624 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
624 lines
34 KiB
Plaintext
@BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZMoney Inc Digest #14 - by Sleepy
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900# Scams and Fast Food Anarchy
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ANOTHER FINE MONEY INC RELEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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***>$MONEY INC.$<***
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@END_FILE_ID.DIZ
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MONEY INC. DIGEST #14
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RELEASED 16 APRIL 1994
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KEYED AND CONCIEVED BY SLEEPY
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MONEY INC MEMBERS:
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SLEEPY
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SONIC FURY
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THE BIG CHEESE
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METHOD MAN
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CCRIDER
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GREETS GO OUT TO (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): .44 Magnum, Subhumanz and the rest
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of LSD (thanx for publishing my article Pazza!), Nighthawk and Radiance (some
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of them at least...), Loons, and if I forgot you, sorry, considering the trauma
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my brain has been through it's understandble...
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TODAY'S TOPIC: THE 900 NUMBER SCAM AND SOME FAST FOOD ANARCHY
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DISCLAIMER: YOU SUCK, FACE IT. IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN FAULT.
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Note: These two articles have been released before, in Phrack 45. However
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considering the size of Phrack magazines, and the number of people who don't
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read the entire magazine, I have elected to share with you parts of these
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articles, with some commentary of my own. These two articles are the epitome
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of what MONEY INC. stands for: Ripping people off and pissing people off.
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(Just thought I'd let you know before you accuse me of plagarism. Like I
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give a shit anyway.)
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TODAY'S THOUGHT: WIN IF YOU MAY, LOSE IF YOU MUST, BUT ALWAYS, ALWAYS CHEAT.
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- BOBBY HEENAN (MY HERO)
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* FRAUDULENT APPLICATION OF '900' SERVICES *
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Getting Started
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In setting up your own 900 number, you earn a big percentage of the net revenue
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generated by calls made to that number. You can advertise and promote your
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number in various and sundry ways in an extremely competitive environment,
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or--if you so happen to be a hacker--you can simply dial up some PBXes and call
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the number yourself. Since you'll be earning several dollars per minute, you
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won't be in any hurry to hang up. In fact, you may find yourself letting the
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phone stay off the hook while you chat on IRC or read the latest Phrack.
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Though not a scheme to get rich, this can provide a considerable income or
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simply an occasional bonus, depending on your h/p resourcefulness and effort
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exerted.
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Before you can start calling your own 900 number and making yourself money, you
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need to buy into the 900 business. On your next outing for the latest copy of
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Hustler, grab a USA Today. In the classifieds, (as well as many other business
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classifieds), under the heading "business opportunities," you'll notice any
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number of 900 ads. You want to find a "service bureau" and not a simple
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"reseller," so shop around and call a number of the companies, asking about
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percentages and whether or not your setup costs (usually ranging from $300 to
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$1500) are comprehensive for the year or whether you'll have to pay a monthly
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fee. Avoid these pesky monthly maintenance fees. All sorts of 900 packages
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exist, but you want an automated service--such as a dateline--that is ready to
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all as soon as you've paid. This means you'll have no equipment to set up, or
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900 trunks terminating at your house, or hookers to hire, etc. The service
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bureau provides you with the number and the service, so all you have to do is
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market the number (should you be legit). You can bargain a little on the setup
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fee. An example of a worthwhile deal would be as follows: an automated
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dateline number (similar to a voice ail system, only you listen to personal ads
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and have the option of leaving a response) for $750/year, a per minute rate of
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$3.99, and a 75% net return (i.e., you make about $3.00/min). AT&T and MCI
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provide 900 services to the service bureaus. AT&T is preferable, as you
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receive payment two months after the end of the calling month, as opposed to
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three months with MCI--so ask about this too. Your continued efforts will reap
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a monthly check thereafter.
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The service bureau actually sends you the check. You'll want it in a personal
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name to make it easier to cash with your bogus ID. Some bureaus will "factor"
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your account, meaning that if you've accumulated a lot of credits, they will
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pay you in advance of their getting paid by the carrier--for a percentage fee.
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Don't try to scam them on this; your account is scrutinized closely before a
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premature check is approved. If everything is done properly, both you and the
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service bureau will be happy. [That's what's so great about this project:
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everyone wins--you, the service bureau, even AT&T--only the PBX owner loses!]
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You will be able to check your credits, or "minutes" as called in the 900
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industry, by calling a special number provided by the service bureau. After
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entering your account codes, an automated response will give you statistics
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such as daily call reports and total minutes accumulated for the billing month.
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Be sure to find out about the virtual end-of-month date. The end of each
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billing period is not necessarily the last day of the month. Accordingly, you
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will need to plan your attacks with this in mind, as we will discuss next.
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Getting A Date
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Now that you've set up your dateline, you'll be anxious to start earning the
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three bucks a minute. The dateline makes it kind of fun, since you get to hear
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all kinds of ridiculous messages and the typical horny soliloquy. Get a
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speakerphone if you lack one now.
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You don't necessarily need PBXes--any outdials you find that complete a 900 call
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will suffice. However, the lines targeted must be those of a business, one
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that is large enough to own a PBX. Calling on residential lines, cell phones,
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or from small businesses will not work--the owners will get their bill, and
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simply call the phone company and complain that they didn't make the call.
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This will attract undesired attention to your line by the LEC and your
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service bureau, and it will also cost you in that the carrier connect fees,
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about .25 and .30 per minute, will be deducted from your account. The LD
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carriers get theirs, whether the party pays or not. This is why the calling
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method encouraged here is the PBX. If you can manipulate central office
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switches, do so by these same principles.
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PBX owners tend to pay their phone bills--including 900 calls that aren't
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outrageous. They'll assume that one of their own employees made the call, if
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they even notice. Instead of attempting to exploit a PBX to some astronomical
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degree, you're better off running up a mere fifty to sixty dollar charge. Do
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this every month as part of a schedule. Not only may it go unnoticed, but you
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are assured that it will go uncontested even if detected. Running up an
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excessive number of minutes risks unneeded attention and assures either a total
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"killing" of the PBX, or at minimum, 900 restrictions added by the PBX
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administrator. Even with a remote admin access, your luck will run out.
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Remember: YOU WILL ONLY GET PAID IF THE PBX OWNER PAYS THE PHONE BILL!
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With this in mind, the most limiting factor is the number of PBXes you can
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accumulate. The widespread raping of AT&T's System 75/85/Definity in 1992 (as
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a result of discoveries in 1991) made that year extremely ripe for this 900
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scheme. Many of us managed to accumulate large collections of System 75s,
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including the elusive Super Nigger, who allegedly compiled over 300. (Where
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the hell were you hiding?) AT&T security memorandums have since killed
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hundreds of these, but the defaults still work well in some cities.
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Regardless, PBXes abound, and the more you find, the more minutes you can
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generate.
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Let's look at a sample attack schedule:
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PBX # M T W Th F S Su
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01 15m
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02 10m
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03 8m
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04 14m
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05 16m
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06 24m
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07 12m
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08 13m
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09 16m
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10 2m,10m
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11 13m
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12 4m,4m
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Twelve PBXes are to be attacked in the sample week, so there are probably fifty
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PBXes totally to be attacked for the month. Each PBX is to be used only once
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per
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billing period. You will get many months of use out of each PBX with this
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conservative approach, so long as every hacker west of Poland doesn't have
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access as well. Notice how the number of connection minutes varies, and the
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calling pattern is quite random looking. The schedule is maintained not only
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to keep track of PBXes in your harem you've fucked for the month, but to assist
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you in generating minutes in a pseudo-random pattern. It is acceptable to have
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your minutes generated in a pattern, albeit a loose one. For instance, if all
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minutes are generated only on the weekend, a discerning eye will not attribute
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this to the type of marketing you are using. The sample schedule is only the
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ideal model. Having to rigid a pattern, however, such as having an exact
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number of calls each day, is potentially suspicious to your service bureau.
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Simultaneous calls to your 900 number through different outgoing trunks on the
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same PBX is also strongly discouraged.
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Listening Software
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Calling your 900 dateline number is fun, but when you've got over a hundred
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PBXes to hit each month for an average of fifteen minutes a pop, the novelty
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tends to wear off. Of course you can have a speakerphone and a time and go
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about other tasks between calls, but why not write a program that will enable
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your modem to do all this for you? All the program must do is have the modem
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call a PBX from a list, pause, and call your 900 (or another PBX and then your
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900, for LD PBX attacks). Once connected to your 900, it must stay "listening"
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until a random timer (10-20 minutes) hangs it up. Depending upon your dateline
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service, the modem may have to emit a DTMF every once in a while to keep the
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service convinced you're still there. This is a very worthwhile program to
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write--it can drastically reduce your total time spent with this operation,
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leaving you with only the PBX list to maintain (additions and deletions), and
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the spending of your hard-earned cash (the novelty of this WON'T wear off).
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Large Charge-Rate Option
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A 900 number can be set up to charge as much as $50 per call. Whether the call
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lasts less then a minute, or for over ten, the cost for the caller is the same
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$50. In order to set up such an account, you must qualify as an "Information
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Provider," or IP. Regulations on 900 numbers state that you must be a provider
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of information, not tangible goods. With a dateline, the information is
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included in your deal with the service bureau, so you are considered an IP.
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The bureau can provide you with your own number that terminates in a voice
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processing or audio-text system, but now you must provide the actual
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information. Your idea must be approved by the LD carrier, and they tend to
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scrutinize your plans the higher your desired rate. Your bureau may even
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subject your service to a test to make sure it's not a fake.
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One idea is to ask for a $25 per-call rate. Make like a writer of shareware
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programs, and have your 900's announcement ask the caller to leave name and
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address to be legally registered to use the software, and to receive updated
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versions. A confirmation notice will be sent to acknowledge the registration.
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Many bureaus will accept this as qualification for IP status, if properly
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presented. A sample arrangement like this should not cost more than a grand to
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set up. Stats on minutes are checked just as with the dateline, only you'll
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receive any messages left by callers, and you'll receive any messages left by
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callers, and you'll be able to change the announcements--just like voice mail.
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[IT's always a thrill to call a 900 number and hear yourself thanking the
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caller, heh heh.] On a $25 line, you should net about $19 per call.
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All the same rules apply using this large charge-rate setup. You can't abuse a
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PBX any more with this option then with a dateline. It does give you the added
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flexibility for methods used other than PBXes, such as outdials that will only
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connect briefly. For instance, message notification on voicemail will not
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connect to a number for prolonged durations, but long enough to activate a $25
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charge. And a typical modem outdial on a mainframe will soon hang up with the
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absence of an answering carrier, but the linger is long enough for a $25 call.
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And with CO switching, the arrangements you make are ideally temporary--turned
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quickly on and off--making a fast $25 hit optimal. Lastly, if you are skilled
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in accessing corporate phone closets (see "Physical Access and Theft," Phrack
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43) or the corresponding outside plant, you can use your test set to call your
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900. Obviously a large charge-rate would be better here too, rather than
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standing for endless periods of time in compromising positions connected to a
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squawking dateline.
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No matter how you access business lines, be sure they belong to a large
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company. Definitely experiment, but do so in moderation--make any necessary
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notes (like time and date of call) and wait for your 900 billing statement to
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see if the call was paid for. [Your billing statement, essentially a call
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accounting summary, is created for each billing month by the LD carrier and
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sent to you via the service bureau with your check. It includes the calling
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phone numbers, time, date, duration, etc. of all calls made to your number.]
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A Final Word
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It would be hard to get "busted" doing anything mentioned in this article.
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Even if you're nabbed for misdemeanor PBX abuse, no one will ever imagine--let
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alone try to prove--that the 900 number you were calling is your own. [Hey,
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you're just a desperately lonely guy!] However, be wary of pen registers
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(DNRs) if you've been up to other dark deeds, and set up your calling
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operations at a safer place. Don't check your minutes using any of the same
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means that you use to generate them (a record of your calling into your 900
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backdoor is probably the most incriminating track you can make). Keep your 900
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account anonymous, as with your address, voice mail, and ID/SSN.
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SLEEPY'S NOTES: WELL, THIS SCAM DOES WORK. SIMPLY PUT. ALL I CAN SAY IS
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TRY IT FOR YOURSELF, AND FOLLOW THE FILE EXPLICITLY, SINCE IT IS EXTREMELY
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WELL WRITTEN. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THE ILLEGAL PART, 900'S ARE
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AN EASY WAY TO MAKE MONEY IF YOU HAVE INFO THAT PEOPLE WANT. DON'T SET
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UP AN H/P NUMBER THOUGH, SINCE NO ONE WILL PAY FOR IT, AND YOU WON'T GET
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PAID EITHER.
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THIS NEXT ARTICLE IS ESPECIALLY FOR CCRIDER....HOWEVER, MOST OF YOU WHO LIKE
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TO RAISE A LITTLE HELL WILL ENJOY IT. NOTE: THESE SCAMS CAN BE DONE AT MOST
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FAST FOOD JOINTS.
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FUCKING WITH MICKEY DEE'S
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- Charlie X -
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INTRODUCTION
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Ok... everyone is familiar with the world's largest and fastest
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growing fast food chain, McDonald's. The founder, Ray "Crock", wanted an
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environment where families and friends could get food with friendly
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service at any time of the day... Boy, what a crock, at least now.
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To top everything off, McDonald's attacks decent food establishments
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by criticizing the food content... not like you'll find anything not
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genetically engineered in McDonald's food... Everyone must realize that
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McDonald's sucks, and you must do your part to put the fucking place out
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of commission...
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As far as I can tell, everyone in McDonald's is rude and has an
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attitude, from the management to the customer. They, as most
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restaurants do, firmly believe THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT. This is
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true even when the customer is an asshole with blind disregard for
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everyone and everything. This is where you come in... Here are a few
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things that you can do to put your local McDonald's in it's place...
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Recently in the news, a major group sited McDonald's as the most
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environmentally responsible establishment on the planet (note: this is
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even over green peace and Sally Struthers)... how the hell is this
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possible?
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SENIOR CITIZENS BENEFIT DAY/WEEK
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McDonald's is nice to senior citizens. Every McDonald's offers
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free or reduced price meals or drinks to Senior citizens... Now, all
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you have to do is attract them. For a minimal price, you can publish
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an ad in the local newspaper, or publish your own flier (can be
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cheaply made) which explains that a certain day/week, your local
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McDonald's will recognize senior citizens with free food, coffee,
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senior activities, you know... a big senior social. You may want to
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mention that other organizations will be there to speak and make the
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whole "event" decent... Now, if your McDonald's already offers
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free/reduced coffee, food, or sodas, this will definitely break them,
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and cause them to order much more supply, and could even cause them
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to run out of coffee or soda for the rest of the day... on the other
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hand, if they don't offer this, the mass crowd of old people asking
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for shit will certainly piss someone off... This has been tested, and
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as a result, a McDonald's had to close for a day to reorganize and
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reorder supplies, as well as "launch an investigation" about this
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Day, but they never turned up anything.
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GARBAGE CAN TRICKS
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Since McDonald's is usually a busy restaurant, the trash bags
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fill up quickly and must be changed frequently (but never are.) There
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are several things you can do to the trash cans. For starters, ask
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for hot or boiling water. If you don't want to attract attention by
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doing this, bring in your own really hot water... boil it, put it in
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a Styrofoam cup or a thermos... once in McDonald's, locate the filled
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trash can (should not be hard to find) and dump the hot water down
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the side. Not only will this melt the side of the bag, causing the
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trash to go everywhere, the person who takes out the garbage must
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pick up all the trash by hand and dump out the trash can with water
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in the bottom. This also soaks the trash, breaks up paper, and makes
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the whole experience quite unpleasant, but hilarious to watch.
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Another easy trick is to walk up to the trash can areas, take
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the trays sitting above the trash cans, and simply throw them in all
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the cans. This will either make the employee fish them out by hand,
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or will cause the restaurant to be short of several trays, which
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becomes quite annoying.
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FOOD TRICKS
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There are several things to do with the food. Since there is
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probably something wrong with it in the first place, you might want
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to simply make the problem bigger... Before you enter the restaurant,
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cut some of your hair, or hair off of a pet. When at your table,
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place the hair all over the inside of the burger. When the line at
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the counter is long, and everyone is busy, cut up to the front of the
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counter, and start complaining about your burger. Show EVERYONE the
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hair inside the burger. You will get another burger, and most likely,
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a lot of free shit so you will come back. You will also cause most
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everyone to leave, and people in the kitchen to get shit on by the
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manager.
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ON A BUSY DAY...
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Busy days are the best. Customers are in a hurry, so are the
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employees... everyone has a short fuse and usually do not pay
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attention to what you say, or get very pissed. Ask for real dumb
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shit... For example, "I'd like a 69 piece Chicken McNugget." The best
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thing to do is to order a simple cheeseburger, and screw it all up
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with special orders... For example, "I'd like a cheeseburger, with
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extra cheese, no mustard, extra catsup, extra onions, lettuce,
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tomato, a real little dab of mayo, and make it well done... oh wait,
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I don't want cheese anymore. Just put extra lettuce on it... [wait
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for them to send the order back to the kitchen]... then Oh, wait,
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sorry... I just want a BigMac." You can also say, "I'd like a medium
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Coke with just 4 pieces of ice in it." They will always do what you
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say... Keep in mind that special orders do not cost extra, so you can
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order a hamburger, ask for extra mustard, catsup, and somewhere in
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there, casually mention extra cheese... 9 times out of 10 this
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works... and you don't get charged. NOTE: if you hear a printer
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printing followed by 3 beeps somewhere in the kitchen, your grill
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order was printed, and will be made... so change it after you hear
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that.
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In some McDonald's, you will find the "Need A Penny - Take a
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Penny," Where people put in their loose change in case someone else
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is short some money... steal ALL the money in this. In one month, I
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made $42.71 from stealing the money from all the Need A Penny cups in
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my area... This is a good secondary income for lazy people.
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If you plan on a big order, start off by telling the person you
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just want a soda. After they give a total and get ready to take your
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money, add an item. Keep saying "That's it" and repeat this process
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until you have what you wanted, and have wasted several minutes. You
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can also have the cashier repeat your order as many times as you
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wish, also wasting time.
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THE INQUIRING CUSTOMER
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McDonald's managers pride themselves in knowing the answers,
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and employees like to pretend that they do. So, on a busy day, keep
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asking dumb questions... Here are a few to ask... Oh, never actually
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order anything... just hold up the line with your questions. Here are
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a few questions to ask:
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- "How is your meat prepared at the factory?"
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- "What part of the chicken does the McNugget come from?"
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- "Who was the BigMac named after?"
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- "What is the post-cooked weight of your quarter pounder?"
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- "Where does your <pick a vegetable> come from?"
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- "How fresh is your <McD product>?"
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- "What is the square root of 69.666?"
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- "What is the nutritional value of a 9 piece McNugget box?"
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DRIVE-THRU FUN
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McDonald's videos tell the employees that the Drive Thru makes
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up for more than 40% of the average McDonald's business. Simply put,
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this system needs a lot of work. The speakers rarely work, and you
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usually get your order screwed up. The first thing to do is to take
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your car and back over the cut square in the pavement right beside
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the order sign several times. This causes a loud annoying "bong" to
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be heard by everyone with a headset... eventually the manager will
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come out with a weapon, and this is where you leave.
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Another thing to do is to drive up, and say, "I just want a lot
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of butter..." or "I'd like a large penis to go please." Usually,
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people in the drive thru service will laugh or screw something up,
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and you will get yelled at by the manager... waaah.
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If you want free food, order something in the drive thru. Keep
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your window down to listen to other orders. After you receive your
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food, park and enter the restaurant. Go to the front of the line and
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tell the person on duty that your order was screwed up... it helps to
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remember what someone else's order was, and then you just ask for
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that... you will get it. Sometimes, you even get free food for having
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a screwed up order.
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This prank requires guts, but can be somewhat amusing. Simply drive
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up in front of the sign, turn your engine off, and go inside the restaurant
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|
and eat. There's always room to park in the drive-thru lane... You could also
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tell the drive-thru person that your car stalled, and you will have to call
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the motor club. This can put a drive-thru out of commission until you decide
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to move your car.
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If you happen across a McDonald's that is expecting deliveries, or has
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cleaned the parking lot, you will notice traffic cones. You can move these
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cones around the drive-thru sign. Some people are stupid and will drive thru
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them anyway, so you may want to place a sign saying "DRIVE THRU CLOSED -
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- SORRY - MANAGEMENT." You can also place a legitimate order at the drive thru
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and right after your order, you can put a sign on the drive-thru sign saying
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the same "closed" message. The drive thru sensor does not sense foot traffic,
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|
so you can walk up to the sign and put one there...
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The drive thru headsets can be a good source of amusement. When
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ordering, mumble your order, scream it real loud, or say it like the
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|
microphone is cutting out, for example, "I'd like to order a LARGE
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|
ibbit-obbt-ibbit-urger with no Sa... and extra <crackle> and I'd also
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|
like a Med<cut> Oke." When they ask you to repeat, do the exact same
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|
thing. Remember, that as soon as you drive up to the sign, they can
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|
hear everything in your car... even if they are not talking. As soon
|
|
as they ask for your order, turn your stereo up real loud, and begin
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|
to say your order... this screws everything up... Also, ask for a
|
|
hotdog, or an item that you know they don't have. If you have the
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|
guts, are really bored, and are not driving YOUR car, take them
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|
seriously when they say "please drive through." This would be the
|
|
ultimate action, putting your local McDonald's out of business.
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|
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If you have a simple shortwave transceiver, Ham Radio, or powerful
|
|
handheld transceiver, you can talk to the entire drive-thru crew.
|
|
The antenna is located above the cashier in the drive-thru box and has
|
|
a receiving radius of the entire store and about half of the parking lot.
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|
You can add stuff to peoples orders, or just screw around. Drive thru
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|
people have noticed that illegally powerful CB radios, side band radios
|
|
and even some car phones can be picked up with the headsets. Be innovative
|
|
and use these to piss the employees off. If you do not have access to one,
|
|
simply hide behind the sign, and shout extra food or obscenities at
|
|
the sign...
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|
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GREASE DISPOSAL FUN
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|
|
|
This next trick involves little or no intelligence, or imagination,
|
|
but seems to get people every time. Behind McDonald's, usually found next
|
|
to trash cans or the empty soda-syrup containers, you will find a large
|
|
drum marked "not-fit for human consumption" or "inedible contents."
|
|
Although these warnings belong in the food, they mark the grease vat. This
|
|
is tightly sealed for a reason... it smells like dead human. They are also
|
|
easy to open. Usually, you can loosen the ring around the top and open
|
|
the lid. Be sure to cover your face when you do this... it does smell like
|
|
shit... The nice thing about this is that the smell will cover the entire
|
|
parking-lot area in roughly 10 minutes. Chemically, the smell will cause
|
|
nausea, and definitely a loss in appetite. People will get sick everywhere,
|
|
and definitely cause a loss of customers at McDonald's...
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|
|
|
A simple addition to the previous trick would be to tip the can. The
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|
grease will probably have hardened, but on a warm day or if the black
|
|
can is left in the sun, it will leave a sticky, raunchy mess in the
|
|
parking lot that will be impossible to clean up, and will stink infinitely.
|
|
This is a way to make the trick more damaging and longer lasting.
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|
|
|
DUMPSTER FUN
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|
McDonald's, or any fast food restaurant usually has a high volume of
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|
garbage output (not including the food). If you can travel around and
|
|
find large objects, you can dispose of them in the trash containers. If
|
|
you clog them up, not only will the store have to pay for an extra
|
|
collection of trash (to remove what you put in there), They'll have to pay
|
|
extra for later (or earlier) you do it, as well as what kind of objects
|
|
you put in there. You can also put the empty silver soda containers, bread
|
|
racks, or even signs and loose McDonald's shit in the trash. They won't
|
|
appreciate the loss, and it's gonna cost them money at both ends. Lame
|
|
but definitely effective.
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|
|
|
PHONE ORDER PHUN
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|
|
|
One thing that is not very well known is that McDonald's accepts phone
|
|
orders. This is a simple process. A serious, adult sounding voice can call
|
|
a local McDonald's and claim that they have a large order that they would like
|
|
ready for pickup. You supply a BS phone number, a BS name, and a BS order. The
|
|
larger it is the better. Usually give about a half an hour to an hour notice
|
|
to have the order ready. Good reasons for the orders are usually family get-
|
|
togethers, meetings at local universities, etc. The university excuses are much
|
|
better, because you can supply a college phone number (found in the phone book)
|
|
and if they call (the usually don't) to verify the order, they will get the
|
|
office, and will think it's legitimate. This prank is a beauty because after
|
|
the manager takes the order, it is given directly to the kitchen, who begins the
|
|
order. Again, they very rarely verify the orders, so it is easy to pull these
|
|
off. To make this prank better, you should throw in mass quantities of food
|
|
items that people NEVER eat -- Filet O' "Fish", Fajitas, etc... You can also
|
|
call them back at the time of pickup, and say "sorry, we decided to eat at
|
|
burger king..." DO NOT enter the restaurant and ask to buy the items at a
|
|
cheaper price, like the old pizza man trick... that's just lame.
|
|
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|
COMPUTER PHUN
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|
|
|
A nice thing about McDonald's is that it is linked via computer (and modem)
|
|
to OakBrook, Illinois. Check your local phone book for a McDonald's with 2
|
|
lines.
|
|
The second line is usually the computer line. You may also try Information.
|
|
If you aren't able to get the number, read these next 3 parts...
|
|
|
|
- McDonald's are listed by Restaurant number in the phonebook. You can
|
|
retrieve the number, then call the restaurant, asking for the manager.
|
|
When the manager identifies himself, with his name, you write the
|
|
name down, and tell him to get bent or something. With that information,
|
|
you can call McDonald's 800 number, or any McDonald's Corporation HQ
|
|
number
|
|
in OakBrook, Illinois (they will relay your call). You say you haven't
|
|
been receiving updates or any purchase orders, you identify yourself,
|
|
and your store number, and location (city, state...). They will check
|
|
the listings, and read off the phone number of the computer. If they
|
|
won't give it to you, they will allow you to change the computer number,
|
|
where you give them your enemies phone number or something, and they
|
|
will get called by modem repeatedly...
|
|
- Call your local McDonald's, identify yourself as Bill Haggan of Computer
|
|
Services, McDonald's, Oakbrook... etc. Say you are updating your records,
|
|
and need the computer telephone number. Get the number, then give them
|
|
a bullshit verification number.
|
|
- This is not very imaginative, but it works... it's also risky... wooooo.
|
|
Find the phone box, open the user service box, connect any phone with an
|
|
RJ-11 adaptor to the box and type your local ANI number (211, 811-9967)
|
|
etc... do that for each line that enters the restaurant. Then reconnect
|
|
it... you have the numbers.
|
|
|
|
Now that you have the numbers, there is a lot you can do. It is not wise to
|
|
enter the computer. Although goodies are buried there, any changes you make are
|
|
corrected that night with a verification call. It is also verified voice.
|
|
However, everything in the restaurant is connected to the computer. Once you
|
|
call the number, and connect to the computer, just sit there. The computer
|
|
freezes all time clocks, order programs, etc. Every display will be marked
|
|
"BUSY." This prevents anyone from punching in or out, the manager from checking
|
|
labor, printing schedules, do inquiries about anything... basically interrupt
|
|
most managerial and owner duties. If you find a constant busy signal, this
|
|
is very easy to correct. Simply ask for an operator interrupt. If the operator
|
|
breaks in, the beep will hang up the modem, allowing you to call right in.
|
|
This prank does have profound effects on the McDonald's. It is highly
|
|
recommended.
|
|
|
|
FREE SHIT AT McDonald's
|
|
|
|
Yes, I do mean shit... If you are involved in that fucking money crunch
|
|
like everyone else, and you feel that your money should be spent on better
|
|
things, rather than shitty food, here are a few pointers for free food.
|
|
These have all been tested. If you are caught in the act of getting free
|
|
food, nothing will happen, and it will be a big source of amusement...
|
|
|
|
Cheeseburger - On a busy drive-thru day, you can ask for a special order.
|
|
Ask for a hamburger with an extra item, like mustard or
|
|
something, and casually sneak in "extra cheese." If the
|
|
employees are stupid enough (a given), and the grill doesn't
|
|
question it, you will find yourself with a nice fresh
|
|
cheeseburger for the price of a hamburger... whoopee...
|
|
Any Item - The BEST thing to do is order something in the drivethru,
|
|
and then come in the restaurant with the bag from drive
|
|
thru and say "You forgot ..." If you ask the employees at
|
|
the counter, 9 times out of 10, you will get it... To be
|
|
on the safe side, you may want to go home, call the
|
|
McDonald's, say you went through the drive thru and you
|
|
didn't get your food item. You can give a bullshit name
|
|
or whatever, usually they don't even take the name, and
|
|
the next time you go in, you say you called, and you will
|
|
get gift certificates or free food... works every time.
|
|
|
|
BASTARDIZING FOOD ITEMS
|
|
|
|
If you want to attract a certain degree of attention to yourself, and
|
|
make employees and customers laugh, when you order food, fuck up the names
|
|
to say something cool... You'll still get the food you don't want, and this
|
|
too is a source of amusement. Spur-of-the-moment name bastardizations are
|
|
by far the funniest, but here are a few suggestions...
|
|
|
|
SHMEGMA MAC, SHMEGMA SACK - instead of Mega Mac (shmegma is Dick Cheese)
|
|
CHICKEN McFUCKUPS - Chicken McNuggets (be sure to ask for the 69 piece)
|
|
McDICKEN - McChicken (ask for extra Mayo and smile...)
|
|
CHOKE - Coke (I'd like a small choke with no ice)
|
|
McRIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE - McRib... Do they still make this?
|
|
FAGINA - Fajita (I'd like a FAGINA with extra cheese...)
|
|
|
|
IMPORTANT
|
|
|
|
Remember that McDonald's slogan is Food, Folks, and Fun...
|
|
Just take the "fun" part to the limit... You sort of have to compensate
|
|
for the asshole "folks" and the shit "food."
|
|
|
|
If you get bored, start molesting kids on the
|
|
playland or just break shit... throwing salt shakers (plastic or
|
|
glass) at the outside wall of the McDonald's is fun too... take
|
|
advantage of whatever there is in McDonald's... there are infinite
|
|
possibilities to create your local McDonald's an utter McHell. Don't
|
|
consider it illegal (most of it isn't...) consider it more of a
|
|
public service. Yeah... That's it.
|
|
|
|
SLEEPY'S NOTES: AGAIN, NOT MUCH I CAN SAY HERE. YOU SHOULD TRY THIS STUFF
|
|
EVERY TIME YOU GO TO MC DONALDS AND ANY OTHER FAST FOOD PLACE. THEY'RE GIVING
|
|
YOU CANCER, ULCERS AND GOD KNOW WHAT ELSE, WHY NOT FUCK WITH THEM A LITTLE?
|
|
|
|
COPYWRONG 1994 MONEY INC. PUBLISHING
|
|
ALL RIGHTS DIVIDED AND CONQURED.
|
|
|
|
MONEY INC. IS:
|
|
SLEEPY - FOUNDER AND LEADER
|
|
SONIC FURY - FOUNDER AND LEADER
|
|
THE BIG CHEESE
|
|
METHOD MAN
|
|
CCRIDER
|
|
|
|
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.
|
|
|
|
|
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|