75 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #44
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RELEASED 27 APRIL 1995
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WRITTEN BY SLEEPY
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MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
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SONIC FURY
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CCRIDER
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THE BIG CHEESE
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JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN)
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ORGASMIC ANOMALY
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SEXECUTIONER
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TODAY'S TOPIC: JEW THE JEWS, OR HOW TO GET A GOOD DEAL ON ANYTHING
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Last episode of our bargaining lessons, I explained how to act intelligent to
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get a salesman to cut a better deal on something. While I prefer getting
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things for free, that's not always possible. Good social engineering skills
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are necessary to get anything these days. Otherwise, well-trained salesmen
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will rip you a new asshole. Believe me, I used to sell cars...car salesmen
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are the lowest scum on earth. But, I'll deal with that later, first the second
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technique in bargaining.
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PART TWO: ACT STUPID
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This method will drive salesmen batty. First, when you examine the product
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don't say anything good about it, if possible. When the salesman asks quesions
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about how you like it, say "It's alright..." or "Fine, just fine..." Never
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volunteer information. Don't act like you know more than he does about the
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product. Then when he tries to "close" on you, say "I don't think I want to
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buy this today..." He'll start to sweat and ask more questions. Don't give
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solid answers. Doing this he will usually start to bargain, which he might
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not have done otherwise. The trick here is not to get excited about the
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product, no matter how you like it.
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PART THREE: SALES TACTICS
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Well, like I said before, I have sold cars. If a car lot does not have a list
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of cars' prices or have the prices posted, you can bet that they are trying
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to "gross" you. Doing this, the salesman will add money to the actual price
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of the car and then if you bargain you end up paying full sticker anyway. If
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you pay more, then you really get ripped. Ask to see the salesman's actaul
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copy of the prices. If he don't want to show it, leave. Tell him you
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know about this practice, and that you know it happens all the time. He
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might get offended, but who cares? Car salesmen are scum. They don't even
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treat each other with honesty, much less us. Fuck em!
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Next before you even negotiate price, ask to see the invoice...they will really
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bitch here, but who gives a fuck! When you get an offer for a price, ask for
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a signed Buyers' Order. This is not a legal document, so go ahead and sign
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it. Do NOT give a deposit...it's not required. If they say that the car
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might get sold, say "I don't care....I'll just go somewhere else." If they
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won't give a buyers' order don't buy from them. When you get the order, take
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it to another dealer and do the same. Then keep shopping till you get the best
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price.
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Now, be aware that you won't get much off a new car, but used cars can be
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discounted quite a bit. Especially unpopular models, like big cars or ugly
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colors.
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Using your newly found knowledge, go out and make those mother fuckers work
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for you! And remember, Win if you may, lose if you must; but always, always
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cheat!
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COPYWRONG 1995 MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD.
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All rights reversed.
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MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
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SONIC FURY
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CCRIDER
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THE BIG CHEESE
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JULIO (FORMERLY METHOD MAN)
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ORGASMIC ANOMALY
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SEXECUTIONER
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