
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*** NutWorks ***
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*** ---------- ***
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*** The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine for Those ***
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*** Who Have Come To The Ultimate Conclusion ***
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*** That They Are, Therefore They Think ! ***
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*** ***
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*** October 1985, Issue006, (Volume II, Number 2). ***
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*** ***
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************************************************************************
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************************************************************************
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Editor's Comments
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=================
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Well the response to the first issue of nutworks for this sememster
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has incredible. Some of you (Yes Knappy, I mean you for one) sent me
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enough stuff to sort through to keep me busy for quite a while. Thanks
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for all the great stuff everyone out there sent us. I ran into a slight
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problem with several of the articles that were sent to me though. Alth-
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ough they were on the whole great articles, some were incredibly long.
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I didnt want to clogg up people's readers or the network with an incred-
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ibly large issue, so i decided to try something revolutionary to this
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magazine that we all know and love, I decided that I would have to make
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some of the articles into several parters (An example is in the Op Code
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article) I want to stress that I am not complaining about people send-
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ing long articles, on the contrary, I am explaining to you why I did
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that I did. Besides, we want to make sure that you will read next issue
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:-)
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P.S. Knappy Sorry, but it wouldn't be fair to make an entire issue just
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out of the stuff you sent me. It will be spread out over several
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issues. Thanks for your support.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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NutWorks News
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=============
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1) The NutWorks Staff Would like to wish everyone a great time at the
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upcoming Netcon being held in Washington, D.C., October 11 - 14.
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2) (Outdated text deleted.)
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3) The Staff has decided that on top of distributing NutWorks through
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the Forum Conferencing System to create a mailing list. To get yourself
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added to this list send a memo with your account, node, and name (First,
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Last) to BRENT@MAINE.
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4) The CURRENT mailing list is 120 People on Bitnet !!! WOW !!!
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:-)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Bugs
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==========
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I think that I shall never see
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a subroutine that works for me
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a macro or a zero test
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that isn't just a rodent's nest
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a string that doesn't always stray
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and mix up bit's in wild array
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a process with re-entrant flair
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that isn't just a looping snair
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routines whose timings are not slain
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when interrupts begin to rain
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maybe god can make a tree
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but bugs are made by guys like me!
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Another Glitch in the Call
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==========================
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(Sung to the tune of a similar Pink Floyd song.)
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(Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)
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We don't need no indirection
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We don't need no flow control
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No data typing or declarations
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Hey! You! Leave those lists alone!
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Chorus:
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All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
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We don't need no side effect-ing
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We don't need no scope control
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No global variables for execution
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Hey! You! Leave those args alone!
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(Chorus)
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We don't need no allocation
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We don't need no special nodes
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No dark bit-flipping in the functions
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Hey! You! Leave those bits alone!
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(Chorus)
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We don't need no compilation
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We don't need no load control
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No link edit for external bindings
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Hey! You! Leave that source alone!
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(Chorus, and repeat)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Proofs
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==========
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The following is a list of some common proof techniques that
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are often extremely useful.
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1 Proof by example:
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The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that
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it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.
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2 Proof by intimidation:
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'Trivial.'
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3 Proof by vigorous handwaving:
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Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
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4 Proof by cumbersome notation:
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Best done with access to at least four alphabets
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and special symbols.
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5 Proof by exhaustion:
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An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is
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useful.
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6 Proof by omission:
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'The reader may easily supply the details.'
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'The other 253 cases are analogous.'
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'...'
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7 Proof by obfuscation:
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A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless
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syntactically related statements.
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8 Proof by wishful citation:
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The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization
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of a theorem from literature to support his claims.
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9 Proof by funding:
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How could three different government agencies be wrong?
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10 Proof by eminent authority:
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'I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably
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NP-complete.'
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11 Proof by personal communication:
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'Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is NP-complete
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[Karp, personal communication].'
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12 Proof by reduction to the wrong problem:
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' To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping
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is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem.'
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13 Proof by reference to inaccessible literature:
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The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be
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found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian
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Philological Society, 1883.
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14 Proof by importance:
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A large body of useful consequences all follow from the
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proposition in question.
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15 Proof by accumulated evidence:
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Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.
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16 Proof by cosmology:
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The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or meaningless.
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Popular for proofs of the existence of God.
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17 Proof by mutual reference:
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In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in
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reference B, which is shown from Corollary 6.2 in reference C,
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which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.
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18 Proof by metaproof:
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A method is given to construct the desired proof. The
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correctness of the method is proved by any of these techniques.
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19 Proof by picture:
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A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well
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with proof by omission.
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20 Proof by vehement assertion:
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It is useful to have some kind of authority in relation to
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the audience.
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21 Proof by ghost reference:
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Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears
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in the reference given.
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22 Proof by forward reference:
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Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author,
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which is often not as forthcoming as at first.
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23 Proof by semantic shift:
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Some standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for
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the statement of the result.
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24 Proof by appeal to intuition:
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Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The Virus
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=========
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by: J. Keith Lehman
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WT123275 @ WVNVAXA (Fozzy Bear)
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SEP-16-2007
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BRAM (Bacterial Random Access Memory) was the greatest innov-
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ation in the computer industry since the introduction of thought
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recognition systems back in 1997. Before BRAM, most home compu-
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ters had more than 64 gigabytes of memory. Now the amount of
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memory is governed by the need. If you need more memory, simply
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"uncage" some of your multiplying bacteria. In a matter of sec-
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onds the bacteria will divide into astronomical amounts of
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memory using normal cell division. Information is stored in the
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DNA molecules of the bacteria which you produce.
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By the year 2002, nearly every computer system relied on BRAM
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for the huge amount of storage required to translate thought
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processes into a form computers could read. All governments had
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BRAM based defense systems and now the BRAM technology had
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finally arrived on the home market. For only $32,000 (the cost
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of an average laser printer) you could buy a BRAM module for
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your home system. They sold every one they could make.
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The tragedy occured when a disgruntled employee of the Genen-
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comp division of Eastern-IBM started to research ways to alter
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the genetic structures of the BRAM bacteria through a type of
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virus. His apparent aim was to hold Eastern-IBM's data hostage.
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He was given everything that he demanded in the hope that IBM
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scientists could discover the strain before he could release it.
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After extensive searches it was determined that the virus was a
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hoax. IBM had the man arrested and he was sentenced to 2 years
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in a minimum security prison. IBM continued to produce the BRAM
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module, and for a while everything went smoothly.
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Until... It turned out that the employee had hidden the
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infamous strain in the form of actual electrical instructions
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embedded within a variable-bit microprocessor used in IBM's most
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popular mini-computer. The program was set to execute auto-
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matically after four months. Upon execution, the instructions
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reprogrammed an innocent BRAM bacteria into a cancerous virus.
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The entire IBM computer system was destroyed. Consumers and
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businesses lost faith in IBM and the company filed for Chapter
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11 within a week.
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The instructions to reprogram the bacteria were simultaneously
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transmitted to every computer on every network connected in any
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way to IBM--which turned out to be quite a lot. The IBM research
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network was connected to popular world wide networks used by
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colleges, businesses, home computer owners and defense depart-
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ment computers as well. The result--TOTAL ANNIHILATION of nearly
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every computer big and small.
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Businesses suddenly had no records, no way to take new orders
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or any way to confirm existing orders. Thousands of businesses
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crumbled. The world economy was thrust into chaos as banks
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closed and called in their loans. Several smaller countries were
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hit by revolutions. The news media compared it to a nuclear
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blast hitting the economy of every country in the world.
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Needless to say, BRAM was declared to be a threat to national
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security and federal authorities had the authority to arrest
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anyone caught experimenting with it. The disgruntled employee
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was exiled out of the U.S. (the first time anyone had been
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exiled since 1990). The IRS suspended all audits for 2 years
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because they could not expect people to to complete their tax
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forms correctly without the aid of computers. Everyone dragged
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out their old silicon based computers and tried to cope with
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losing all the information formerly in the BRAM systems.
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Two years later the virus died out due to a lack of new BRAM
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to feed on. Some BRAM systems were revived with a new antibiotic
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organism that roamed throughout the memory serching for any
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trace of a virus. Fortunately, no other virus has been found...
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yet...!
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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SEMICONDUCTOR DEFINITIONS AND TERMINOLOGY
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=========================================
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HOLES .................... the presence of nothing
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HOLE DENSITY ............. a concentrated amount of nothing in 1
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small place
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ELECTRON ................. the absence of holes
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PLANCK'S CONSTANT ........ two board feet
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JUNCTION ................. fork in the road
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P-N JUNCTION ............. roadside rest area
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SEMI-CONDUCTOR ........... truck driver
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DEGENERATE SEMICONDUCTOR . truck driver who likes his tea
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DOPE ..................... someone you know
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HEAVILY DOPED ............ someone you wish you didn't know
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STORE CHARGE ............. wine cellar
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SILICON .................. a gay prisoner
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GERMANIUM ................ would have been a flower but someone
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misspelled it
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TRANSPORT FACTOR ......... cousin of Max Factor
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MAJORITY CARRIER ......... Republican carrying signs at a
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Republican convention
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MINORITY CARRIER ......... Democrat carrying signs at a Republican
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convention
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BASE ..................... low man in a quartet
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COMMON BASE .............. local pub
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COLLECTOR ................ one who collects
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COMMON COLLECTOR ......... one who collects from everybody
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COLLECTOR CAPACITY ....... maximum # of people a common collector
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can handle
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COLLECTOR BREAKDOWN ...... result of being a common collector
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VOLTAGE DROP ............. a candy, like a gum drop
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CURRENT DENSITY .......... present stupidity
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CURRENT GAIN ............. most recent rise in one's stock
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POWER GAIN ............... fullback up the middle
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ATOM ..................... part of an American colloquial
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expression, "up & atom"
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DELAY TIME ............... time it takes to start working after one
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has arrived on the premises
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RISE TIME ................ time one takes to get up in the morning
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after the alarm has gone off
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FALL TIME ................ September to November
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SWITCHING TRANSISTORS .... act of changing one transistor for another
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DCTL ..................... Don't Complain if the Transistor's Lousy
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IcZERO ................... mistake, it should read "I see Zorro"
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MINIATURE ................ small
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MICRO .................... damn small
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------------------------------------------------------------------------
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OP CODES PART I (A - E)
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=======================
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(Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)
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mnemonic meaning
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-------- -------
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AAC Alter All Commands
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AAD Alter All Data
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AAO Add And Overflow
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AAR Alter At Random
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AB Add Backwards
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ABR Add Beyond Range
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ACC Advance CPU clock
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ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
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ADB Another Damn Bug [UNIX]
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AEE Absolve engineering errors
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AFF Add Fudge Factor
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AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
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AFP Abnormalized Floating Point
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AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant "the constant
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that must be added to make your data support
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your conclusions"
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AGB Add GarBage
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AI Add Improper
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AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
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AMM Answer My Mail
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AOI Annoy Operator Immediate
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AR Alter Reality
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ARNZ Add & Reset to Non-Zero
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ARZ Add & Reset to Zero
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AS Add Sideways
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AT Accumulate Trivia
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AWP Argue With Programmer
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AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
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BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
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BAF Blow All Fuses
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BAH Branch And Hang
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BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger
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BAW Bells And Whistles
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BB Branch on bug
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BBB Burn Baby Burn
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BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
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BBI Branch on Blinking Indicator
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BBL Branch on Burned-out Lamp
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BCB Burp and Clear Bytes
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BCBF Branch on Chip Box Full
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BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
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BCR Backspace Card Reader
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BCU Be Cruel and Unusual
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BD Backspace Disk
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BDC Break Down and Cry
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BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory
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BDT Branch on Dumb Terminal
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BDT Burn Data Tree [next opcode after Decorate Data
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Tree
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BDU Branch on Dumb User
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BE Branch Everywhere [As in HHGttG's Infinite
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Improbability Computer"
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BF Belch Fire
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BH Branch and Hang
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BIRM Branch on Index Register Missing
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BLC Branch and Loop Continuous
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BLM Branch, Like, Maybe
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BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
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BLR Branch and Lose Return
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BM Branch Maybe
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BMI Branch on Missing Index
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BNA Branch to Nonexistent Address
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BNR Branch for No Reason
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BOA Branch on Operator Absent
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BOD Branch on Operator Desperate
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BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority
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BOP Boot OPerator
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BPD Branch on Programmer Debugging
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BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals
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BPO Branch on Power Off
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BR Byte and Run
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BRA BRanch Anywhere
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BRA Branch to Random Address
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BRI BRanch Indefinitely
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BRO BRanch to Oblivion
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BRP Branch on Real Programmer
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BRT BRanch on Tuesdays
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BSC Burst Selector Channel
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BSM Branch and Scramble Memory
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BSO Branch on Sleepy Operator
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BSP BackSpace Printer
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BST Backspace & Stretch Tape
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BTD Byte The Dust
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BTJ Branch & Turn Japanese
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BTO Branch To Oblivion
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BW Branch on Whim
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BWABL Bells, Whistles And Blinking Lights
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BWOP BeWilder OPerator
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CAF Convert Ascii to Farsic
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CAI Corrupt Accounting Information
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CAIL Crash After I Leave
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CAT Confused And Tired [UNIX]
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CBA Compare & Branch Anyway
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CBNC Close, But No Cigar
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CBS Clobber BootStrap
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CC Call Calvary
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CC Crappy Control [UNIX]
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CCB Consult Crystal Ball
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CCCP Conceal Condition-Codes Permanently
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CCD Choke, Cough and Die
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CCD Clear Current Directory "this may really exist!"
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CCD Clear Core and Dump
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CCR Change Channels Random
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CCS Chinese Character Set
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CCWR Change Color of Write Ring
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CDR Complement Disk Randomly
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CFS Corrupt File Structure
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CG Convert to Garbage
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CH Create Havoc
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CHAPMR CHAse Pointers Around Machine Room
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CIB Change Important Byte
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CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map
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CM Circulate memory
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CMD CPU Melt Down
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CMD Compare Meaningless Data
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CMI Clobber Monitor Immediately
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CML Compute Meaning of Life (42)
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CMP Create Memory Prosthesis
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CMS Click MicroSwitch
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CN Compare Nonsensically
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CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown
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COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
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COMF COMe From
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COS Copy Object Code to Source File
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COWHU Come Out With your Hands Up
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CP%FKM CPU - Flakeout mode
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CP%WM CPU - Weird Mode
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CPB Create Program Bug
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CPR Compliment PRogrammer ("Aren't you cute!")
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CPSN Change Processor Serial Number
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CRASH Continue Running after Stop or Halt
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CRM Clear Random Memory
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CRN Convert to Roman Numerals [IBM Italy only]
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CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mnemonic [UNIX]
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CS Crash System
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CSL Curse and Swear Loudly
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CSN Call Supervisor Names
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CSNIO Crash System on Next I/O
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CSU Call Self Unconditional " the ultimate in
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recursive programming"
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CSYS Crash SYStem
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CTDMR Change Tape Density, Mid Record
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CUC Cheat Until Caught
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CVFL Convert Floating to Logical
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CVFP ConVert FORTRAN to PASCAL
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CVG ConVert to Garbage
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CVU ConVert to Unary
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CWAH Create Woman And Hold
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CWDC Cut Wires and Drop Cores
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DA Develop Amnesia
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DAP De-select Active Peripheral
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DAUF Delete All Useless Files "would YOU trust a
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computer that far ???"
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DBL Desegregate Bus Lines
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DBR Debase Register
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DBZ Divide By Zero
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DC Degauss Core
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DC Divide and Conquer
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DCAD Dump Core And Die
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DCD Drop Cards Double
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DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
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DCI Disk Crash Immediate
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DCON Disable CONsole
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DCT Drop Cards Triple
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DCWPDGD Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk
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DD Destroy Disk
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DDC Daily During Calculations
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DDOA Drop Dead On Answer
|
|
DDS Delaminate Disk Surface
|
|
DEB Disk Eject Both
|
|
DEC Decompile Executable Code
|
|
DEI Disk Eject Immediate
|
|
DEM Disk Eject Memory
|
|
DES Disk Eject Swapped
|
|
DHTPL Disk Head Three Point Landing
|
|
DIA Develop Ineffective Address
|
|
DIIL Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loop
|
|
DIRFW Do It Right For Once
|
|
DISC DISmount CPU
|
|
DJ Deferred Jump
|
|
DK Destroy Klingons
|
|
DK%WMM Disk Unit - Washing Machine Mode
|
|
DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
|
|
DLN Don't Look Now...
|
|
DLP Drain Literal Pool
|
|
DMPE Decide to Major in Physical Education
|
|
DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key
|
|
DO Divide & Overflow
|
|
DOC Drive Operator Crazy
|
|
DPC Decrement Program Counter
|
|
DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
|
|
DPR Destroy Program
|
|
DPS Disable Power Supply
|
|
DRAF DRAw Flowchart
|
|
DRI Disable Random Interrupt
|
|
DRT Disconnect Random Terminal
|
|
DS Deadlock System
|
|
DSH Destroy Sector Header
|
|
DSI Do Something Interesting
|
|
DSPK Destroy Storage Protect Key
|
|
DSR Detonate Status Register
|
|
DSTD Do Something Totally Different
|
|
DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
|
|
DT%FFP DecTape - unload and Flappa-FlaP
|
|
DT%SHO DecTape - Spin Hubs Opposite
|
|
DTC Destroy This Command
|
|
DTI Do The Impossible
|
|
DTRT Do The Right Thing
|
|
DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left
|
|
DU Dump User
|
|
DUD Do Until Dead
|
|
DVC Devaluate Computer
|
|
DW Destroy Work
|
|
DW Destroy World
|
|
DWIM Do What I Mean
|
|
DWIT Do What I'm Thinking
|
|
DWL Define Word Length
|
|
DWLZ Define Word Length Zero
|
|
EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
|
|
EC Eat card
|
|
EC Eject Carriage
|
|
ECI Execute Current Instruction
|
|
ECL Early Care Lace
|
|
ECO Electrocute Computer Operator
|
|
ECP Erase Card Punch
|
|
ED Eject Disk
|
|
ED Execute Data [UNIX]
|
|
EDD Eat Disk and Die
|
|
EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time
|
|
EDR Execute Destructive Read
|
|
EDS Execute Data Segment
|
|
EEP Erase Entire Program
|
|
EFD Eject Floppy Disk
|
|
EIAO Execute In Any Order
|
|
EIO Erase I/O page
|
|
EIOC Execute Invalid OpCode
|
|
EIP Execute Programmer Immediately
|
|
EJD%V EJect Disk with initial velocity V
|
|
ELP Enter Loop Permanently
|
|
EM Emulate 407
|
|
EM Evacuate Memory
|
|
EMSL Entire Memory Shift Left
|
|
EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician
|
|
EMW Emulate Matag washer
|
|
ENF Emit Noxious Fumes
|
|
ENH Execute No-op & Hang
|
|
EO Execute Operator
|
|
EOI Execute Operator Immediate
|
|
EP Execute Programmer
|
|
EPI Execute Programmer Immediate
|
|
EPP Eject Printer Paper
|
|
EPS Electrostatic Print and Smear
|
|
EPS Execute Program Sideways
|
|
EPT Erase Process Table
|
|
EPT Erase Punched Tape
|
|
ERI Execute Random Instruction
|
|
ERIC Eject Random Integrated Circuit
|
|
EROS Erase Read Only Storage "Sounds like an IBM
|
|
special!"
|
|
ESB Eject Selectric Ball "from IBM selectric
|
|
typewriter terminals"
|
|
ESL Exceed Speed of Light
|
|
ETI Execute This Instruction [for recursive programs"
|
|
ETM Emulate Turing Machine
|
|
EVC Execute Verbal Commands
|
|
EWD Execute Warp Drive
|
|
EXX A real instruction on the Zilog Z-80 -Zilog is
|
|
owned by EXX on"
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax)
|
|
a great Adventure (game?) took place...
|
|
|
|
XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X XX XXXXX XXXX X
|
|
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
|
|
X X XXXXX X X X X X X X XXXX X
|
|
X X X X X XX X XXXXXX XXXXX X X
|
|
X X X X X XX XX X X X X X X
|
|
XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X X X X X XXXX X
|
|
|
|
It is a period of system war. User programs striking from
|
|
a hidden directory, have won their first victory against the
|
|
evil Administrative Empire. During the battle, User spies
|
|
managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's ultimate
|
|
program: The Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with
|
|
enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued
|
|
by the Empire's sinister audit trail, Princess Linker races
|
|
aboard her shell script, custodian of the stolen listings
|
|
that could save her people, and restore freedom and games to
|
|
the network...
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER
|
|
|
|
As we enter the scene, an Imperial Multiplexer is trying
|
|
to kill a consulate ship. Many of their signals have gotten
|
|
through, and RS232 decides it's time to fork off a new
|
|
process before this old ship is destroyed. His companion,
|
|
3CPU, is following him only because he appears to know where
|
|
he's going..
|
|
|
|
"I'm going to regret this!" cried 3CPU, as he followed
|
|
RS232 into the buffer. RS232 closed the pipes, made the SYS
|
|
call, and their process detached itself from the burning
|
|
shell of the ship. The commander of the Imperial Multiplexer
|
|
was quite pleased with the attack. "Another process just
|
|
forked, sir. Instructions?" asked the lieutenant. "Hold your
|
|
fire. That last power failure must have caused a trap
|
|
throughout zero. It's not using any cpu time, so don't waste
|
|
a signal on it." "We can't seem to find the data file
|
|
anywhere, Lord Vadic." "What about that forked process? It
|
|
could have been holding the channel open, and just pausing.
|
|
If any links exist, I want them removed or made inaccessable.
|
|
Ncheck the entire file system 'til it's found, and nice it
|
|
-20 if you have to."
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile, in our wandering process...
|
|
|
|
"Are you sure you can Ptrace this thing without causing a
|
|
core dump?" queried 3CPU to RS232. This thing's been
|
|
striped, and I'm in no mood to try and debug it." The lone
|
|
process finishes execution, only to find our friends dumped
|
|
on a lonely file system, with the setuid inode stored safely
|
|
in RS232. Not knowing what else to do, they wandered around
|
|
until the jawas grabbed them.
|
|
|
|
Enter our hero, Luke Vaxhacker, who is out to get some
|
|
replacement parts for his uncle. The jawas wanted to sell him
|
|
3CPU, but 3CPU didn't know how to talk directly to an 11/40
|
|
with RSTS, so Luke would still needed some sort of interface
|
|
for 3CPU to connect to. "How about this little RS232 unit ?"
|
|
asked 3CPU. "I've delt with him many times before, and he
|
|
does an excellent job at keeping his bits straight." Luke
|
|
was pressed for time, so he took 3CPU's advice, and the three
|
|
left before they could get swapped out.
|
|
|
|
However, RS232 is not the type to stay put once you remove
|
|
the retaining screws. He promptly scurried off into the the
|
|
deserted disk space. "Great!" cried Luke, "Now I've got this
|
|
little tin box with the only link to that file off floating
|
|
in the free disk space. Well, 3CPU, we better go find him
|
|
before he gets allocated by someone else."
|
|
|
|
The two set off, and finaly traced RS232 to the home of
|
|
PDP-1 Kenobi, who was busily trying to run an Icheck on the
|
|
little RS unit. "Is this thing yours? His indirect address
|
|
are all goofed up, and the size is gargatious. Leave things
|
|
like this on the loose, and you'll wind up with dups
|
|
everywhere. However, I think I've got him fixed up. It
|
|
seems that he's has a link to a data file on the Are-Em Star.
|
|
This could help the rebel cause." "I don't care about that,"
|
|
said Luke. "I'm just trying to optimize my uncles scheduler."
|
|
"Oh, forget about that. Dec Vadic, who is responsible for
|
|
your fathers death, has probably already destroyed his farm
|
|
in search of this little RS232. It's time for you to leave
|
|
this place, join the rebel cause, and become a UNIX wizard! I
|
|
know a guy by the name of Con Solo, who'll fly us to the
|
|
rebel base at a price."
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
After sifting through the over-written remaining blocks of
|
|
Luke's home directory, Luke and PDP-1 sped away from /u/lars,
|
|
across the surface of the Winchester riding Luke's flying
|
|
read / write head. PDP-1 had Luke stop at the edge of the
|
|
cylinder overlooking /usr/spool/uucp. "Unix - to - Unix Copy
|
|
Program;" said PDP-1. "You will never find a more wretched
|
|
hive of bugs and flamers. We must be cautious." As our
|
|
heroes' process entered /usr/spool/news, it was met by a
|
|
newsgroup of Imperial protection bits.
|
|
|
|
"State your UID." commanded their parent process. "We're
|
|
running under /usr/guest. This is our first time on this
|
|
system," said Luke. "Can I see some temporary privileges,
|
|
please?" "Uh..."
|
|
|
|
"This is not the process you are looking for," piped in
|
|
PDP-1, using an obscure bug to momentarily set his effective
|
|
UID to root. "We can go about our business."
|
|
|
|
"This isn't the process we want. You are free to go about
|
|
your business. Move along!" PDP-1 and Luke made their way
|
|
through a long and tortuous nodelist (cwruecmp!decvax!ucbvax!
|
|
harpo!ihnss!ihnsc!ihnss!ihps3!stolaf!borman) to a dangerous
|
|
netnode frequented by hackers, and seldom polled by Imperial
|
|
Multiplexers. As Luke stepped up to the bus, PDP-1 went in
|
|
search of a likely file descriptor. Luke had never seen such
|
|
a collection of weird and exotic device drivers. Long ones,
|
|
short ones, ones with stacks, EBCDIC converters, and direct
|
|
binary interfaces all were drinking data at the bus.
|
|
|
|
"#@{ *&^%^$$#@ ":><?><" transmitted a particularly
|
|
unstructured piece of code. "He doesn't like you," decoded
|
|
his coroutine. "Sorry," replied Luke, beginning to backup his
|
|
partitions. "I don't like you either. I am queued for
|
|
deletion on 12 systems." "I'll be careful." "You'll be
|
|
reallocated!" concatenated the coroutine. "This little
|
|
routine isn't worth the overhead," said PDP-1 Kenobie,
|
|
overlaying into Luke's address space. "@$%&(&^%&$$@$#@$AV^$g
|
|
fdfRW$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" encoded the first coroutine as it
|
|
attempted to overload PDP-1's input over voltage protection.
|
|
With a unary stroke of his bytesaber, Kenobie unlinked the
|
|
offensive code. "I think I've found an I/O device that might
|
|
suit us." "The name's Con Solo. I hear you're looking for
|
|
some relocation." "Yes indeed, if it's a fast channel. We
|
|
must get off this device." "Fast channel? The Milliamp
|
|
Falcon has made the ARPA gate in less than twelve nodes!
|
|
Why, I've even outrun cancelled messages. It's fast enough
|
|
for you, old version."
|
|
|
|
Our heroes, Luke Vaxhacker and PDP-1 Kenobie made their
|
|
way to the temporary file structure. When he saw the
|
|
hardware, Luke exclaimed, "What a piece of junk! That's just
|
|
a paper tape reader!"
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Stay tune for the further adventures of Luke Vaxhacker in
|
|
The next issue of Nutworks.. --Ed
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------
|